Thursday, June 5, 2014

The Bachelorette Gets Testy

This week's episode of The Bachelorette had me wondering why I watch this reality show. It can be so stupid sometimes and I know the show is set up to make the most of a potentially dramatic situation, but it seems to be getting more ridiculous. Like a car accident, I can't look away.

The evening started with the crew in Connecticut. Not sure why they ended up at the Mohegan Sun Resort unless Chris Harrison owns a share in the hotel but there they were in chilly March weather, in a dreary geographical setting, at a huge monstrosity of a resort. The men were excited to be in a nice hotel suite which was a good thing because they are sequestered inside the room for days on end, like prisoners. This must be part of the psychological deprivation plan to make the men so appreciative of a date with the Bachelorette that they all think they're falling in love after four weeks. It's working, but more on that later.

The first date was a steam train ride through the countryside with the quiet contender, Dylan. He has a chiseled, handsome face but needs a good haircut. It's distracting to his lovely face.
Turns out the poor man lost both siblings to drugs and is very close to his single mom. There was a heartbreaking story there but Andi didn't pull it out of him. Just let him say his piece and they moved on. The chemistry between the two was about zero as the train moved through the very countryside that Dylan grew up in, passing a river that he and his brother used to swim. Dinner was in a highly lit, camera filled train car and without even touching their food, they moved on to the next surprise of the night. The train whistle. Okay, that wasn't a big surprise seeing they'd already pulled the thing earlier. The whole thing was a bit ho hum except for the squirm-worthy fact that Dylan said it was one of his best dates ever. Sorry Buddy.

                                  Andi gets a love letter from a secret admirer. (NickV? Josh?)

The next date was a group of ten men who suited up to play basketball, first against Andi and some super tall chicks from the WNBA or whatever the women's league is called, then against each other.
This date brought out a side of Andi that I personally do not like. Let's just say, she isn't as sweet as some other bachelorettes. When I say she could eat some of the guys for breakfast, I mean it. Brian, the basketball coach, for one. She liked what she saw on the court but he has no game with girls (his words) and neglected to seize the kiss moment when he later took her on the dimly lit court that night, made a half court basket, impressed the hell out of her and couldn't kiss her. Dude: Be less impressed with yourself than her, then move in for the kiss.

The next date was with Marcus, a Canadian-born front runner, who considers Andi his girlfriend. He obviously has no idea about Nick V. and Andi. On the date, the twosome rappelled down the side of the Mohegan Sun Resort, right past the room of the holed-up men. Both Marcus and Andi were elated to conquer their fear of heights and then dressed up to go to dinner.

Again, nothing was eaten, deep feelings were declared and Andi led Marcus to a concert by one of his favorite country artists, Jon Pardi, where they danced and kissed. Marcus couldn't stop telling her he was falling in love, he loves her, he's crazy about her etc. It got old. Andi smiled. Like the photo below. Lots of that.
They are definitely cute together. Note to Marcus: Hold something back.

At the cocktail party, Andi spoke with several of the guys, Tasos, Marquel
(who is super funny!) and Eric who confronted her about being real. Oh no. Hearing that he thought she was being fake, Andi proceeded to go ape shit on him, blowing his words way out of proportion. She then confronted the men about getting their asses out the door if anyone doesn't think this is real. Well, Andi, I hate to tell you but it isn't real. Have you seen the cameras? The clothes? The settings? Eric was being honest when he said he doesn't usually dress this way. I think the guy just wanted her to admit it's a fake situation but she got all pissy about his words and Eric left the show bewildered.

Because Eric Hill died a month later in a paragliding accident in Utah, the producers of the show decided to forgo the actual rose ceremony and instead let Andi do some damage control with her reputation. If you believed Eric's words about Andi not being real on camera, then you might have found this segment strange. It was a lot of Chris Harrison asking leading questions to allow the Bachelorette to say that she's sorry her last conversation with Eric was a fight. I'm sure she is sorry and that it was shocking when Eric died but I think this segment was smarmy and weird. I can't help but wonder if they felt the need to clear Andi's reputation. Think about it.

Afterwards, I realized that Eric was right, this is not real life, not actual dating, not a great way to look for love, and his last words on the show about that were even more poignant than anyone at that time knew. He called it like he saw it. But, I wanted to see the rose ceremony. I wanted Tasos to have his moment to say goodbye.

On another note, The Bachelor franchise is filming a summer show in Mexico right now with alumni and yes, Chris Bukowski gets on that one. If you don't recognize the name, he's the guy who showed up on Andi's first night with flowers. This guy is desperate to keep his Bachelor star shining and looks like he gets his chance on this soon to be released summer show that is sure to be worse than Bachelor Pad. I'll be watching through my hand over my eyes August 4th. How about you?

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt, a free novella on Amazon Books that strangely resembles the TV show, The Bachelor. If you like this reality series, download the novella on a Tuesday when you're pining for a new episode!
Kim is the Bestselling Author of The Dream Jumper's Promise, which was nominated for best indie first book and best Paranormal in 2013.Publisher's Weekly calls it a "fascinating and engaging paranormal romance."

Monday, June 2, 2014

Calm Before the Storm on THE BACHELORETTE

The drama is just beginning on The Bachelorette and we can't wait to see what's going to happen tonight. Did everyone remember that last night (Sunday) was a special installment? And we get to watch again tonight? As Wayne and Garth said in Wayne's World "we're not worthy."

Last night's episode had Andi heading to Santa Barbara, two hours north of the L.A. mansion, for her dates. The first date was given to Nick V. who isn't classically handsome but is boyishly cute and last night declared he has a crush on Andi. Again, it looks like she could eat this guy for breakfast but seemed charmed by his admission. They hiked around, hugged and kissed a bit, later having dinner on the steps of a courthouse where Nick said "like" twelve times in the same sentence, my daughter announced when she wandered in to the room.

The group date saw the men load into limos bound for Santa Barbara, to do some singing. The opera singer in the group took every on-camera opportunity to hit a few notes and talk about how he'd surely win the group date rose because he was the only one who could sing. Hold your pitch pipe there, Buddy. Don't you watch the show? No one ever gets that rose for talent, only good sportsmanship. Turned out they learned a BoyZ 2 Men song and performed in a public market on stage, crucifying the song "I'll Make Love to You". It was cute, funny and painful to listen to. And the men could not sing to save their lives. Tasos wasn't bad. Is that his name?
But why doesn't Marquel get more airtime? He seems really sweet and I for one would like to hear who he is. Opera Man crucified the song with his operatic style. At the party later, Josh got some kissy kissy time with Andi, declaring his interest in being with her more and was rewarded with the rose. Marcus looked crushed seeing he thinks he's the only one who's kissed her and that they have something way more special than anything she has with anyone else.
Marcus is either going to leave in tears or turn into the stalker of the season. Too bad he's getting so hooked so early.

Then was a one on one date with JJ. The tall/small twosome was transformed into 88 year olds with makeup, hair and costumes and set free in Santa Barbara to roam the boardwalk and parks, asking people to take pictures of them.
Not sure if they fooled anyone but when they began to play football and do cartwheels, I'm sure onlookers wondered what was up. That and the ABC TV cameras following two elderly people on their scooters. It was a cute idea and JJ played along like a pro even though he looked just like Bad Grampa.
Trouble was that without the costume, he was a bit needy and self-depreciating on the date. Andi looked bored. Coming to dinner as a handsome young man would've been JJ's time to wow his date after hanging around all day in liver spots, but instead JJ talked about being a geek. I guess anyone who describes his profession as a Pantstrapreneur is bound to be quirky.

Next the cocktail party. The big drama of the night was when JJ told Josh that Andrew not only got a waitress's phone number recently on a date, but bragged to the car full of men, then proceeded to brag to his bedroom mates about the acquisition. Not cool.
But the funny part was JJ got Josh to do the dirty work after telling him about this. He stood back with drink in hand and let Josh confront the culprit.
Andrew walked away and they followed him through the house with cameras hot on the trail, JJ standing back to let Josh get madder by the minute. Bachelorette producers were probably salivating at this. Finally the drama begins.

When Andi arrived at the party, she took Eric aside for a talk, flowers were delivered couch side and ruined the moment simply because the bouquet was from Nick V., not Eric. A nice touch from Nick but because we now know that Eric leaves the show soon and dies soon after, it was a strange moment to watch. Shortly after, Marcus took Andi aside and they kiss in a doorway, then Andi grabs Nick to thank him for the flowers and they do some kissing. Andi's lips are getting a workout early on this season.
At eliminations, she lets the opera singer and the hairdresser go. Ron has already left due to a mysterious phone call in the driveway that was explained after he packed his things and told the guys he was checking out. A good friend died.

Tonight is another episode and it looks like someone writes a letter to tell Andi of Andrew's smarmy phone number collection and she gets super mad, hurt and shows everyone the door. Can't wait!

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt, a free novella on Amazon Books that strangely resembles the TV show, The Bachelor. If you like this reality series, download the novella on a Tuesday when you're pining for a new episode!
Kim is the Bestselling Author of The Dream Jumper's Promise, which was nominated for best indie first book and best Paranormal in 2013.Publisher's Weekly calls it a "fascinating and engaging paranormal romance."