Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Model Can't Put Down Phone on DWTS

Last night on Dancing With The Stars ( #DWTS), the model from the Superbowl Carl's Jr ad, Charlotte, did not get the popular vote and was asked to leave the show.
She had great dancing potential if she'd just been dedicated enough to put down her phone and work a little harder. The clip of her and Keno working in the studio showed her on the darn phone every chance she got. If her dancing partner stopped to think, she went to the phone. She heard it beep, she went to the phone. Even Len told her that being on this show as a golden opportunity and she needed to treat it as such. The gal had long legs, dancing potential and probably the male vote seeing that's the image she projects (busty beer commercial babe), but it wasn't enough to save her over Noah, the vet who dances with one arm and one leg, for crying out loud, and the Bachelor. I guess men don't watch DWTS.

Here's my opinion of what's going on these days on DWTS:

Nastia is a gymnast so of course she is going to look fantastic out there. She's an Olympic level gymnast.
Rumer looks so much like her Mama at that age! Fabulous dancer and what a set of gorgeous (but fake) choppers! She's cute.
14 Year Old is now only known as that, not her name. So young to be in this competition. Next, they'll let a toddler dance if he's tall enough.
Noah the veteran. Fan favorite. We love this guy for so many reasons. Hope he gets that prosthetic arm working for his sake.
Chris, Prince Farming. He can dance but he must stop looking so terrified. Go for it, Chris!
Patti Labelle. Wonderful Diva. It's been fun. Probably time to bow out.
Suzanne Somers. She is 68?! Check out her legs! I'm a fan but she's only got another week or two left before the young'uns take over.
Robert the Shark. He's a little dude. Love that he's doing this. Favorite shark! Romancing the dance instructor too. Fun to watch them make googly eyes at each other.
Michael Sam. Muscular and kind of tight but fun to watch and he has that little boy smile!
Riker. I like this guy! He's a rocker kid with great pizzazz. Also a distant cousin of Julianne and Derek. He acts like a teenage boy but dances like a seasoned performer. From performing family.

That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it!

Friday, March 27, 2015

The Dream Jumper's Promise - Sexy Talk and Scuba

Welcome to Kimmy's Korner. You're looking great today!

Today I'm jumping on the Blog Hop wagon over at My Sexy Saturday to offer a few sentences of Sexy Talk from my novel, THE DREAM JUMPER'S PROMISE
The Suspense with Romantic and Supernatural elements is free, BTW, over at Amazon, Kobo, Nook, B&N, Everywhere and is the recipient of Best Paranormal Mystery/Thriller by Chanticleer Reviews. 245 Reviews on Amazon with 4.6 stars.

Here's an example of my seven paragraphs of sexy talk between the two leads in my book who have just met through a Lahaina, Maui SCUBA diving shop. Her (Tina's) job is to teach him (Jamey) to dive but he's distracted by how cute she is.


When her lesson on decompression sickness ended, they ordered another beer and stayed to listen to the band that had set up for the sunset crowd. They danced, had another drink, and then Tina told him the bad news. He wasn’t her type. She tried to look convincing. “I like the surfer boy look. You’re too big and too…too..."

“Manly?” He grinned.

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know. I just know you’re not my type. You look like someone my parents would put in front of me in hopes of a wedding.”
He took her hands in his and stared sweetly into her face.  "Please reconsider."

She looked him up and down. “Sorry. You’re too…perfect.”

 He laughed like that was the most absurd thing he’d ever heard and showed her a scar under his hairline from a baseball injury when he was fourteen. Then he joked he had six toes on his left foot and an extra nipple. “I’m a freak,” he whispered in her ear, then gently nipped the edge.

An hour later, she left him at his parked rental car on Front Street, but after the lesson the next day, her feelings changed drastically. James chivalrously offered to help with her heavy dive gear. “I already feel emasculated and unwanted after your rejection last night," he said. "At least let me lift something for you with my big manly muscles.” Something in his smile, the twinkle in his eyes, and right then she felt that barrier crumple in favor of guys who look like cops, named Jamey Dunn.

       From The Dream Jumper's Promise

Blog Hop Presented by My Sexy Saturday

Thursday, March 12, 2015

The Farmer Picks a Wife, The Farmer Picks a Wife, Hi Ho the Derry O

The season finale of The Bachelor (Prince Farming) opened on Monday with Chris Soules visiting his family at his parent's very flat, snowy farm in Iowa. My eyeballs froze just looking at the frosty breaths of Chris and Whitney as she ran across the icy driveway to his waiting arms. Once inside the warmth, Whitney charmed everyone to the nth degree, even making Chris's dad cry during her dinner toast. Whitney is the perfect choice for this Bachelor. Forget the squeaky voice, Whitney is in love with him, will move to Iowa, is beautiful, accomplished and all in.
Chris's Mom, Linda, is a lovely, warm, interesting person with a face that says the Good Life in Iowa and tells Whitney that she "could take her and love her, just like that but it's Christopher's choice." Everyone loves everyone else and Whitney heads off in the black SUV in her plaid shirt dress, sure that she's going to be giving Linda grandchildren soon.
The Soules boys gather in the tool shop for a beer and a romance talk and nothing gets decided.
The next day, the sisters take Chris aside to ask him about Becca. Soon it becomes clear that Chris really likes Becca but she might not like him quite as much.
Skip forward ten hours and we know that Becca likes Chris but isn't all in. The family likes her and laughs a lot with her but doubts that she's ready for a proposal. And they don't even know about the BIG V situation! I wonder what they thought when they realized that Becca had never been in love or had a lover. The talk that Becca has with Chris's mother Linda, is golden. Every young girl out there should take heed. Linda says it all, so beautifully.

Here's my theory on how Becca got this far when her relationship with Chris was so tentative. I believe that weeks ago, he really liked her as much as Whitney. Then he met Becca's family, loved them, LOVED THEM! and wanted to be a part of that. Then, all of a sudden, it was the fantasy suite, she was truthful about her lack of experience, and that was not an obstacle for them. Had Becca's personality merged with Whitney's attitude, Chris wouldn't have needed to make a choice. Chris had a real connection with Becca and kudos to Whitney for breaking through that because, you know what? A long marriage is based on mutual commitment. Not doubts and distance, or initial chemistry. Chris goes to Becca's hotel room for a down and dirty talk and the next day shows Whitney his house, his farm, his combine, and it's at that moment that Chris Soules falls completely in love with Whitney.
With Becca gone from his heart now, you can almost see the green light in front of Chris and Whitney. It's a beautiful thing.
The proposal the next day is as nice as the release of Becca from the obligation of trying to feel love. Of course Becca is sad. Her boyfriend broke up with her. But I think she understands that Whitney is ready, in love, and the best choice for Chris. She's not being asked to leave a SoCal lifestyle, give up her guarded virginity and hurry up the process when she's not sure. Whitney is sure.
After the Final Rose with Chris Harrison and the studio audience we see Chris, three months later, talking to CH in Los Angeles about his engagement to Whitney.
Why, in God's name, does CH keep harping on Chris about Becca? "What if ..." The audience clearly feels that CH is harping because when Chris answers, they clap in relief. Chris is a gentleman. Chris Soules that is, and  as such, he is hesitant to say anything to diminish any relationship he had with any girl. Becca comes out to the stage and politely admits she wasn't ready and that's that.
After the commercial break, Becca leaves, Whitney comes out to the stage, the couple looks predictably happy, and Whitney verifies her maturity by saying she didn't watch the show. Not anyone else's dates but hers. Well done, Whitney! Then CH verifies his immaturity as a TV host and harps on the fact that Whitney should watch to see how conflicted Chris was at the end. SHUT UP Chris B. Harrison!!!
Whitney is funny, sweet, in love and Chris is lucky. The parents are "over the top" while the rest of America wishes they had in laws like these two.
Making babies-- "They will be cute," she says. "Bleep, Ya," Chris says.
Ashley S. -- Bachelor in Paradise? Still not sure. "I suppose I might be there," she says, but Chris H takes that as a yes.

Okay now, what do we think about Britt and Kaitlyn as co-Bachelorettes?  STUPID IDEA! When they say Bachelor Nation was divided, they meant that Chris H likes Britt and Mike Fleiss, the creator, likes Kaitlyn. Bachelor Nation was not split down the middle by any stretch of the imagination. Go on Twitter to see. Team Kaitlyn was WAY ahead! Britt was barely in the running. Bachelor Producer propaganda.
I feel badly for both girls. They are both very uncomfortable with this totally stupid idea, and Chris H puts them on the spot asking them how the show will go down. How are they going to do it? Hey Chris, if you don't know what's going to happen, who does? CH's interview with the sparkly twins is as stupid and redundant as I've ever seen on this show. WTF. It made me mad. The whole thing looks like mud wrestling but without the mud.

Shame on you Bachelor producers, shame on you. Bad ending to a fun season.

Kim Hornsby is a bestselling author of romantic suspense and the romantic series The Husband Hunt, modeled after The Bachelor.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

I'm Superficial and Girls Bicker on The Bachelor

Last night on The Women Tell All, the eliminated Bachelor contestants on Prince Farming's season got a chance to do damage control on their public images and get some questions answered by the Bachelor himself. Or not.

This week's recap is going to be brief because let's face it, not much happened. Girls interrupted each other while arguing high school style and Chris Harrision got to plug his new book. More on that later.
First up, Chris and Chris crashed some Bachelor viewing parties around the Los Angeles area and got to drink shots and kiss middle aged mothers high on corn tequila on the mouth.
I understand it's fun to walk into a party of girls and be celebrities but I think I'm done being amused by this. Why not go to a hospital to say hello? Counteract all the silliness.

The first topic on the Tell All set that got a lot of yelling and interrupting was Britt's sincerity and Carly shooting off her mouth about that. Carly loved talking to the camera on this season. She is an entertainer by trade and loves to entertain. And Britt is a crier.
She's as sweet as she is indecisive, as she is emotional. Imagine her makeup to be an indication of her raw emotions. She still loves Chris and is adamant that she could've built a life with him in Iowa. I for one judged her readiness for farm life by the amount of makeup she wears and the fact that she sleeps in it. Showering or not, as is this case, might have worked in her favor on the farm. I voted against her but who knows. She really liked Chris.
Then Kelsey, the widow who told the cameras that she loved her story (widowhood) was in the hot seat to stick her feet farther in her mouth. Let's just say that people who need psychological help rarely know they do, or are willing to admit on national TV that they have issues. Bad guys do not lump themselves in with the bad guys of this world. Kelsey doesn't see what the girls are saying. She's totally stumped why everyone ganged up on her unless it was jealousy over her big words.She is a great apologizer, even though she clearly doesn't know why she's apologizing and qualifies each apology with a "If I...then I'm sorry."
 Had I been one of those girls on the panel last night, I would've simply said "If you did fake that panic attack to get Chris's attention, even if you can't admit it to us, can't admit it to anyone, and won't even say it out loud to yourself, but you know deep down that you did, then I urge you to seek counseling. Maybe it was a game strategy gone wrong but we don't see anyone else doing this and your behavior on the show indicates a troubled mind. Get help.
 The metaphor for Kelsey's personality was asking for a tissue (which they DO NOT allow on The Bachelor,) then asking for Chris's silk handkerchief and blowing her nose in it, chuckling flirtatiously that she wasn't going to give it back. That's Kelsey in a nutshell-- selfish and narcissistic. She made great TV! She finished her moments in the hot seat by bragging about how she challenged herself and is proud of her progress in her grieving process after she became a widow and had to undergo such horrible injustices. Juelia, whose husband committed suicide, said very little about this, to her credit.

Last night I anticipated a big reveal from Ashley S. or at least a hint at what her game was by mumbling silliness and wandering around the show like she was on Quaaludes. I was disappointed. She made about as much sense in the hot seat as she did on the show, still stringing us along, not breaking a smile, saying ridiculous things.
CH asked her outright to do Bachelor in Paradise to which she said, "It's so weird. We're all on television." That sounded like a no to me but the Bachelor producers will think of something to get that girl on the show. The dichotomy of her perfectly groomed Grace Kelly beauty against her gibberish is fascinating. She won't do Bachelor in Paradise. She's not interested in romance or being on TV enough. I think she wasn't interested in Chris and decided to have some fun to make the experience of being on the show worthwhile. This girl is a long distance runner, has a good job, is not a hair stylist at all. She's the assistant controller at Lynx Chemical Group. Anna Kendrick has asked Ashley Salter on Twitter to coach her for interviews. #nokidding #ComedicControl
Then Jade got to talk to Chris Soules about him blogging on how awkward it was to see her nude photos. He tried to explain that he felt he hadn't seen the real Jade and for that reason did not choose her. Soules is not a wordsmith.
He has a hard time expressing himself, especially in situations where he's backed into a corner. This confrontation was about as awkward for him as the photos, I'd say. Note: If Jade is so innocent and sweet, why did she wear a sexy, clingy, red, cleavage-revealing dress like a smoking hot centerfold? Cough, Wild Mustang, Cough.
Kaitlyn got to talk next and didn't ask to sit next to Chris on the stage like the others. She kept her distance, asking him how they could be so close in the fantasy suite and then get canned the next day. Chris stumbled along like a deer caught in the headlights with no clear explanation why he picked Becca instead of Kaitlyn. Personally, I think Kaitlyn needs to find herself a man who can keep up to her comedically, like Jimmy Kimel. She needs someone with Wayyyyy more personality. Did anyone else think Kaitlyn had new collagen in her lips? She looked different.

And that's where I stopped taking notes because nothing new was being said. Until the very end when Chris Harrison announced that he's written a romance novel and it will be out in May. Okay, this is a whole other blog because I'm going to be the Carly on this one and just say that it's damned difficult to write a romance novel and taking advantage of his platform as the host of a romance show doesn't mean he can write. Secretly I'm jealous that he probably has more sales than my four books and four novellas put together and his hasn't even published yet. Pass me another sour grape.

Things that made me go hmmmmm: Jordan didn't speak, Ashley I's bare to there dress turned sideways when she leaned, thereby making her boobs go off center, Kaitlyn's lips, MacKenzie's silence about aliens, Sammy getting her 2 cents in, Britt not defending Kelsey, why Sanderson Po's family hasn't sued Kelsey for overusing and defaming his name and Chris H. thinking he's the next Nicolas Sparks. Oh and my superficiality on this blog.

Over and out until next week.

Kim Hornsby is an award winning author and the Bestselling author of Romantic Suspense novels available on Amazon and writes a novella series called The Husband Hunt, that is modeled after The Bachelor. She lives in Seattle with two very bad dogs, two very lovely children, and one very funny husband.