The Bachelorette MenTell All - Cheap Shots for Producers

Last night on The Bachelorette--The Men Tell All the men told very little. The person who did say a lot ( a lot of nothing) was Chris Harrison, aka the producer and mouthpiece for the show.

First off, Ashley and J.P., one of The Bachelorette's only happy couples, took to the stage to talk about her pregnancy.
She's due in October, everyone is thrilled, the pregnancy has been easy, and then Chris introduced the ultra sound machine and goofy-faced technician who proceeded to smear jelly on Ashley's exposed tummy.

The face of Chris Harrison was super-imposed on the giant screen reading of the precious baby, taking this moment to a level that annihilated any chance of sentimentality for the audience. Jokes were exchanged about Chris Harrison being the father and then we moved on.
It's a boy! But the parents knew that months ago and so did we, although everyone acted like it was the first time they'd heard. Okay.



Ash and J.P. are moving to Miami and Chris couldn't resist a jab at Juan Pablo. Will the immature playground bullying never end about his season? Off camera is one thing but come on Chris.

Next, the men came out with scarves, making fun of the whole metrosexual scarf phenomenon on this year's BACH. Funny. Marcus took the stage so Chris could plug Bachelor in Paradise, oh I mean, so Marcus could tear up about Andi not reciprocating his love. I liked Marcus but if rumors are true, he moved on successfully. Then the men talked about Andrew making a racist comment during a rose ceremony. This ammunition was used to take down Andrew on the show and again last night. Chris attacked JJ, the Pantsapreneur, for not seeing fit to deal with this bomb off camera, instead, choosing to crucify Andrew on National TV. I agree racism is ugly and maybe Andrew had it coming but what if he never said that? There were hints that Andrew's job was in jeopardy and I imagine his whole life has taken a beating since he whispered to JJ at the rose ceremony. It was allegedly a racist comment about Ron. Marquel handled it well. He's a cutie and I'm sorry he accepted that date card to Bachelor in Paradise because he'd make a good Bachelor.
The fact that Chris Harrison let the racist discussion go on for so long the way it did was shameful.

Something else that was so smarmy it hurt was the way Chris Harrison kept pimping Bachelor in Paradise.
Marquel took the hot seat to talk about the friend zone. Or did he? Was he really in the hot seat to bring attention to the fact that he's on BIP? Cut to shots of the five other contestants in the audience who were BIP participants--Chris, Michelle, Graham, and Sara. Chris Bukowski, who was eager to romance Andi that first night of The Bachelorette, must have moved on to BIP pretty dang quick. Oh, he wasn't just in L.A. waiting to meet Andi, like he said that first night? Ok. He wanted to take the hot seat but Chris made him go sit down.

Farmer Chris took the hot seat and continued to uphold his credibility as a stand up guy. Even when a planted woman in the audience (supposedly a surprise to Chris Harrison!) spoke out and took the stage to have a speed date and exchange phone numbers with Farmer Chris, the man was respectful and gracious.
Apparently Torontonians who fly to L.A. alone are willing to move to Iowa. Yea, right. This stint was super-cheesey not only because it was stupid but Harrison's acting skills are not good enough to convince us that this was not planned. "You have to be gone before we come back from commercial," he said. Then, we were back, she was still there talking to Farmer Chris and somehow she found a pen and paper to take down a phone number.

Andi came out on stage in the proverbial mini dress that snaked up her thigh and had the ousted men salivating. She did her lawyer-speak about stuff, including not wanting Chris Harrison to read out the lie detector test results from Italy that verified Josh lied about something.

Her stock went up in my books for doing this even though Chris couldn't resist reading the other liars' results. Dylan likes blondes, blah blah blah. By this time I was beginning to lose interest in The Men Tell Nothing, except that they kept pimping BIP and that looks like such a train wreck that my hubby had to wring his hands like Doctor Evil and say he was clearing his calendar for August. This, of course, made me laugh. BIP looks like a crying paradise and I want to know what went on down there in the Mexican jungle to make everyone so dang unhappy.



In conclusion, I'm not sure why I'm so insulted by The Bachelorette show this week. Maybe because I defend it to friends as watch-worthy and when the producers make choices that ask us to accept dumbed-down entertainment, it makes me look stupid. More stupid. The Bachelorette Show is my guilty pleasure, my romantic fairytale and when the show sinks to levels that make me squirm, I get closer to not watching. Does anyone else feel this way because, besides that Canadian woman in hot pants, the audience for The Men Tell All looks pretty intelligent, well-rounded and well-dressed. This leads me to think that others might be insulted at being talked to like a horny teenager.
See you next week!

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt, a free novella on Amazon patterned after The Bachelor. In the first story the host gets the girl and doesn't talk down to his audience.

The Bachelorette- What's with the Scarves?

The most complicated part of writing this blog today is that I did not blog the last two episodes and feel like I've let someone down.
I've been busy. I wanted to catch up by writing about the last two shows but now think it's easier to just move on. So I'll simply say that the men remaining on the show after Venice, Italy are Marcus, Nick, Josh, Brian, Chris and Dylan. Only four will go to hometowns. Let's see who.

The group jetted to Belgium next where it looked like you could see your breath. Remember this was April.
First thing I noticed when the men sat around in a group in their Brussels hotel room was that a door to door scarf salesman must've made a killing with this group. Four of the six had trendy scarves knotted fashionably around their necks. I laughed out loud.

The date card singled out Marcus for some wandering around Brussels and eating mussels in a café while Marcus's accent scarf went slightly askew. At dinner, they talked of Marcus's difficult relationship with his mother while eating once again in an ornately gorgeous, historical room. Marcus opened up about his family, admitted he's falling in love and the date ended on a nice note.











The next date card comes and the first name read is Josh. And the last name read is Josh. It's the next one on one. Josh adjusts his scarf and heads off to explore chocolate shops.

Andi snuggled in under the arm of the big hunk who talks too fast to understand. When she asked him questions, words poured from his mouth too quickly for us to hear but that's ok. He says the same thing four different ways in a stream of run on sentences so if you miss the first two sentences, you'll get the gist on the last one. This, along with his declaration that he hasn't dated anyone in years and won't say "I love you" until he's ready to propose makes Josh seem unbelievable.
When she got home and had just let her hair down, Nick knocked at her door, having lied at the hotel front desk to get her room number. After changing into jeans they went for a rule-breaking walk/kissfest outside. Hmmmm.

The group date was weird. They walked onto the property of a monastery and the only rule was no kissing on the grounds. That was weird #1. On the lawn, the four men sat at a coffee table laden with cheese and wine and Andi took them off for some alone time individually. Chris got his time with Andi showing her, a la the movie Ghost, how to throw a pot in a potter's studio. Nick got his alone time but wasn't allowed to kiss, Brian was able to desperately tell her how much she means to him
and Dylan barely got air time even though he'd taken out his hair from the hotel room top knot that some stylist must've told him looked good (or the scarf salesman). Weird date. All they did was sit around that coffee table. As it got dark out there on the lawn, Andi had a rose to give out and handed it to smarmy Nick who none of the men like. He remained to take Andi for dinner, now the only man assured of having a hometown date.

At the rose ceremony Andi arrived in a mirror dress perhaps to remind the men to look back at themselves and their motives for being on the show. Only Chris seems to really want a wife out of this and took her aside at the last minute before the roses were given out to either blow the whistle on Nick or kiss her. He kissed her, she broke it off PDQ and they headed back to eliminate Dylan and Brian, the obvious. Brian moped outside and when he heard laughter in the house, he assumed it was about him. Poor guy.

Next week Andi goes to meet parents and will hopefully find out why Nick is so analytical about this game, I mean this opportunity to meet his wife, why Chris is even on this show if he lives in a town of 758 people and never wants to leave Iowa, why Josh talks so fast, and why Marcus's mother ruled with an iron fist.

These days we don't have to wait to find out who wins, what happens, sometimes even what they eat on dates. Sources report back to a dude who calls himself Reality Steve and he has been divulging what happens in subsequent weeks on his blog since 2009.
 But now the internet is full of reports via this blog. Steve is right 99% of the time. People at restaurants, hotels, even flights, send Steve photos, reports and videos of the men.

Don't continue to read if you want to be surprised in the weeks to come. I give hints.
SPOILER ALERT ahead.

From reading these reports I've learned who wins. I'm not that invested in this season and don't care that much about Andi's happiness, like in the past. So I read ahead to see who she ends up with. I have my favorite for her and it looks like she ends up with him.
I also learned something that really makes me sad that the media can dredge up this information. The man who wins (?) sends more Snapchat photos to his ex-girlfriend (who also dated this man's brother) than Andi in June, a month that they are supposed to be in love, waiting to reveal to the world how happy they are. I hope he has a good reason for his snapchat numbers because there's no way Andi doesn't know this now.
Also, I learned that one man in the last four has dated so many gals around town that when Reality Steve showed up to do a radio program, it turned out the host once dated the contestant. And the internet has a video of the eliminated contestant in the last two phoning someone from his plane ride home after he got booted. He was understandably upset but this call is so revealing that I'm glad Andi didn't end up with him.
And now I feel badly for Andi, even though I'm fully aware that she can take care of herself. It seems like the man she chose has some 'splaining to do about the snapchats.

With life conducted on the internet, phones and through photos that can be shared around the world in a second, nothing is private anymore. Not as long as you have a smartphone and use it.

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt, a free novella on Amazon books that resembles a season of The Bachelor.
She is also the Best Selling author of THE DREAM JUMPER'S PROMISE a love story on Amazon.

The Bachelorette Deflects the Drunk Guy and more!

November 24,2014 Update
There are no photos in this blog because a photo used from the internet belonged to someone who asked me to take it down. Not sure which photo they were referring to, I decided to remove all pictures from this blog.


This season's The Bachelorette has begun and although I vowed to not watch because Andi was downright mean-spirited on national TV to Juan Pablo, I'm watching. Of course, I'm watching. As stupid as this show looks on paper, it fulfills something in me and I look forward to Monday night like it's my only form of happiness all week. (which it isn't if you're now feeling sorry for me)

Andi Dorfman took a leave of absence from her DA job in Atlanta (What??) to be the next Bachelorette. One clue that this is a good transition is how much makeup and the high heels she wore to ghetto areas where she tromped through overgrown yards to catch criminals.



Despite the odds, this lawyer really believes that she might find eternal love on the show. With a closet full of cute clothes and advice from her sister, Andi began her stint on the show in a gorgeous gown of jeweled opulence. The first order of business was greeting 25 men at the mansion's hosed-down driveway. Some of the men were bordering on goofy, some quite nervous and most very handsome. This Bachelorette differs from all other ladies who wore the Bachelorette shoes in that she's quick witted, has snappy repartee and speaks well under pressure. The exchanges with the men who emerged from the limo were cute, fun and interesting. What made Andi go on and on and on about what she hated about Juan Pablo is the very thing that makes her different. She's wordy and well spoken. Not like Kelly Clarkson's I can't stop talking, sort of way. Andi is funny and her choice of words and phrases are clever.
Inside the mansion, she toasted her bevvy of men who were fawning over the highly made up, bejeweled woman like she was the only gorgeous creature in the room. Oh, she was. So naturally they are all lusting after her like hungry lions fighting over a potential mate. The front runners on that first night seemed to be Nick, one of 11 children,

a guy who doesn't seem that special on camera but got the first impression rose, the handsome basketball player, Josh, who doesn't want to be stereotyped, a quiet man named Marcus, of German descent with piercing blue eyes, Eric Hill, who we now know died in a paragliding accident a month ago, Marquel, a devilishly handsome and well-spoken man with a penchant for colorful clothing and Chris, a gentle farmer from Iowa.

Andi eliminates all the men with long hair in the first rose ceremony even though one of them is a doctor and then she moves on to the remaining contestants. Although she lets the guy go who introduced himself as Anal with an m, she keeps the muscular Macklemore lookalike and the goofy goofball puppy doggish boyman Craig who turns out to be the honorary drunkard on the group date days later.







Party crasher...Anyone remember Chris on Emily's season who later went on to Bachelor Pad? I never liked him but now I like him less. He flew out to L.A. lurking around, waiting for Andi's first night and showed up at the rose ceremony with roses, hoping to be on the show. Andi sent him packing via Chris Harrison and he looked genuinely upset like his stalker behavior might be received differently. Didn't Chris see others try this on previous shows? It never ends well. Just wait six months Chris, until you see a newly single Andi at a Bachelor alumni party in Los Angeles and you can hit on her then.

The first date was a one on one with Eric Hill, a handsome adventurer who playfully captures Andi's interest first by making sand castles on the beach with her and then snowboarding at Big Bear only an hour later. You can't watch this part of the show without feeling sad that this vibrant young man is no longer on this earth. He was a lovely person but as his sister said, he died doing what he loved. Adventuring. According to what I read, his crash was very sudden and he died instantly.
The group date involved just about everyone else. The Bachelor producers disguised a Chippendales type display of beefcake behind a charity fundraiser, giving the viewers an embarrassing view of the men's bodies and ability to show them off. Sharleen and Kelly arrived to sit with Andi in the audience while the men danced for charity. Yea, right. Shame on the producers again! Last season Andi practically posed naked with Juan Pablo to save dogs and now the men are asked to strip to speedos and dance provocatively for some other charity. Although it was almost entertaining in a cringe-worthy way, the smarminess didn't go unnoticed by this viewer and I'm mad at the producers for doing this. Like when they made the one-armed girl roller skate. Shame on them.
The group date was cut short when Craig, the token drunk in the group, had too much to drink and ruined everything. Why they didn't just cart him off and continue on, is beyond me. Come on Andi, use your lawyer savvy and charge him with something and send him to Bachelor Jail to sober up.
The next one on one date was with Chris the sweet Iowa farmer. He was charming but maybe gave away a little too much on the first date. This girl is citified, savvy and smart and capable of eating guys for breakfast.


At the rose ceremony she got rid of Craig the drunk, in spite of the fact he sang her a terrible song he wrote to apologize. She also let the fireman, Carl, go which I thought was a bad idea. He was quiet but kinda handsome and intriguing.
First kiss I believe was with Josh the basketball player with the big smile. Did we hear that he has a girlfriend? Is that coming up in a tearful episode?

 

Sunday is the next installment. And Monday. Lucky us! Apparently Eric Hill leaves suddenly and the men aren't sure what happened.
The Bachelorette is back and filling up Monday nights! Phew!

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt, a free novella on Amazon Books that strangely resembles the TV show, The Bachelor. If you like this reality series, download the novella on a Tuesday when you're pining for a new episode!
Kim is the Bestselling Author of The Dream Jumper's Promise, which was nominated for best indie first book and best Paranormal in 2013.Publisher's Weekly calls it a "fascinating and engaging paranormal romance."