One Man Throws Andi Under the Bus on The Bachelorette Finale

One man is deliriously happy and one man is devastated enough to reveal on national TV that he and Andi did the dirty deed and then she dumped him. More on that in a bit.

The much anticipated Bachelorette finale was everything we could have asked for last night on ABC. The new format for the finale includes watching with a live studio audience hosted by Chris Harrison. It's almost like we are at an L.A. Bachelorette party! With lights, cameras, and former contestants in the front row looking uncomfortable and highly makeup'ed.
The Bachelorette Finale was set in the Dominican Republic at Casa de Campo where only Nick and Josh remained as Andi's choices for possible husbands. First up was the bashful, extremely nervous Nick Viall who brought Andi's mother a mega bouquet of flowers and her father a bottle of something that looked alcoholic.
Nick stumbled through lunch, obviously not the confident person we've seen in previous shows, interrupted Patti, the mom, to tell her how much he loves her daughter and asked for the dad's blessing if and when he decided to propose. Hy, the dad, paused long enough to make us squirm in our chairs in TV land, wondering if he'd refuse. He reassured Deer Caught in Headlights Nick that if Andi chose him, he'd trust her judgment. Phew. I thought Nick was going to faint from nerves on that one.

Next we cut to commercial and when we came back, Chris Harrison plugged Bachelor in Paradise and then back to the giant studio TV screen and the Dominican Republic.
It was Josh's turn to sweat and stutter with the parents and sister, Rachel. The former baseball player (doesn't this guy have a job?) from Atlanta arrived with a smaller bunch of flowers and what looked like a box of cigars that he almost handed to the sister in his nervous discombobulations. Sitting with Andi on the couch, he laid his hand on her thigh and proceeded to sweat through his blue shirt.Andi sat tight with Josh and they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Hy actually gave his blessing when Josh asked permission to propose to Andi and they set up a golf date for three months from the day. Just kidding.
The sister Rachel tried to cut to the core of Josh and determine if his too- good- to- be- true factor is real or if he is just this wonderfully handsome, available, athletic, lovable guy. Rachel and her turtle tattoo couldn't tell but advised Andi to follow her heart.
Andi's date the next day was with Josh and the kissing factor was ramped up to warp factor/ maximum overdrive as they motored to a snorkel spot on a yacht and took the kissing to the ocean. Later, at Josh's hotel room, they kissed some more, flirted, talked, and Josh all but put the ring on her finger. This guy must be in sales because he sure was assuming the sale like there was no elephant in the room. He even made her a baseball card, with stats and her new name Andi Murray. I don't think he even realized at this point that there was another contestant who loves her a million percent (as Nick would say, and did).

Nick's last date with Andi was off-roading in a jeep to a picturesque picnic spot where they said a whole lot of nothing. Nick's admission to the camera made no sense even though he said it twice. "If I ask Andi to marry me, it will be because there's not a doubt in my mind it's me." I don't think Nick knew the format of the show either. If you are the last one standing, it's you, and you are free to ask her to marry you. Later, they talked in his suite, she reassured him that everything was going to be alright and every time he voiced doubts, she kissed him. Andi is not allowed contractually to say "I love you" so Nick understood and felt a lot more confident after she didn't say those three words.
This is the part where Neil Lane flies in with bling and rings are chosen. Spoiler Alert: Only one man chose a ring. The other man didn't even get to see the jeweler from L.A. before Andi headed to his room to cut him loose.
Josh chose an enormous sparkler for his fiancee and Andi visited Nick's hotel room to let him down easy. She awkwardly told Nick that she didn't want to take him to a rose ceremony seeing he'd been jilted before by a fiance and she didn't want to add to his pain. Nice thought but this kind of jilting only saved Nick the trouble of dressing up with a ring in his pocket. That's all. But this is the nature of the game. One person always leaves broken-hearted. Nick was blind-sighted by Andi's withdrawl of love/feelings and I would've felt really sorry for the guy but...
A month ago I watched a video taken from someone's cell phone during the flight Nick took from the Dominican Republic so I knew that Josh was Andi's choice and Nick would go home devastated. The video was filmed from behind Nick's seat, through the crack, and showed him telling his sister or mom that he'd been cut loose. The video was sent to Reality Steve who released it. During the phone call Nick was understandably upset and said things I'm sure he now regrets. Or should. It seems that the men might have been right about ole Nick. He has a bit of a nasty side, something which was proven on After the Final Rose.

Next, was Josh's proposal at an oceanfront setting with sailboats in the background. Finally, Andi could admit that she is madly in love with Josh and has been for many weeks. Josh's little speech about his feelings for Andi was eloquent and touching. This man LOVES Andi. Of that, we are sure. And now we are sure that Andi loves him. She said so. Yipee! A happy ending.
But not for Nick who wandered around Milwaukee near the Rock Bottom Pub, then flew to Mexico to talk to Andi on vacation with no luck. He even crashed The Men Tell All to talk to Andi but wasn't granted an audience with his almost former fiancee. Poor guy. She wouldn't talk.
Andi might have done better to talk privately with Nick Viall because it was only a matter of minutes before he threw her under the bus on national TV on After the Final Rose.
But before that we cut to the most bleachable moment which heartlessly was the men trash talking Nick and then him arriving back from his date. When silence fell on the bachelor's room for 2 solid minutes, indicating that no one wanted to converse with Nick, it was awkward!
Things got more awkward when they brought out Andi to share the hot seat with Nick and she wore her resting bitch face and refused to look at him. Getting nothing but "I never loved you," Nick was forced to pull out his big gun and revealed the no-no secret. He asked why she took things so far, why they made love. In my dictionary that phrase means one thing but there was still a 1% chance Nick meant heavy canoodling until Andi barked at him that that was private. He said he didn't want to hit below the belt and she countered with "you already did." Game over. Andi's face turned to super bitch and Nick had no hope of compassion after that. Or an explanation of how she could "love" him so much and then not. Goodbye Nick. Adios. A gentleman does not reveal on TV anything about private moments and you proved that you aren't a gentleman. Any sympathy I had for Nick at this point went out the window faster than Neil Lane can fly back to L.A. from the Dominican Republic, having sold only one ring.
Nick was quickly dismissed during a commercial, Josh was brought out, and Andi's smile returned. These two are so cute together! I predict they might even make it to the alter if they can refrain from sexting old lovers. Andi says she wants a long engagement but Josh is ready to walk the aisle and start having children tomorrow. Very cute.
As the closing credits rolled, my hubby reminded me that we still don't know who the next Bachelor is even though earlier the camera cut to Farmer Chris when Michelle Money asked Chris Harrison to reveal. I wonder if Michelle gets extra cash for planting that seed? Farmer Chris looked extremely uncomfortable when the audience waited, which made me think Chris Soules hadn't said yes yet.
Update: I just read that The Bachelor spot is between Ari the race car driver (What?!) and Farmer Chris.
Who has your vote?

In the meantime, aren't Josh and Andi cute together?

Kim Hornsby is the author of THE HUSBAND HUNT, a free novella on Amazon Books available for download that resembles watching a season of The Bachelor. She lives in the Seattle area where she also writes Bestselling novels.

Andi Dorfman Nixes the Fantasy Suite!

This week I flew to the Dominican Republic to romance three gorgeous men without a care in the world. Oh wait. Not me. Andi.

Last night's episode of The Bachelorette took us south (unless you live in the Southern Hemisphere) to the island of the Dominican Republic. It's the co-joined twin of Haiti in the Caribbean. Took me three tries to spell that last word! Don't ask  me to spell Hispaniola.

Andi pulls her own small suitcase, yea right, along the marble floor to her tropical paradise hotel room and ponders her week with the last three men who have stolen her heart. As I watched her apply makeup in her bathroom mirror, I got a few tips on how to lightly dust my non-existent cheekbones with blush to add a hint of bone structure. Nice.

The first date was with Nick, the man who was awarded the first impression rose way back when, the Software Sales Executive in Chicago and man-mumbler. His earlier tweet told his mother to not let Bella watch the show and hashtagged #fantasysuites so I assumed they'd accept the proverbial key at the end of their date.

First stop, a private island via helicopter, where they picnicked and swam and avoided awkward moments where Nick could not blurt out the three words Andi was hoping to hear. He tried to tell her that he loved her but like a big ole potato stuck in the throat, they wouldn't emerge farther than the larynx. Swim time! My favorite quote on this date was when Andi said "He's got a body on him." Of course I took it literally and giggled in my chair. Everyone has a body on them or they'd just be a head. Did anyone else notice the coral seemed phallic-shaped when they snorkeled? Those clever producers and camera people, planting ideas in our minds.
Nick wrote Andi an adorable book/fairytale about their relationship so far, complete with child-like drawings that I'm pretty sure Bella did when they were on hometowns. It was super-cute and allowed Nick the confidence to pull Andi aside to the shadows, pose against a palm tree and tell her he loves her (with his hands behind his back). They kissed passionately afterwards and headed to the Fantasy Suite to talk and stuff all night. Nick was very child-like on this date--insecure and bashful, which led me to believe they might just have an all-night game of hangman or thumb wars.


Josh, my personal favorite, had the next date and the editors showed lots of talk to the camera shots of her doubting her feelings for the big galloot. Sadly, there was no scarf on this date but Josh was able to be Mr. Fun Guy anyhow dancing in the street with Andi, speaking Spanish to the natives (I was wildly impressed), and even drinking a potion to insure virility. Who wouldn't want to hang with him, potion or not, scarf or not? At a kids' baseball game (not official little league--just normal kids playing baseball on a dusty baseball field), they joined the fun, ran around, mingled with kids and Josh proved himself as a potential great dad. Sitting in the shade afterwards with a giant coconut drink, the two lovebirds talked about parenting. Now, if you've actually had children there's nothing that squashes romance like a talk about parenting but for these two it seemed to up the attraction factor.
At dinner Josh fast-talked in his Elvis voice and did all but propose marriage. He wants this woman to be his forever. He's ready to make this legal, add Andi to the Josh and his dog Sabel family. Andi isn't allowed to talk about her feelings but the evening ended in noisy kissing in the fantasy suite pool. Cut to the full moon, fuzz the focus and fade out.

The next day Andi had a horseback riding date with Chris, the farmer from Iowa. But Andi is as scared of horses as I am and I had to chug a huge glass of wine to calm my jitters as she bounced and trotted and swore her head off down the dusty road. Horses are terrifying! Chris expertly rode beside her. They stopped at a scenic pullout for wine and a quick game of daylight Ghost in the Graveyard. Favorite quote on this date was Chris saying he loved the tractor ride in Iowa where Andi "hopped on my lap and went to town."

At dinner, Andi did not look particularly happy and we wondered if Chris's dirty pants on the riding date had put her off. Someone tell him he has a dirty butt, producers! Andi didn't even get to dinner, wine, or the fantasy suite card before she started to explain to the big farmer that it isn't Iowa that has come between them. No. apparently she can see herself driving that tractor into the sunset with Chris. But she can't make him wait for a rose ceremony for two days, wondering if he's going to spend the rest of his life with the woman he loves. It's not Iowa. It's him. Phew! As Chris realizes that she's dumping him and he needs to leave, he eloquently reassures her that he'll be okay and she walks him out. The date ends before it begins. But Andi, he could move the farm to L.A. (you have to know that Andi is probably not going back to being a D.A. in Atlanta after this.)
Can't Chris play a farmer on a TV show so we can watch him every week? We are grieving today, not for Andi and Chris, who weren't well suited but for ourselves who won't see Chris anymore, except on The Men Tell All. He won't be the next Bachelor. No way. It's corn season.

At the rose ceremony, Andi gave Josh and Nick the roses and explained that Chris was gone as her bright red mumu screamed for a belt and they toasted to themselves. Now there is only Nick and Josh left. Who will she end up with? Social media knows because of Reality Steve and also because Andi has been spotted with the lucky man lately, something she's not supposed to do but for those of you who want to wait two weeks to find out, my lips are sealed. And this blog.
Next week, The Men Tell All.

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt, an Amazon book series based on THE BACHELOR, as well as blogging about the reality show. When she isn't writing, Kim is performing open heart surgery, birthing triplets and keeping a tidy house.

The Bachelorette Producers Sink to a New Low

They couldn't just leave it alone. They had to show the moment Chris Harrison told the remaining cast of The Bachelorette that Eric Hill had died. This is a new low for the show.

I understand that it affected the people on the show, the people running the show and even watching the show, but did they have to use footage of the exact moment and exact facial reactions for teasers to get viewers to stay tuned? If there was still any doubt about how SMARMY this show is sometimes, this locks it in. That's not to say that we won't watch the show anymore because, hey, it's smarmy/fascinating but I wanted to say that I was offended by how they used Eric Hill's death for teasers. Harrison says they thought about how to do it, tell the remaining cast members the terrible news, and felt that bringing everyone to his home would be best.
The only person smart enough to leave the room after the five Bachelorette members got the news that Eric had passed away was Marcus. Andi went outside to bring him back in the room. Then the producers and staff moved in to hug everyone. It seemed real enough and I'm sure the news was shocking. Staff moved from person to person to hug but Nick remained sitting on the couch and yawned when a hairy man tried to hug him from behind. Turn off the damn cameras!
This is my opinion on how they handled things, still trying to do damage control rather than pay a quiet, respectful tribute.

Moving on...

Here's a quick re-cap of last night's show:

Hometowns

The first stop was Milwaukee to reunite with Nick. The excited, boyish version of Nick took Andi to the public market to food-taste, then on to a brewery to drink-taste an ale called "Nick and Andi", then to a bar to learn how to polka. Cute.

The fact that Nick can polka and thinks it's a "Milwaukee Dance" was adorable. Andi was 'down' with the polka, she said. At the family home, armed with a bouquet of flowers, we got to meet Nick's enormous family gathered in front of a portrait gallery of childhood photos. I lost count of siblings at eight. What confused me was his introduction of everyone with their spouses, taking the count over 15. I had another sip of Sauvignon Blanc instead of counting. My favorite sibling was Bella, the 11 year old girl who was such a cutie. I think Andi would be better off with a younger sister than Nick. The mom was freakishly stylish and put together for someone who birthed all those kids. I liked her a huge bunch and Nick's stock went up considerably.

Next stop was Arlington Iowa and farming country to see Chris. Andi loved his checked shirt and vest (?) and was turned on by the fact he owns a nice house, a huge tractor, and hired a plane to fly by their picnic pulling the words "Chris loves Andi". I'm hoping his family uses that verb a bit loosely because I see heartache for this big Iowa farmer. The flat cornfields of Chris's homeland don't seem to be enough for Andi, even though she vowed she hunted with her Dad and wasn't a city girl. (Have you seen how much makeup she wears to hunt bad guys in the slums of Atlanta?) Even Chris's mom later said she loved Andi which melted my heart. In turn, I loved his family who even left the house after dinner to play Ghost in the Graveyard outside with Andi. I wanna live in Iowa now.

On to Josh's hometown--Tampa Florida-- where the Aaron Murray fan club reigns. Aaron this, Aaron that. OMG. Shut up about the brother! Oh, unless this Bachelorette thing was all about the brother being drafted into the NFL. Josh's devotion to his younger sibling was touching and we witnessed another side to the baseball lovin' jock--a side that might involve a good life partner if Andi doesn't have to join the Aaron fan club and get on board the love train for football watching. The mom was nice enough but the whole date was clouded by the family's excitement about the upcoming NFL draft for the little brother. Only Aaron got off topic with Andi and actually talked about his beloved bro Josh. Even though Josh talks like Elvis on speed, I have a new appreciation of the big galoot and his possible feelings for Andi.

Dallas, Texas was the scene for the next hometown visit. Apparently Marcus is German/Polish, raised in Canada but now lives in Texas. This is a wee bit confusing. Andi did a ton of smiling on this date and when Marcus drove her around Dallas pointing out pretty parks, then took her to a bar to strip for her (a la first date,) her smile got bigger. "He's really hot" was heard three times, leading us to believe that Andi meant "I can't think of anything else to say about this embarrassing occurrence." Is hot good husband material? If Marcus is that buffed, how much time does he spend in the gym? Maybe Andi was wondering these things. The family was nice. The mother was a bit stoic, the Fergie-looking sister was pleasant, the older brother was nice and Marcus cried when Andi drove away. His deep feelings for her led me to believe that Marcus's love is genuine. We see Marcus and his bedroom eyes again next month in Bachelor in Paradise so hopefully he gets over his reality show crush.

Back in L.A., they went to Chris Harrison's Bachelor pad to hear the news of Eric Hill's death and they next day the five contestants were back at the mansion for the rose ceremony. It was too soon after bad news to do this elimination. The fact that they allowed Andi to stand up there and cut Marcus after saying to the men that they'd all get through this grieving process together was crass. Boom. Bye Marcus. You won't get through this together. Not you. Not with this group AND you will now have to go through a breakup with the girl you wanted to marry. And, you will walk away knowing she's off to a tropical vacation with fantasy room dates. Good luck with that broken heart. And grieving.

I'm severely disappointed with THE BACHELOR this season. I didn't mind the Juan Pablo season so much. He was fun to watch but this season has had some pretty awful moments. I know the producers are doing damage control for all the fans who didn't like J.P., and now damage control for Andi after kicking Eric Hill off the show, but as a devout fan I'm being asked to watch entertainment that makes me cringe more than I like in an 2-hour show.
Oh, and Bachelor in Paradise is coming up in August and it looks like anything but Paradise with all the tears and backstabbing. Will I watch? Probably. Like slowing down at an accident scene on the highway, I probably will tune in. Dammit.

Kim Hornsby is the author of THE HUSBAND HUNT, a free book on Amazon that resembles a season of The Bachelor. She lives in the Seattle area where she also writes Bestselling novels.