Sunday, August 31, 2014

Farmer Chris Starts Filming The Bachelor!

Lovably romantic Iowa farmer, Chris Soules, has been confirmed as the next contestant to look for love on ABC's The Bachelor.
You probably remember Chris best for sky writing over his farm when he and Andi Dorfman had a hometown date, or for being the writer of the secret admirer letters to the Bachelorette. Chris with the bright white teeth, dreamy eyes and honorable ways. According to insiders, he had this opportunity in the bag since the night he was eliminated by Andi. They wanted him all along. He is definitely a fan favorite but also comes with the added bonus for the Bachelor franchise that he is nothing like Juan Pablo.
With bachelor nation still stinging from J.P.'s strange season, many of whom said "I'm done with watching this stupid show," The Bachelor producers are still doing damage control for Juan's cocky defiance, even though he and Nikki Ferrell are still together, which is more than most bachelor couples can say 10 months later. Who knows what guns J. Pablo stuck to in order to get his way and maybe even retain a semblance of dignity. He is contractually not allowed to speak about a lot of what went on but he cryptically tweets that during the Bachelor process the producers negotiated with him to make choices he didn't agree with. Nikki knows what went on and tweets against the producers regularly, calling them out in support of J.P.
But now we have a very different kind of a Bachelor headed our way--32 year old farmer Chris Soules. In recent interviews Soules has said that he believes in this process and I think that is either sweetly optimistic or his way of saying "it's lonely out there on the farm and I'm gonna jump on this opportunity and have some fun."
I'm sure the idea is pitched to him as a golden opportunity, like being picked to go up in space on a rocket ship. Chris Harrison probably uses the words "true love" and talks about how difficult it is to find love in this crazy world. I have hours of fun just imaging what is said to get a nice person without a modeling career to think of to do this show.
The Iowa town Soules comes from is very small and you can imagine that he's dated every available single woman. His last relationship lasted seven years and they broke up because it wasn't great, only good. So he's a stick with it kind of guy if he lasted seven years. He's probably used to settling because of his remote location. But now he'll be dating some pretty gorgeous women in heavy makeup and gowns who have never even seen a tractor. Women who will lie and pretend they love the outdoors and farm life in particular, just to get to the holy final four so they can become a part of the Bachelor Family and get loads of TV time and attend all the fundraisers and parties. Chris better have his BS detector on high.
Filming starts soon and we'll see the results in January, after we have to endure a season of Dancing With The Stars. Good luck Chris. My advice is to maybe do the hometowns first and have them clean a horse barn for the first date.
In other news, has anyone noticed ads on T.V. lately for a dating service much like but called FarmerLove or some such thing? I'm seeing these commercials all over the place now that Chris is the new Bachelor. Are women out there thinking they'd like to bag a farmer, because not all farmers are like Chris Soules, I just want to say. A lot of them wear overalls and you know how sexy those look on a man, especially one who smells like manure and has a pot belly. You have to like a certain lifestyle and enjoy flat land and remote locations. I married a man from a flat farming area but he likes urban life and I'm thankful for that. I'd never last a year in his hometown, not that it isn't lovely, but it's remote. (Hi Honey!)
Regardless of Chris Soules' prior speeding tickets (long straight roads in Iowa) his open alcohol containers in the car (farm life!) and running stop lights in the town of 160 people, I think the next season of the bachelor will be filled with sweet gestures and romance. After all, this is a guy who works to end hunger in his home state, champions for farmers, and still has time to bring in the crops and play ghost in the graveyard at family gatherings.

Kim Hornsby is the bestselling author of The Dream Jumper's Promise an award winning Mystery novel as well as the short story series, The Husband Hunt, modeled after The Bachelor. The first one is free, the second story is cheap and the third is being written right now.

No comments:

Post a Comment