Friday, May 30, 2014

The Bachelorette Deflects the Drunk Guy and more!

November 24,2014 Update
There are no photos in this blog because a photo used from the internet belonged to someone who asked me to take it down. Not sure which photo they were referring to, I decided to remove all pictures from this blog.

This season's The Bachelorette has begun and although I vowed to not watch because Andi was downright mean-spirited on national TV to Juan Pablo, I'm watching. Of course, I'm watching. As stupid as this show looks on paper, it fulfills something in me and I look forward to Monday night like it's my only form of happiness all week. (which it isn't if you're now feeling sorry for me)

Andi Dorfman took a leave of absence from her DA job in Atlanta (What??) to be the next Bachelorette. One clue that this is a good transition is how much makeup and the high heels she wore to ghetto areas where she tromped through overgrown yards to catch criminals.

Despite the odds, this lawyer really believes that she might find eternal love on the show. With a closet full of cute clothes and advice from her sister, Andi began her stint on the show in a gorgeous gown of jeweled opulence. The first order of business was greeting 25 men at the mansion's hosed-down driveway. Some of the men were bordering on goofy, some quite nervous and most very handsome. This Bachelorette differs from all other ladies who wore the Bachelorette shoes in that she's quick witted, has snappy repartee and speaks well under pressure. The exchanges with the men who emerged from the limo were cute, fun and interesting. What made Andi go on and on and on about what she hated about Juan Pablo is the very thing that makes her different. She's wordy and well spoken. Not like Kelly Clarkson's I can't stop talking, sort of way. Andi is funny and her choice of words and phrases are clever.
Inside the mansion, she toasted her bevvy of men who were fawning over the highly made up, bejeweled woman like she was the only gorgeous creature in the room. Oh, she was. So naturally they are all lusting after her like hungry lions fighting over a potential mate. The front runners on that first night seemed to be Nick, one of 11 children,

a guy who doesn't seem that special on camera but got the first impression rose, the handsome basketball player, Josh, who doesn't want to be stereotyped, a quiet man named Marcus, of German descent with piercing blue eyes, Eric Hill, who we now know died in a paragliding accident a month ago, Marquel, a devilishly handsome and well-spoken man with a penchant for colorful clothing and Chris, a gentle farmer from Iowa.

Andi eliminates all the men with long hair in the first rose ceremony even though one of them is a doctor and then she moves on to the remaining contestants. Although she lets the guy go who introduced himself as Anal with an m, she keeps the muscular Macklemore lookalike and the goofy goofball puppy doggish boyman Craig who turns out to be the honorary drunkard on the group date days later.

Party crasher...Anyone remember Chris on Emily's season who later went on to Bachelor Pad? I never liked him but now I like him less. He flew out to L.A. lurking around, waiting for Andi's first night and showed up at the rose ceremony with roses, hoping to be on the show. Andi sent him packing via Chris Harrison and he looked genuinely upset like his stalker behavior might be received differently. Didn't Chris see others try this on previous shows? It never ends well. Just wait six months Chris, until you see a newly single Andi at a Bachelor alumni party in Los Angeles and you can hit on her then.

The first date was a one on one with Eric Hill, a handsome adventurer who playfully captures Andi's interest first by making sand castles on the beach with her and then snowboarding at Big Bear only an hour later. You can't watch this part of the show without feeling sad that this vibrant young man is no longer on this earth. He was a lovely person but as his sister said, he died doing what he loved. Adventuring. According to what I read, his crash was very sudden and he died instantly.
The group date involved just about everyone else. The Bachelor producers disguised a Chippendales type display of beefcake behind a charity fundraiser, giving the viewers an embarrassing view of the men's bodies and ability to show them off. Sharleen and Kelly arrived to sit with Andi in the audience while the men danced for charity. Yea, right. Shame on the producers again! Last season Andi practically posed naked with Juan Pablo to save dogs and now the men are asked to strip to speedos and dance provocatively for some other charity. Although it was almost entertaining in a cringe-worthy way, the smarminess didn't go unnoticed by this viewer and I'm mad at the producers for doing this. Like when they made the one-armed girl roller skate. Shame on them.
The group date was cut short when Craig, the token drunk in the group, had too much to drink and ruined everything. Why they didn't just cart him off and continue on, is beyond me. Come on Andi, use your lawyer savvy and charge him with something and send him to Bachelor Jail to sober up.
The next one on one date was with Chris the sweet Iowa farmer. He was charming but maybe gave away a little too much on the first date. This girl is citified, savvy and smart and capable of eating guys for breakfast.

At the rose ceremony she got rid of Craig the drunk, in spite of the fact he sang her a terrible song he wrote to apologize. She also let the fireman, Carl, go which I thought was a bad idea. He was quiet but kinda handsome and intriguing.
First kiss I believe was with Josh the basketball player with the big smile. Did we hear that he has a girlfriend? Is that coming up in a tearful episode?
Sunday is the next installment. And Monday. Lucky us! Apparently Eric Hill leaves suddenly and the men aren't sure what happened.
The Bachelorette is back and filling up Monday nights! Phew!

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt, a free novella on Amazon Books that strangely resembles the TV show, The Bachelor. If you like this reality series, download the novella on a Tuesday when you're pining for a new episode!
Kim is the Bestselling Author of The Dream Jumper's Promise, which was nominated for best indie first book and best Paranormal in 2013.Publisher's Weekly calls it a "fascinating and engaging paranormal romance."

Friday, May 9, 2014

Just Spewing...

I am almost too busy to blog and that's saying a lot because I love to spew on here, imagining that no one reads this, and no one really cares.
Why have I not been blogging?

1. I'm trying to find a college for my son who is a junior, also a phenomenal soccer goalkeeper. I've been told I'm too late for Division 1 but might still get him in to Div II.

2. I published the 2nd book in the Dream Jumper Series and am taking a break from writing, editing, rewording, formatting, worrying. THE DREAM JUMPER'S SECRET is doing well and free until the end of May 9th.

3. I published a Cookbook with my imprint Top Ten Press. It took about 40 woman hours to do the book and I'm really hoping karma catches up with me or it gets us authors some business! Sweet & Savory Cookbook. If not, it's just plain hilarious to say I published a cookbook because I'm not known as an amazing cook.

4. I'm getting ready to go to England next week for 12 days to finally meet the young man who used to be our sponsored child from Romania. He's now a chef in London and although we've written back and forth for years and now Skype call all the time, I've never seen him face to face. It will be marvelous to spend days on end with this fine young man and my dear friend Lynn.
This is Marian........................................................

Update: This is us in England

5. I'm organizing a soccer team car wash for tomorrow and have to coordinate 15 boys and parents to make washing cars in the Seattle rain sound like the funnest thing ever!

I'll try to blog from England but my computer time will be limited. Like me on Facebook and you'll see my trip there.

#FREE Today - The Dream Jumper's Secret
#99c The Dream Jumper's Promise
#FREE Today - KDP FREE Days Guidebook
#FREE until May 11 - Sweet & Savory Cookbook

Top Ten Press is on FIRE!!!! Lots of great deals.

Over & Out!