Saturday, June 29, 2013

My Sexy Saturday

Ok, I"m in Hawaii and it's still Saturday so officially I'm not as late as it looks, I'm hoping.
I'm over here promoting my novel THE DREAM JUMPER'S PROMISE and was at the beach all day, only just returning to my friend's house to remember to post on My Sexy Saturday,

so here is the big payout  from The Dream Jumper's Promise, the scene everyone is waiting for between a former boyfriend/girlfriend 10 years after their breakup, as they struggle to solve her husband's disappearance/death.

“Think we could sleep together without any funny business?” There was something wildly familiar in flirting with Jamey Dunn.
“Doubtful.” He crossed the hotel room and cupped her face in his hands. “Shall we?”
She closed her eyes. “We shall.” His soft lips met hers and she melted like molten lava beneath his kiss. The effect he had on her was still there. His kisses moved to her neck, and she felt her knees almost give out. “Jamey?” Her breathy whisper barely had volume.
“Hmmm?” He scooped her up in his arms and walked to the bed.
“I’m safe with you, right?"
“Yes. You are safest with me.” He kissed her lips tenderly and set her on the turned-down bed, unzipping her hooded jacket.  Her hands ran up under his T-shirt, his abdomen tightening under her touch. First he pulled off her shirt, then his own. His hands encircled her small breasts. “I remember these.” Jamey eased his body half over her, half stretched out beside her. They looked into each other’s eyes as he fingered her nipples. Fondling, pinching lightly.
“I remember you,” she said.
“Hmmm. Good.” His voice was raspy.

They knew how to do this. She and Jamey had their own way together, familiarities reserved only for them—subtle but important remembrances of how to bring the other to the highest point before letting go. Things escalated quickly as they kissed, there in the Molokai hotel room."

Scuba diving instructor and business owner in Lahaina Maui, Tina Green is worse off ten months after the presumed death of her husband and doesn't know why she can't move on. When an old boyfriend, Jamey Dunn, walks back into her life. dreams of Hank have the dive instructor questioning her sanity and have Jamey wondering if he should reveal his secret. While Tina leans heavily on Hank's best friend, Noble, things heat up. Jamey and Noble clash at every turn, both desperate to help Tina, both seemingly in love with her. Suspecting that Tina's dreams hold clues to Hank's disappearance Jamey reveals his strange ability to enter dreams. Trusting the man who betrayed her years before, doesn't come easily and as Tina, Noble and Jamey decipher the mystery of Hank's disappearance, danger sets in to reveal that one person is flirting with insanity, one is a traitor, and one is a murderer.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Bachelorette Struggles for Honesty!

Des Hartsock is surrounded by dishonesty and what my husband and I call the GAY factor. That is not to say we are calling anyone on this year's Bachelorette show gay, but do you see the scarves they wear around their hoodies, the way some of them speak, and how difficult it is for several of them to kiss Des passsionately? I do and it makes me wonder about motives. My teenage son walked into the room when one of the men who wore an eternity/affinity scarf around his hoody hood talked about his feelings for Des. He said "What a great coverup for his sexuality."
Sorry everyone if I think several of them are on the gayish side. I may be wrong but does anyone else see this besides me and my family?
This week the group flew to Munich, Germany and the first date was a one on one with Chris, the mortgage broker from Seattle. I predict he 'll go far with her. She likes him and he seems to like her too. Writing poetry on the plane was a good move and Des likes that sort of thing. They had a wonderful date until Bryden interrupted them to tell Des he was flying home because he just didn't feel for her the way he should. Rumor has it that Bryden reunited with his former girlfriend in Montana and all is well on his front. Des was okay with him leaving but questioned the rest of the guys' motives. Regardless, she ended up having a fun time after the party pooper left. Nicely done Chris, in spite of terrible timing on Bryden's part.
The group date included the men in the picture above, and they ended up on top of a mountain in the German Alps sledding and making snow angels. After frolicking in the snow, the group went into an ice hotel carved into the side of the mountain (which was charming) and had some snacks and talks. Zack and Mikey got alone time, as well as James but the rose recipient was Brookes who tried to interrupt Des and James but when he saw them smooching in amongst the furs, he had to turn away and tell the cameras just what he felt. It was slight jealousy.
Apparently, on the way home, Kasey and Drew woke from a slumber to hear James confess to Mikey that he was hoping to be the next Bachelor or at least to get some hot tall babes on a boat off Chicago when he went home, and that set the anger wheels in motion for the guys who truly like Des. After a meeting about James' ulterior motives they decided to tell Des he's scum. Drew was smoking angry.
Meanwhile Des went on the world's worst two on one date in a hot tug on the lake with Michael, the attorney and Ben the self promoting father. The best thing about that whole day was the lime green hot tub boat, called a hot tug that they took out on the lake with mugs of steaming liquid. But the drinks weren't the only things steaming. Michael, in true lawyer mode, took on Ben in a cross examination of his intentions and his religion and how committed he is as a father. When it came to the rose, it was Ben who remained flowerless although I'm pretty sure Michael is not long for it. He seems most interested in exposing the bad guy, not getting to kiss Des. (See my first paragraph).
When it came to the rose ceremony Drew was determined to out James as the snake he is but when Des called off the cocktail party, the plan was shut down. She knew who was going home, and I did too. Wearing a checked shirt is bad enough but with a busy plaid suit--that is just terrible. James, who also had a gingham shirt on, was spared for now and Mikey ended up going home. Maybe it was his crack about having 5 children and living in the bosom of his Italian family back in Chicago that led Des to think she did not see a future with Mikey.
Next week looks like it's finally getting good. For one thing, we know Zach is the best kisser and he gets a one on one. The men tell on James and everyone seems to cry over that and the drama factor is upped to the nth degree. This is why we love The Bachelorette and wait all year for another round of the show. The drama, the tears, the scarves around their hoodies.

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt series on Amazon Books, modeled after The Bachelor.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Kim and Kanye Name The Baby!

It's almost official. The baby's birth certificate has the name North on it and we can stop holding our breaths wondering what Kimye will name their love child. I say' almost official' because they have not announced the name, only TMZ, the snoopy news sleuths of celebrity gossip got wind of the name. Oh wait, now it's official. Okay, moving on.
Just because the baby has the name of a compass point that indicates our top left corner, or half of an Alfred Hitchcock thriller (North by Northwest) we must smile, accept their name choice and move on. Take it from me. Naming a baby is a grueling task and brains get muddled in the process. When you are doing this with another person and having to compromise, I'd say the name North is a perfectly good name for a child compared to some celebrities' choices. Considering that celebrities are attention getters by nature and probably will name their children with that spotlight in mind, at least Kimye did not go for Moon Unit (Zappa) or Chastity (Bono). There have been some real humdingers over the years from Hollywood, and knowing how Kim Kardashian has built her 'career' on nosing her way into the spotlight with no real talent to speak of, I expected something less normal, like Dolce and Gabanna or even a made up name like Brielette or Shalingtonford. But no, the happy couple named their daughter North. I have to wonder if Kanye had a say in this. Shunning the traditional Kardashian K names, he must've put his foot down on that one. I would've loved to be a fly on the wall when they talked about names. I can't imagine that Kanye West is an easy person to partner with seeing he's a bit of an ass. Did I say that out loud? Oh sorry.
Why do we care about their baby name? I for one am kind of ashamed that I even care. We clicked on this or any other site to see what the name is because we are curious. And we are curious because Kim has made it her business to be judged constantly with her face on the cover of every tabloid, her pregnant body in every news feed, her reality show being talked about on news stations like it's more important than the war in Afghanistan. She has elbowed her way to the top of the media heap just by being Kim Kardashian. She LOVES publicity! So now, we are used to hearing what she had for breakfast and naturally want to know what they called the baby because we've been fed her every move for years. Kanye, I'm told, isn't as interested in revealing his breakfast menu for all to see and rightfully so. He's made some terrible mistakes in his life and had bad press that was probably deserved ten fold. But until he learns to keep his mouth shut, he will continue to battle the public and press. The arrival of a baby should help clear his name if he takes a hands on approach and gets photos of him with the baby. I'm not saying having this child is another publicity ploy because I think it is every person's right to parent but I'm sure Kim will handle this accordingly, if you know what I mean. Her life is an open book. Selling the first photos to the highest bidder will be next, even though reports tell us that Kanye is firm about not releasing pics of the baby for money. We'll see who wins that one.

And so North West will be the baby's name and we must smile, nod and congratulate them. Having a baby is a blessed event and whether we know these people or not, and most of us do not, let's make a pact to move on, shall we?
Congratulations Kimye and North.

Kim Hornsby is the Amazon Best Selling author of The Dream Jumper's Promise and Necessary Detour, both suspense novels.

Writing as Kiki Abbott, The Husband Hunt series is modeled after THE BACHELOR also available on AMAZON

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

The Bachelorette Has Created A Monster

Last night's episode of ABC's The Bachelorette revealed that they may have created a monster this season. ...the sensitive man. Not that men can't have a sensitive side but something is going on at The Bachelorette and the men are all crying and confessing their heads off.
Atlantic City was the first stop on the round the world tour with Des. The first date was a one on one date with Brad that included crazy-ass rides and loads of cheering and throwing arms in the air. But when faced with dinner conversation, they had nothing to talk about. I have a theory why but it involves telling you that I think Brad might be looking for a mother to his son and not be genuinely interested in Des. Times that by ten and you have my theory. Brad had to go home but I ask you why she dumped him at the top of that lighthouse on the Atlantic City strip, after they'd climbed 458 stairs to the top and caught their breaths? The editing made it look like because he didn't try to kiss her when they saw a spectacular view, she dumped him. Again, I think producers call the shots and once she refused him the rose, they sent him all the way back down to the ground. Alone.
Next was the group date that was just plain hard to watch and WRONG! Having the men compete in a Mr. America mock-up contest, had me cringing in my comfy chair. First they had to choose their talent from a table of props that were meant for women (high heeled shoes), then they got their swim suits by some sort of lottery. Several drew the speedos and then, to make it all worse, they had to compete on the Miss America Stage in front of a live studio audience full of women. Ugh! Luckily Juan Pablo got a speedo and he is a great sport but I kind of feel that he's getting a very bad impression of what America is all about and what we stand for. Ben got a speedo too but I didn't really care about his feelings because he's the villain this season if you can call a man who isn't making friends with the guys a 'villain'. The swim suit competition was just wrong and demeaning and cheap. I'm surprised Chris Harrison didn't just put his foot down on this one. Yea right.
The hash tag guy Kasey won the title, probably because he wore red jeans and jacket that was too small for him and Des felt sorry for him. His tap dancing was awesome I have to say, and not because it was accurate.  He obviously can't tap but he tried so hard and made us laugh. Even the guys loved him. I must note that the one man who spoke out about being thought of as just 'a piece of meat' proceeded to dance provocatively for his talent, thereby securing the fact that he is highly comfortable being thought of as a piece of meat. At the after party, Jack W. got the rose for singing a song that he wrote and it happened to sound like it was just for Des. The men continued to bitch and moan about Ben which is getting kind of old now and Ben's nastiness seems silly, not villainous. Yawn. Oh and Juan Pablo has a daughter. What?!
The next one on one was with James, a thick-necked thuggish looking sensitive man with a smile to light up all the hurricane Sandy ravaged coastline. Okay, what's up with the producers? This is not a date. This is a RED CROSS plug, which is okay but to pass it off as a date was just plain weird. Des and James toured the coast in a helicopter, almost crying to see a roller coaster in the water then met a couple who'd had their family home obliterated in the flood. Yes, it was touching when they gave Jan and her man their fancy date but ??? I, for one, thought the big plug for donations to the Red Cross was misplaced. Luckily Des and James were wonderfully cooperative and had just as much fun on their date at a spaghetti joint. It was sweet to see the old couple dancing to Darius Rucker who I'm sure they'd never heard of, but it all seemed so misplaced. James was sensitive and sweet and teary-eyed and what more could he do? It wasn't a date to get to know Des. Not really. It was a platform for the Red Cross effort on the east coast.
At the cocktail party Des wore a sequined mini and kept adjusting that sucker to keep from revealing her chest. She favored the guy from Seattle who writes poetry (of course he does), Brookes (whose hair continues to remind us of Russel Brand) and several other sensitive men who'd confessed their insecurities over the course of the week. Bryden the Iraq vet isn't sure he fits in with this group and I'd have to agree. But, he accepted his rose and the man sent home was someone who hadn't even had any air time. I think he was the Zack who didn't have a song about Des or a child waiting for him at home or a sad story about how he got on the show. And speaking of the monster, either Des told the powers that be, that she likes sensitive men and wouldn't be opposed to a single dad, or the casting call for this season said "must be willing to show a sensitive side" because we are getting it from all angles. Sure there's lots of muscles and 6 packs but the men speak like they've been coached to reveal their under belly and I'm finding it just a little weird. I wonder if Des thinks the same thing.
What do you think? Do you have a genuine favorite? Me neither.

Amazon Best Selling Author, Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt, a novella series on Amazon modeled after The Bachelor. 

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

The Bachelorette Dodged Some 'Bullets'

Last night's episode of ABC's The Bachelorette revealed Des's no nonsense take on her remaining men. This week the Bachelorette got rid of some men she just didn't see as husbands. She had a weird time with hash tag man on his one-on-one, sent Brian home when his supposed girlfriend showed up and axed the new 'guard and protect your heart' man when he revealed a little too early that he was madly in love with her.
But, I digress.
First Dodge Ball, or as I like to call it Dress in Goofy Clothes and Try to Kill Each Other with a Ball until the Ambulance Arrives BALL. Because that's what happened. They threw a hard ball at each others' nuts until Brookes' finger got broken. I was sitting on my couch thinking they were lucky that was the only injury. (see my former sentence about nuts). And while we're talking about this, what were the producers and maybe the director thinking when they met with the costume coordinator for this show?  I'm good with blue and red but did you see the outfits and headbands. I'm surprised they didn't make them wear leg warmers. Were the men supposed to look hot because they didn't?
The party after Nut Ball looked fun on a rooftop patio until Brookes ran in wearing his goofy red garb and looked like a clown. Did I already say that I like Brookes? I do, even though he reminds me of a cross between Russell Brand and Orlando Bloom.
Kris from Seattle I believe, (go Sounders!), got the rose and the opportunity to slow dance with Des at a venue below the patio party. Luckily all the guys could see them kissing and dancing and giggling below their patio of envy and the camera caught a few poor sports commenting on how they wished it was them down there with Des.
The next date was scheduled to be a one-on-one date with hash tag Kasey, except first there was some SHOCKING NEWS! Chris Harrison even had to be called in from his day off to mediate (and encourage) the confrontation between Brian and his alleged girlfriend who thought he was on a business trip. Ha! Brian arrived at the witch hunt in his swim trunks, horrified to see his GF/Fish Wife sounding accuser. She looked and sounded like a piece of work and I was feeling badly for Brian until Chris Harrison had him admit that he'd slept with the GF the night before he came on the Bachelorette. Whoops! Desiree was firm about not letting Brian defend himself and told him to go. As the audience, we got to see the bodyguard guy, several camera people and a boom holder from the show's staff as Brian took the walk of shame to his waiting car.
Time for Kasey! What was once a fun date idea turned into Des trying to forget that a man in her stable had treated his opportunity on the show with the highest disrespect,(Oh no!) and she attempted to salvage the day with a guy who probably doesn't have that much chemistry with her anyhow. When a fierce wind ruined the rooftop patio dinner, he got a rose. At this moment, I was feeling a bit bored with the show but persevered.
The next date involved Juan Pablo and I stuck it out just to hear him say 'giddyup' in a Spanish Accent. The men got into cowboy clothes, learned to fight from the stunt crew of The Lone Ranger and did a major plug for a movie that must be tied to ABC somehow because Johnny Depp and Army Hammer got more air time than most of the men on the date with Des. Juan Pablo won the private screening of a movie in the barn and although we hardly saw him in action, I must say he looks like the best kisser so far. Hmmm? Let's see. Spanish soccer player, good kisser.. he's toast. But maybe not until a few more kisses have crossed Des's lips.Oh, and Bryden the Iraq war vet got the word to change up his hair. Much better! He's a sweetie-pie.
At this point I was losing interest but do remember that Des wore a stunning blue gown at the rose ceremony and after she gave out roses to some men I disagreed with, she ended up cutting Brandon, the guard and protect your heart 2013 guy who seemed too needy too early. So sorry guy. He was sweet. Needy, but sweet. Any man who raises his siblings while his druggie mom is struggling, gets a vote from me. Especially over Ben who is sneaking off with Des to secure his spot and lying to the guys about whether he got some alone time with her. Booo Ben.
Eliminated last night: Brandan who cried and cried and Dan who I can't even remember.
Next week is hometowns. Oh wait. No, next week is more fun and frolicking. See you then!

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt on Amazon, a novella series based on The Bachelor

Monday, June 3, 2013

The Bachelorette Goes For the Sensitive Men

Monday night's Bachelorette episode started out normal enough. The men gathered on the couch the morning after the first rose ceremony and Brooks was given the first date. So far, so good. At times he reminded me of a cross between Russel Brand and Orlando Bloom, which is not necessarily a good thing, but Brooks smiled his way through choosing bridal outfits and cake, ingratiating himself to Des and her love of the sensitive man. And the goofy, fun guy. They picnicked at the Hollywood Sign, on the letter 'L' and Russell, I mean Brooks, gave her his jacket when she was cold. He admitted that his parents were divorced, his relationship with his dad is a work in progress, teared up, and Des looked hooked. He's gonna get the rose. Oh wait, he already did. Crying is not a no no on the first date anymore, apparently.
Then there was a flash mob/group date that had Des enjoying 14 men. They had to rap with Solja Boi and learn to dance and try to impress Des with their dance moves. It wasn't easy to stand out among such a huge group but several men did a pretty good job. The people who cut the show and decide who gets air time only let us see certain men this early and this week they focused on Ben. The guys are ganging up early on Ben, who has the little dude son, and talk was trashy among the guys about how Ben doesn't give a flying fig about making friends. But Ben did not look like a good kisser and I'm wondering how he got the rose again. Maybe that little dude is still lingering in Des's mind. The men pulled out all the heartbreaking stories last night. One Bach talked of his absentee dad and druggie mom and he reminded me of the 'guard and protect your heart' guy. But nicer. His 'in' was the raising my siblings card. Sad.
The next one-on-one date was Bryden, an Iraq vet who badly needs a new hairdo but has a lovely personality. Des seemed to really like him. Us too but I was so busy designing his hair and wondering if he'd be handsome with his too short bangs fluffed up, I couldn't concentrate on their conversation. His hair looked like Jim Carey's in Dumb and Dumber. The tweets kind of said the same thing. When they entered the hot tub and Bryden could not seem to go in for the kiss, it was awkward until Des said "just kiss me!" And that made me wonder if that man would be a great husband for her. Where are the men who don't let her drive every time they get in the car? The men who say, "I'm sorry but I really want to kiss you. Get ready."?
Again Ben. The rose ceremony revealed Ben as a selfish  un-liked Bach in the house. He swooped in on the lawyer from Florida who was revealing the nature of his type one diabetes just as Ben invaded. There must be some Bachelor rule about not turning anyone away if they come to steal you, because at that point I would've said "I'll be with you in 10 minutes, Ben." Turns out he owns a bar and is talking to the men about how an entrepreneur can do very well with national exposure on the Booo. Then again, we only see what the director and producers want us to see.
The rose ceremony revealed the men with morals, bonding skills, and who is a snappy dresser. One guy wore a plaid jacket with a checked shirt and although you can't send someone home for that, he may be short lived on the show if he keeps mixing his patterns.
The tweets at the bottom of the screen are distracting, but I saw a person I know on there at the beginning, (Jennifer Weiner) and I saw Ali Feditowsky, and that's kind of fun. (I'm so shallow!)
Des eliminated 3 guys who were disappointed, one saying it was heartbreaking, but it's still early. Let's face it. They are all going home,eventually, except one. It's just a matter of when.
Next week it looks like the Old Girlfriend comes to the mansion and confronts her 'boyfriend' and that's what will keep us coming back for more. That and the feud with Ben. And Des's dress. And the amazing set decorators who make those dates look so dreamy and romantic.
It's all good, isn't it?
See you next week on The Bachelorette

Be sure to catch Kim's short story series Modeled after The Bachelor and The Bachelorette on Amazon
The Husband Hunt
and The Husband Hunt - Kat's Season
under her contemporary romance pen name Kiki Abbott

over and out!