Bachelor in Paradise- The "Player" Quits the Show!

Tonight on Bachelor in Paradise we picked up where the rose ceremony of last week left off. Minutes later. Remember that this 6 week series was actually filmed in three weeks so every single day is represented. If you count bonfires or breakfasts, it comes out to three weeks.
While Elise and bad boy Chris Bukowski get cozy just minutes after she was thinking of having babies with Dylan, the others are aghast at Elise's ability to switch camps so fast.

Couples walked back to the palapa mansion and Michelle Money teased Marquel as they approached the house about being unique. Little did she know.
Inside the mansion waited Danielle, a stunning woman from Juan Pablo's season and before she can ask who is paired off with who, she chose Marquel for her date, set to leave early the next morning. He's game! Sure! Let's go!
But what about Michelle, who just gave him the rose so he could stay another week? I'm confused.
The next morning Marquel and Danielle left on a small plane to cross the Yucatan Peninsula for Campeche, a touristy town, where they walked around, swam in a pool, flirted and almost got hit by lightning.

Did anyone else think that Marquel's reaction to the lightning didn't allow for good ole fashioned gentlemanly concern for his date? He started running for safety and didn't look back. Dude, it wasn't just you who almost got hit.
Back at the beach, Elise got a date card which made AshLee pissed that it wasn't for her and Graham. No good sportsmanship lost on that girl. Elise asked her new boyfriend of 12 hours, Chris B. While Elise had Michelle crack out the curling iron, Chris went swimming and proceeded to tear his ACL. Ouch. (The amount of hair blowers and curling irons in the bathroom made me wonder if all seven girls used the same mirror. Yikes. Or if Michelle had brought the salon with her.)

Meanwhile, the doctor came by to see the vein in Chris's leg popping out of his skin and after wrapping the knee with ice, advised the bachelor to stay off his leg. Yea, right. He's got an overnight date coming up with Elise. He'll try to get prone fast but there's only so much a man can do.
The small plane bound for Campeche takes off with Chris in so much pain that the only thing that stops him from screaming and writhing is that he may not get the fantasy suite card if he quits the show. Spurred on by the sight of Elise in a green bandage dress, Chris perseveres. At dinner they are presented with two room keys and Elise says Let's just "go to the pool and feel it out." Okaaaaay. Chris is more to the point and tells the camera, "She's super hot and I just want us to spend the night together." Seeing her in an emerald green bikini, Chris is determined to not scream from pain as Elise tries out a new twist on her name, "Elise Bukowski," and likes the sound. These two are a match made in heaven.
At the beach, Robert has become a hot commodity now that Michelle has no one to love, so she sets her sights on the tall, boyish Robert Graham. Clare and Michelle set up a double date with Zack and Robert and although Michelle tries her darndest, Robert doesn't go in for the kiss. She calls him sexy and he still doesn't take her hand. We hope he's thinking of Sarah who is crying back at the hut, saying she's always struggled to be more outgoing and wondering what Robert is doing.

When Marquel and Danielle arrive home from their date, they sit very separately at the campfire on the beach. The second sign that it didn't go as well as Danielle thought is when a new girl walks up like she's god's gift to men and Marquel's eyes pop out of his head.
Hey wait. It's just Jackie, the red-haired girl next door type. With her date card, she snags Marquel to fly out in the morning and although he just got off the plane, he's game! Michelle Money rolls her eyes and the lizards in the bushes are heard to say "What's up with the guy in the nerdy glasses? He just got back from a date."




Michelle decides to put all her time and effort into Robert now, like he's a business plan and the next day tells her BFF Graham, just that. They walk on the beach a lot, those two former lovers, bouncing romantic plans off each other.


Marquel and Jackie board that same plane to...You guessed it --Campeche!
Then AshLee finally gets a date card that was just dropped on her bed like the producers are afraid of her chewing them out for waiting so long. We know from trailers that AshLee is way down that road to claiming Graham and she's already planning to introduce to her daddy but Graham's only at the head of the road wondering whether to follow her.

In this episode did anyone else notice how we jumped around so much from date to date-- couples swimming and girls talking, at the ruins now back to the beach-- that it was hard to keep things straight. Marcus and Lacey go swimming in a pool while a Raven lifeguards. Clare and Michelle talk about how much Robert likes her. Lizards watch all this from the foliage. This type of thing.
 Marquel and Jackie hit it off at the ruins and Marquel breaks his no kissing on the first date rule and dives in for the kiss. He's very conversationally charming but what about Michelle? And Danielle? Maybe he needs a girl whose name doesn't rhyme with his.
 Elise and Chris head for the hospital after their overnight date leaving us to wonder what happened in that fantasy suite until we remember his knee problem. Aside from the fact that the date went great, "she was extremely excited," Chris is in terrible pain. Yup, he's torn stuff and sprained some other stuff and has to go to bed back at the hut. Elise welcomes the chance to wait on him because, after all, she's going to be Elise Bukowski! "Chris is my man now forever," she says. Good luck with that one. She's a delusional clinger and he's a player. This will be fun to watch.

That night, Clare's sad about the anniversary of her father's death and Zack comforts her until she sees a turtle lay eggs on the beach and takes it as a sign from her dad that new life is all around. Essentially he's telling her to live her life. Don't grieve. Okay, I believe in signs but the way they filmed this, it was actually funny. Someone at The Bachelor loves to make fun of Clare.




Back in Campeche, AshLee admits she follows Graham on Instagram and he looks royally creeped out. How much do these two actually know each other after two weeks if she hasn't admitted this yet? They are presented with two room keys and Graham decides they should sleep apart, even though AshLee tries to seduce him in her little tight dress, while dancing in the street. Best line of the night is from AshLee who states after a parting kiss that she and Graham would "have hot babies." What does that mean? Promiscuous, sexy babies?

At the rose ceremony the next night, Chris B has to be carried down the beach in the dark to the ceremonial couch, Chris H appears in a white three-piece-suit like something out of Miami Vice, and the girls worry about who will go home seeing there are eight of them to six guys. Robert has interviews, I mean conversations, with both Michelle and Sarah who both hope for his rose and Marquel talks to both his dates in his too-short black tie and flowered shirt.
The predictable roses go from Zack to Clare, Graham to AshLee, Marcus to Lacey and then Marquel gives his rose to newcomer Jackie, kicking both Michelle and Danielle to the curb. Robert gives his rose to sweet Sarah, kicking Michelle back to the curb in her severely made up face and when Chris calls Elise for her rose, he makes a grand romantic gesture that no one saw coming. He says he's leaving the show to seek medical help for his knee and asks Elise to go with him. She says yes and Chris turns to Michelle who "deserves love more than anyone here," to give her the rose. Saved at the eleventh hour by a man that everyone thought was a philandering player. Maybe Chris is a nice guy after all. Oh wait. He met Elise just two days earlier, shared a hotel room with her the previous night and is probably hoping for some hanky panky.

Elise is delighted to leave with him and off they go.
In the limo, Danielle, who genuinely liked Marquel, coined the phrase Marq Hell and I tended to agree she'd had a bad experience with the once sweet contestant. He was flaky this week with little regard for two other women. Not nice.
What's in store next week? The raccoon makes another appearance with his mangy tail, Clare chews out AshLee, collects knives from the kitchen, and at the rose ceremony AshLee runs off into the jungle, something weird happens and an ambulance arrives. Doesn't someone get handcuffed soon? Don't forget that next week's installment is over two nights --Monday and Tuesday-- so check your calendars and cancel all evening appointments. It looks very juicy!


Kim Hornsby is a Bestselling Novelist of suspense. The Dream Jumper's Promise has 221 Reviews on Amazon, mostly 5 stars and was the winner of Chanticleer Paranormal Mystery/Thriller contest. When not writing suspense, she drowns herself in mindless entertainment like The Bachelor and eats bon bons from a red velvet box.

Bachelor in Paradise - Broken Legs and Face Licking!

Didn't we just know this would be the best Bachelor in Paradise episode in all history? And it was!
This week's installment of drama, drinking and dumping started with Chris Harrison explaining a situation that must've made the producers simultaneously salivate and cackle with joy.
Michelle K was eliminated last week after saying she didn't find a connection with anyone on BIP. She took herself out of the running, apparently to get back to her adjoined hotel room where the door was open to a crew member who wooed her (initially by finding the poor girl some dental floss.) You all saw how MK's loveshack twist evolved and that when cameras tried to film her in the room, she shut the door on Chris Harrison, saying to another producer that CH is not "the guy", he's "just a host". Ha ha. If she had any hope of keeping her secret quiet, that ruined her chances. CH is the biggest big wig next to Mike Fleiss in The Bachelor franchise.
Long story short, the psychiatrist was ready to debrief Michelle (as is always the custom on The Bachelor), a crew went to get her, Michelle was wearing only a towel and her next door buddy, Ryan Putz, was there--a big no no. In the dark, he estimated the jump off the balcony to be 6 feet, lept and broke both legs to protect both Michelle's reputation and his job. He pretty much screwed up both, and was taken to the Tulum hospital for bright white casts and his walking papers. Why didn't he just go back to his room through the adjoining door?

Back at the beachside Hacienda, Clare told Lacey to "lock it in" with Marcus in a whispered bunkbed conversation, only to be interrupted by the arrival of Chris Bukowski to the tune of the Jaws music. How appropriate. You remember Chris B. He shows up for anything and everything where there's girls, free plane tickets, TV face time, and prize money. The funniest line of the night was when a small group of men watched CB approach with a date card and Marcus bet he was here to "steal the women". Did anyone else picture the Wild West and Chris B roping the women folk together to ride off with them in his wagon?
With his date card, CB picked Clare which turned out to be his & her massages on the beach and playing in the surf-- platonically. Did Clare know what a bullet she dodged by not wrapping her legs around him, pretending to be afraid of the water on that date? Later she found out.

Back at the palapa mansion, Marcus got a date card, much to Robert's dismay, and he took Lacey out to dinner. Lacey's shockingly easy switch from Robert to Marcus, and flirty look is getting old fast and already I'm kind of sick of her. Robert should be too. I like Marcus but see heartache in his future.

That night drinks came out and shots were consumed a little too fast around a beach bonfire. The BIP singles coined the super cute phrase YOPO--You Only Paradise Once and things got a little wild with face licking and such. Then Elise grabbed Chris B and took him into the surf. (You might remember that with such close quarters in the house, the surf is the fantasy suite on this show.) Much kissing ensued. Dylan, who earlier had told her to make other friends and go on a date with someone else, had gone to bed.
Next morning Elise looked like the dog's breakfast in a severe hung-over state and was regretful about kissing CB. She came clean with Dylan and he used this to pretend if she hadn't kissed CB, they'd be okay. But no, he was done with her. Clare innocently asked "Is anybody here for love?" as she realized that she'd gone on two dates and both men dropped her like a scorpion nest afterward.

As lizards and tree frogs watched incredulously from the leafy foliage, Zack (from Des's season) showed up and whisked poor ole lonely Clare off on a date to try on hats and goof around in town.
I actually felt happy for Clare now that she had herself a real live man who seemed to like her. They surmised that their pheromones were very compatible. In the surf Clare immediately wrapped those legs around Zack to verify his attraction to her. Yep, he liked her.




Dylan got the date card and asked Sarah, not Elise, and she decided to go on the date, with Elise's blessing. But wait! She was only kidding! Don't go. Or at least don't like him. Don't touch him or smile at him. Wait! Don't go. Oh well, go.
We didn't see much of the date but it's a long road back to dating for Dylan after one week of hanging out exclusively with the possessive Pisces, Elise. Sarah looked extremely awkward with her glass of apple juice and the two had a quiet dinner, saying nothing much at DREAMS resort.

Back at the beach, Elise talked non-stop about Dylan and got her hair done by Michelle M. while she nattered on and on and waited for her man and best friend to come home.

Lying on the bed wearing ankle socks, Marquel was present when Marcus spilled a glass of water on Ben Scott's backpack, conveniently revealing a love letter. Of course the two M's read it and confronted Ben at the bonfire. So far, Ben had not found a canoodling partner in the BIP group and when asked, confessed to a new girlfriend back home. Oh no! He's not there for the right reasons. Shame.
Michelle Money was very upset and cried herself off to another room saying Ben took a coveted spot that could have been used by some man who might be the love of her life. Hey wait. I thought she was getting to know Marquel.
Ben exited with a few tears, calling his "goodbye to Hollywood" and vowing to be "done with T.V." That's actually good news and also surprising news. Was Ben a big TV personality? It all works out because he's got this cute girlfriend in Texas who probably has no idea why he came on this stupid show in the first place.




The Rose Ceremony: Six roses to be handed out to seven men. I'm no mathematician but that means that someone will have to leave and I'm pretty sure it'll be a guy. Everyone got dressed up according to what they brought in their suitcase and then convened in the Couch Room.

All day men had been doing damage control, trying to secure a rose from a woman, Chris Bukowski working as hard as I've ever seen, especially because Elise wouldn't let go of the future she imagined with Dylan. Sorry CB, I'm having babies with Dylan, she all but said.

Before the ceremony, Marquel almost bought himself a plane ticket home when he and Michelle M went off to have a talk and he admitted that her excessive drinking concerned him. He was swigging red wine as he said this. ??? What?
Personal note: Can you imagine the closet these two might share if they end up together? The accessories, the colors? Every day would be a costume party!
 He exited when Robert asked to talk to Michelle, not realizing he should have stayed to get back on MM's good side! Tell her what you like about this amazing woman with the necklace stuck on her head. Robert tried to charm Michelle into giving him her rose and later entered the ceremony confident he'd step into Marquel's bow tie and pink shoes.
In the Rose Ceremony, roses were handed out and Elise tried to fasten the rose to Dylan who wouldn't take it. (He'd told her earlier not to try but she must've had sand in her ears because she heard, "I really do love you so much, but I'm scared.")
Elise then made a boring speech about something that the director chose to set to comedic circus music. When done, she handed out her rose to CB who pretended that he was simply being gracious by accepting it.
In a what just happened? moment, Sarah gave Robert her rose, not her date partner Dylan, and said she'd like to get to know Robert better. The boot was given to Dylan with no chance of love or a hookup, (unless he found a crew member to snuggle with before he flew out.)

Next week looks good as Graham and Ashley finally get a date, Clare enjoys her new man, another woman arrives who likes Marquel, and Chris B. continues to prove his slimy ways. Can't wait.


Kim Hornsby is the Amazon Bestselling author of several suspense novels as well as a romance series modeled after The Bachelor called The Husband Hunt. The first book in this series is free on Amazon. And once you get hooked, the second book costs money- 99 cents. This is how she makes enough money to pay for her children's nanny, the housekeeper, pool boy, and her dog walker.