Tuesday, March 1, 2016

The Bachelor Breaks the Cardinal Rule!!!!

Jamaica Mon, on The Bachelor!

Ben has three women left at this point and all three women are in love with the hunky software salesman from Indiana. Or they think they are. It's my opinion that at this point they have a form of Stockholm Syndrome and are in love with the only man they've seen for months, a man who is made out to be the next James Bond and their feelings in this captivity have led them to believe they love Ben. It's clever how the producers limit their time with the Bachelor and control the women's experiances. That's why the Fantasy Suite dates are essential. They actually get to spend uninterrupted hours to find out who this guy really is. Forget the bed. The women don't have cameras in their faces, directors telling them where to stand, producers prompting them for dirt on another girl.

The first date last night was Caila and Ben's float on a raft down a river to the Jerky Center where they ate barbeque and drank from coconuts. Caila was worried and quiet and not herself and Ben sensed it. Conversation was stilted.
Later, at the dinner table, she confessed her worry about the other relationships. He basically told her to trust him so she did, and bravely revealed that she loved him. Fireworks went crazy in the background as they stood in thigh deep (probably cold) water to pose and kiss. They woke up the next morning and blissfully kissed, drank coffee, and smiled a lot, like lovers do.

Lauren's date with Ben involved releasing newborn sea turtles to the ocean, an activity I missed doing by one day recently in Nicaragua. (There were no new hatches the day I was at the turtle beach.) Lauren and Ben had loads of one day old Hawksbills to watch as they hobbled to the sea instinctively. Who wasn't moved to almost tears to see these babies head to what will probably be their early demise in the ocean. Not many make it. Not like in Finding Nemo.
That night, Lauren and Ben found a reggae band on the street and sat at the Bachelor dinner vignette to read the Fantasy Suite card. Lauren told Ben that he's the man of her dreams and also revealed that she loved him. For the first time in Bachelor history the Bachelor said it back and I almost fell off my chair and spilled my two buck Chuck. Are they allowed to say that? He did! These two seemed very much in love and I pretty much had this contest all sewn up at this point but wait...

The next day with Jo Jo went swimmingly. She wears skimpy, sexy clothes, have you noticed? Her bikini at YS Falls was strange and highlighted her assets. She and Ben swam and talked and kissed and when she revealed she loved him, Ben said he loved her too. Jo Jo's mouth feel open. WHAT? She took this to mean that she is the ONE, I was pretty sure, and fell the rest of the way in love with Ben. Isn't this the Bachelor Cardinal Rule #1? Do not say those love words until your propose to that one girl at the very end??? Whether the show's psychologist warned Ben or not, we'll never know.

The Fantasy Suite card presented itself at dinner and off they went to the Romeo and Juliet room for privacy. In the morning, they fed each other fruit, declared their love for each other and off Ben went to ponder what to do after telling two women that he loves them. He forgot to tell Caila that he loves her! But wait. He doesn't exactly.
When Caila decided to surprise him with a visit to his guest house on the other side of the island, he sat her down on the cold hard stairs outside his suite and delivered the cold, hard truth. She had to leave. She started to, then got out of the car to ask him when he knew he wasn't in love with her. Good move, Caila! She got a satisfactory answer and cried all the way to the airport.
At the rose ceremony sisterwives Lauren and Jo Jo wondered where Caila got to until Ben arrived to say he'd sent her home. They toasted awkwardly, group hugged awkwardly, and tried to smile even though all three of them knew that one of them would be crying their eyes out in the next few days. Well, maybe two of them. Ben is a soft-hearted guy.

The Women Tell All was filmed Saturday night in Los Angeles and the Chicken Enthusiast was invited to attend--and Sheila, the little chicken who she loves. Sheila had to fly cargo, unlike a tiny dog who can go under the seat in front but the little chicken handled her trip to Hollywood like a trooper. Tiara, the chicken enthusiast had never been more proud of a chicken in her life. Sheila was held by Chris Harrison and Elan Gale for selfies, got on-camera time and even squawked at an appropriate moment during the taping. We aren't sure if Tiara will get edited out but the fact that they invited someone who was let go the first night, was an exciting honor for our girl from Washington State.
Tune in Monday to see if Sheila the chicken gets air time, if they cut away to Tiara's mid-riff showing outfit or if they call out Leah for lying about throwing Lauren B under the bus!

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