The Bachelor is Filming Hometowns

There will be no spoiler alert here, today, this month, because The Bachelor hasn't started yet. Well, not for us to watch on TV. It's almost over as far as filming goes.
Can you believe that??? While we've been satisfying our Monday night Bachelor addiction with Dancing with the Stars, filming for The Bachelor has been forging ahead with the Farmer from Iowa, a fan favorite from Andi Dorfman's season.

Chris Soules is narrowing down the playing field as I write this, to four lucky farmerettes, I mean women. I HAVE jumped ahead to peek at what's going on, where they are, and what they're wearing on dates, but I won't give anything away to those of you who want to watch the whole thing unfold like a game of 52 pickup in January.
Let me just say this much. Chris has been around Des Moines Iowa this last week having final dates before Hometowns, and considering that everyone but me has a smartphone with an awesome camera and a twitter, tumblr and tinder accounts, the social media sites are buzzing with photos and sightings.

I've seen pics from cars, from football games, in the windows of restaurants, all over Des Moines as fans realize that Farmer Chris is dating in their own backyard.
Strange thing is that there is one girl who is unknown at this point. Reality Steve has no idea who she is until someone sends him some more information. Chop Chop Everyone!
Reality Steve puts together the information like he's running campaign headquarters for a presidential candidate. He filters information, then sends it out on twitter and his blog site to inform the public to their God-given right to know what is going on with The Bachelor. Steve even knows that when the Bachelor productions crew blows in to town, Tinder lights up for that particular town with hookups for the single crew members. If you're unfamiliar with Tinder, I believe it is a social media site for booty calls. Oh to be young in this day and age. One word: Condoms.


Anyways, Chris is looking good this week and didn't we just know that the down home farmer look was a thing of the past once he went through the PR machine that is The Bachelor. He'll never be the same again, probably will never be satisfied with the small town life, and his new wife, assuming he finds one in this group of highly made up super-modeled looking singles, will never know what it's like to bring in the hay in late August because winter's a comin.







Kim Hornsby writes award-winning novels that are cheaply priced considering how good they are. The Dream Jumper's Promise was Chanticleer's Top Pick for Mystery/Thriller Paranormal this year as well as being nominated for Best Indie First Book by Indie Rom/Con.

One Man Throws Andi Under the Bus on The Bachelorette Finale

One man is deliriously happy and one man is devastated enough to reveal on national TV that he and Andi did the dirty deed and then she dumped him. More on that in a bit.

The much anticipated Bachelorette finale was everything we could have asked for last night on ABC. The new format for the finale includes watching with a live studio audience hosted by Chris Harrison. It's almost like we are at an L.A. Bachelorette party! With lights, cameras, and former contestants in the front row looking uncomfortable and highly makeup'ed.
The Bachelorette Finale was set in the Dominican Republic at Casa de Campo where only Nick and Josh remained as Andi's choices for possible husbands. First up was the bashful, extremely nervous Nick Viall who brought Andi's mother a mega bouquet of flowers and her father a bottle of something that looked alcoholic.
Nick stumbled through lunch, obviously not the confident person we've seen in previous shows, interrupted Patti, the mom, to tell her how much he loves her daughter and asked for the dad's blessing if and when he decided to propose. Hy, the dad, paused long enough to make us squirm in our chairs in TV land, wondering if he'd refuse. He reassured Deer Caught in Headlights Nick that if Andi chose him, he'd trust her judgment. Phew. I thought Nick was going to faint from nerves on that one.

Next we cut to commercial and when we came back, Chris Harrison plugged Bachelor in Paradise and then back to the giant studio TV screen and the Dominican Republic.
It was Josh's turn to sweat and stutter with the parents and sister, Rachel. The former baseball player (doesn't this guy have a job?) from Atlanta arrived with a smaller bunch of flowers and what looked like a box of cigars that he almost handed to the sister in his nervous discombobulations. Sitting with Andi on the couch, he laid his hand on her thigh and proceeded to sweat through his blue shirt.Andi sat tight with Josh and they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Hy actually gave his blessing when Josh asked permission to propose to Andi and they set up a golf date for three months from the day. Just kidding.
The sister Rachel tried to cut to the core of Josh and determine if his too- good- to- be- true factor is real or if he is just this wonderfully handsome, available, athletic, lovable guy. Rachel and her turtle tattoo couldn't tell but advised Andi to follow her heart.
Andi's date the next day was with Josh and the kissing factor was ramped up to warp factor/ maximum overdrive as they motored to a snorkel spot on a yacht and took the kissing to the ocean. Later, at Josh's hotel room, they kissed some more, flirted, talked, and Josh all but put the ring on her finger. This guy must be in sales because he sure was assuming the sale like there was no elephant in the room. He even made her a baseball card, with stats and her new name Andi Murray. I don't think he even realized at this point that there was another contestant who loves her a million percent (as Nick would say, and did).

Nick's last date with Andi was off-roading in a jeep to a picturesque picnic spot where they said a whole lot of nothing. Nick's admission to the camera made no sense even though he said it twice. "If I ask Andi to marry me, it will be because there's not a doubt in my mind it's me." I don't think Nick knew the format of the show either. If you are the last one standing, it's you, and you are free to ask her to marry you. Later, they talked in his suite, she reassured him that everything was going to be alright and every time he voiced doubts, she kissed him. Andi is not allowed contractually to say "I love you" so Nick understood and felt a lot more confident after she didn't say those three words.
This is the part where Neil Lane flies in with bling and rings are chosen. Spoiler Alert: Only one man chose a ring. The other man didn't even get to see the jeweler from L.A. before Andi headed to his room to cut him loose.
Josh chose an enormous sparkler for his fiancee and Andi visited Nick's hotel room to let him down easy. She awkwardly told Nick that she didn't want to take him to a rose ceremony seeing he'd been jilted before by a fiance and she didn't want to add to his pain. Nice thought but this kind of jilting only saved Nick the trouble of dressing up with a ring in his pocket. That's all. But this is the nature of the game. One person always leaves broken-hearted. Nick was blind-sighted by Andi's withdrawl of love/feelings and I would've felt really sorry for the guy but...
A month ago I watched a video taken from someone's cell phone during the flight Nick took from the Dominican Republic so I knew that Josh was Andi's choice and Nick would go home devastated. The video was filmed from behind Nick's seat, through the crack, and showed him telling his sister or mom that he'd been cut loose. The video was sent to Reality Steve who released it. During the phone call Nick was understandably upset and said things I'm sure he now regrets. Or should. It seems that the men might have been right about ole Nick. He has a bit of a nasty side, something which was proven on After the Final Rose.

Next, was Josh's proposal at an oceanfront setting with sailboats in the background. Finally, Andi could admit that she is madly in love with Josh and has been for many weeks. Josh's little speech about his feelings for Andi was eloquent and touching. This man LOVES Andi. Of that, we are sure. And now we are sure that Andi loves him. She said so. Yipee! A happy ending.
But not for Nick who wandered around Milwaukee near the Rock Bottom Pub, then flew to Mexico to talk to Andi on vacation with no luck. He even crashed The Men Tell All to talk to Andi but wasn't granted an audience with his almost former fiancee. Poor guy. She wouldn't talk.
Andi might have done better to talk privately with Nick Viall because it was only a matter of minutes before he threw her under the bus on national TV on After the Final Rose.
But before that we cut to the most bleachable moment which heartlessly was the men trash talking Nick and then him arriving back from his date. When silence fell on the bachelor's room for 2 solid minutes, indicating that no one wanted to converse with Nick, it was awkward!
Things got more awkward when they brought out Andi to share the hot seat with Nick and she wore her resting bitch face and refused to look at him. Getting nothing but "I never loved you," Nick was forced to pull out his big gun and revealed the no-no secret. He asked why she took things so far, why they made love. In my dictionary that phrase means one thing but there was still a 1% chance Nick meant heavy canoodling until Andi barked at him that that was private. He said he didn't want to hit below the belt and she countered with "you already did." Game over. Andi's face turned to super bitch and Nick had no hope of compassion after that. Or an explanation of how she could "love" him so much and then not. Goodbye Nick. Adios. A gentleman does not reveal on TV anything about private moments and you proved that you aren't a gentleman. Any sympathy I had for Nick at this point went out the window faster than Neil Lane can fly back to L.A. from the Dominican Republic, having sold only one ring.
Nick was quickly dismissed during a commercial, Josh was brought out, and Andi's smile returned. These two are so cute together! I predict they might even make it to the alter if they can refrain from sexting old lovers. Andi says she wants a long engagement but Josh is ready to walk the aisle and start having children tomorrow. Very cute.
As the closing credits rolled, my hubby reminded me that we still don't know who the next Bachelor is even though earlier the camera cut to Farmer Chris when Michelle Money asked Chris Harrison to reveal. I wonder if Michelle gets extra cash for planting that seed? Farmer Chris looked extremely uncomfortable when the audience waited, which made me think Chris Soules hadn't said yes yet.
Update: I just read that The Bachelor spot is between Ari the race car driver (What?!) and Farmer Chris.
Who has your vote?

In the meantime, aren't Josh and Andi cute together?

Kim Hornsby is the author of THE HUSBAND HUNT, a free novella on Amazon Books available for download that resembles watching a season of The Bachelor. She lives in the Seattle area where she also writes Bestselling novels.

The Bachelorette MenTell All - Cheap Shots for Producers

Last night on The Bachelorette--The Men Tell All the men told very little. The person who did say a lot ( a lot of nothing) was Chris Harrison, aka the producer and mouthpiece for the show.

First off, Ashley and J.P., one of The Bachelorette's only happy couples, took to the stage to talk about her pregnancy.
She's due in October, everyone is thrilled, the pregnancy has been easy, and then Chris introduced the ultra sound machine and goofy-faced technician who proceeded to smear jelly on Ashley's exposed tummy.

The face of Chris Harrison was super-imposed on the giant screen reading of the precious baby, taking this moment to a level that annihilated any chance of sentimentality for the audience. Jokes were exchanged about Chris Harrison being the father and then we moved on.
It's a boy! But the parents knew that months ago and so did we, although everyone acted like it was the first time they'd heard. Okay.



Ash and J.P. are moving to Miami and Chris couldn't resist a jab at Juan Pablo. Will the immature playground bullying never end about his season? Off camera is one thing but come on Chris.

Next, the men came out with scarves, making fun of the whole metrosexual scarf phenomenon on this year's BACH. Funny. Marcus took the stage so Chris could plug Bachelor in Paradise, oh I mean, so Marcus could tear up about Andi not reciprocating his love. I liked Marcus but if rumors are true, he moved on successfully. Then the men talked about Andrew making a racist comment during a rose ceremony. This ammunition was used to take down Andrew on the show and again last night. Chris attacked JJ, the Pantsapreneur, for not seeing fit to deal with this bomb off camera, instead, choosing to crucify Andrew on National TV. I agree racism is ugly and maybe Andrew had it coming but what if he never said that? There were hints that Andrew's job was in jeopardy and I imagine his whole life has taken a beating since he whispered to JJ at the rose ceremony. It was allegedly a racist comment about Ron. Marquel handled it well. He's a cutie and I'm sorry he accepted that date card to Bachelor in Paradise because he'd make a good Bachelor.
The fact that Chris Harrison let the racist discussion go on for so long the way it did was shameful.

Something else that was so smarmy it hurt was the way Chris Harrison kept pimping Bachelor in Paradise.
Marquel took the hot seat to talk about the friend zone. Or did he? Was he really in the hot seat to bring attention to the fact that he's on BIP? Cut to shots of the five other contestants in the audience who were BIP participants--Chris, Michelle, Graham, and Sara. Chris Bukowski, who was eager to romance Andi that first night of The Bachelorette, must have moved on to BIP pretty dang quick. Oh, he wasn't just in L.A. waiting to meet Andi, like he said that first night? Ok. He wanted to take the hot seat but Chris made him go sit down.

Farmer Chris took the hot seat and continued to uphold his credibility as a stand up guy. Even when a planted woman in the audience (supposedly a surprise to Chris Harrison!) spoke out and took the stage to have a speed date and exchange phone numbers with Farmer Chris, the man was respectful and gracious.
Apparently Torontonians who fly to L.A. alone are willing to move to Iowa. Yea, right. This stint was super-cheesey not only because it was stupid but Harrison's acting skills are not good enough to convince us that this was not planned. "You have to be gone before we come back from commercial," he said. Then, we were back, she was still there talking to Farmer Chris and somehow she found a pen and paper to take down a phone number.

Andi came out on stage in the proverbial mini dress that snaked up her thigh and had the ousted men salivating. She did her lawyer-speak about stuff, including not wanting Chris Harrison to read out the lie detector test results from Italy that verified Josh lied about something.

Her stock went up in my books for doing this even though Chris couldn't resist reading the other liars' results. Dylan likes blondes, blah blah blah. By this time I was beginning to lose interest in The Men Tell Nothing, except that they kept pimping BIP and that looks like such a train wreck that my hubby had to wring his hands like Doctor Evil and say he was clearing his calendar for August. This, of course, made me laugh. BIP looks like a crying paradise and I want to know what went on down there in the Mexican jungle to make everyone so dang unhappy.



In conclusion, I'm not sure why I'm so insulted by The Bachelorette show this week. Maybe because I defend it to friends as watch-worthy and when the producers make choices that ask us to accept dumbed-down entertainment, it makes me look stupid. More stupid. The Bachelorette Show is my guilty pleasure, my romantic fairytale and when the show sinks to levels that make me squirm, I get closer to not watching. Does anyone else feel this way because, besides that Canadian woman in hot pants, the audience for The Men Tell All looks pretty intelligent, well-rounded and well-dressed. This leads me to think that others might be insulted at being talked to like a horny teenager.
See you next week!

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt, a free novella on Amazon patterned after The Bachelor. In the first story the host gets the girl and doesn't talk down to his audience.

Andi Dorfman Nixes the Fantasy Suite!

This week I flew to the Dominican Republic to romance three gorgeous men without a care in the world. Oh wait. Not me. Andi.

Last night's episode of The Bachelorette took us south (unless you live in the Southern Hemisphere) to the island of the Dominican Republic. It's the co-joined twin of Haiti in the Caribbean. Took me three tries to spell that last word! Don't ask  me to spell Hispaniola.

Andi pulls her own small suitcase, yea right, along the marble floor to her tropical paradise hotel room and ponders her week with the last three men who have stolen her heart. As I watched her apply makeup in her bathroom mirror, I got a few tips on how to lightly dust my non-existent cheekbones with blush to add a hint of bone structure. Nice.

The first date was with Nick, the man who was awarded the first impression rose way back when, the Software Sales Executive in Chicago and man-mumbler. His earlier tweet told his mother to not let Bella watch the show and hashtagged #fantasysuites so I assumed they'd accept the proverbial key at the end of their date.

First stop, a private island via helicopter, where they picnicked and swam and avoided awkward moments where Nick could not blurt out the three words Andi was hoping to hear. He tried to tell her that he loved her but like a big ole potato stuck in the throat, they wouldn't emerge farther than the larynx. Swim time! My favorite quote on this date was when Andi said "He's got a body on him." Of course I took it literally and giggled in my chair. Everyone has a body on them or they'd just be a head. Did anyone else notice the coral seemed phallic-shaped when they snorkeled? Those clever producers and camera people, planting ideas in our minds.
Nick wrote Andi an adorable book/fairytale about their relationship so far, complete with child-like drawings that I'm pretty sure Bella did when they were on hometowns. It was super-cute and allowed Nick the confidence to pull Andi aside to the shadows, pose against a palm tree and tell her he loves her (with his hands behind his back). They kissed passionately afterwards and headed to the Fantasy Suite to talk and stuff all night. Nick was very child-like on this date--insecure and bashful, which led me to believe they might just have an all-night game of hangman or thumb wars.


Josh, my personal favorite, had the next date and the editors showed lots of talk to the camera shots of her doubting her feelings for the big galloot. Sadly, there was no scarf on this date but Josh was able to be Mr. Fun Guy anyhow dancing in the street with Andi, speaking Spanish to the natives (I was wildly impressed), and even drinking a potion to insure virility. Who wouldn't want to hang with him, potion or not, scarf or not? At a kids' baseball game (not official little league--just normal kids playing baseball on a dusty baseball field), they joined the fun, ran around, mingled with kids and Josh proved himself as a potential great dad. Sitting in the shade afterwards with a giant coconut drink, the two lovebirds talked about parenting. Now, if you've actually had children there's nothing that squashes romance like a talk about parenting but for these two it seemed to up the attraction factor.
At dinner Josh fast-talked in his Elvis voice and did all but propose marriage. He wants this woman to be his forever. He's ready to make this legal, add Andi to the Josh and his dog Sabel family. Andi isn't allowed to talk about her feelings but the evening ended in noisy kissing in the fantasy suite pool. Cut to the full moon, fuzz the focus and fade out.

The next day Andi had a horseback riding date with Chris, the farmer from Iowa. But Andi is as scared of horses as I am and I had to chug a huge glass of wine to calm my jitters as she bounced and trotted and swore her head off down the dusty road. Horses are terrifying! Chris expertly rode beside her. They stopped at a scenic pullout for wine and a quick game of daylight Ghost in the Graveyard. Favorite quote on this date was Chris saying he loved the tractor ride in Iowa where Andi "hopped on my lap and went to town."

At dinner, Andi did not look particularly happy and we wondered if Chris's dirty pants on the riding date had put her off. Someone tell him he has a dirty butt, producers! Andi didn't even get to dinner, wine, or the fantasy suite card before she started to explain to the big farmer that it isn't Iowa that has come between them. No. apparently she can see herself driving that tractor into the sunset with Chris. But she can't make him wait for a rose ceremony for two days, wondering if he's going to spend the rest of his life with the woman he loves. It's not Iowa. It's him. Phew! As Chris realizes that she's dumping him and he needs to leave, he eloquently reassures her that he'll be okay and she walks him out. The date ends before it begins. But Andi, he could move the farm to L.A. (you have to know that Andi is probably not going back to being a D.A. in Atlanta after this.)
Can't Chris play a farmer on a TV show so we can watch him every week? We are grieving today, not for Andi and Chris, who weren't well suited but for ourselves who won't see Chris anymore, except on The Men Tell All. He won't be the next Bachelor. No way. It's corn season.

At the rose ceremony, Andi gave Josh and Nick the roses and explained that Chris was gone as her bright red mumu screamed for a belt and they toasted to themselves. Now there is only Nick and Josh left. Who will she end up with? Social media knows because of Reality Steve and also because Andi has been spotted with the lucky man lately, something she's not supposed to do but for those of you who want to wait two weeks to find out, my lips are sealed. And this blog.
Next week, The Men Tell All.

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt, an Amazon book series based on THE BACHELOR, as well as blogging about the reality show. When she isn't writing, Kim is performing open heart surgery, birthing triplets and keeping a tidy house.

The Bachelorette Producers Sink to a New Low

They couldn't just leave it alone. They had to show the moment Chris Harrison told the remaining cast of The Bachelorette that Eric Hill had died. This is a new low for the show.

I understand that it affected the people on the show, the people running the show and even watching the show, but did they have to use footage of the exact moment and exact facial reactions for teasers to get viewers to stay tuned? If there was still any doubt about how SMARMY this show is sometimes, this locks it in. That's not to say that we won't watch the show anymore because, hey, it's smarmy/fascinating but I wanted to say that I was offended by how they used Eric Hill's death for teasers. Harrison says they thought about how to do it, tell the remaining cast members the terrible news, and felt that bringing everyone to his home would be best.
The only person smart enough to leave the room after the five Bachelorette members got the news that Eric had passed away was Marcus. Andi went outside to bring him back in the room. Then the producers and staff moved in to hug everyone. It seemed real enough and I'm sure the news was shocking. Staff moved from person to person to hug but Nick remained sitting on the couch and yawned when a hairy man tried to hug him from behind. Turn off the damn cameras!
This is my opinion on how they handled things, still trying to do damage control rather than pay a quiet, respectful tribute.

Moving on...

Here's a quick re-cap of last night's show:

Hometowns

The first stop was Milwaukee to reunite with Nick. The excited, boyish version of Nick took Andi to the public market to food-taste, then on to a brewery to drink-taste an ale called "Nick and Andi", then to a bar to learn how to polka. Cute.

The fact that Nick can polka and thinks it's a "Milwaukee Dance" was adorable. Andi was 'down' with the polka, she said. At the family home, armed with a bouquet of flowers, we got to meet Nick's enormous family gathered in front of a portrait gallery of childhood photos. I lost count of siblings at eight. What confused me was his introduction of everyone with their spouses, taking the count over 15. I had another sip of Sauvignon Blanc instead of counting. My favorite sibling was Bella, the 11 year old girl who was such a cutie. I think Andi would be better off with a younger sister than Nick. The mom was freakishly stylish and put together for someone who birthed all those kids. I liked her a huge bunch and Nick's stock went up considerably.

Next stop was Arlington Iowa and farming country to see Chris. Andi loved his checked shirt and vest (?) and was turned on by the fact he owns a nice house, a huge tractor, and hired a plane to fly by their picnic pulling the words "Chris loves Andi". I'm hoping his family uses that verb a bit loosely because I see heartache for this big Iowa farmer. The flat cornfields of Chris's homeland don't seem to be enough for Andi, even though she vowed she hunted with her Dad and wasn't a city girl. (Have you seen how much makeup she wears to hunt bad guys in the slums of Atlanta?) Even Chris's mom later said she loved Andi which melted my heart. In turn, I loved his family who even left the house after dinner to play Ghost in the Graveyard outside with Andi. I wanna live in Iowa now.

On to Josh's hometown--Tampa Florida-- where the Aaron Murray fan club reigns. Aaron this, Aaron that. OMG. Shut up about the brother! Oh, unless this Bachelorette thing was all about the brother being drafted into the NFL. Josh's devotion to his younger sibling was touching and we witnessed another side to the baseball lovin' jock--a side that might involve a good life partner if Andi doesn't have to join the Aaron fan club and get on board the love train for football watching. The mom was nice enough but the whole date was clouded by the family's excitement about the upcoming NFL draft for the little brother. Only Aaron got off topic with Andi and actually talked about his beloved bro Josh. Even though Josh talks like Elvis on speed, I have a new appreciation of the big galoot and his possible feelings for Andi.

Dallas, Texas was the scene for the next hometown visit. Apparently Marcus is German/Polish, raised in Canada but now lives in Texas. This is a wee bit confusing. Andi did a ton of smiling on this date and when Marcus drove her around Dallas pointing out pretty parks, then took her to a bar to strip for her (a la first date,) her smile got bigger. "He's really hot" was heard three times, leading us to believe that Andi meant "I can't think of anything else to say about this embarrassing occurrence." Is hot good husband material? If Marcus is that buffed, how much time does he spend in the gym? Maybe Andi was wondering these things. The family was nice. The mother was a bit stoic, the Fergie-looking sister was pleasant, the older brother was nice and Marcus cried when Andi drove away. His deep feelings for her led me to believe that Marcus's love is genuine. We see Marcus and his bedroom eyes again next month in Bachelor in Paradise so hopefully he gets over his reality show crush.

Back in L.A., they went to Chris Harrison's Bachelor pad to hear the news of Eric Hill's death and they next day the five contestants were back at the mansion for the rose ceremony. It was too soon after bad news to do this elimination. The fact that they allowed Andi to stand up there and cut Marcus after saying to the men that they'd all get through this grieving process together was crass. Boom. Bye Marcus. You won't get through this together. Not you. Not with this group AND you will now have to go through a breakup with the girl you wanted to marry. And, you will walk away knowing she's off to a tropical vacation with fantasy room dates. Good luck with that broken heart. And grieving.

I'm severely disappointed with THE BACHELOR this season. I didn't mind the Juan Pablo season so much. He was fun to watch but this season has had some pretty awful moments. I know the producers are doing damage control for all the fans who didn't like J.P., and now damage control for Andi after kicking Eric Hill off the show, but as a devout fan I'm being asked to watch entertainment that makes me cringe more than I like in an 2-hour show.
Oh, and Bachelor in Paradise is coming up in August and it looks like anything but Paradise with all the tears and backstabbing. Will I watch? Probably. Like slowing down at an accident scene on the highway, I probably will tune in. Dammit.

Kim Hornsby is the author of THE HUSBAND HUNT, a free book on Amazon that resembles a season of The Bachelor. She lives in the Seattle area where she also writes Bestselling novels.

The Bachelorette- What's with the Scarves?

The most complicated part of writing this blog today is that I did not blog the last two episodes and feel like I've let someone down.
I've been busy. I wanted to catch up by writing about the last two shows but now think it's easier to just move on. So I'll simply say that the men remaining on the show after Venice, Italy are Marcus, Nick, Josh, Brian, Chris and Dylan. Only four will go to hometowns. Let's see who.

The group jetted to Belgium next where it looked like you could see your breath. Remember this was April.
First thing I noticed when the men sat around in a group in their Brussels hotel room was that a door to door scarf salesman must've made a killing with this group. Four of the six had trendy scarves knotted fashionably around their necks. I laughed out loud.

The date card singled out Marcus for some wandering around Brussels and eating mussels in a café while Marcus's accent scarf went slightly askew. At dinner, they talked of Marcus's difficult relationship with his mother while eating once again in an ornately gorgeous, historical room. Marcus opened up about his family, admitted he's falling in love and the date ended on a nice note.











The next date card comes and the first name read is Josh. And the last name read is Josh. It's the next one on one. Josh adjusts his scarf and heads off to explore chocolate shops.

Andi snuggled in under the arm of the big hunk who talks too fast to understand. When she asked him questions, words poured from his mouth too quickly for us to hear but that's ok. He says the same thing four different ways in a stream of run on sentences so if you miss the first two sentences, you'll get the gist on the last one. This, along with his declaration that he hasn't dated anyone in years and won't say "I love you" until he's ready to propose makes Josh seem unbelievable.
When she got home and had just let her hair down, Nick knocked at her door, having lied at the hotel front desk to get her room number. After changing into jeans they went for a rule-breaking walk/kissfest outside. Hmmmm.

The group date was weird. They walked onto the property of a monastery and the only rule was no kissing on the grounds. That was weird #1. On the lawn, the four men sat at a coffee table laden with cheese and wine and Andi took them off for some alone time individually. Chris got his time with Andi showing her, a la the movie Ghost, how to throw a pot in a potter's studio. Nick got his alone time but wasn't allowed to kiss, Brian was able to desperately tell her how much she means to him
and Dylan barely got air time even though he'd taken out his hair from the hotel room top knot that some stylist must've told him looked good (or the scarf salesman). Weird date. All they did was sit around that coffee table. As it got dark out there on the lawn, Andi had a rose to give out and handed it to smarmy Nick who none of the men like. He remained to take Andi for dinner, now the only man assured of having a hometown date.

At the rose ceremony Andi arrived in a mirror dress perhaps to remind the men to look back at themselves and their motives for being on the show. Only Chris seems to really want a wife out of this and took her aside at the last minute before the roses were given out to either blow the whistle on Nick or kiss her. He kissed her, she broke it off PDQ and they headed back to eliminate Dylan and Brian, the obvious. Brian moped outside and when he heard laughter in the house, he assumed it was about him. Poor guy.

Next week Andi goes to meet parents and will hopefully find out why Nick is so analytical about this game, I mean this opportunity to meet his wife, why Chris is even on this show if he lives in a town of 758 people and never wants to leave Iowa, why Josh talks so fast, and why Marcus's mother ruled with an iron fist.

These days we don't have to wait to find out who wins, what happens, sometimes even what they eat on dates. Sources report back to a dude who calls himself Reality Steve and he has been divulging what happens in subsequent weeks on his blog since 2009.
 But now the internet is full of reports via this blog. Steve is right 99% of the time. People at restaurants, hotels, even flights, send Steve photos, reports and videos of the men.

Don't continue to read if you want to be surprised in the weeks to come. I give hints.
SPOILER ALERT ahead.

From reading these reports I've learned who wins. I'm not that invested in this season and don't care that much about Andi's happiness, like in the past. So I read ahead to see who she ends up with. I have my favorite for her and it looks like she ends up with him.
I also learned something that really makes me sad that the media can dredge up this information. The man who wins (?) sends more Snapchat photos to his ex-girlfriend (who also dated this man's brother) than Andi in June, a month that they are supposed to be in love, waiting to reveal to the world how happy they are. I hope he has a good reason for his snapchat numbers because there's no way Andi doesn't know this now.
Also, I learned that one man in the last four has dated so many gals around town that when Reality Steve showed up to do a radio program, it turned out the host once dated the contestant. And the internet has a video of the eliminated contestant in the last two phoning someone from his plane ride home after he got booted. He was understandably upset but this call is so revealing that I'm glad Andi didn't end up with him.
And now I feel badly for Andi, even though I'm fully aware that she can take care of herself. It seems like the man she chose has some 'splaining to do about the snapchats.

With life conducted on the internet, phones and through photos that can be shared around the world in a second, nothing is private anymore. Not as long as you have a smartphone and use it.

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt, a free novella on Amazon books that resembles a season of The Bachelor.
She is also the Best Selling author of THE DREAM JUMPER'S PROMISE a love story on Amazon.

The Bachelorette Gets Testy

This week's episode of The Bachelorette had me wondering why I watch this reality show. It can be so stupid sometimes and I know the show is set up to make the most of a potentially dramatic situation, but it seems to be getting more ridiculous. Like a car accident, I can't look away.

The evening started with the crew in Connecticut. Not sure why they ended up at the Mohegan Sun Resort unless Chris Harrison owns a share in the hotel but there they were in chilly March weather, in a dreary geographical setting, at a huge monstrosity of a resort. The men were excited to be in a nice hotel suite which was a good thing because they are sequestered inside the room for days on end, like prisoners. This must be part of the psychological deprivation plan to make the men so appreciative of a date with the Bachelorette that they all think they're falling in love after four weeks. It's working, but more on that later.

The first date was a steam train ride through the countryside with the quiet contender, Dylan. He has a chiseled, handsome face but needs a good haircut. It's distracting to his lovely face.
Turns out the poor man lost both siblings to drugs and is very close to his single mom. There was a heartbreaking story there but Andi didn't pull it out of him. Just let him say his piece and they moved on. The chemistry between the two was about zero as the train moved through the very countryside that Dylan grew up in, passing a river that he and his brother used to swim. Dinner was in a highly lit, camera filled train car and without even touching their food, they moved on to the next surprise of the night. The train whistle. Okay, that wasn't a big surprise seeing they'd already pulled the thing earlier. The whole thing was a bit ho hum except for the squirm-worthy fact that Dylan said it was one of his best dates ever. Sorry Buddy.

                                  Andi gets a love letter from a secret admirer. (NickV? Josh?)

The next date was a group of ten men who suited up to play basketball, first against Andi and some super tall chicks from the WNBA or whatever the women's league is called, then against each other.

This date brought out a side of Andi that I personally do not like. Let's just say, she isn't as sweet as some other bachelorettes. When I say she could eat some of the guys for breakfast, I mean it. Brian, the basketball coach, for one. She liked what she saw on the court but he has no game with girls (his words) and neglected to seize the kiss moment when he later took her on the dimly lit court that night, made a half court basket, impressed the hell out of her and couldn't kiss her. Dude: Be less impressed with yourself than her, then move in for the kiss.



The next date was with Marcus, a Canadian-born front runner, who considers Andi his girlfriend. He obviously has no idea about Nick V. and Andi. On the date, the twosome rappelled down the side of the Mohegan Sun Resort, right past the room of the holed-up men. Both Marcus and Andi were elated to conquer their fear of heights and then dressed up to go to dinner.

Again, nothing was eaten, deep feelings were declared and Andi led Marcus to a concert by one of his favorite country artists, Jon Pardi, where they danced and kissed. Marcus couldn't stop telling her he was falling in love, he loves her, he's crazy about her etc. It got old. Andi smiled. Like the photo below. Lots of that.
They are definitely cute together. Note to Marcus: Hold something back.













At the cocktail party, Andi spoke with several of the guys, Tasos, Marquel
(who is super funny!) and Eric who confronted her about being real. Oh no. Hearing that he thought she was being fake, Andi proceeded to go ape shit on him, blowing his words way out of proportion. She then confronted the men about getting their asses out the door if anyone doesn't think this is real. Well, Andi, I hate to tell you but it isn't real. Have you seen the cameras? The clothes? The settings? Eric was being honest when he said he doesn't usually dress this way. I think the guy just wanted her to admit it's a fake situation but she got all pissy about his words and Eric left the show bewildered.

Because Eric Hill died a month later in a paragliding accident in Utah, the producers of the show decided to forgo the actual rose ceremony and instead let Andi do some damage control with her reputation. If you believed Eric's words about Andi not being real on camera, then you might have found this segment strange. It was a lot of Chris Harrison asking leading questions to allow the Bachelorette to say that she's sorry her last conversation with Eric was a fight. I'm sure she is sorry and that it was shocking when Eric died but I think this segment was smarmy and weird. I can't help but wonder if they felt the need to clear Andi's reputation. Think about it.


Afterwards, I realized that Eric was right, this is not real life, not actual dating, not a great way to look for love, and his last words on the show about that were even more poignant than anyone at that time knew. He called it like he saw it. But, I wanted to see the rose ceremony. I wanted Tasos to have his moment to say goodbye.

On another note, The Bachelor franchise is filming a summer show in Mexico right now with alumni and yes, Chris Bukowski gets on that one. If you don't recognize the name, he's the guy who showed up on Andi's first night with flowers. This guy is desperate to keep his Bachelor star shining and looks like he gets his chance on this soon to be released summer show that is sure to be worse than Bachelor Pad. I'll be watching through my hand over my eyes August 4th. How about you?


Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt, a free novella on Amazon Books that strangely resembles the TV show, The Bachelor. If you like this reality series, download the novella on a Tuesday when you're pining for a new episode!
Kim is the Bestselling Author of The Dream Jumper's Promise, which was nominated for best indie first book and best Paranormal in 2013.Publisher's Weekly calls it a "fascinating and engaging paranormal romance."

 

Calm Before the Storm on THE BACHELORETTE

The drama is just beginning on The Bachelorette and we can't wait to see what's going to happen tonight. Did everyone remember that last night (Sunday) was a special installment? And we get to watch again tonight? As Wayne and Garth said in Wayne's World "we're not worthy."

Last night's episode had Andi heading to Santa Barbara, two hours north of the L.A. mansion, for her dates. The first date was given to Nick V. who isn't classically handsome but is boyishly cute and last night declared he has a crush on Andi. Again, it looks like she could eat this guy for breakfast but seemed charmed by his admission. They hiked around, hugged and kissed a bit, later having dinner on the steps of a courthouse where Nick said "like" twelve times in the same sentence, my daughter announced when she wandered in to the room.

The group date saw the men load into limos bound for Santa Barbara, to do some singing. The opera singer in the group took every on-camera opportunity to hit a few notes and talk about how he'd surely win the group date rose because he was the only one who could sing. Hold your pitch pipe there, Buddy. Don't you watch the show? No one ever gets that rose for talent, only good sportsmanship. Turned out they learned a BoyZ 2 Men song and performed in a public market on stage, crucifying the song "I'll Make Love to You". It was cute, funny and painful to listen to. And the men could not sing to save their lives. Tasos wasn't bad. Is that his name?

But why doesn't Marquel get more airtime? He seems really sweet and I for one would like to hear who he is. Opera Man crucified the song with his operatic style. At the party later, Josh got some kissy kissy time with Andi, declaring his interest in being with her more and was rewarded with the rose. Marcus looked crushed seeing he thinks he's the only one who's kissed her and that they have something way more special than anything she has with anyone else.

Marcus is either going to leave in tears or turn into the stalker of the season. Too bad he's getting so hooked so early.




Then was a one on one date with JJ. The tall/small twosome was transformed into 88 year olds with makeup, hair and costumes and set free in Santa Barbara to roam the boardwalk and parks, asking people to take pictures of them.
Not sure if they fooled anyone but when they began to play football and do cartwheels, I'm sure onlookers wondered what was up. That and the ABC TV cameras following two elderly people on their scooters. It was a cute idea and JJ played along like a pro even though he looked just like Bad Grampa.

Trouble was that without the costume, he was a bit needy and self-depreciating on the date. Andi looked bored. Coming to dinner as a handsome young man would've been JJ's time to wow his date after hanging around all day in liver spots, but instead JJ talked about being a geek. I guess anyone who describes his profession as a Pantstrapreneur is bound to be quirky.

Next the cocktail party. The big drama of the night was when JJ told Josh that Andrew not only got a waitress's phone number recently on a date, but bragged to the car full of men, then proceeded to brag to his bedroom mates about the acquisition. Not cool.
But the funny part was JJ got Josh to do the dirty work after telling him about this. He stood back with drink in hand and let Josh confront the culprit.
Andrew walked away and they followed him through the house with cameras hot on the trail, JJ standing back to let Josh get madder by the minute. Bachelorette producers were probably salivating at this. Finally the drama begins.





When Andi arrived at the party, she took Eric aside for a talk, flowers were delivered couch side and ruined the moment simply because the bouquet was from Nick V., not Eric. A nice touch from Nick but because we now know that Eric leaves the show soon and dies soon after, it was a strange moment to watch. Shortly after, Marcus took Andi aside and they kiss in a doorway, then Andi grabs Nick to thank him for the flowers and they do some kissing. Andi's lips are getting a workout early on this season.
At eliminations, she lets the opera singer and the hairdresser go. Ron has already left due to a mysterious phone call in the driveway that was explained after he packed his things and told the guys he was checking out. A good friend died.



Tonight is another episode and it looks like someone writes a letter to tell Andi of Andrew's smarmy phone number collection and she gets super mad, hurt and shows everyone the door. Can't wait!


Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt, a free novella on Amazon Books that strangely resembles the TV show, The Bachelor. If you like this reality series, download the novella on a Tuesday when you're pining for a new episode!
Kim is the Bestselling Author of The Dream Jumper's Promise, which was nominated for best indie first book and best Paranormal in 2013.Publisher's Weekly calls it a "fascinating and engaging paranormal romance."