Saturday, August 2, 2014

Bachelor In Paradise - Drama Unleashed!

Bachelor In Paradise is only 58 hours away (Monday August 4th, 8pm, ABC) and I couldn't care less about this stupid looking show. NOT!

I, for one, will be glued to the TV on Monday watching The Bachelor Franchise's newest summer spin off that replaced Bachelor Pad--a show that ended up being more game show that a true opportunity to find love in this crazy mixed up world.
Apparently Bachelor producers believe their own PR because that's what Chris B. Harrison is saying. Or roughly.

Bachelor in Paradise is a show about finding love. The fact that they put an uneven amount of men to women on a Mexican Beach, (where laws are loose and men are looser) supply unlimited amounts of alcohol and bikinis and tell the group that if they don't find "love" they go home, doesn't suggest pimping to me. How about you?

Again, producers do not supply enough seating for contestants, and everyone must sit uncomfortably close on one couch! Two men even have to stand. Look at them crammed in here.

From what I've read, the men give roses out to the women they want to stay on the all-expense-paid vacation so that encourages the women to get busy and secure a lasting relationship PDQ. Quick, everyone find a soul mate and sit down criss cross applesauce. Or head to the beach in a bikini and feed each other.
There are date cards, new people arrive every week as others leave for various reasons, not the least of which were the roaches and scorpions.

Chris Bukowski, who shows up for everything that says Bachelor hookups, is one of the surprise guests, as is the dude who called Emily Maynard's daughter "excess baggage" and hooked up last summer with Lyndsey from Seattle on Bachelor Pad. Where the heck is Lyndsey? Cody the muscular trainer is a guest, as is Michelle Money.

Have you seen the trailers? There will be lots of crying, (remember alcohol is a depressant,) and switching partners, (alcohol is an anti-inhibitor,) and someone even gets handcuffed!
How can we not watch at this point? True, the ambulance's appearance usually turns out to be for nothing but they said there was blood all over the floor. Did I say that someone ends up in handcuffs? Now, they could be just playing some S&M game at the Cabana but probably not. The close up on the handcuffs revealed what I thought looked like Claire Crawley's wrists. Not Claire!

I predict that she is really mad at Sarah Herron for stealing her boy/man, Robert, and threatens Sarah. Sarah is so stressed out she has a nosebleed that drips all over the floor before those drama-lovin' producers can find some paper towels.
What's in store for us on the soon to be hit show? Lacy and Marcus get cozy, Marquel gets to beach walk with someone who appreciates his sweetness (and abs,) and the original Michelle (K.) slams the door on Chris Harrison.
I'll see you all right here on Tuesday for my unbiased take on what promises to be one of the most dramatic seasons ever on Bachelor in Paradise.

Kim Hornsby is the Amazon Bestselling author of several suspense novels as well as a romance series modeled after The Bachelor called The Husband Hunt. The first book is free on Amazon. And once you get hooked, the second book costs money. This is how she makes enough money to pay for her children's nanny, her husband's mistress/housekeeper, and her dog walker.

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