Tuesday, June 11, 2013

The Bachelorette Dodged Some 'Bullets'

Last night's episode of ABC's The Bachelorette revealed Des's no nonsense take on her remaining men. This week the Bachelorette got rid of some men she just didn't see as husbands. She had a weird time with hash tag man on his one-on-one, sent Brian home when his supposed girlfriend showed up and axed the new 'guard and protect your heart' man when he revealed a little too early that he was madly in love with her.
But, I digress.
First Dodge Ball, or as I like to call it Dress in Goofy Clothes and Try to Kill Each Other with a Ball until the Ambulance Arrives BALL. Because that's what happened. They threw a hard ball at each others' nuts until Brookes' finger got broken. I was sitting on my couch thinking they were lucky that was the only injury. (see my former sentence about nuts). And while we're talking about this, what were the producers and maybe the director thinking when they met with the costume coordinator for this show?  I'm good with blue and red but did you see the outfits and headbands. I'm surprised they didn't make them wear leg warmers. Were the men supposed to look hot because they didn't?
The party after Nut Ball looked fun on a rooftop patio until Brookes ran in wearing his goofy red garb and looked like a clown. Did I already say that I like Brookes? I do, even though he reminds me of a cross between Russell Brand and Orlando Bloom.
Kris from Seattle I believe, (go Sounders!), got the rose and the opportunity to slow dance with Des at a venue below the patio party. Luckily all the guys could see them kissing and dancing and giggling below their patio of envy and the camera caught a few poor sports commenting on how they wished it was them down there with Des.
The next date was scheduled to be a one-on-one date with hash tag Kasey, except first there was some SHOCKING NEWS! Chris Harrison even had to be called in from his day off to mediate (and encourage) the confrontation between Brian and his alleged girlfriend who thought he was on a business trip. Ha! Brian arrived at the witch hunt in his swim trunks, horrified to see his GF/Fish Wife sounding accuser. She looked and sounded like a piece of work and I was feeling badly for Brian until Chris Harrison had him admit that he'd slept with the GF the night before he came on the Bachelorette. Whoops! Desiree was firm about not letting Brian defend himself and told him to go. As the audience, we got to see the bodyguard guy, several camera people and a boom holder from the show's staff as Brian took the walk of shame to his waiting car.
Time for Kasey! What was once a fun date idea turned into Des trying to forget that a man in her stable had treated his opportunity on the show with the highest disrespect,(Oh no!) and she attempted to salvage the day with a guy who probably doesn't have that much chemistry with her anyhow. When a fierce wind ruined the rooftop patio dinner, he got a rose. At this moment, I was feeling a bit bored with the show but persevered.
The next date involved Juan Pablo and I stuck it out just to hear him say 'giddyup' in a Spanish Accent. The men got into cowboy clothes, learned to fight from the stunt crew of The Lone Ranger and did a major plug for a movie that must be tied to ABC somehow because Johnny Depp and Army Hammer got more air time than most of the men on the date with Des. Juan Pablo won the private screening of a movie in the barn and although we hardly saw him in action, I must say he looks like the best kisser so far. Hmmm? Let's see. Spanish soccer player, good kisser.. he's toast. But maybe not until a few more kisses have crossed Des's lips.Oh, and Bryden the Iraq war vet got the word to change up his hair. Much better! He's a sweetie-pie.
At this point I was losing interest but do remember that Des wore a stunning blue gown at the rose ceremony and after she gave out roses to some men I disagreed with, she ended up cutting Brandon, the guard and protect your heart 2013 guy who seemed too needy too early. So sorry guy. He was sweet. Needy, but sweet. Any man who raises his siblings while his druggie mom is struggling, gets a vote from me. Especially over Ben who is sneaking off with Des to secure his spot and lying to the guys about whether he got some alone time with her. Booo Ben.
Eliminated last night: Brandan who cried and cried and Dan who I can't even remember.
Next week is hometowns. Oh wait. No, next week is more fun and frolicking. See you then!

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt on Amazon, a novella series based on The Bachelor  http://amzn.com/B00BN1YSN0

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