Monday night had us Bachelor fans eagerly parked in front of the HDTV waiting for the event that got us through the busy Christmas season, gave us reason to get up Monday morning with a smile, and kept us humming all day.
The Bachelor is back!
And Farmer Chris, who we really liked on The Bachelorette, is the guy looking for his wife this winter and describing this experience as the best opportunity a man could have. Um... Okay. I guess Chris never wanted to be an astronaut on an expedition to the moon or to eat a Klondike bar. But I'm getting ahead of myself in both story and in anticipation because the producers of The Bachelor got a cockamamie idea to milk this for all they could and made us sit through an hour of watching everyone arrive at the tin sound stage building which was as interesting and thrilling as watching glue harden. I switched to Celebrity Apprentice where I developed a new dislike for the smarmy, full of himself Geraldo Rivera. OMG. He needs to be taken down a notch or twenty.
My hubby watched The Bachelor's first hour, a red-carpet/interviewing fiasco with fans behind ropes and Chris Harrison catching Bachelor alumni/family/stars on the way in to the viewing which probably happened last week, you understand. He asked the 'stars' the same old questions he always asks them about when's the wedding, how do you like me?, that type of thing.
I drifted in and out of the room but was too bored/disgusted to sit down and watch. Just as well because the Bachelor people (not contestants but paid employees like Chris H.) can't stop running off their mouths about Juan Pablo. Never, in the history of the Bachelor has one man made so many lower level producers so furious and hateful, it seems. I did catch C.H,'s drilling on Nikki over how she could have made such a horrible mistake in dating Juan Pablo. Sheesh, it's like high school over there at Bachelor headquarters. I imagine the less mature producers are egging Chris on and laughing behind the camera like they got the nerd to make a fool out of himself again on camera. That or C.H. has a real vendetta out for J.P. and cannot get over it to save his career. You'd think Juan Pablo threatened to burn down Bachelor Pad or something the way they can't let the legend of J.P. go. A statement has been made, C.H. We know you hate him. Move on.
Here's my quickish recap of the first night of Chris Soules, the dashing farmer/entrepreneur from Iowa's Bachelor season.
There were a lot of ladies coming out of limousines in everything from gowns and cocktail dresses to almost underwear and short shorts. The first fifteen ladies were greeted by Chris and then a small party ensued in the mansion. Where were the other ladies? Could the Bachelor producers have changed the format of the show? By this point in the franchise, everyone has heard of The Bachelor except those living on that satellite in space where they measure atmospheric anomalies. There's supposed to be 25 girls. The ladies were restless but not nearly as restless as they became when the final 15 arrived in more limousines and then there were girls absolutely everywhere.One even rode up on a motorcycle. Of course she did. There were girls teaching Chris to dance, girls telling him that they are crazy-obsessed with him, girls getting drunk on Jack Daniels (think cowboy boots and short shorts) and girls singing badly on a portable karaoke machine.
Bless that Iowa boy for trying to talk to every single girl!
That's where we pick up next week; with Chris discussing the possibility of her joining the filly paddock, I mean the hopefuls, to vie for Chris' heart.
I like the first impression rose gal, Britt (who didn't?) and the girl with the short brown hair curled (such guts to not die it blonde and get extensions for the show!) Who did you like?
See y'all next week where I'll have had time to think up some Iowa farming jokes and references and maybe to forgive the Canuck girl for a tasteless reference to plowing, and then a stupid tasteless joke at the party. Those Canadians!
See you next week.
Kim Hornsby is a Bestselling author with novel available on Amazon. She also writes a novella series, The Husband Hunt, that resembles The Bachelor. But what she's most known for is her housekeeping skills.