The Farmer Picks a Wife, The Farmer Picks a Wife, Hi Ho the Derry O

The season finale of The Bachelor (Prince Farming) opened on Monday with Chris Soules visiting his family at his parent's very flat, snowy farm in Iowa. My eyeballs froze just looking at the frosty breaths of Chris and Whitney as she ran across the icy driveway to his waiting arms. Once inside the warmth, Whitney charmed everyone to the nth degree, even making Chris's dad cry during her dinner toast. Whitney is the perfect choice for this Bachelor. Forget the squeaky voice, Whitney is in love with him, will move to Iowa, is beautiful, accomplished and all in.
Chris's Mom, Linda, is a lovely, warm, interesting person with a face that says the Good Life in Iowa and tells Whitney that she "could take her and love her, just like that but it's Christopher's choice." Everyone loves everyone else and Whitney heads off in the black SUV in her plaid shirt dress, sure that she's going to be giving Linda grandchildren soon.

The Soules boys gather in the tool shop for a beer and a romance talk and nothing gets decided.
The next day, the sisters take Chris aside to ask him about Becca. Soon it becomes clear that Chris really likes Becca but she might not like him quite as much.

Skip forward ten hours and we know that Becca likes Chris but isn't all in. The family likes her and laughs a lot with her but doubts that she's ready for a proposal. And they don't even know about the BIG V situation! I wonder what they thought when they realized that Becca had never been in love or had a lover. The talk that Becca has with Chris's mother Linda, is golden. Every young girl out there should take heed. Linda says it all, so beautifully.




Here's my theory on how Becca got this far when her relationship with Chris was so tentative. I believe that weeks ago, he really liked her as much as Whitney. Then he met Becca's family, loved them, LOVED THEM! and wanted to be a part of that. Then, all of a sudden, it was the fantasy suite, she was truthful about her lack of experience, and that was not an obstacle for them. Had Becca's personality merged with Whitney's attitude, Chris wouldn't have needed to make a choice. Chris had a real connection with Becca and kudos to Whitney for breaking through that because, you know what? A long marriage is based on mutual commitment. Not doubts and distance, or initial chemistry. Chris goes to Becca's hotel room for a down and dirty talk and the next day shows Whitney his house, his farm, his combine, and it's at that moment that Chris Soules falls completely in love with Whitney.

 

With Becca gone from his heart now, you can almost see the green light in front of Chris and Whitney. It's a beautiful thing.
The proposal the next day is as nice as the release of Becca from the obligation of trying to feel love. Of course Becca is sad. Her boyfriend broke up with her. But I think she understands that Whitney is ready, in love, and the best choice for Chris. She's not being asked to leave a SoCal lifestyle, give up her guarded virginity and hurry up the process when she's not sure. Whitney is sure.
After the Final Rose with Chris Harrison and the studio audience we see Chris, three months later, talking to CH in Los Angeles about his engagement to Whitney.
Why, in God's name, does CH keep harping on Chris about Becca? "What if ..." The audience clearly feels that CH is harping because when Chris answers, they clap in relief. Chris is a gentleman. Chris Soules that is, and  as such, he is hesitant to say anything to diminish any relationship he had with any girl. Becca comes out to the stage and politely admits she wasn't ready and that's that.
After the commercial break, Becca leaves, Whitney comes out to the stage, the couple looks predictably happy, and Whitney verifies her maturity by saying she didn't watch the show. Not anyone else's dates but hers. Well done, Whitney! Then CH verifies his immaturity as a TV host and harps on the fact that Whitney should watch to see how conflicted Chris was at the end. SHUT UP Chris B. Harrison!!!
Whitney is funny, sweet, in love and Chris is lucky. The parents are "over the top" while the rest of America wishes they had in laws like these two.
Making babies-- "They will be cute," she says. "Bleep, Ya," Chris says.
Ashley S. -- Bachelor in Paradise? Still not sure. "I suppose I might be there," she says, but Chris H takes that as a yes.

Okay now, what do we think about Britt and Kaitlyn as co-Bachelorettes?  STUPID IDEA! When they say Bachelor Nation was divided, they meant that Chris H likes Britt and Mike Fleiss, the creator, likes Kaitlyn. Bachelor Nation was not split down the middle by any stretch of the imagination. Go on Twitter to see. Team Kaitlyn was WAY ahead! Britt was barely in the running. Bachelor Producer propaganda.

I feel badly for both girls. They are both very uncomfortable with this totally stupid idea, and Chris H puts them on the spot asking them how the show will go down. How are they going to do it? Hey Chris, if you don't know what's going to happen, who does? CH's interview with the sparkly twins is as stupid and redundant as I've ever seen on this show. WTF. It made me mad. The whole thing looks like mud wrestling but without the mud.

Shame on you Bachelor producers, shame on you. Bad ending to a fun season.


Kim Hornsby is a bestselling author of romantic suspense and the romantic series The Husband Hunt, modeled after The Bachelor.

I'm Superficial and Girls Bicker on The Bachelor

Last night on The Women Tell All, the eliminated Bachelor contestants on Prince Farming's season got a chance to do damage control on their public images and get some questions answered by the Bachelor himself. Or not.

This week's recap is going to be brief because let's face it, not much happened. Girls interrupted each other while arguing high school style and Chris Harrision got to plug his new book. More on that later.
First up, Chris and Chris crashed some Bachelor viewing parties around the Los Angeles area and got to drink shots and kiss middle aged mothers high on corn tequila on the mouth.

I understand it's fun to walk into a party of girls and be celebrities but I think I'm done being amused by this. Why not go to a hospital to say hello? Counteract all the silliness.

The first topic on the Tell All set that got a lot of yelling and interrupting was Britt's sincerity and Carly shooting off her mouth about that. Carly loved talking to the camera on this season. She is an entertainer by trade and loves to entertain. And Britt is a crier.

She's as sweet as she is indecisive, as she is emotional. Imagine her makeup to be an indication of her raw emotions. She still loves Chris and is adamant that she could've built a life with him in Iowa. I for one judged her readiness for farm life by the amount of makeup she wears and the fact that she sleeps in it. Showering or not, as is this case, might have worked in her favor on the farm. I voted against her but who knows. She really liked Chris.
Then Kelsey, the widow who told the cameras that she loved her story (widowhood) was in the hot seat to stick her feet farther in her mouth. Let's just say that people who need psychological help rarely know they do, or are willing to admit on national TV that they have issues. Bad guys do not lump themselves in with the bad guys of this world. Kelsey doesn't see what the girls are saying. She's totally stumped why everyone ganged up on her unless it was jealousy over her big words.She is a great apologizer, even though she clearly doesn't know why she's apologizing and qualifies each apology with a "If I...then I'm sorry."
 Had I been one of those girls on the panel last night, I would've simply said "If you did fake that panic attack to get Chris's attention, even if you can't admit it to us, can't admit it to anyone, and won't even say it out loud to yourself, but you know deep down that you did, then I urge you to seek counseling. Maybe it was a game strategy gone wrong but we don't see anyone else doing this and your behavior on the show indicates a troubled mind. Get help.
 The metaphor for Kelsey's personality was asking for a tissue (which they DO NOT allow on The Bachelor,) then asking for Chris's silk handkerchief and blowing her nose in it, chuckling flirtatiously that she wasn't going to give it back. That's Kelsey in a nutshell-- selfish and narcissistic. She made great TV! She finished her moments in the hot seat by bragging about how she challenged herself and is proud of her progress in her grieving process after she became a widow and had to undergo such horrible injustices. Juelia, whose husband committed suicide, said very little about this, to her credit.

Last night I anticipated a big reveal from Ashley S. or at least a hint at what her game was by mumbling silliness and wandering around the show like she was on Quaaludes. I was disappointed. She made about as much sense in the hot seat as she did on the show, still stringing us along, not breaking a smile, saying ridiculous things.
CH asked her outright to do Bachelor in Paradise to which she said, "It's so weird. We're all on television." That sounded like a no to me but the Bachelor producers will think of something to get that girl on the show. The dichotomy of her perfectly groomed Grace Kelly beauty against her gibberish is fascinating. She won't do Bachelor in Paradise. She's not interested in romance or being on TV enough. I think she wasn't interested in Chris and decided to have some fun to make the experience of being on the show worthwhile. This girl is a long distance runner, has a good job, is not a hair stylist at all. She's the assistant controller at Lynx Chemical Group. Anna Kendrick has asked Ashley Salter on Twitter to coach her for interviews. #nokidding #ComedicControl
Then Jade got to talk to Chris Soules about him blogging on how awkward it was to see her nude photos. He tried to explain that he felt he hadn't seen the real Jade and for that reason did not choose her. Soules is not a wordsmith.
He has a hard time expressing himself, especially in situations where he's backed into a corner. This confrontation was about as awkward for him as the photos, I'd say. Note: If Jade is so innocent and sweet, why did she wear a sexy, clingy, red, cleavage-revealing dress like a smoking hot centerfold? Cough, Wild Mustang, Cough.
Kaitlyn got to talk next and didn't ask to sit next to Chris on the stage like the others. She kept her distance, asking him how they could be so close in the fantasy suite and then get canned the next day. Chris stumbled along like a deer caught in the headlights with no clear explanation why he picked Becca instead of Kaitlyn. Personally, I think Kaitlyn needs to find herself a man who can keep up to her comedically, like Jimmy Kimel. She needs someone with Wayyyyy more personality. Did anyone else think Kaitlyn had new collagen in her lips? She looked different.

And that's where I stopped taking notes because nothing new was being said. Until the very end when Chris Harrison announced that he's written a romance novel and it will be out in May. Okay, this is a whole other blog because I'm going to be the Carly on this one and just say that it's damned difficult to write a romance novel and taking advantage of his platform as the host of a romance show doesn't mean he can write. Secretly I'm jealous that he probably has more sales than my four books and four novellas put together and his hasn't even published yet. Pass me another sour grape.

Things that made me go hmmmmm: Jordan didn't speak, Ashley I's bare to there dress turned sideways when she leaned, thereby making her boobs go off center, Kaitlyn's lips, MacKenzie's silence about aliens, Sammy getting her 2 cents in, Britt not defending Kelsey, why Sanderson Po's family hasn't sued Kelsey for overusing and defaming his name and Chris H. thinking he's the next Nicolas Sparks. Oh and my superficiality on this blog.

Over and out until next week.


Kim Hornsby is an award winning author and the Bestselling author of Romantic Suspense novels available on Amazon and writes a novella series called The Husband Hunt, that is modeled after The Bachelor. She lives in Seattle with two very bad dogs, two very lovely children, and one very funny husband.

Popping out Babies on THE BACHELOR

THREE HOURS OF THE BACHELOR!
And that would be a wonderful dream come true if the first hour wasn't filled with interviews and there wasn't at least another hour of commercials inside the last two hours. Once we caught up with skipping through the commercials, and caught up, it was frustrating.
Must tape the show. Must tape the show. Honestly, it's not worth it to watch 'live'.

Last night's first installment of the Bachelor Event had Chris H interviewing Kelsey, one of the most controversial contestants ever on The Bachelor. She's in awe that she was so misunderstood, and used words like "emotional and tumultuous day," "too many emotions amassing," and "as a mental health professional". The brilliant editing spliced in her most catty, weird moments to counter what she was saying in defense of herself and if you haven't seen it, those thirty seconds are worth all the commercials.

Chris Soules' interview was boring.

Andy Dorfman's interview was filled with tears and sniffing about how she and Josh just couldn't make it work. They are too similar, it seems. Chris H was hoping to hear they might reconcile but he knows about breakups as well as anyone, his own eighteen year marriage imploded 2 years ago.

That was the first hour.

The second hour began with the Deadwood Rose Ceremony. Taking Megan aside to talk, Chris looked nervous. Both parties realized that they just aren't very far down that love path and Megan left almost voluntarily, with dignity in tact, (unlike Ashley I. last week.)

The rules said another girl must go but hadn't Chris H announced there were no rules?
Yes!
Pack up everyone because we are all going to... wait for it...going to...Now you could tell the girls were waiting to hear Tahiti but instead got Iowa.
Carly, the cutie, said it best when she pointed at the camera and squealed "We're goin' to Iowa!"

The Bachelor crew set up the girls at a funky old hotel in Des Moines, Iowa, 3 hours from Arlington, where Chris's farm is located. Good idea because there is no hotel in Arlington.There is no movie theater, no restaurant, no people, and no nothing except a church and a few abandoned stores and a bank. But we will see this ourselves in another twenty minutes.

 Much to Britt's jealous chagrin, Jade got the date to Arlington, "where hills and prairie meet."

Overdressed in jeans, a jacket and boots for her wander around Chris's farm and town she meets Chris at his bachelor pad. If you didn't watch, imagine a ghost town with a feed store and a locked up church. There is charm and potential in the hamlet of what used to be Arlington and I bet real estate is super cheap seeing there isn't even a Starbucks, just a coffee pot in an abandoned office that gets turned on by whoever gets there first in the morning.
Turned out everyone had gone to the high school football game so off the two lovebirds went. Jade met the parents, kissed Chris on the football field after the game, toured the high school and tried to decide if being from this town was as bad as posing for Playboy. She held off telling him seeing there were stars in his lovelorn eyes. Why burst his bubble?
The next date was with Whitney, the chipmunk-voiced nurse who is looking like the most mature of all the girls. She really, truly likes Chris, I think. Who ever knows? And she got on well with his 3 best friends who joined them for drinks after a day of taking photos of each other around Des Moines.
Meanwhile, back in the hotel room, Carly is jonesing for a road trip to Arlington. Everyone goes but Jade who's already traumatized by yesterday's outing. She stays behind to practice saying "I posed for Playboy."
Off in the truck to Arlington, Iowa! Carly is a firecracker! She is definitely not there for the right reasons but I like that girl's spunk. #Carlyforbachelorette

After a shocking day of seeing nothing in Arlington except locked doors and the town preacher who wears a COD T-shirt (thereby telling everyone what there is to do in Arlington,) the girls turn around and head back to Des Moines wondering how gratifying it would be to just pop out babies in Arlington. Wait until you actually give birth ladies. You will never use that pop out phrase again to describe the most painful moment in a woman's life.
 Back in the purple carpeted 'suite' Jade unloads her Playboy story onto Carly's shoulders and Carly delivers the best line of the night, "Oh Mom, don't bother googling my wife."
The group date leaves out Becca for some reason and off Chris goes the next day with Kaitlyn, Britt and Carly to ice skate in the big hockey arena but no one can skate! Not even Chris, for some reason!

Britt lies that she LOVED Arlington and slides in to the GF spot, Carly inserts herself into the moral conscience zone saying she must tell Chris how fake Britt is, and Kaitlyn sneaks into the forgotten zone and expresses her concern that she hasn't had alone time since the first two weeks. She gets the rose and that makes smoke come out of Britt's ears who thinks she's the front runner and doesn't want to take just anyone home to meet her Dad next week.

Thunderbolts fly from Britt's eyes and a very squirm-worthy conversation ensues about Britt not wanting to be 2nd choice or 3rd choice for Chris. After recognizing how hard this love process is, he leaves, a gesture that is quickly becoming his signature move on this show.

And that's where we leave it for tonight.

Carly is Zak's Sister! & Naughty Guru Tries to Seduce The Bachelor

Smelly Girl, Creepy Girl, Naughty Guru, and Big Eyes all vie for Chris Soules' hand in The Bachelor's Prince Farming this week. Carly with the big eyes, is Zak's sister from Desiree's season but more on that later.
Santa Fe, New Mexico is the spectacular setting for the show which has Megan all happy to finally be leaving the country. Somebody needs to check her map of North America and then put her passport away before she puts on a sombrero and makes a fool of herself.

The first date is with Carly, a one on one that has even me watching the TV through my fingers from embarrassment. The love guru, Tziporah, who's given name is probably Janet or Karen, visibly flirts with Chris at the beginning. Tell me this look isn't naughty.
Then she has Chris and Carly breathing each other's recycled air and feeling each other's feet and hips in an effort to bring them closer spiritually.

Man, these two were such good sports that it wasn't until the guru asked Carly to take off Chris's pants that Carly admitted her hesitation. You probably won't remember Carly from Desiree's season but she is Zak's sister who sang with her strange-eyed guitar playing bro to serenade Desiree in hometowns. Zak bought Desiree that ring in anticipation, remember?

The family is obviously known for their eyes. Carly's are HUGE, like those Big Eyes paintings.

Chris and Carly were finally released from the guru's torture and had a heart to heart talk in a lodge-style setting where they both revealed their insecurities about not being good enough. Note to Carly: Stop saying "like." Cue the romantic guitar Bachelor music aaaannnnnndddd Kiss time.
Back from commercial we saw Ashley poo-poo ing Kelsey's widowhood and although we didn't want to diss a widow, we kind of wondered about Kelsey.
The group date involved Megan, Jade, Kailyn, Whitney, Mackenzie, Becca, Samantha, Ashley and Kelsey. If you don't know who Samantha is, don't worry. Neither does Chris. Megan is the girl who thinks she's in Mexico, BTW.
Against the backdrop of red cliffs and eagles flying in the early morning light, the girls headed off to the Rio Grande for some river rafting! In full makeup! And extensions! Soon enough Cisco the rafter man had them dressed in dorky lifejackets and helmets, armed with paddles and quaking in their tennis shoes with fear about going over the side of the raft. With good reason, it appeared.
Jade fell in but was pulled out by the raft guy even though Kaitlyn tried but her arms are as big around as a coke can. Once out of the boats, Chris rubbed Jade's hypothermic feet and they drank champagne to celebrate. The real drama was short-haired Kelsey who seemed to LOVE bitching to the camera and quickly revealed an "I will not be ignored" Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction - ish quality to her dating style.
As her fake laugh bounced off the Rio Grande Canyon walls for hours after they left, Kelsey developed a strategic game plan.
The group date party at the Red Sage had former contestant, drunk girl Jordan, the twerker, showing up, having driven from Colorado to ask for a second chance. Chris Harrison said he was surprised to see her, but you have to know the producers ok'ed this bold move. The girls' claws came out when they saw Jordan joining the party and Whitney argued with Ashley about not being mean to Jordan. Ashley's plan was to get all the girls to freeze out the newcomer. cough, high school, cough. There just isn't enough mascara for another girl! Then when Chris decided to say bye bye to Jordan, Ashley joined in the fake smiles and hugs to wish her happy trails.
Chris Harrison said today that this is a particularly catty group and I have to think that Ashley isn't helping.
Whitney got the rose on the date, almost like Chris knew she opposed Ashley's bully plan and then the Kim Kardashian look alike went off to her bed with her bestie to pout and talk stink.


Britt gets the next date and the card indicates they are doing something sky high which sends the once front runner into hysterics because she's terrified of heights.

And showers it appears. Britt hasn't showered since she arrived and the other girls are either envious or repulsed. I can't tell. Strange thing is that she has gorgeous hair. Bad dye job but clean looking hair!
Very very early in the morning, Chris wakes up Britt in a dorm full of bedded girls, tells Carly to shhh and kisses Britt to wake her up. Okay, nobody kisses that enthusiastically at 4:30 without brushing their teeth. I have to think that she had a heads up warning. According to the girls, Britt applies fresh makeup for sleeping but doesn't shower. Hmm.
The date involves a sunrise hot air balloon ride that Britt is so excited for, we wonder about that fear of heights when they cruise over the Rio Grande Gorge a hundred feet up and Britt is kissing and smiling. Liar liar smelly red pants on fire.

Speaking of liars, after playing What's Under the Sheets in Chris's bed, Britt heads back to the hotel room and Kelsey slips away to execute her diabolical plan to use her story to secure a rose.
This is where it gets creepy. Kelsey tells her story about being widowed by Sanderson Po (I guess he was a singer or something and she feels the need to drop his name even though he's no longer with us) and tears are plentiful. Chris consoles her and then they kiss. Or rather she tries to kiss him. Personally, I think Chris felt how inappropriate this was after her revelation and tears, and pulled back. Then she dove in for another kiss. If Chris could've seen what this widow was saying about her story to the camera, it was very Fatal Attraction. Guidance counselor be damned. This gal needs therapy. She loves her story. Her story is amazing. Kelsey said "I know this is Chris's story but it's also my story. This is the unfolding of someone who's been through something so tragic and you get to watch her pick up the pieces and grow into another person and another relationship." Then she suggested we tune in Monday nights at 8pm to watch her amazing transformation. Huh? The producers must've been salivating at this juicy footage. What a wacko.
Dressed up and ready for her God-given rose, Kelsey appears to be the cat who ate the canary on the couch at the cocktail party. In a private interview, Ashley is jealous that Kelsey's story is so much better than hers, like that's the criteria for catching the bachelor's attention. Too bad Ashley doesn't have a dead husband. Sensing what needs to be done, Chris cancels the cocktail party and tells CH he knows who has to leave. Dude, get her outta there before your rabbit gets boiled.

But Kelsey slipped off to the ladies room where CH said she turned off her microphone then ended up on the floor outside the bathroom wailing into a now turned on microphone, having a 'panic attack' with a medic in purple gloves. Then 'To Be Continued' flashed on the screen, a new thing for The Bachelor to keep viewers in pain all week.
Personally, I don't need to wait all week to see Kelsey being helped to her feet by Chris (who she clings to desperately) and him toying with the idea of keeping her around for her own health. This is how I think it should go down:
The producers bar Kelsey from seeing The Bachelor until she regains her composure. No Chris until she's back to normal. Then she might stand up, not receive a rose and realize the timing of her story was all wrong. Then someone should give that girl an Emmy for acting, not in a reality show but in a drama!
Last but not least, is Megan donning a sobrero. Okaaay. I think some body needs to get a little sober-o before they start talking to the camera. Just sayin'.


Kim Hornsby is the Best Selling Author of THE DREAM JUMPER'S PROMISE, an award-winning novel set in Hawaii that asks the question, what happened the day he never returned home?
She also writes a whimsical series The Husband Hunt, much like The Bachelor. Free on Amazon.

The Bachelor Begins!

Readers: The photos have been removed because of the threat of a lawsuit from a Copyright troller on the internet. They buy a popular photo and then threaten to sue you if you use it. apparently it's a new business. Until I figure out how to afford photos or find free photos of The Bachelor, I'm leaving out the pics. :(

Monday night had us Bachelor fans eagerly parked in front of the HDTV waiting for the event that got us through the busy Christmas season, gave us reason to get up Monday morning with a smile, and kept us humming all day.
The Bachelor is back!
And Farmer Chris, who we really liked on The Bachelorette, is the guy looking for his wife this winter and describing this experience as the best opportunity a man could have. Um... Okay. I guess Chris never wanted to be an astronaut on an expedition to the moon or to eat a Klondike bar. But I'm getting ahead of myself in both story and in anticipation because the producers of The Bachelor got a cockamamie idea to milk this for all they could and made us sit through an hour of watching everyone arrive at the tin sound stage building which was as interesting and thrilling as watching glue harden. I switched to Celebrity Apprentice where I developed a new dislike for the smarmy, full of himself Geraldo Rivera. OMG. He needs to be taken down a notch or twenty.

My hubby watched The Bachelor's first hour, a red-carpet/interviewing fiasco with fans behind ropes and Chris Harrison catching Bachelor alumni/family/stars on the way in to the viewing which probably happened last week, you understand. He asked the 'stars' the same old questions he always asks them about when's the wedding, how do you like me?, that type of thing.
I drifted in and out of the room but was too bored/disgusted to sit down and watch. Just as well because the Bachelor people (not contestants but paid employees like Chris H.) can't stop running off their mouths about Juan Pablo. Never, in the history of the Bachelor has one man made so many lower level producers so furious and hateful, it seems. I did catch C.H,'s drilling on Nikki over how she could have made such a horrible mistake in dating Juan Pablo. Sheesh, it's like high school over there at Bachelor headquarters. I imagine the less mature producers are egging Chris on and laughing behind the camera like they got the nerd to make a fool out of himself again on camera. That or C.H. has a real vendetta out for J.P. and cannot get over it to save his career. You'd think Juan Pablo threatened to burn down Bachelor Pad or something the way they can't let the legend of J.P. go. A statement has been made, C.H. We know you hate him. Move on.

Here's my quickish recap of the first night of Chris Soules, the dashing farmer/entrepreneur from Iowa's Bachelor season.
There were a lot of ladies coming out of limousines in everything from gowns and cocktail dresses to almost underwear and short shorts. The first fifteen ladies were greeted by Chris and then a small party ensued in the mansion. Where were the other ladies? Could the Bachelor producers have changed the format of the show? By this point in the franchise, everyone has heard of The Bachelor except those living on that satellite in space where they measure atmospheric anomalies. There's supposed to be 25 girls. The ladies were restless but not nearly as restless as they became when the final 15 arrived in more limousines and then there were girls absolutely everywhere.One even rode up on a motorcycle. Of course she did. There were girls teaching Chris to dance, girls telling him that they are crazy-obsessed with him, girls getting drunk on Jack Daniels (think cowboy boots and short shorts) and girls singing badly on a portable karaoke machine.
Bless that Iowa boy for trying to talk to every single girl!

Several stood out to me and to Chris as well because he picked his 15 or was that 20? and sent the rest packing, including the girl with the big eyes and anyone who seemed a little too obsessed with him already. Wait, no, those girls got to stay. By the time filming stopped that night, it was noon the next day according to the sun dial in amongst the fake flowers in the yard. Did you notice how bright the sun was after the rose ceremony? One of the ousted, named Kimberley, just couldn't believe that she was leaving and went back inside to talk to Chris.
That's where we pick up next week; with Chris discussing the possibility of her joining the filly paddock, I mean the hopefuls, to vie for Chris' heart.
I like the first impression rose gal, Britt (who didn't?) and the girl with the short brown hair curled (such guts to not die it blonde and get extensions for the show!) Who did you like?

See y'all next week where I'll have had time to think up some Iowa farming jokes and references and maybe to forgive the Canuck girl for a tasteless reference to plowing, and then a stupid tasteless joke at the party. Those Canadians!

See you next week.

Kim Hornsby is a Bestselling author with novel available on Amazon. She also writes a novella series, The Husband Hunt, that resembles The Bachelor. But what she's most known for is her housekeeping skills.

The Bachelor Headed For Disaster!

I can't help it! I want to know what's going on over there on the set of The Bachelor and I have my ways of getting the scoop, pre-January 5 when we start watching Chris Soules' journey to love.
Or will it be a journey to disaster?

Don't read on if you don't want to know the possible bad joke that the Bachelor Producers have directed towards the farmer from Iowa. If you think that the producers really care about their contestants finding love, you can ask yourself why they'd allow a girl on the show with so many prior arrests. Or one who posed for Playboy and has a web site that links to full nudity.
Friday of this week, November 14th, the show films in Los Angeles and then heads to a certain tropical South Pacific island with four letters and a fabulous reputation, for overnight dates. Chris has four girls remaining after hometowns and one of those girls has a questionable past.

In photos, they look cute enough together but this week, her name was leaked and dirt was dug and Chris is now dating a former Playboy model with priors for DUI, shoplifting, speeding and some other choice offences. Does he know about her past? We have no idea but wouldn't it be just like The Bachelor to know this going in, anticipate the big poop storm that will hit the fan in February/March and be salivating at the thought of Chris actually choosing this woman as his wife. And while the rest of us out here who believe in love, watch the show hoping the next Bachelor finds his perfect mate, the producers are having meetings about how to handle the fabulous publicity when a bad girl makes it to the final four. Which is okay if Chris knows about her past, her photos, video, modeling aspirations, her police record. If he doesn't, then shame on The Bachelor producers for not screening, or for screening and letting a contestant slip by who clearly might not fit in to family life in Iowa as a farmer's wife
In August Chris interviewed on Good Morning America. This is what he said.

"I believe in the process. I believe in what I went through on the previous show. That's why I'm doing it. I wouldn't do it if I didn't feel like there was potential."

Oh, oh, I hope I eat my words about this disaster in March.

Want a happily ever after story? KIM HORNSBY is the author of Christmas in Whistler, a romantic novella on Amazon Books available for sale November 14th for only $.99 throughout the Christmas season!

The Bachelor is Filming Hometowns

There will be no spoiler alert here, today, this month, because The Bachelor hasn't started yet. Well, not for us to watch on TV. It's almost over as far as filming goes.
Can you believe that??? While we've been satisfying our Monday night Bachelor addiction with Dancing with the Stars, filming for The Bachelor has been forging ahead with the Farmer from Iowa, a fan favorite from Andi Dorfman's season.

Chris Soules is narrowing down the playing field as I write this, to four lucky farmerettes, I mean women. I HAVE jumped ahead to peek at what's going on, where they are, and what they're wearing on dates, but I won't give anything away to those of you who want to watch the whole thing unfold like a game of 52 pickup in January.
Let me just say this much. Chris has been around Des Moines Iowa this last week having final dates before Hometowns, and considering that everyone but me has a smartphone with an awesome camera and a twitter, tumblr and tinder accounts, the social media sites are buzzing with photos and sightings.

I've seen pics from cars, from football games, in the windows of restaurants, all over Des Moines as fans realize that Farmer Chris is dating in their own backyard.
Strange thing is that there is one girl who is unknown at this point. Reality Steve has no idea who she is until someone sends him some more information. Chop Chop Everyone!
Reality Steve puts together the information like he's running campaign headquarters for a presidential candidate. He filters information, then sends it out on twitter and his blog site to inform the public to their God-given right to know what is going on with The Bachelor. Steve even knows that when the Bachelor productions crew blows in to town, Tinder lights up for that particular town with hookups for the single crew members. If you're unfamiliar with Tinder, I believe it is a social media site for booty calls. Oh to be young in this day and age. One word: Condoms.


Anyways, Chris is looking good this week and didn't we just know that the down home farmer look was a thing of the past once he went through the PR machine that is The Bachelor. He'll never be the same again, probably will never be satisfied with the small town life, and his new wife, assuming he finds one in this group of highly made up super-modeled looking singles, will never know what it's like to bring in the hay in late August because winter's a comin.







Kim Hornsby writes award-winning novels that are cheaply priced considering how good they are. The Dream Jumper's Promise was Chanticleer's Top Pick for Mystery/Thriller Paranormal this year as well as being nominated for Best Indie First Book by Indie Rom/Con.

Farmer Chris Starts Filming The Bachelor!

Lovably romantic Iowa farmer, Chris Soules, has been confirmed as the next contestant to look for love on ABC's The Bachelor.

You probably remember Chris best for sky writing over his farm when he and Andi Dorfman had a hometown date, or for being the writer of the secret admirer letters to the Bachelorette. Chris with the bright white teeth, dreamy eyes and honorable ways. According to insiders, he had this opportunity in the bag since the night he was eliminated by Andi. They wanted him all along. He is definitely a fan favorite but also comes with the added bonus for the Bachelor franchise that he is nothing like Juan Pablo.
With bachelor nation still stinging from J.P.'s strange season, many of whom said "I'm done with watching this stupid show," The Bachelor producers are still doing damage control for Juan's cocky defiance, even though he and Nikki Ferrell are still together, which is more than most bachelor couples can say 10 months later. Who knows what guns J. Pablo stuck to in order to get his way and maybe even retain a semblance of dignity. He is contractually not allowed to speak about a lot of what went on but he cryptically tweets that during the Bachelor process the producers negotiated with him to make choices he didn't agree with. Nikki knows what went on and tweets against the producers regularly, calling them out in support of J.P.
But now we have a very different kind of a Bachelor headed our way--32 year old farmer Chris Soules. In recent interviews Soules has said that he believes in this process and I think that is either sweetly optimistic or his way of saying "it's lonely out there on the farm and I'm gonna jump on this opportunity and have some fun."
I'm sure the idea is pitched to him as a golden opportunity, like being picked to go up in space on a rocket ship. Chris Harrison probably uses the words "true love" and talks about how difficult it is to find love in this crazy world. I have hours of fun just imaging what is said to get a nice person without a modeling career to think of to do this show.
The Iowa town Soules comes from is very small and you can imagine that he's dated every available single woman. His last relationship lasted seven years and they broke up because it wasn't great, only good. So he's a stick with it kind of guy if he lasted seven years. He's probably used to settling because of his remote location. But now he'll be dating some pretty gorgeous women in heavy makeup and gowns who have never even seen a tractor. Women who will lie and pretend they love the outdoors and farm life in particular, just to get to the holy final four so they can become a part of the Bachelor Family and get loads of TV time and attend all the fundraisers and parties. Chris better have his BS detector on high.
Filming starts soon and we'll see the results in January, after we have to endure a season of Dancing With The Stars. Good luck Chris. My advice is to maybe do the hometowns first and have them clean a horse barn for the first date.
In other news, has anyone noticed ads on T.V. lately for a dating service much like Match.com but called FarmerLove or some such thing? I'm seeing these commercials all over the place now that Chris is the new Bachelor. Are women out there thinking they'd like to bag a farmer, because not all farmers are like Chris Soules, I just want to say. A lot of them wear overalls and you know how sexy those look on a man, especially one who smells like manure and has a pot belly. You have to like a certain lifestyle and enjoy flat land and remote locations. I married a man from a flat farming area but he likes urban life and I'm thankful for that. I'd never last a year in his hometown, not that it isn't lovely, but it's remote. (Hi Honey!)
Regardless of Chris Soules' prior speeding tickets (long straight roads in Iowa) his open alcohol containers in the car (farm life!) and running stop lights in the town of 160 people, I think the next season of the bachelor will be filled with sweet gestures and romance. After all, this is a guy who works to end hunger in his home state, champions for farmers, and still has time to bring in the crops and play ghost in the graveyard at family gatherings.

Kim Hornsby is the bestselling author of The Dream Jumper's Promise an award winning Mystery novel as well as the short story series, The Husband Hunt, modeled after The Bachelor. The first one is free, the second story is cheap and the third is being written right now.