Monday, July 29, 2013

The Bachelorette Wants to Quit

The episode of The Bachelorette that we've been waiting for is over and the mystery of who dumped Des has been solved. Brooks is not in crazy love with Des and can't see himself proposing in two weeks.
But first, Drew's date on Antigua, the jewel of the Caribbean. Tucked inside a convertible jeep, the two kissing fools drove, stopped to kiss, drove some more, kissed some more. They ended up at a party (with a view), complete with drinks, souvenirs, limbo, dancing, mid-day picnic and loads more kissing. He's a cutie for sure and Des thinks he's hot. I think if you are not the mother of a teenage boy, Drew is appealing. Just sayin'. The dinner on the beach was cancelled due to torrential rain and the kissers had to proceed directly to the fantasy suite. Drew didn't seem to miss dinner too much at this point. They settled on the rose petal strewn bed to kiss, and kick the cameras out.

Next came Chris from Seattle's date, but by this point we all knew the ding dong ditch guy was Brooks. They gave it away in the opener. We sat on pins and needles waiting to see what would happen. For the next date, Chris and Des got in a helicopter, flew around the islands in the breathtaking beauty of teal, green and white fluffy clouds, and landed on Barbudo beach to have a picnic. If kissing is any indication of love, Chris has his work cut out for him in the Fantasy Suite. But, he and Des are very cute together and I think Chris might have the best sense of humor. He is a definite fan fav at this point too and if the unthinkable happens and he doesn't end up with Des, we just might be seeing more of him on The Bachelor later this year. At dinner he asked if Des could live in Seattle, offering the tidbit that they could get a cute little house on the water. Okay, I live in the Seattle area and that's exactly how my husband got me here but do I now live on the water? Nope. 15 years later, we are happy but not on any body of water. And it rains like crazy pants here from October to June. I was screaming at the T.V. to tell her this, but she ended up saying she could live in Seattle. Yes, indeedy, she could if the love was strong enough. Des and Chris had dinner on the beach while the most annoying birds (or an oil drill) squealed in the background for the entirety of their dinner and then during their fantasy suite tour.
 After loads of locking lips in the hot tub, we left them alone for the night and traveled to Idaho where Brooks was consulting his mom and sis about not being crazy in love with Des. At that point it was written in stone and all that needed to be done was for Brooks and his hair to get to Antigua and break up with the woman who was falling in love with him. He had no idea at this point that she was in love with him. He might've thought that Chris was the one. Or Drew. After a big ole heart to heart with ChrisBHarrison, he met with Des to break her heart in a twenty minute crying fest on the end of a picturesque dock. Was there any woman out there who didn't feel her pain? It brought back baaaaad memories of the same thing happening to me once and remembering that, I built a big wall around my body on my couch, metaphorically speaking. It took another 20 minutes for Brooks to walk down the road. He was so broken up too. Des wouldn't let him go and he wouldn't walk away. He wanted to make it right before he left but didn't he know the formula? You tell them it's over and leave. At that point you can't comfort them. You are the enemy. And didn't we all wonder what his idea of love is if he's missing her so much before he gets in the limo? I think Brooks is too mixed up and hope like crazy that they don't bring  him back next week because he gets second thoughts. That's just a recipe for heartbreak souflee.

Next week Des tells ChrisBHarrison she just wants to go home. She's done. It's over. The gig is up.  If I was Mike Fleiss, THE producer of this show, I'd let her take a day or two, and everyone could re-convene after that. Maybe even fly everyone back to the mansion or a new fancy spot for thinking time, have Des see a counsellor and continue if she thinks there is any hope. Seriously though, I doubt that there is any hope for the other two men after this. I wish I was a fly on the hut when the producers talked about what to do in Antigua. I wonder if Des's contract came out and a lawyer was called. Poor Des. I hope by now she's moved on from Brooks and is in love with Drew or Chris but it was hard to watch. Especially because I have the flu. This episode with so many tears and hugs and hair pulling left me feeling more fluish. At least Des's mascara didn't run.
Now all we have to do is wait another excruciating week to find out what the heck they decide to do.

In the meantime, check out the 2 hour read The Husband Hunt, FREE on Smashwords for download on a reading device or phone. Click here The romance story is based on a reality show much like The Bachelor with roses, a mansion, fantasy dates and house drama.
Kim Hornsby is the author of Amazon Best Selling Novels The Dream Jumper's Promise and Necessary Detour, both available on Amazon for download or print.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Juan Pablo, the next Bachelor!

Update: August 6
Juan Pablo IS the next Bachelor!!! It's official. Women were screaming in delight at the announcement last night on After the Final Rose. Now we just have to wait until January to see what happens in September, October, November with J.P.

blog- from July 26th...

I didn't post Monday night with my take on Men Tell All but that doesn't mean I didn't see Ben look like a cornered Baboon on Monday night on THE BACHELORETTE- The Men Tell All, or watch James dig himself deeper into the "I don't understand commitment" hole. Michael got to prosecute a little more, Zak W got to sing another original song about his feelings, Hashtag Kasey got more airtime than he got on the actual show, the Fantasy Suite guy got to apologize for his misuse of what he thought would be funny,

Anyone else out there believe that Juan Pablo would make a terrific Bachelor? I do. Forget Zack W. or James (bad joke), I lurv Juan Pablo. His name, by the way, is said this way--WhoWawn Pawblow.  Blow a little on the "who" part.

This is my early prediction:
After the Men Tell All episode aired on Monday, I bet the producers of this franchise were considering the possibility of Zack W. as a Bachelor. However, once J.P. took the hot seat, it became apparent that the soccer player from Miami who happens to be a Daddy, is the biggest fan favorite in the history of The Bachelor. It might be the Latin lover thing but he is also a well spoken lovely person, something we did not get to see on Des's Bachelorette season because the producers wrote him off early. Until the tweets started to fly about J.P., I'm pretty sure the Bach powers-that-be had no idea he'd be taken into the bosom of American women everywhere and coddled like the sexy, tight jean-wearing hottie he is. Now we find out he's an interesting person on camera. The blatant omission of airtime for such a unique contender was almost as terrible as Des's impression that he's a Latin hottie. Even on Monday's show, all she could say was "Muy Caliente". It was very inappropriately timed when Des said this after the nation got to see the soft, lovely side of Juan Pablo. The men love him too. He's a definite favorite in the house and I believe he's the full meal deal with Daddyhood being the most important part of his life. Just sayin'. If he didn't go to the Ben school of Fathering, speaks English beautifully and women are intrigued, what are you waiting for Bachelor producers? Have you even looked at him through female eyes?

Here are my thoughts on Monday night, in a nutshell:

Kasey was well spoken but got too much time.
Ben was buried as a daddy on national TV by someone we didn't even know. Boy they sure hated Ben!
James just didn't get it. You don't plan future dates when you 'have a girlfriend'. You weren't in it for Des.
Zack is a sweetheart, a real man. And he can actually sing! (But please stop)
Michael is a prosecutioning player/jerk. He'll ride the Bachelor party train until he has to get off.
Bryden said nothing
Kasey said too much
Juan Pablo for president, I mean the next Bachelor. I believe that one of the reasons they taped early and aired early for Men Tell All, was not only because of what is going down on Monday with Brooks (or Drew) but because they wanted to gauge the public's opinion of both Zack and Juan Pablo to see who to offer the Golden Rose of Bachelorhood to. Filming for that will begin in a few weeks, don't cha know?
Can't wait to see who breaks Des's heart. It won't be pretty but I'm hoping it's Brooks, kinda. He doesn't deserve her love at this point.

Monday, July 15, 2013

The Bachelorette - Still in Love with Brooks

This week was hometowns on the Bachelorette and we all know what that means--wacky families come out of the woodwork to ruin it for their hopeful child.
The first hometown was Zack's in Texas where the two lovebirds drove around in a Kona Snowcone truck and ended up at an elementary school to dish out snow cones to the little kids. Zack dressed up like a penguin, thereby securing the top spot as a wacky fun guy and then took her to meet the most welcoming family ever in the history of The Bachelorette. Everyone was funny, fun, handsome, welcoming, and when the bro and sis stood up at the end to sing a song that Zack wrote, it was the icing on an already 17 layer cake. The cherry on top was Zack professing he loved her and giving her a ring he'd bought when he realized that he was in love with her. I was officially in love with Zack by the next commercial. If he lives near his family, then I'd take him in a heartbeat. Can you spell PERFECT?

The next visit was to Drew's family in Scottsdale AZ. They went to pick up Drew's mentally challenged sister where she lives in a special home and then everyone converged at Drew's mom and Step Dad's house. All was fun and merry, and Des charmed the pants right off the group. That visit couldn't have gone better, including Drew telling her he loved her in a "bold" way, she said. Personally, I just saw him throw it into the conversation but I'm not The Bachelorette.

Then off to Oregon where we hooked up with Chris in a park and ventured on to hit baseballs to see if Des is the girl for him. Turned out she can catch and hit and passed the baseballing test with flying colors. At Chris's house, the parents were warm and fun and wonderful, even though the Dad, who is a chiropractor took Des to the basement to give her an adjustment on her back, then proceeded to adjust Chris's nostrils, treating America to Chris's snot closeup. Eww.
The final visit was Brooks in Utah. They canoed in a park, kind of dancing around each other conversationally and then drove over to someone's house overlooking the mountains in Utah. The large family had nametags on, teased Des and Brooks and were a lovely, welcoming group. No patriarch but lots of siblings. When Brooks kissed her goodbye, he was just starting to warm up to the idea that he really likes Des. Little does he know that everyone else is falling all over themselves in love while he isn't quite sure.

Des's brother Nate arrived in Los Angeles where the show ended up at the Beverly Hills Hotel and proceeded to creep us out with his strange threats. Des pretty much begged him to leave the guys alone if he intends to be on the family meeting date and he backed off slightly, saying he'd be mindful of her feelings and that the only reason he ruined it with Sean last time was that he knew better than her, that it wasn't a good match. He's a loose cannon for sure. Can't wait.
Again, Chris Harrison questioned Des about declaring Brooks the favorite and again, The Bachelorette voiced that she's hoping his feelings grow in the next few weeks. Chris is a close second after hometowns, in spite of the back adjustment, and that left Zack and Drew in the bottom two.
At the rose ceremony, Des cut Zack with the abs, and the fun, and the only manly one of the bunch. The others, I'm pretty sure all have pedicures. But then Zack got pretty choked up and had a lot to say in the limo, proving that he's not only manly but sensitive. Apparently he can't find a girl to love him. I'm gonna bet he watched tonight's show with a woman curled beside him or if he didn't I'll bet he'll be watching next week with a girlfriend. He's a nice man, with a great family and studly to boot. And has had national coverage.
Next week is Bachelor Tells All (kind of out of sync for the usual way it's done) and two weeks from now, I believe Drew announces something and leaves. Or Brooks. Des looks pretty broken up about something and threatens to leave the show. She's wearing the outfit from her date with Brooks if that gives anyone a hint.
Checking my calendar now to make sure I've cleared the next three Mondays. How about you? For a show that started out slow, it's gaining speed for a nice run to the finish. Who's your money on?

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt an Amazon short story book series modeled after The Bachelor.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

The Bachelorette Could End Right Now

This week the group that remains on this year's Bachelorette flew to Madeira (off Spain) and professed it the most romantic place in the world. If you don't fall in love here, there's something wrong with you, apparently.
But at the end of the show we heard that The Bachelorette is in love with one lucky guy and Chris Harrison asked if it's over this early. Should they stop now?
Desiree answered that she wanted to keep an open mind and to continue.
Here's what happened:
With only five men left, the group of six cruised around Madeira's coast aboard a schooner, laughing, talking, oo'ing and ah'ing then checked in to their hotel rooms overlooking a spectacular view of the ocean, pool, and red tiled buildings. Every view is a postcard in itself.
Brookes got the first date and aside from being the worst dresser in the group, he looks like a sweet man. A tan suites him. Desiree REALLY likes him. They had a wonderful drive up to the clouds, did some talkin' and drinkin' and admitted they are on cloud 9 with each other. Turns out Des more than Brookes. She's one beat shy of being in love and Brookes likes her a whole lot.
The next date was with Chris who now reminds me of Adam Levine and looks like the best one of the bunch. He's funny, charming, cute and Des seems to really like him a whole lot. They took a yacht to a rocky island and enjoyed a picnic among the wildflowers, but if they don't stop writing cheesey poetry, I'm going to have to change the channel. Oh wait. They aren't writing it for me and as long as they keep their stanza's amongst themselves, I'm okay. They co-wrote a poem, put it in a a bottle and threw it in the ocean. Cute.
The next day was with Michael, the prosecutor who doesn't stop talking long enough for us to see if he has any personality.  This was his first one on one with Des and is so far behind, I"m not sure anyone could catch up at this point. The town looked fabulous, quaint, fun, and the date was spent wandering the town. To his credit, Michael is a good dresser and is actually kind of cute but his social skills need some work. They might have edited it this way, but Des looked very bored on the date, while he talked a lot.
The last date of the night was a two on one with Zak and Drew (who has arm muscles I am now officially in love with). His face is pretty cute too. Well, let's face it, Drew is absolutely boy next door handsome/gorgeous and I'm not thinking he's not gay-ish anymore. He's a cutie pie but maybe too young for Des. Watching his arm muscles as he was kissing her was the highlight of my night. Drew is cute. Apparently Des thinks so too and gave him the rose, even though no one was going home on this two on one date. Zak was sad and confused even though he won the race track competition.
The trouble at this point is that all the men think they have a special connection with Des and aren't even considering that she has this going with all of them. They aren't considering that at least 4 of them have Des's attention. They are assuming they have the best connection with Des, over the rest. All except Brookes, who Des probably likes the most. Funny huh?
At the rose ceremony, Des wore a stunning aqua backless dress and stilletos and looked like a million bucks. She is such a photogenic gal with a sweet smile. While talking to Chris Harrison who apparently flies all over the world at the end of the week for 5 minutes on the air, Des admitted that she's in love with Brookes. This is something I've never seen before on this show-- calling the winner so early. But she also said that Brookes did not feel the same way and Chris from Seattle was basically a close second.
So, next week is hometowns which is always fun and bizarre and it looks like in two weeks Des is heartbroken and I am now thinking it's Brookes who leaves because he's just not in love. If wrinkled clothes and ugly cardigans are any indication of lack of interest, I might be wrong in calling the winner early. The Orlando Bloom/Russell Brand lookalike may not stick it out, after all.
What do you think? Next week has loads of kooky in law potential AND an added bonus in Des's brother, who marches to his own drummer and lurks in the shadows of the hotel's lobby. Can't wait.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Tears Flow on The Bachelorette

Last night the tears flowed on The Bachelorette, not only from Des who can't take all the ulterior motives and playing for the camera amongst the men, but from James the wide as he is tall contestant who had the Red Cross date in Jersey.
But I am getting ahead of myself here. When the show opened they were in Barcelona Spain and the first date was a one on one with Drew, the boyish blonde who is quietly falling in love with Des. They explored Barcelona, ordered hot cocoa and got whipped cream mustaches (which Drew kissed off!--a bold move) and couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other. When the two love birds sat down to dinner, Drew grabbed her hand and they ran away from the cameras to neck out in the alleyway only to have the film crew catch up with their 1,000 watt light bulbs and film the whole thing. I was shocked that Drew had it in him. Shocked. Once he got her all hot and steamed up, he threw a pail of water on the scene by telling her about James' ulterior motive to be the next Bachelor if she doesn't pick him as her husband. Wow Drew! Couldn't you have waited until you ate dinner?
Needless to say that was the end of the date. Des was heartbroken but rallied for the soccer group date the next day.
I was drooling to see Juan Pablo play soccer and we got a bit of the Spanish hunk but not nearly enough. He's one of the truly manly men and I think the Bachelorette producers did a great injustice to not feature him more on camera. According to tweets, women love Juan Pablo. It was the girls against the guys at the Barcelona stadium and after the girls whupped some bachelor butt they had a party. Des took Chris to her bedroom to read poetry, thereby securing the fact that Chris is a front runner, while the rest of the men confront James about his motives on the show. What??? Michael played attorney while James played guilty and Kasey was the star witness. By the time Chris and Des got back all hell had broken loose and the party was over except for Des talking to James. Again. Just let the smooth talking charmer go! She either really likes him or won't admit that someone is not there for her. James talked his way out of elimination and returned with the men for another sleep in Barcelona. Awkward!
The next date was meant to be a break from all the drama of James and that it was with Zak the ab guy who drills for oil. If this isn't a metaphor... They have a drawing lesson and the result is drawing portraits of each other which ends up with hilarity at Zach's horrific depiction of Des. I laughed out loud. How about you? It was genuinely funny and even Des dropped to the art school floor laughing. I like Zach, even though he loves to show off his six pack. Their dinner was just the right amount of fun and romance and of course he got his rose.
Back at the hotel, James confronted Drew and there was lots of swearing and shouting and I'm beginning to wonder if the guys don't like James. Shut up already and go home!
James squeezed in between two guys on the couch and was instantly taken to the naughty room to talk, yet again. Des and James cry, hug, worry and he's sent off to endure the rose ceremony where he is eliminated along with Juan Pablo!! What was Des thinking, not even getting a kiss out of the handsome single dad/soccer player?
Michael the whiny attorney got the surprise rose and now we're down to a small amount of men with no one to fight about. What will they do?
Previews for next week show that Drew has a secret and I'm betting it has something to do with being a metrosexual. They venture to Madeira and it looks like the drama follows, Des threatens to quit and the men who are there for the right reasons (to write poetry, to let hair grow longer, to show off abs and practice prosecution skills) get all 'deer caught in headlights' and have to endure more tears.
Good stuff! See you next week...

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt series on Amazon books patterned after The Bachelor.