The Men Agreed to Play a Gentleman's Game

Last night on The Bachelorette's, The Men Tell All, we got a glimpse in to a fine looking group of men who were competing for the same woman on National TV, but that didn't deter them from remembering their manners.

Early on in the season of competing for Rachel's attentions, apparently, they agreed to play a gentleman's game with respect to each other. Not get nasty.
How cool is that? This group of bachelors was the most articulate, honorable, respectful group I think I've ever seen on Men Tell All, and I've seen pretty much every episode since the beginning.
In the group, there was one man who did not play a gentleman's game. He chose the low road, baiting one man to distraction, making his experience miserable and causing The Bachelorette, Rachel, to doubt both men. It was a shame that Lee ruined the game for Kenny and we knew that if Lee showed up to Men Tell All last night, he would get raked across the coals.
He did get raked, from the Bachelor producers and from the men, but with the men it was in a gentlemanly fashion. The men eloquently articulated how Lee played the game dishonestly, they backed Kenny and Lee confessed he lied and cheated to make Kenny look bad. Lee's on-camera interviews made my skin crawl to think that someone was out to ruin another man's chances at love. And Kenny is a father, a single father raising a ten-year-old girl!
In the first half of last night's show, Lee still had that smarmy grin on his face but when Chris Harrison pulled up a sexist tweet and a racist tweet from Lee, a year ago, that grin left Lee's face in a moment of "Oh, shit, this is bad!" We got to see what we think is the real Lee, telling America he learned a lot from this experience and is still learning. Apparently there were two Lee's--the one we got to see in those private interviews and the one that made two friends in the house.
Lee is an aspiring singer/songwriter and we know why those people come on The Bachelorette, don't we? After this display, I'm not sure this villain will get any contracts offered.

Last night's Men Tell All was a bold show and could've gone so sideways when those tweets hit the screen but Lee saw the writing on the wall (literally) and apologized to the men and later to Rachel. He saved his skin and Kenny did the honorable thing by saying on National TV that he did not think Lee's vendetta was race-based then agreed to hug it out with him.

Watching Men Tell All last night was one of the first times I've ever felt enlightened in anything socially important by this show. The men, especially the African American men who talked about race problems and persecution and the NCAA, should be proud of what they did last night to educate the American audience that playing a gentleman's game (in life) is the honorable way to go.
I walked away from The Men Tell All feeling like I'd learned something, I'd witnessed something great on TV, something historical. And that is not easy to say with a show like The Bachelor!

The Bachelor Breaks the Cardinal Rule!!!!

Jamaica Mon, on The Bachelor!

Ben has three women left at this point and all three women are in love with the hunky software salesman from Indiana. Or they think they are. It's my opinion that at this point they have a form of Stockholm Syndrome and are in love with the only man they've seen for months, a man who is made out to be the next James Bond and their feelings in this captivity have led them to believe they love Ben. It's clever how the producers limit their time with the Bachelor and control the women's experiances. That's why the Fantasy Suite dates are essential. They actually get to spend uninterrupted hours to find out who this guy really is. Forget the bed. The women don't have cameras in their faces, directors telling them where to stand, producers prompting them for dirt on another girl.

The first date last night was Caila and Ben's float on a raft down a river to the Jerky Center where they ate barbeque and drank from coconuts. Caila was worried and quiet and not herself and Ben sensed it. Conversation was stilted.
Later, at the dinner table, she confessed her worry about the other relationships. He basically told her to trust him so she did, and bravely revealed that she loved him. Fireworks went crazy in the background as they stood in thigh deep (probably cold) water to pose and kiss. They woke up the next morning and blissfully kissed, drank coffee, and smiled a lot, like lovers do.

Lauren's date with Ben involved releasing newborn sea turtles to the ocean, an activity I missed doing by one day recently in Nicaragua. (There were no new hatches the day I was at the turtle beach.) Lauren and Ben had loads of one day old Hawksbills to watch as they hobbled to the sea instinctively. Who wasn't moved to almost tears to see these babies head to what will probably be their early demise in the ocean. Not many make it. Not like in Finding Nemo.
That night, Lauren and Ben found a reggae band on the street and sat at the Bachelor dinner vignette to read the Fantasy Suite card. Lauren told Ben that he's the man of her dreams and also revealed that she loved him. For the first time in Bachelor history the Bachelor said it back and I almost fell off my chair and spilled my two buck Chuck. Are they allowed to say that? He did! These two seemed very much in love and I pretty much had this contest all sewn up at this point but wait...

The next day with Jo Jo went swimmingly. She wears skimpy, sexy clothes, have you noticed? Her bikini at YS Falls was strange and highlighted her assets. She and Ben swam and talked and kissed and when she revealed she loved him, Ben said he loved her too. Jo Jo's mouth feel open. WHAT? She took this to mean that she is the ONE, I was pretty sure, and fell the rest of the way in love with Ben. Isn't this the Bachelor Cardinal Rule #1? Do not say those love words until your propose to that one girl at the very end??? Whether the show's psychologist warned Ben or not, we'll never know.

The Fantasy Suite card presented itself at dinner and off they went to the Romeo and Juliet room for privacy. In the morning, they fed each other fruit, declared their love for each other and off Ben went to ponder what to do after telling two women that he loves them. He forgot to tell Caila that he loves her! But wait. He doesn't exactly.
When Caila decided to surprise him with a visit to his guest house on the other side of the island, he sat her down on the cold hard stairs outside his suite and delivered the cold, hard truth. She had to leave. She started to, then got out of the car to ask him when he knew he wasn't in love with her. Good move, Caila! She got a satisfactory answer and cried all the way to the airport.
At the rose ceremony sisterwives Lauren and Jo Jo wondered where Caila got to until Ben arrived to say he'd sent her home. They toasted awkwardly, group hugged awkwardly, and tried to smile even though all three of them knew that one of them would be crying their eyes out in the next few days. Well, maybe two of them. Ben is a soft-hearted guy.

The Women Tell All was filmed Saturday night in Los Angeles and the Chicken Enthusiast was invited to attend--and Sheila, the little chicken who she loves. Sheila had to fly cargo, unlike a tiny dog who can go under the seat in front but the little chicken handled her trip to Hollywood like a trooper. Tiara, the chicken enthusiast had never been more proud of a chicken in her life. Sheila was held by Chris Harrison and Elan Gale for selfies, got on-camera time and even squawked at an appropriate moment during the taping. We aren't sure if Tiara will get edited out but the fact that they invited someone who was let go the first night, was an exciting honor for our girl from Washington State.
Tune in Monday to see if Sheila the chicken gets air time, if they cut away to Tiara's mid-riff showing outfit or if they call out Leah for lying about throwing Lauren B under the bus!

Bachelor at 20 and a Wedding!

THE BACHELOR celebrated its 20th season with a Sunday night special edition/look back at twenty shows and it was actually pretty good!
I'm going to make this short and just give a quick overview of the show seeing I did not take notes while watching. Hey, I'd just finished an 8-hour shift at Macy's and simply wanted to sit on the couch, eat something with melted cheese on top and drink a Coors Lite.
The show paid tribute to Bachelor Nation, the fan base that keeps the show on the air. Yes, you. We watched clips from earlier Bachelor shows, including the first one with Alex Michel and a bevy of ladies who looked a whole lot more real and less Hollywoodized than the ladies have in recent shows. Nowadays one must visit the nail salon, the tanning salon, the hair salon, the gym, the dentist, the MAC makeup counter and then get some hot shot designer to sponsor your clothes on the show.

It was fun to see loads of former Bachelors in one room with their wives (Andrew Firestone has three kids!), fiancees (Bob Guinney and Jessica, my neighbors), girlfriends (?), or lack thereof (Chris Soules is still alone, apparently). It seems the Bachelorettes have fared better at finding love. At the party we saw Kaitlyn and Shawn, Trista and Ryan, Deanna and hubby, Ashley and J.P. and Andy Dorfman and no one. There were also many pregnant, (engaged!) alumni like Ashley Salter, Ali Feditowski, and the tiara-wearing Diva who is one of Chris Harrison's favorite Bachelor people. (What?) Other alumni who attended were Sarah Herron, Chris Bukowski, Ashley the crier, Juelia, Jared, and more.
They showed outtakes, had funny little segments like "Worst Villain" clips and the show was thoroughly entertaining to this Bachelor groupie.
Then, we switched to another gathering, one that happened recently, to celebrate Jade and Tanner's wedding. I know these two events took place separately because Jason Mesnick and Molly couldn't come to the 20th party but Jason was at the wedding. Molly was home with the baby in rainy Seattle.

Chris Harrison interviewed alumni with the empty wedding scene as the backdrop, and for once, he did a pretty good job with ad lib. CH is becoming the king of Schmaltz and said "Never before in Bachelor history," so many times over the two hours, I forgot to count.

I really like Jade and Tanner's story and was very happy to see them fall in love on Bachelor in Paradise. I was hoping they'd make it past the afterlife when the show ended and was worried their relationship wouldn't survive. Last night they looked absolutely radiant and thrilled as they vowed to love each other forever in one of the nicest wedding ceremonies in Bachelor History. The vows were heartfelt, Jade looked absolutely gorgeous, and the flowers! Did anyone notice that flower wall Jade passed as she came off the staircase? The audience was filled with alumni, most crying after the vows and it was a beautiful ceremony with CH officiating.
The reception was a staged filming of more Bach alumni including Jillian Harris, Deanna, Andi, Michelle Money, Ben, Chris Soules, and Seal. Yes, Seal sang at the reception and did a wonderful job. The guy who sang at the ceremony Matt Nathanson was a little loud and it was a welcome change when Carly from Bachelor in Paradise sang a pretty song she wrote for the happy couple.
All in all, last night's show was fun to watch and I'm sure more than a few hookups occurred at the Dana Point La Di Da Hotel. And isn't that what The Bachelor is all about?
No, not hooking up! Love.

Bachelor Producers Keep Lace

Week 2 of The Bachelor with Dreamy Dreamboat Ben Higgins had us scratching our heads wondering where the Chicken Enthusiast went and why Ben didn't keep her. He kept so many questionable, (can I say boring?) girls!
Well, they are probably all extremely wonderful off camera but keeping Lace over Tiara after Lace's obsessive neediness and bitchiness makes me pretty damned sure that the producers have a say in who goes and who stays.
Sources tell me that the Chicken Enthusiast herself had no idea what happened. She and Ben hit it off and he told her she had the "kindest heart" but choosing Lace over Tiara Soleim, the poultry Queen, tells us one of two things--there's something fishy in Bachelorville or Ben isn't interested in chickens. Or kind hearts.

The evening opened with the money shot of Ben in his boxers at the Four Season's Hotel getting ready for his day. The first date was with Jackie, L.B., Lauren H, Amber, Becca, Mandy, Jo Jo, Jubilee, Jennifer and Lace. Oh, and Amanda.


Usually at this point in the season, I give the girls my own nicknames. Here goes nothing:

Lace - Bitch Psycho Drinker ( too much?)
Amanda - Mom of Two
Jo Jo - Cute, short girl
Amber- Bach regular
Becca - Famous Virgin
Jackie - Gerontologist
Mandy - Flower Head
LB - Fuchsia Dress first night
Jubilee - Soldier
Jennifer - Brunette long hair
Lauren H. - Kindergarten teacher
Olivia - Anchor Woman
Caila - Small Brunette with big smile
Jami - Token Canadian
Emily/Haley - Twins
Leah - Blonde/Denver
Lauren B - Flight Attendant
Shushana -Russian
Rachel - Unemployed
Samantha - Husky-voiced blonde

A bunch of the gals went on the first group date to Bachelor High, an actual high school where future contestants learn to shed their dignity to compete for time with Ben by mixing ingredients to make Ben's volcanoes erupt. Or bobbing for apples. Was this the best they could do for the first date? I mean really. It was silly shtick and kind of embarrassing. Mandy ended up winning the hurdles in her bare feet and got the genuine thrill of riding around a track 27 times with Ben in a convertible while the losers watched from their lineup in the blazing sunshine. Date rating 2/5

That night the dress code was heels and legs and everyone arrived in minis and stilettos. Summary of the rooftop patio cocktail party - Olivia has a large mouth and opens it wide a lot to express surprise. needy Lace thinks if she locks eyes with Ben for 5 seconds it's called eye sex, and Jo Jo got the rose from Ben after hugs and kisses on the roof of the very tall building. Lace showed her claws and her cra cra a little too much again.

The next date was the one on one, but was more like a one on three with Kevin Hart and Ice Cube doing a Ride Along to pimp their movie that releases soon. Soon The Bachelor will have the contestants pimping Coca Cola and hotels. Oh wait, they do the last one. The two actors from Ride Along were moderately funny on the cheapo date with Caila and Ben that included riding around in a very old Buick convertible, visiting a liquor store to buy condoms, and stopping at a dingy spa store for a hot tub soak in the store's floor model. Kevin Hart joined them in the water, sans swim suit, and the black box was resurrected from Chris Soules' season to cover his family jewels and Parker House rolls when he left the tub.

That night, after showering off the germs from the display model hot tub, Ben and Caila had a sweet conversation over an untouched, plastic- looking dinner at a pub/restaurant and once the rose was in her hand, they meandered down the street to a private concert by none other than Amos Lee!!! (My Hubby and I were both googling Amos Lee to see who the heck he is.)Caila and Ben did a lot of smooching and a bit of dancing and seemed to get along just great while Amos promoted his album in the background.

The next day's group date was with another bunch of girls at the Love Lab Technologies Headquarters and if you've never heard of this process, you are in for a big treat. Huge! This is the place where they can measure your smell and check your brain to see if you're compatible with another person. All the man has to do is wear headgear and sniff near the woman's butt to see if she's his type. Okay, I found this EXTREMELY uncomfortable (not to mention stupid!) and felt horrible for Samantha when a blindfolded Ben said she smelled "sour".
She scored the lowest of all the gals, and Olivia the anchorwoman scored highest, mostly because when they did their brain test, she flirted with him, talking about how difficult it was to not kiss him when their lips were so close. With pheromones flying between them, the attraction needle spiked. Well done, Olivia.
She got to have time with Ben in his hotel suite later while the other girls waited on the Four Season's rooftop patio. Amanda was not impressed with Liv's braggy behavior when she got back. Oh no. But she took the opportunity to tell Ben about her daughters and he was so very sweet when he learned Amanda is a mom. So genuinely sweet that I warmed to the guy who was earlier smelling girls hips. "Kids don't scare me," he said.
And we believed him. He even wanted to know their names. (Maybe the chicken enthusiast should have pretended she had human kids. I can't let this go!)
Olivia got the date rose and Amanda was a bit weepy over that. After all, her time is super precious.









At the ROSE CEREMONY, the next night, Lace shows a Dobby-like side, talking to herself (it appears) in the bathroom about master seeing her bad side. She did not want this to happen. Did not. She must be more careful.
Thing is, Lace thinks her worst feature is being insecure which is kind of amusing and sad because the poor girl doesn't realize that it's so much more than that. She's highly competitive, tends to verbalize when she should hold in her bad words, and probably grew up being treated like a princess and still expects the spotlight, or was raised with older brothers who taught her to be scrappy and insecure. And she's a terrible interrupter!
She fluctuates between acting like Dobby and Cruella for the camera. It must be horrible living inside her head. At least on The Bachelor.

Next, Ben made hair barrettes with Amanda for her girls which was a lovely gesture but not if he boots the Mama home. It will be a cruel reminder to have those barrettes holding little curls back in her daughters' hair if Ben rejects her after she falls for him. I spent this segment imagining an intern going to Ben Franklin Store to get a glue gun and barrette crafty things earlier in the day.

Ben gives the flight attendant, Lauren, a photo of the two of them, thereby reassuring her that he has feelings for the long-legged blonde, and when the rose doling starts LB chooses to go home instead of accepting Ben's rose. She must've found some dignity under one of those rose bushes at the mansion and decided to use it. Oh well.
Ben barely walks her out, then hands the roses to almost everyone left and we say goodbye to Jacki, Mandy and Samantha. Lace gets to stay on, thereby confirming that Bachelor producers get at least one vote when Ben hands out thornless roses. Thanks for that obvious confirmation because I doubt Ben is interested in this kind of DRAMA.
With Mandy gone, no pollenating will be taking place at the mansion, and with Jacki hitting the high road, no gerontology lessons either and the gal who scored lowest at the Love Lab, Sam, will head home to do damage control about hearing she smells sour. Poor thing!

The Bachelor ended and the live after show came on immediately after with Chris H's good friend Kris Jenner Kardashian.

Let the record show that I did not tune in to the after show with Chris, Chris and Kris because I have one of those filters on my devices that blocks out anything Kardashian. That and the fact that I lose all respect for myself if I waste an hour on this predictably mundane live hour. It's painful to watch.

I'm not totally into this season without Tiara on anymore, but I'm hopeful it will grow on me even though I know who he picks at the end. Or at least, I have a good idea and it's not the chicken enthusiast, Tiara Soleim. Waaaaaaaaa...

And now we wait to see what happens next week... Oh snap. I'm gone for the next two weeks at a wedding extravaganza adventure in Central America. Doubters that I'll get THE BACHELOR on TV while I'm scouring the jungle for howler monkeys and toasting the grooms in Granada, Nicaragua, but I promise I'll try to catch up ASAP. If you want to get these important accounts in your inbox, follow this blog! 

Kim Hornsby is a Bestselling, Award-Winning Suspense Author who can be found on Amazon here. She uses this blog to exercise her funny muscle and because she loves to hear herself talk.

Chicken Enthusiast Booted Back to the Barnyard!

OH NO! We really wanted that chicken lover, Tiara, to stay and talk more about her passion for chickens and now that darned Ben has gone and ruined our chances of getting to know the only person on this season of THE BACHELOR who had enough of a sense of humor to list her profession as a Chicken Enthusiast. The only gal who playfully had a photo of Ben in her house along with photos of her chickens and interestingly enough, the only person on the show not drinking. Yep, you heard me. The Chicken Enthusiast does not need to drink to stay happy or relaxed or fun. She only has to think of her chickens and happiness floods over her like a veil of that mesh fencing stuff we all use in our backyards to keep bunnies out of our veg garden. I think it's called chicken wire.
Anyone sick of the chicken jokes yet?
I really thought after her little introductory movie in Redmond WA with the chickens, we'd see more of Tiara but I know on The Bachelor they edit out a ton. On the first night, the girls line up to speak to Ben and only a few of the conversations get aired. He said "Beautiful" three times looking at her. I wished they'd shown their conversation. I saw photos online of Tiara and Ben talking by the fireplace, engaged in a conversation. Go to her Instagram account. He has his hand on her leg! (Her name is Mizz_Minxy)
Maybe it takes a special person to understand a woman who has bonded with barnyard animals but as a viewer I felt like we got a promise of some really good fun with this gal and then never really saw her again (aside from those nervous looks and facial ticks during the rose ceremony.) Bummer!
The Bachelor producers missed the fun boat with this kooky twenty-seven-year-old, this woman who decided after she made all the cuts and auditions it takes to get on The Bachelor, that she'd list her profession as something that is her passion, instead of listing "dental assistant."
And Lace over Tiara?  What the heck? I can see where Lace makes good TV but what about a Chicken Enthusiast????

I'd like to take two or three sentences to tell you that Chicken Enthusiast is not a job, it's like saying Dog Lover. The Bachelor producers encourage this type of thing to make the show more interesting. One girl listed her profession as unemployed and you have to know that they are ALL essentially unemployed when they go on the show because they have to leave jobs for a maximum of 3 months.
Tiara chose to not list dental assistant but write chicken enthusiast. There are lots of people around the planet who think keeping chickens in cages where they can't stand up or move is unethical. That's what a chicken enthusiast is. I looked it up. And I'm now one. Kind of.
I don't blame Tiara for championing for chicken rights on The Bachelor. Girls go on for selfish reasons. The Chicken Enthusiast from Redmond seems to have chosen her cause and guess what? It's a worthy one if you think about it.
Anyways, Tiara is gone, off the show now, never to know Ben in the romantic sense and never to return, but wouldn't it be fun if she was on the After Show with Chris Harrison live? We could get to see her again and she might even bring one of her chickens (like Sheila!) as long as she could fit Sheila under the seat in front of her long legs on the flight from Seattle to Los Angeles. Tiara already has all the camera ready clothes for several weeks worth of appearances seeing she packed duds and dresses for months and came home several days after she left. Wouldn't you like to see the Chicken Enthusiast in the low cut gold mini dress with the killer stilettos? Imagine Blake Lively in that movie where she was younger than her elderly daughter and looked drop dead gorgeous in a cocktail dress. Ya, you got it

How about it America and Beyond. Do you want to see Tiara, the Chicken Enthusiast next week and have her explain what happened with Ben?
Let's start a twitter campaign to get her on the live show!! I'm making this up as I go along but I have to agree with myself here about the potential of what I just suggested!
I'll know if you all feel the same way if suddenly the internet lights up with this hashtag #BringBackTiara
I thought about using the ChickenEnthusiast hashtag, like Tiara has been doing, but I have to say that the propensity to spell enthusiast improperly is great. I had to sound it out, and I'm a professional writer. It's too much work for tweeters and Instagram fans.
Just go to Twitter, write your tweet, include the hashtag and send it to #BachelorNation and #TheBachelor
Here's an example you can copy and paste, then add you own message.

 Loved the #ChickenEnthusiast! How 'bout the live show next week? #BachelorNation #BringBackTiara
#TheBachelor @chrisbharrison RT pls

Looks like a great season ahead of us. I for one look forward to seeing what happens in the next weeks and how it all unfolds even though we'll be doing it without ever getting to know that Chicken Enthusiast. How 'bout you?

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt, a short novel series based on The Bachelor. The first book is free on Amazon right now. Go straight to the free romance book or find Kim and her bestselling books on her Amazon site.

The Bachelor Begins Filming This Week!

Twenty-five young ladies are packing their two (only!) suitcases this weekend with enough dresses to last them through a bunch of rose ceremonies, beachwear, snow wear, boots, skinny jeans, cute tops, bikinis and enough hair products and makeup to potentially sink Malibu into the ocean.
Filming begins later this week for The Bachelor! But don't get too excited because we won't actually see the episodes until January 4th and until then we need to try to get to like Dancing With the Stars.

The new Bachelor, Ben Higgins, must be in the midst of his own prep to meet all these women-- like obsessively exercising for those shower scenes, having his back waxed (work with me here) and pressing his tuxedos. I'd like to think that Ben won't fall into those traps that make us think we're too old to watch this stupid behavior on the show. You know, those scenes they shoot like two men scrubbing each other's backs in the shower to promote a Brokeback Bachelor publicity stunt, or a woman obsessively kissing a parrot. You have to know some young, hungry producer who just got hired is behind those ridiculous moments. And if you're like me, it's those moments that make me think I might not watch The Bachelor. Boxing dates where someone goes to the ER, Roller Skating when you only have one arm. Those unfunny, humiliating things the producers make the contestants do in reality TV.
WE DON'T LIKE THEM!!! If you follow twitter, not only do people think these scenes are stupid, they lose interest. Men are not your audience and women don't like to see other women humiliated.

Note to Bachelor producers: You are losing the middle age woman as an audience. Just take a look at who sits out there behind Chris Harrison on After the Final Rose. Is it the fans of PUNK'D? Nope. It's middle-aged women. If you're going after the MTV crowd, keep staging stupid schticks like walking topless through L.A. and professing to be a Disney princess but if you want to keep us watching, cut out the stupid shctick.

That said, I'm excited for Ben and all the lovely ladies who will first stay in separate hotel rooms to attend the first rose ceremony then will get to move to the mansion if they make the cut the first night. Out of 25, it's usually about 15 who stay, right?
You have to know that producers are brainstorming right now about how to make girls show up with a heart in a cooler, drive a giant cupcake car, and come in on a horse to make what they believe is better TV. I, for one, think it ruins the show.
What do you think?

The Black Widow Gets Blackmailed on Bachelor in Paradise!

I'm going to make this quick. I'm a novelist and need to get back to writing this week. Damn that BIP and how it distracts me from my work. Anyone else feel the same way?

Monday's show started with Tenley and Carly doing a synchro swimming routine on a bunk. The black box had to be dusted off from when Jillian left the show, but this gave me an idea of how bored these people get when there isn't a scheduled date, group gathering or Chris Harrison sighting.


Ashley I. thought she'd find a sympathetic friend in Joe who still doesn't accept Sam doesn't want him. But no. She started to cry and Joe turned off like a switch had been thrown. He doesn't do tears.

The date card went to Mikey who asked Juelia to join him and they took off for Guadelajara for the Mexican Theatrical Wrestling matches (Nacho Libre), holding hands and kissing.

Tanner is the voice of reason, usually telling the camera what we are all thinking. He did this in Kaitlyn's season too. Love his comments! Carly's too! #giveCarlyherownshow

Joe spends the day bouncing between moping, getting Sam back, and blackmailing her with those incriminating texts she sent him saying "do what you can to stay in Paradise until I get there." Apparently they called each other sweetie the night before he went on the show. Poor Joe. (can't believe I said that!) He's a mess and even said he saw them as Bonnie & Clyde.
Kirk calls the drama Textgate and Samantha back paddles like a whitewater raft in grade 4 water when she hears that Joe has the phone and is prepared to expose her. "I still have feelings for you" she says her brain not thinking fast enough to get herself out of Textgate.
Carly and Kirk go fishing at sunset, something they both love to do and apparently a right of passage for Carly. If Kirk takes a girl fishing, it's serious. Cute!
Meanwhile in Guadalajara, Mikey and Juelia get the fantasy suite card and go the hotel to talk all night. We actually see Mikey in a new light with her. He seems sweet and almost like he could be a good boyfriend, not a muscleman chump.
There's a beach bonfire back at the BIP site and Ashley is giving Joe relationship advice like we are now in an alternate universe where this thirteen year old in a Kardashian body knows what she's doing.??? Joe blows the tip and Sam ignores him like he's invisible. Anyone else reminded of that movie Black Widow at this point?
When new guy, Justin walks in, Joe sees the writing on the wall. He's going to make a play for Sam like the bad friend to Joe he'll turn out to be.
He does, and Sam agrees to go on a date with him. Why does everyone think Sam is so gorgeous? She has stunning eyes and lovely long hair, I'll give her that but I think Clare had it all over Sam. (Miss Clare!) And Sam can't conversate to save her life. Sam's pheromones must be off the chart good. New guy Justin tells her she's a good conversator, like it's an actual word!!!!! #UrbanDictionary (The word is converse, like the shoes, different emphasis.)
Joe goes Kentucky Crazy, as Ashley says on camera. Pretty sure she didn't make that one up.
Carly reminds us on camera that for someone who professes to not like drama, Sam is the Dram Queen."She's creating the drama!" she says. And she's right. I'm wondering if she also texted Justin before he arrived on the show. Looks very suspicious, if you ask me, the way he zero'ed in on Sam. Can't wait for the trail.
The final credit clip shows Juelia and Mikey on the conversating bed with him saying he doesn't like rain, bugs, cold weather, sand, mess, salt water and who knows what else. RED FLAG for poor Juelia.
And if it turns out that Samantha is playing all these guys like a Stradivarius, that was the meanest trick a so-called friend could pull on someone in Bachelor In Paradise. Shame on that witch. I mean Samantha.

After Paradise was tolerable tonight. The guest stars they have on the show, celebrity super-fans, are usually competing for airtime and annoying and tonight was no different. But she was funny in the first half. Jenny Mollen was a better co-host, it was nice to have Dan interviewed, and when Joe came out, a hush fell over the studio audience. He's a mess. And he now has Dan's haircut. Exactly! Joe is stuck in villainville on social media and pitifully tried to say he's been disgusted by his behavior on the show. His family is very upset with him. Of course they showed clips of his worst moments, took a live poll on who believes Joe and he lost. When Juelia came out to join the group, he apologized for everything but underneath his words he was saying "I'm sorry that being mean to you got me in this mess" and judging from what everyone said, Joe is going to be ready for therapy after the smoke clears.
Mean Trick: In a spot meant to reveal the next Bachelor we arrived back from commercial to see CH sitting with Nick V. What? My heart sank and I planned out my Monday Winter nights to involve a new hobby like knitting. Then Ben H came out and it was all a cruel joke. Ben is the new BACHELOR. Hurray! January/February Mondays are a go!

See you next week.
Spoiler Alert: Keep Reading below my name if you're interested who is still a couple...

Kim Hornsby is the author THE HUSBAND HUNT, a novella series that is modeled after The Bachelor TV reality show. She writes under the pen name Kiki Abbott for contemporary romance novellas. As Kim, she's a National Bestselling author of Romantic Suspense and loves to dish about the Bachelor on her blog. If you like this site, hit JOIN THIS SITE on the right sidebar to be notified of a new blog!

Dating or not?
Tanner and Jade - Yes (maybe even engaged)
Carly and Kirk - No (he is still getting over a 2 year relationship, turns out)
Dan and Anyone - Yes (Carly)
Tenley and Anyone - No (She and Ben H have been texting but had to cut it off)
Juelia and Mikey - What do you think?
Joe and himself - Yes
Ashley I or S - Nope

Joe Thinks he Makes Jon his Bitch on Bachelor in Paradise

Who else wakes up Sunday morning, has a cup of coffee, stumbles to feed the dog and then it hits them--BIP is on Tonight!!!!! I'm ashamed to say that with all the blessings in my wonderful, rich life this realization makes the day better. And don't even get me started on how I feel Monday.

I haven't blogged regularly for BIP because it's summer and I have kids, including one I launched to college last weekend, so that would be a big ole shame if I took time out of helping him move on to adulthood to blog about a bunch of horny twenty-somethings looking for "Love" on a Mexico beach.
He's gone, the other teen is still sleeping, the dogs are fed and here we go...

BACHELOR IN PARADISE was shot on a beach north of Puerto Vallarta, an area I found love 24 years ago. As a matter of fact my hubby and I had a very romantic date just to the right of that sweeping shot of the resort and the surf. It's a gorgeous location but the surf seems to be too strong for any private nookie in the water this year. (Good thing Courtney isn't on the show from Ben Flajnik's season!) BIP contestants linger in the safety of the beach edge, talking but that doesn't stop everyone from wearing bikini's 24/7.

Except Tenley who got all doodied up while everyone else was in the pool and then sat poolside so the men could see her. And it worked. She has more than she can handle now.

Here's my one line run down of everyone on the show:















Tenley: Asked for attention and now has it- Three men courting her- Mikey, JJ, New guy
Tanner: Coupled with Jade and loving it
Jade: Coupled with Tanner and loving it. What's with the muu muu dresses?
Clare: Jared date, might be too old for him. She's funny on camera this year with silly voices.
Mikey: Maybe should have gone on Jersey Shore instead
Ben: Couple up with Ashley S, looks like Hugh Jackman
Ashley S: Finally appearing normal, even with her wide eyes. Stuck up for Juelia on camera.
Juelia: had Joe date, he thinks she's dumb, she must be seething watching this. Jon might b better choice
Ashley I: Go home already! Stop crying. Grow up








Lauren: Went home because she thinks she's a "mistress" to a guy who has a g/f. What a producer flop

Jared: Playing it cool, took Clare on bungee jump date. Not over Kaitlyn. Might be a good Bachelor???
JJ: Hanging around Tenley, still saying dumb stuff
Joe: Waiting for Samantha, playing the game, drinks too much, made Jon his bitch.
Jonathan: still buzzing around Juelia, embarrassed by Joe in a rotten moment
Carly: Funny on camera. 'lil spitfire, coupled with Kirk
Kirk: Seems like a stand up guy, coupled with Carly.

Joe is the bad guy this week, belittling people all in the name of a free Mexican vacation. Oh and Joe probably is motivated by free booze. He makes Jon apologize for saying something that only Joe knows was true, and brags about having Jon in his pocket like some villain in a super hero movie. And Jonathan is a single dad for crying out loud!!! So Joe has singlehandedly made a mockery out of the two single parents. Well done Sleaze Ball. And next week it looks like he makes Jon cry and threatens JJ. Sunday should be interesting. I'm hoping Joe gets bit in his jumbly bits by one of those crabs.


On a happy note, the girls all seem to be getting along nicely, except maybe Ashley I who acts like an eleven year old and thinks Clare is "Old!" out of jealous spite.
What do you think, Readers?

Bachelor in Paradise- Who Couples Up First?

Really, Men? Just because you all know that Jade took her clothes off for Playboy and did nude videos, do you really have to drool on her and ignore all the other girls who will eventually take their clothes off for you if you are their loving boyfriend? If you're waiting for the Wild Mustang to emerge, that may never happen. Put your lasso ropes down.

Last night on Bachelor in Paradise we were treated to ladies in heels on the beach, Chris Harrison drinking from a coconut, tears from a sister combo, and an alpha male who didn't understand you don't need to declare this if you are indeed the alpha male. How to alienate the guys! Mikey was laughable by offering to get the other men pumped up by the time they leave  Mikey, you have a long way down when you fall off your self-imposed pedestal.
Hey, wait. I have a question. Why allow sisters? Why let Ashley I bring her non-alumni sister, because we know you BIP producers had to approve this addition? Twice the CRA CRA isn't better TV in this case. Or watchable. We don't like Ashley I that much, and we don't like her "slutty" sister Lauren who thinks anyone over the age of 25 is "old!" and trash talks everyone's physical appearance. I hope those two get voted off ASAP because I already graduated high school and don't want to go back. They are a package deal apparently, and Lauren wants to go home the first night which is good news to me.
Carly, one of my favorites on Chris Soules' season, sets her sights on Kirk, another favorite of mine, and they hit it off immediately. This is the entertainment we want. Not twenty minutes of crying. Carly and Kirk's first kiss and Kirk telling the guys he likes her because she's really cute and really funny makes us feel good. Ahhhhhh!


Below is JJ, Ashley S. and Jared.

Let's list the people on BIP with my initial take on each one, shall we?

Tenley - Just broke up with Kipton after 5 years, too overdressed and overly made up for the beach.
Carly - Funny, cute, candid on the camera
Jillian - Has her own black box on her butt constantly, friend of the sisters
Kirk - Nice guy, hoping he used lots of sunscreen
Ashley I - Thinks she's Jasmine from Aladdin, brought her younger sister
Lauren - Sister to Lauren, immature and unhappy
Jade - Love that she's not wearing makeup or doing her hair
Mikey - Alpha Male who zero'ed in on Lauren but she thinks he's a meathead
JJ - Pink pants, initially annoying, not popular
Jared - In demand, getting over Kaitlyn but went on first date with Ashley I dirt biking
Ben - Don't remember him but he looks super nice!!!
Tanner - Happy go lucky but insecure for a handsome man, went on dinner date with Jade
Juelia - Mom of three year old, widow, seems sweet and ready for love
Jonathan - TMI about having had sisters before!! Settle down Jonathan.
Ashley S - Likes the caged parrots, commandeers one for her shoulder. Might actually be weird.

After we watched the mini "wedding" of Marcus and Lacey (who else thinks they were already married before they strolled down the beach to their wedding?) the drinking began and BIP was off to a good start. Lauren, the sister, got weepy about either wanting to go home, or that she led Mikey on and now can't get rid of him. The sky over the turbulent ocean gets dark and the beach bonfire is lit even though it's probably 100 degrees on that Sayulita beach in May. Lightning flashes on the horizon. It's a beautiful scene and the set decorators and lighting designers do a fabulous job!!!
Jared moves in on Jade in a gentlemanly fashion and Ashley, who likes Jared in a Princess Jasmine way cry/laughs about how all the guys she ever likes go with someone else. Hmmm? I can't imagine why but I'll tweet you my answer when I figure it out, Ashely I. Carly and Kirk giggle and laugh and kiss and snuggle. Cute.
The next morning it looks like Ashley S slept with a parrot. They are caught kissing at breakfast and Dan seems to like birds. Or likes Ashley who relates much better to creatures than people when in a tough social situation.
Ashley I who wakes up puffy and sweaty to the horror of her sister gets the date card and after consulting with her superficial sis on her high school crush and how to ask Jared out, she does. It looks like they have a good time dirt biking and drinking champagne on a beach. Running into the surf, they are about ten feet apart to have their separate swims and this is never a good thing on BIP.
Then the BIP producers try to stir the pot by giving Jade the date card because they know her favorite guy is already on a date with Ashley I. She chooses Tanner and they go out to dinner and talk, kiss a bit, and go swimming in a river in their underwear. (FYI My hubby lived in the Sayulita area for years and knew exactly where the couple went swimming and said that river is not very clean.) At home, I'm happy for Tanner to get some lip action and hugging in because he was ignored on Kaitlyn's season.
Back at the BIP Palapa Mansion, Ashley S leaves quietly in an ambulancia without the parrot, so my guess is one of those bird kisses went too far and he crunched down on her lip. Parrots have rock hard beaks. Or bird flu. Then Dan runs through the jungle and hops into the ambulance in his swim trunks, asking if she's ok. She looks like Montezuma's Revenge has set in.
But what is this? Another person coming down the path to join the crew? It's none other than Claire Crowley looking for love the third time. She was a semi-finalist for Juan Pablo, in BIP last year, and is back with a date card in hand and a smile on her face for her third kick at the cat.
Who will she pick, seeing she hasn't even met everyone yet? This is where we leave things for tonight's episode. Can't wait...

Brief Update:
I'm going to catch up with this blog this week. Watching twice a week is so fun! Tanner and Jade, Carly and Kirk, Ashley S and Ben, Ashley I and her tears...

Kim Hornsby is the Best Selling Author of The Dream Jumper Series, a cross between Inception and Castle.

Did Kaitlyn have a Grudge on The Bachelorette?

The Bachelorette Finale began last night with a clip of Kaitlyn saying "I'm in love with two guys."

Or was she?
On one hand, she had Nick Viall, a late comer to the show, a bit of a teen-talking player who was having a second go around at this show because Kaitlyn wanted him there.
On the other hand we had Shawn Booth, a man totally in love with Kaitlyn, seemingly brimming with hatred for Nick. If you read my blog regularly, you know I have favored Shawn for the last few weeks. He fought hard to end up with Kaitlyn, even forgiving/understanding why she took it too far with Nick. More on that later.
We kick off the evening in Malibu California, in a rented house on the beach where the men will meet the Family Bristowe.

There's the mother, the father, their current spouses (the parents are divorced), and Kaitlyn's sister, Haley. Leslie, the mother is concerned to hear that one of the men in the finale is Nick. She wasn't a fan of his on Andy's season.
When Nick arrives in a guffuffle of awkward shyness and fast talking/slurring, Leslie takes him aside for the Spanish Inquisition. They cry together, both getting emotional over their shared love for Kaitlyn, basically. Hmmm? Really?

I do believe at this point that Nick loves Kaitlyn. Or thinks he does. My hubby does not. And Nick's hair suddenly looks better. The thing I like most about this man is his bracelets, though. He admits to the sister that his motivation to join the Bachelor for Andy's season was to travel and that's a shallow admission that shouldn't be spoken out loud even though it's probably true of most of the alumni.
The two lovebirds neck at the car and Nick leaves her breathless.

The next day is Shawn's turn to meet the family and he comes bearing a large flower bouquet and gifts for Haley's children, who aren't there. Looks like he even brought the Booth Family jam or something in a mason jar. Mike, Kaitlyn's father, is wearing the same shirt as Shawn, a good sign, and a toast is made at the table, by Shawn, a toast to put the Toastmasters' Club to shame.
Shawn is eloquent. He makes eye contact, he speaks from the heart, not like the day before when Nick could not look them in the eye.
By the end of the visit, the Family Bristowe all seem to be on Team Shawn. Haley tells her sister she definitely is.






A day or two later, Kaitlyn waits for Nick to board a catamaran in Marina del Rey and when he does they take off on the kissing cruise. Soon after they hit open ocean, I thought about getting myself a Dramamine or those sea band bracelets because the sailboat was riding the 12 foot waves like a son of a gun and I felt queasy. Good thing I wasn't the Bachelorette, or I'd be feeding the fish at the back of the boat. But the lovers were undaunted. There is a sweetness to their relationship, I'll admit.
Cue the romantic acoustic guitar music playing the Bachelor poignant love song, and it's suddenly dark, the ship has landed and it's time for drinks. Nick has a condo with a picturesque patio so they sit outside and drink wine and kiss. I loved Kaitlyn's sparkly/shimmery eye shadow. Did anyone notice this? Nice effect on camera.

Nick gives her a framed photo of them with a lovely poem he's written. I don't think K understood it was poetry. She kept saying they were nice words written down. Ahem. That's poetry, Canuck! It doesn't have to rhyme anymore. (Please remember that I'm Canuck and I know they don't teach this new-age poetry in Canada.)
Cut to the studio audience, (everyone must've been told to wear a colorful cocktail dress with a bold necklace,) Chris Harrison in his purple suit and pink shirt, stands by Nick's family and tells us that what's is coming up will amaze us.

The next day we find ourselves at Malibu's Saddle Rock Winery (probably owned by one of the producer's cousins) where Shawn and Kaitlyn are very awkward with each other. Aside from checking to see if he's wearing sunscreen, she looks like she's about to break up with him. Kaitlyn is in an emotional crisis, because she either loves Nick more, or loves them both and is so confused it ruins her date with Shawn.

Worry sets in on my couch. Genuine fear.
Later, they meet at a little cottage where things are slightly better. Shawn gives her a memory jar he's made in craft class the day Nick had his catamaran date (kidding) and Kaitlyn is touched. It's full of pictures of them, notes about them, and trinkets to remind them of their dates.
When we cut to the studio audience again, there is a quiet hush and C.H. let's all this sink in. Nick's little sis looks worried, especially after C.H. says "looks like the parents like Shawn better."

The next day we get to see everyone waking up. Having read the tell all book by Courtney, I know from a production standpoint how this strange morning goes down. The film crew comes over, you pretend to get out of bed, you must stare off at the scenery thoughtfully for 127 takes, then they leave until Neil Lane shows up at the men's door. I'd like to mention here that this was where we lost Nick on Andy's season. And this time, he fears the worst but no. Kaitlyn does not come to his door, it's Neil Lane!
Big sparklers are chosen, both men get dressed, Kaitlyn cleans up good, and the big night begins.

The final rose ceremony is at the mansion with the perennially wet driveway. Kaitlyn steps from the limo in a gorgeous gown and heads to the swimming pool to await two proposals. We're thinking that the object of her undying love must be Nick because he's told her to cut him loose the moment she knows it's not him and you'd have to be pretty hard-hearted to let him get to this point if it isn't him.
Or you might have a grudge against him and want to get back at him for something.
Nick arrives, cuing us to the fact that this is a death sentence for their relationship. The first one to get out of the limo always leaves. Nick has no idea, gives his speech and pulls out the ring but Kaitlyn stops him. She's crying too hard to speak. He's shocked, but gracious until they start arguing about whether Kaitlyn ever loved him or not. Long story short, Nick insists she doesn't, is pissed and leaves feeling foolish and like a ___ ing joke. Oh my. Nick's little sister is crying in the studio audience front row now.
Shawn arrives and I'm giddy with excitement. He doesn't know if he's first or second, but he's hoping. Has she told him he's the one again? Maybe. His speech about loving her is beautiful, he gets down on one knee, proposes and Kaitlyn says yes! Finally she can tell him she loves him and does, over and over. They are the two "happiest kids in all the land." PHEW!
The Final Rose comes on next and it's three months later. But if you're thinking of C.H. in that studio audience with Nick's family, it's still then. He introduces Shawn and Kaitlyn, the happy couple, and they look soooo happy and cute and in love.

People, can I say that this is why we watch this show. For this moment. Not for a feud between two men, Bachelor Producers! Although I feel badly for Nick's family, I'm excited for the happy couple. I predict they will marry by Spring.
Shawn and Kaitlyn leave the stage and Nick comes out. His teenager way of speaking is completely gone. He's expressing himself perfectly, graciously, in understandable full sentences. He's not touching his face nervously, he's not pulling at his collar, tugging his earlobe. Is that because he's not lying? Was he lying before when he was doing all that squirming with Kaitlyn and her family? C.H. asks questions but can't let Nick answer and keeps interrupting him. Is that because he feels Nick got enough TV time to clear his name from the Andy season? AND, (here's an idea!) did Kaitlyn keep him until the end to help him clear his villainous name? Maybe. Nick and Kaitlyn were telephone buddies before she became the Bachelorette. This has been explained. They had a pre-existing relationship over electronic devices. Maybe Kaitlyn said something like this: "If I get on, I'll take you to the end, dump you, and America will feel badly for you, okay, Nick?") Or, did K find out something bad about Nick when she and Shawn had their first private, off camera conversation and was stringing him along since then? With a big ole grudge.

Shawn comes out, the two men shake hands and try to not sit beside each other on the tiny couch.Nick doesn't hate Shawn with a red hot fury but Shawn hates Nick that much. I believe (from reading between the lines) that Nick said some stuff to make Shawn just plain despise his character. Maybe he admitted to all the guys that he came on the show to clear his name. Nick won't say, but he heard something. Both men admit they wasted time by being immature and should have spent less time worrying about the competition.
Shawn tells us that he spoke very little on camera about Nick but when he did, that was what the producers chose to use for his interview. He indicates the producers liked this angle instead of going with the love stories developing. And time is wasted again with C.H. going on and on talking to these men about their differences, trying to stir the pot, instead of asking Kaitlyn and Shawn, "hey, what's next?"
After the commercial break K comes out and we wonder if this new, nice Nick will be gracious or hit her with a social zinger on national TV, like he did to Andy when he revealed they slept together. K barely hugs him, looks mad, and something is going on. Kaitlyn is very mad, standoffish and strangely nervous to see Nick. It looks like she's trying to not hit him.

Probably Shawn told her what Nick said to make him hate the man and it was about her. Maybe that's why her resting bitch face is so prevalent throughout the interview.
But Nick is also mad, mad she let him almost propose again, knowing him the way she did. I was wondering about that too, thinking it wasn't nice of Kaitlyn, until he used the only ammunition he had against her by saying she told him she loved him. Twice. The world already knows they slept together so he couldn't use that zinger again. She's not supposed to say I love you and that was a hit below Kaitlyn's sparkly belt. Not nice, Nick.
Bachelorette Dating Handbook.
Rule number #7 Do not tell any of the men you love them until the proposal or you will be considered in breach of your contract.
When we come back from the commercial break, Nick's gone and the happy couple are back. They can't wait to go to Starbucks, be seen in public, be normal and Shawn can't wait to defend his woman against all the cyber-bullying that Kaitlyn has taken. Sweet!
Today's news tells us that Kaitlyn went shopping for wedding dresses and that she bet someone $1,000 that she and Shawn will not break up. And to a Canuck, that is A LOT of money!!! We are notoriously cheap.
Well done and congratulations go to both Kaitlyn and Shawn who I am sure will be married and happy in another few years. I can't wait for her tell all book to explain what exactly happened during the taping of this show. I bet we missed a lot of juicy stuff! I, for one, would like to know exactly what Nick said to make Shawn hate him. But Shawn is too much of a gentleman to say it on national T.V., I think.

Bachelor in Paradise airs on Sundays and Mondays starting this weekend. Looks terrible/fascinating in a train wreck sort of a way!!!
If you got to the end of this lengthy blog, you must enjoy reading! I invite you to follow my blog by scrolling up to join this site on Google friend connect.

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt, a free Amazon romance ebook that is based on a TV dating show like The Bachelor. She also writes award-winning, bestselling suspense for which she thankfully uses an editor.
The Dream Jumper Series