Monday, August 18, 2014

Bachelor in Paradise- The "Player" Quits the Show!

Tonight on Bachelor in Paradise we picked up where the rose ceremony of last week left off. Minutes later. Remember that this 6 week series was actually filmed in three weeks so every single day is represented. If you count bonfires or breakfasts, it comes out to three weeks.
While Elise and bad boy Chris Bukowski get cozy just minutes after she was thinking of having babies with Dylan, the others are aghast at Elise's ability to switch camps so fast.
Couples walked back to the palapa mansion and Michelle Money teased Marquel as they approached the house about being unique. Little did she know.
Inside the mansion waited Danielle, a stunning woman from Juan Pablo's season and before she can ask who is paired off with who, she chose Marquel for her date, set to leave early the next morning. He's game! Sure! Let's go!
But what about Michelle, who just gave him the rose so he could stay another week? I'm confused.
The next morning Marquel and Danielle left on a small plane to cross the Yucatan Peninsula for Campeche, a touristy town, where they walked around, swam in a pool, flirted and almost got hit by lightning.
Did anyone else think that Marquel's reaction to the lightning didn't allow for good ole fashioned gentlemanly concern for his date? He started running for safety and didn't look back. Dude, it wasn't just you who almost got hit.
Back at the beach, Elise got a date card which made AshLee pissed that it wasn't for her and Graham. No good sportsmanship lost on that girl. Elise asked her new boyfriend of 12 hours, Chris B. While Elise had Michelle crack out the curling iron, Chris went swimming and proceeded to tear his ACL. Ouch. (The amount of hair blowers and curling irons in the bathroom made me wonder if all seven girls used the same mirror. Yikes. Or if Michelle had brought the salon with her.)

Meanwhile, the doctor came by to see the vein in Chris's leg popping out of his skin and after wrapping the knee with ice, advised the bachelor to stay off his leg. Yea, right. He's got an overnight date coming up with Elise. He'll try to get prone fast but there's only so much a man can do.
The small plane bound for Campeche takes off with Chris in so much pain that the only thing that stops him from screaming and writhing is that he may not get the fantasy suite card if he quits the show. Spurred on by the sight of Elise in a green bandage dress, Chris perseveres. At dinner they are presented with two room keys and Elise says Let's just "go to the pool and feel it out." Okaaaaay. Chris is more to the point and tells the camera, "She's super hot and I just want us to spend the night together." Seeing her in an emerald green bikini, Chris is determined to not scream from pain as Elise tries out a new twist on her name, "Elise Bukowski," and likes the sound. These two are a match made in heaven.
At the beach, Robert has become a hot commodity now that Michelle has no one to love, so she sets her sights on the tall, boyish Robert Graham. Clare and Michelle set up a double date with Zack and Robert and although Michelle tries her darndest, Robert doesn't go in for the kiss. She calls him sexy and he still doesn't take her hand. We hope he's thinking of Sarah who is crying back at the hut, saying she's always struggled to be more outgoing and wondering what Robert is doing.

When Marquel and Danielle arrive home from their date, they sit very separately at the campfire on the beach. The second sign that it didn't go as well as Danielle thought is when a new girl walks up like she's god's gift to men and Marquel's eyes pop out of his head.
Hey wait. It's just Jackie, the red-haired girl next door type. With her date card, she snags Marquel to fly out in the morning and although he just got off the plane, he's game! Michelle Money rolls her eyes and the lizards in the bushes are heard to say "What's up with the guy in the nerdy glasses? He just got back from a date."

Michelle decides to put all her time and effort into Robert now, like he's a business plan and the next day tells her BFF Graham, just that. They walk on the beach a lot, those two former lovers, bouncing romantic plans off each other.

Marquel and Jackie board that same plane to...You guessed it --Campeche!
Then AshLee finally gets a date card that was just dropped on her bed like the producers are afraid of her chewing them out for waiting so long. We know from trailers that AshLee is way down that road to claiming Graham and she's already planning to introduce to her daddy but Graham's only at the head of the road wondering whether to follow her.

In this episode did anyone else notice how we jumped around so much from date to date-- couples swimming and girls talking, at the ruins now back to the beach-- that it was hard to keep things straight. Marcus and Lacey go swimming in a pool while a Raven lifeguards. Clare and Michelle talk about how much Robert likes her. Lizards watch all this from the foliage. This type of thing.
 Marquel and Jackie hit it off at the ruins and Marquel breaks his no kissing on the first date rule and dives in for the kiss. He's very conversationally charming but what about Michelle? And Danielle? Maybe he needs a girl whose name doesn't rhyme with his.
 Elise and Chris head for the hospital after their overnight date leaving us to wonder what happened in that fantasy suite until we remember his knee problem. Aside from the fact that the date went great, "she was extremely excited," Chris is in terrible pain. Yup, he's torn stuff and sprained some other stuff and has to go to bed back at the hut. Elise welcomes the chance to wait on him because, after all, she's going to be Elise Bukowski! "Chris is my man now forever," she says. Good luck with that one. She's a delusional clinger and he's a player. This will be fun to watch.

That night, Clare's sad about the anniversary of her father's death and Zack comforts her until she sees a turtle lay eggs on the beach and takes it as a sign from her dad that new life is all around. Essentially he's telling her to live her life. Don't grieve. Okay, I believe in signs but the way they filmed this, it was actually funny. Someone at The Bachelor loves to make fun of Clare.

Back in Campeche, AshLee admits she follows Graham on Instagram and he looks royally creeped out. How much do these two actually know each other after two weeks if she hasn't admitted this yet? They are presented with two room keys and Graham decides they should sleep apart, even though AshLee tries to seduce him in her little tight dress, while dancing in the street. Best line of the night is from AshLee who states after a parting kiss that she and Graham would "have hot babies." What does that mean? Promiscuous, sexy babies?

At the rose ceremony the next night, Chris B has to be carried down the beach in the dark to the ceremonial couch, Chris H appears in a white three-piece-suit like something out of Miami Vice, and the girls worry about who will go home seeing there are eight of them to six guys. Robert has interviews, I mean conversations, with both Michelle and Sarah who both hope for his rose and Marquel talks to both his dates in his too-short black tie and flowered shirt.
The predictable roses go from Zack to Clare, Graham to AshLee, Marcus to Lacey and then Marquel gives his rose to newcomer Jackie, kicking both Michelle and Danielle to the curb. Robert gives his rose to sweet Sarah, kicking Michelle back to the curb in her severely made up face and when Chris calls Elise for her rose, he makes a grand romantic gesture that no one saw coming. He says he's leaving the show to seek medical help for his knee and asks Elise to go with him. She says yes and Chris turns to Michelle who "deserves love more than anyone here," to give her the rose. Saved at the eleventh hour by a man that everyone thought was a philandering player. Maybe Chris is a nice guy after all. Oh wait. He met Elise just two days earlier, shared a hotel room with her the previous night and is probably hoping for some hanky panky.
Elise is delighted to leave with him and off they go.
In the limo, Danielle, who genuinely liked Marquel, coined the phrase Marq Hell and I tended to agree she'd had a bad experience with the once sweet contestant. He was flaky this week with little regard for two other women. Not nice.
What's in store next week? The raccoon makes another appearance with his mangy tail, Clare chews out AshLee, collects knives from the kitchen, and at the rose ceremony AshLee runs off into the jungle, something weird happens and an ambulance arrives. Doesn't someone get handcuffed soon? Don't forget that next week's installment is over two nights --Monday and Tuesday-- so check your calendars and cancel all evening appointments. It looks very juicy!

Kim Hornsby is a Bestselling Novelist of suspense. The Dream Jumper's Promise has 221 Reviews on Amazon, mostly 5 stars and was the winner of Chanticleer Paranormal Mystery/Thriller contest. When not writing suspense, she drowns herself in mindless entertainment like The Bachelor and eats bon bons from a red velvet box.

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