Saturday, June 25, 2016

Jo Jo Tosses Bad Chad!

I'm feeling guilty and inadequate about not reporting in on The Bachelorette yet when I have so many readers asking me where's my blog. So here goes:

I loke Jo Jo (between love and like) She is a great Bach so far. Wears cute clothes, admits that guys are sexy hot, treats the guys well without making it seem like a harem, and has kept the hair twirling to a minimum, thank God! She also had the good sense to cut Bad Chad loose even though he made GREAT TV and was the man we loved to hate.

On Monday we got to see Bad Chad hike up to the house in the woods, scrape his nails down the glass door and wait to be let in so he could start yet another confrontation with the boys, I mean men. Chad needs to join a friendship club to learn some social skills. That or have one ball removed. He's too much! Why are the jerkiest guys so very handsome??? Why? If Chad had what I think is Derek's personality...

So Chad says that Alex (the stocky Marine) lied about him. "Now I have to go find Alex," he said. Chad, if you're reading this, please remember that if Alex turns up dead, you are the #1 suspect. Like Elsa sang in FROZEN, Let it go, let it go!
Marine Alex
Alex returns a hero and gets a cake in his face for his efforts to expel Chad. He also gets a swollen head and his nice guy demeanor is seen flying off in the PA breeze.
At the rose ceremony, Robby is metrosexually groomed, James F reads a sweet poem, Jordan has her up against the wall with kissing, and Derek still reminds me of Jim on The Office.
The Canadian heads home before he can embarrass us Canucks any more with his posturing and eh'ing all over the place. Also, James from Nashville who wrote the poem, is cut loose. WTF?? I liked him. He must've said or done something we didn't know about. Poor James!

They head to the airport and board a tiny cartoon plane to Uruguay, land of ocean and goats, it seems. I don't know about you but Uruguay was not shown in a light that made me ever want to go there. Rain, modern ugly hotel, goats (again). Someone said they had a 360 degree of the ocean from the men's suite and I'm thinking that guy needs to go back to sixth grade math. Unless the suite was on an island, they did not have that many degrees.
Jordan gets the one on one. He's a contender and definitely has Jo Jo's interest. He might be too much too fast though and that's usually the kiss of death in the game. While they swim with seals in heavy wetsuits and kiss some more, Vinny opens his own barbershop at the men's suite and even has the latest tabloid that tells of Jo Jo being involved with her old boyfriend before the show started. The guys don't understand how tabloids work (and pay!) and some believe their collective girlfriend isn't there for the right reasons. Many are upset. Remember, these guys have NOTHING to do all day but talk to each other so I'm cutting them a bit of slack. They have Stockholm Syndrome for Jo Jo.
The group date involves sand surfing until it starts to rain, then they all clean up and go for cocktails. Evan has avoided a bloody nose so far. Derek admits he's smitten, is having a tough time with no attention from Jo Jo and gets the rose, something the men find hateful. An imaginary target is drawn on Derek's back by some.
Robby gets the second one on one date and they jump off a cliff into the ocean, swim, kiss, and go to town, literally. He's a contender for Jo Jo's hand. Man, some of these guys have a lot of hair! I can't imagine the hair products in their bathrooms. Robby's date moves to a picturesque farm where it's either raining or going to rain. I believe there are goats involved.
At this point, my notes stop, either because I lost my pen or I got up to get a glass of wine and lost interest in taking notes.
What I can tell you is that Derek is a new target and the guys don't like him particularly. He's quiet, but not mean or nasty so I don't know what the big deal is. Derek takes the guys outside at the next rose ceremony to talk to them but it turns kinda sideways proving that young men can be just as catty as young women when there is a mating dance involved.

At the ceremony, Jo Jo sends home Evan, the nosebleeder, Vinny the barber and Grant. Remind me who Grant is again? Oh yes, the hunky fireman. Why him? Oh well. It's not the rest of MY life she's choosing for. Evan had the absolute best exit speech EVER! Check out my twitter to see it.

That's it for now. Apologies for the typos. These blogs usually take about 2-3 hours and this took 20 minutes. More next week!

Kim Hornsby is a Bestselling Author of Suspense and Romance who lives in the Seattle area and personally knows a Bachelor alumni. Her opinions are her own and not those of the dogs lying at her feet begging for treats.
Find her books on Amazon, including The Husband Hunt, a novella strangely similar to a season of The Bachelor.

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