OVERNIGHTS BEFORE HOMETOWNS?? on The Bachelorette

I took a day to write this blog in an effort to get the bad taste out of my mouth from watching The Bachelorette last night.
I'm not sure why this season hasn't grabbed me like previous ones but something is very off. Things are being run differently, or Kaitlyn is crying too much, or Shawn B (is there another Shawn?) didn't read the show's description when it said "You might end up dating the same girl as 7 other men." It could still be that Nick Viall has not left the building yet. He continues to bug the bejesus out of me, (as my mother would've said.)

Let's recap last night, shall we?

The show is in picturesque Dublin or as I like to say Dooblin, to sound Irish. Shawn and Kaitlyn are having a heart to heart on her love seat and she is dying inside to think that he might know she banged Nick the night before in the next room. He doesn't know, or all you'd see of him would be the dust. And maybe smell his aftershave because I'm pretty sure Shawn is the kind of guy who has wonderful aftershave!

Tanner walks with Nick outside trash talking Shawn and leaving me to wonder why Tanner turned Team Nick all of a sudden, even revealing to Nick that Shawn cried when he didn't get the one on one. Hey, Shawn has it BAD for Kaitlyn. Haven't any of you out there had a relationship that might have made you drive for two days in diapers to go and kill your rival?

The two on one date is next with Joe from Kentucky (remember he had his left one hanging out of the sumo diaper?) and JJ, the confused father who popped his bestie's back pimple weeks before at the Bachelor mansion? Hmmm, let's see, which one is better husband material? That is such a tough one seeing Joe is funny, intelligent and is said to kiss like a dream. And JJ wears pink socks and looks like a deer caught in the headlights. And he's stupid enough to tell Kaitlyn that she needs to know he cheated on his wife. He does this just before she has to eliminate one man. It's you JJ! To rub salt in the wound, Kaitlyn leaves with Joe on the boat and JJ is left standing on the edge of the cliff, wondering if he should just jump now after he admitted on National TV that he cheated on his wife.

After this date, Shawn tromps that familiar path to his girlfriend's room while she's doing an on camera interview in her bedroom, and they sit down for their nightly heart to heart. Someone needs to take Shawn aside and feed him a chill pill. He's got weeks left to go, not to mention she's falling for about 5 other guys, even though she mistakenly told him off camera in San Antonio that he's the one. "Oops, did I say that?" Kaitlyn wonders. "I meant to say 'you're so much fun!'" Once you tell someone they are the one, you can't keep dating other guys. Not in Shawn B's book. He might have been the one two weeks earlier. Now he's the fifth or sixth. On twitter, people think he sounds drunk but I think he has a dreamy Hollywood voice. And he has an old fat dog back home so that gets him points with me.

It's the rose ceremony! We don't have to wait until next week! Ben Z is hunky and sweet, Ben H is tall and getting more interesting every week, Cupcake Chris has nice teeth, Nick is hanging around like a weed, Tanner is nothing, Jared is cute and sexy in a werewolf way, Shawn is high maintenance, and Joe has a rose already. Oh, Nick has a rose for great sex too.

I think at this point it's a nice gesture to take the losers out kindly, but no. Kaitlyn lines them up and when all the roses are gone, Ben Z and Tanner are left standing. Awww. Poor Ben Z.

 

The next day the Paddy Wagon Bus comes to take everyone to Kilarney, home of the Blarney Stone, but WAIT! Kaitlyn drives up in a mini, chooses Jared to road trip with her, driving on the left side and the rest of the men take the bus. SMACK. In your face men! Jared is actually pretty cute and has the best philosophy of living in the moment.
Once they kiss the Blarney Stone, Jared helps Kaitlyn check in to her castle while the men find their one size fits all suite at the Randles Hotel in town. Chris Harrison has flown in by private helicopter and recommends that Kaitlyn be fair and give all the other men (besides Nick and Shawn) some off camera/alone time with her. Nick and Shawn had their time already. New Twist: This season the overnight dates will take place BEFORE hometowns so that if you sleep with Kaitlyn on the O/N date and you do really well, you can take her to meet your nice folks.
Chris the cupcake has the first one on one and they take a helicopter ride to the Cliffs of Moher for a picnic in what looks like a Black Hawk, not a tour helicopter.

This is the golden moment for Chris to sell himself, take Kaitlyn in his arms like a man and wow her. She gives him several chances by asking leading questions about what their life would be like in Nashville and Cupcake just smiles and answers like he's on a half hour game show. Kaitlyn realizes she doesn't want to be off camera with this guy who is sweet but has no connection with her. The helicopter can't get there fast enough for Kaitlyn and her tears and the Dentist is left crying on the cliff, wondering whether he should jump or not. I'm imagining what the producers said to him to make him cry like that. Maybe your performance in Aladdin lacked a little something. Next week, we continue with one on one overnights.

 

Now here is an Irish joke for you: Say these words very fast several times--Whale Oil Beef Hooked and now you are swearing like a true Irishman!

#SickofNick and Jared rises to the top of the Boyfriend Heap!

I'm getting so tired of Nick Viall that I hated this episode of THE BACHELORETTE. I'm sorry if you are TeamNick but I don't trust him and I don't think any man who's already been on the The Bachelorette and vied for a woman's hand in marriage, then trash talked both of them, has the right to do it again in any other capacity than villain.
#SickofNick

Last night began with Ian the deep thinking Princeton grad with all the white teeth, telling Kaitlyn that basically compared to him, she's a publicity-seeking buffoon. Ian said just enough for us to laugh at his pomposity and feel badly for Kaitlyn who took his words to heart enough to tear up. While he was calling her shallow, she had perfect reactions, however. Head tilts, frozen bitch face, incredulous chin tuck, and licking her front teeth without opening her lips. All reactions that would have stopped me in my tracks if I wasn't trying to hurt someone's feelings but simply be honest.
Unfortunately Ian resigned before Kaitlyn could say the words "You're outta here, Deep Thinker!" The funniest part was in the limo as Ian was suggesting himself as the next Bachelor not realizing that he just made himself the laughing stock of Bachelor Alumni, he went on and on about how profound he is, what a intellectual he is then said "finally I get to have some sex." That was a Deep Thought! Kelsey Poe, are you available for some stimulating conversations? Get those two together to talk about themselves.
Shawn B sees his girlfriend kissing Nick afterwards and a little love died on the vine as he realized he is on a game show. Oh, excuse me. A reality show. Kaitlyn continues with the rose ceremony sending home the guy who looks like Tom Hardy and the southern guy with the shaved head.
The cast and crew fly to Dublin, Ireland and settle in at a Radisson Blu Hotel that looks like a castle. It's sunny, it's rainy, it's cold, it's hot. That's Dublin!
Nick gets the first one on one much to the men's disgust. All except Jared who says that it's important to just concentrate on your relationship with Kaitlyn, not anyone else's.
I'm going to skip the description of Nick's date but after wandering Dublin, they end up necking in Christ Church, which says a lot. Then they go back to her room, close the bedroom door and we get to hear them have sex in whispered tones. Uggh.

The group date involves a remorseful Kaitlyn (about having Whiskey-driven sex with Nick when she had all these great other boyfriends) at her own Irish Wake. How appropriate for the way Kaitlyn is feeling. I don't know if she saw the irony but the men toast her, write limericks, say goodbye to this lovely lady (they have no idea that Nick stayed the night) while she lies in a coffin. The banjo arrives, they sing, and then head off to the Guinness Factory down the street for their cocktail party. She has good conversations with Shawn B and Ben Z but Jared rises as a front runner, not wasting his time talking about Nick and gets the rose. He is taken to a gorgeous cathedral where the Cranberries serenade the dancing couple. Do you have to, Do you have to let it linger? Love that song. Good to see the Crans.
Shawn is so pissed about Nick and all his teenagerish bragging about his date that he had a serious talk with a producer about leaving the show. It should be noted that Shawn wore a black suit, cut to his chiseled form and I would have given him the rose simply for the way this man looked in that suit. Watch him walk down the hall.

He heads to Kaitlyn's room where she's scarfing down some food after a long day and they sit down to talk. She's worried he knows Nick stayed the whole night.
From ads, we know she eventually starts crying, he says "do you not know what we have?" and things get testy, but we will have to wait until next week to see if Shawn stays on the show. The previews show trouble in Nick paradise next week so it might be worth watching but I tell you, if he doesn't leave soon, I'm going to watch through a crack in my hand next week. I'm #SickofNick and his teenagerish ways. And what about that hairdo?

During the closing credits, Britt introduces her mother to her boyfriend Brady, and the mom repeatedly tells Britt he seems like a nice friend. By now Britt is dressing like Brady and looking very worried her mother won't approve. There is something fragile and sad about Britt, like maybe her mom won't let her have a boyfriend and she'll have to let him go.

See you next week!

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Kim Hornsby is a National Bestselling Author of Suspenseful novels with Romantic elements. She won the Chanticleer Best Mystery/Thriller Paranormal and was nominated for Best Indie First Book by Indie Romance Convention with The Dream Jumper's Promise.

Head Punching and Comedy on The Bachelorette

This week's The Bachelorette continues where last week left off. It's dawn and everyone moves into their respective houses after last week's revelation that Kaitlyn is the Bachelorette.

C.H. visits Kaitlyn to talk with her about the upcoming weeks and then we see Britt crying on the phone to her Mom to tell her she isn't the chosen one. Who didn't feel badly for her? I did. She was blindsided. Never did she entertain the idea she might not make it. Then there is a knock on the door and Cody walks in to give her a hug. You might remember he left the show to go find Britt. Talk about timing. Well done, Cody, well done.

The first date this week is a group date with Daniel the fashion designer, Justin the blonde, Jarred the bearded one, Tanner the handsome guy, Kupah the DJ, Ben the muscle man, and Corey the other blonde guy. Off they go to a warehouse set up with boxing equipment and Laila Ali, women's boxing champ and Dancing with the Stars alumni. They learn the art of boxing while I cringe at home, knowing soon they will be pounding the sh*t out of each other in the ring. And my prediction comes true. I have to look away. Watching people fight is painful for me, especially when they are hitting each other in the head, where the brain is located, you might remember from health class. Brains are super important.

 Jarred is taken to the hospital to be checked out after a big punch to the side of his head and I am disgusted they always seem to do this on The Bachelorette. Note to future Bachelorettes: When they pitch this really fun idea, see it for what it is--a fight to the death for the girl, not a good-sported activity where everyone will laugh and bond. Ben Z. wins because he has 30 extra pounds of muscle on the guys. The cocktail party that night is without Jarred although on his way back from the hospital they allow him to send a note upstairs to get Kaitlyn to come down to say hi. Apparently the bearded restaurant manager is a good kisser. Jarred kind of looks like he could turn into a werewolf, doesn't he?
Back on the rooftop, Kaitlyn gives a rose to Ben, who admits that he likes to cook and his mom died when he was 14. He's not just a bunch of muscles after all.
The next date is a one on one and the artist who drew C.H. on a triceratops, Clint, gets the date. He and Kaitlyn drive to a poolside photo shoot, but wait, it's not poolside. It's an underwater photo shoot. This happens to be one of my favorite forms of photography. I happen to collect weird photos of women underwater. But enough about me. Kaitlyn and Clint have fun but the date seems kind of boring. Not her style. No sparks flying. However, at the rooftop dinner later, Kaitlyn declares he is a really good kisser too. Give that boy a rose for his kissing abilities. She does.
Back at the house, Gentle Tony, the plant talker guy is talking about love and coexisting after they get the final date card for a group of guys that includes him. He asks Justin advice on how to treat Kaitlyn.

With the help of funny lady Amy Schumer, Kaitlyn has the group date guys work on their standup routines at The Improv, one of L.A.'s famous comedy clubs. Ok, standup comedy is extremely difficult even if some of the country's best female funny ladies are helping the guys. Guess who is the least funny with absolutely no sense of humor at all. Tony. Yep. He has about as much funny as a rock and is two seconds from being boo'ed off the stage even though he tells the audience he's not a drinker and is now tipsy. JJ is obnoxious in his confidence and Amy says so to the camera, the dentist is funny, Ian is still pretty cute and after they pretty much fail as comics, they have a party where Kaitlyn wears another sparkly dress (?) and Kentucky boy gets some serious kissing in. JJ pulls the I have a preschool age daughter card to get the rose.

He's not a house favorite.
Meanwhile, Britt and Brady are on a date with ice cream cones and hand holding and he asks her to be his girl. Of course she says yes. Now she has saved face AND has a boyfriend she barely knows.

At the Rose Ceremony, the guys agree to let the men who didn't go on a date this week go first in talking to Kaitlyn alone. That is so incredibly nice of them! Wow! But wait. JJ ruins that by grabbing Kaitlyn after she slips into the room. The men do not like this at all. Tony the love guru even gets nasty about it, which is always fun to watch when someone who preaches love and calmness goes all ballistic. Ian the Princeton runner tells Kaitlyn his backstory, earning him some sympathy and then Kupah makes the worst mistake in Bachelor history. He pulls her aside to tell her that he thinks she doesn't even notice him. He won't leave it alone, can't stop talking, digs himself in deeper, until finally Kaitlyn calls a truce and they part. Kupah immediately heads off to a bunch of guys to loudly recount every word spoken and Kaitlyn hears all this from just around the corner. She pulls him aside and asks him to go home.

Then it gets interesting. He doesn't want to go and argues. "I don't want to go home. I think you're hot," he says like that is a good thing to say to a woman!
She sticks to her decision and he finally gets the message and heads to the driveway to film his contractually obliging exit interview. BUT, he doesn't want to talk to the camera and through the window, Kaitlyn sees him getting almost pushy with Elan Gale the hairy producer who sometimes sneaks on camera by accident. Kupah is pissed off!
To Be Continued flashes on the screen and we aren't even surprised because now these cliffhangers are a bonafide thing at The Bachelor.


Tune in next week to see if Kupah flattens Elan or if they have to call the big bruiser security guy who helped count roses last week.

While waiting, check out this fantastic set of 10 Romantic Suspense books for only .99 on Amazon. Is it a dream? No. They are only 99 cents. All ten. We are practically giving them away for the next few weeks.

Kissing & Crying on The Bachelorette!

Night two of the most controversial Bachelorette in history began with where we left off the night before.
The votes were in, a big bruiser/bouncer guy you wouldn't want to meet down a dark alley helped count the thornless roses in each box and the winner was...

Chris looked traumatized. He likes Britt. I personally think he was #TeamBritt and when he told her that she didn't win the chance to continue on with the show, she took it like a trooper, very few tears, was shocked and left without a fight. Chris walked her to the car, probably chanting "stupid idea to begin with" under his breath and off she went to the very understated condo complex where the ladies stayed for a week or two before only one of them would move in to the mansion.
Side note: The contestants/cast buy all their own clothes, do their own makeup and hair but the Bachelorette has a budget for clothes and goes shopping with the show stylist. During the show her hair and makeup are done by professionals. C.H. too but not Elan Gale, the producer with masses of hair that gets on camera if it tips over.

Then Kaitlyn was told the fabulous news by a straight-faced C.H. and after her exclamation of shocking joy she asked how Britt was doing. She cared about Britt. So Canadian. She called her Mom.
Back in the room, Kaitlyn hoped to convince anyone who didn't vote for her that she was worthy. Shawn the blonde cutie who she really liked in the driveway looked about as pleased as Kaitlyn that she was the Bachelorette.
My notes for the show were eaten by my dog (true story) and somehow we didn't tape the show so here's my recollection of what happened next.

Britt supporters were scared, sad, and wondered why they voiced who they'd vote for to the other guys. Namaste Guy who talks to plants went off alone to meditate on what the universe thought he should do now because he originally liked Kaitlyn, but voted for Britt because of the energy coming off her box. (Voting box)

I wrote on my cryptic notes that the dentist has moves. Anyone know what I meant? Did he dance or kiss her or what? Oh yes, he kissed her first. At least we can assume his breath is probably fresh, even at 4 a. m. after a night of drinking. He's pictured at the right.

But then she took Blonde Shawn aside and he REALLY kissed her. This girl loves to kiss (most Canadians do!) and he got the first impression rose from the girl with the orange spray tan and sparkly dress.

Then it was time for the rose ceremony and Brady asked to speak to Kaitlyn alone. This was the most shocking event in Bachelor history, I thought. The singer/songwriter, who was there for Britt (and probably to further his non-existent career) took himself out of the running in a brilliant move of strategy. Not having any emotional connection with Kaitlyn and probably seeing the writing on the wall that said "YOU'RE GOING HOME, DUDE" Brady made a last ditch effort to be a celebrity and left the show to go look for Britt. Nice move!
Of course he'd have a good chance to date her because she was at an all time low, no self-esteem, and would probably be touched that someone left the show for her. On Monday we get to see what happens there too.

Kaitlyn gave out roses, eliminating the stripper in a shocking move and they all toasted each other with their 7 a. m. glasses of wine. Filming had gone all night.
The previews looked like Nick (the slimeball who was filmed phoning on the plane home from Andi's season) Vial comes back and Kaitlyn sleeps with someone and cries about it profusely. Why??? Why Nick and why cry?
The early sex partner isn't the rose-strewn bed guy to the right because that's the fantasy suite bed so don't go blowing up this photo and analyzing his hair.
Then it looks like Kaitlyn confesses to the other men and they are pissed! My first impression was Do you think the Bachelors ever thought to cry about having sex too early on the show? cough Ben Flajnik, Bob Guiney. I don't think so.
This will be interesting to watch in the coming weeks. Isn't it always?



Kim Hornsby is a blogger and Bestselling author of Suspense as well as Romantic Short Stories on Amazon. One novella series takes after The Bachelor and is called The Husband Hunt.

The Bachelorettes Airs Today!

Although I'm cringing inside to think that these two gorgeous, worthy women are pitted against each other on The Bachelorette tonight, Chris Harrison and both Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Nilsson tell us not to worry. It isn't anything like that. The two contestants like each other, think this is a great idea and the whole thing is loads of fun.

Okay, so they drank the Bachelorette Koolaid the producers offered and were convinced that this new twist to an already demeaning to women show was just good ole fashioned fun, not a smarmy attempt to get better ratings. Britt and Kaitlyn don't know how this looks to the American public because they are not part of the American public anymore. The moment the Bachelor producers pitched the idea of putting two girls on the show for the first night and having the men actually vote for the one they like the best, the contestants lost their ability to see the situation clearly.
"This is an amazing opportunity to form a platform and do good in the world," "After this promo, you'll be able to write your own ticket of what you want to do in entertainment," "Not many people get an opportunity like this to gain fame so quickly and then use it to further your career." These are all possible pitches that producers use to lure unsuspecting contestants into the web known as The Bachelor franchise.
I'm not saying I won't watch tonight, because you know I'll be parked in front of my huge TV, with a glass of wine in hand, hanging on every word. But I have a pre-conceived idea of how nasty it was to use two girls for this, discard one and pretend it was all in good fun. If my mind is changed after watching, I'll apologize publicly tomorrow on my blog but for now, let the record show that the Bachelor producers have hit a new low by appealing to people's need to achieve fame on a reality show.
See you here tomorrow for my take on the evening's event.


Kim Hornsby is a Best Selling Author and devout Bachelor fan who is ashamed at how much enjoyment she gets from this show.


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The Bachelorette - Monday May 18th

The premier of THE BACHELORETTE 2015 with Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Nilsson is now less than 3 weeks away. (I'm always a little embarrassed to admit how much I like this franchise. It's just so fun to watch!)
This season The Bachelor is mixing it up, throwing in some curve balls and doing a few things differently. About time to shake things up a bit after so many years, I say!
Instead of one Bachelorette, they will start with two ladies and the men will vote for which one they want to remain.

HALT! Does anyone else think this idea just sounds like an ego-bruising endeavor for one and an ego-puffing exercise for the other? What girl in her right mind would do this? The producers had to have spun the premise differently to the girls like "It'll be great! You'll both get fantastic national exposure, one will get the sympathetic vote and be America's sweetheart when she leaves the show and the other will be the Bachelorette! Win Win!!!!" I'm imagining these producers sitting around talking about how they'll pitch it to get two girls pitted against each other in a speed dating situation where men have nothing to go on but the sexy factor and a few sentences of conversation. And you have to know that these twenty something men are not going to be thinking about who would make them the best wife.
Apparently one woman is chosen and one leaves but don't worry, the eliminated contestant has found love probably faster than the one who had to go all over hell's half acre to date all these men. If you don't want to know who gets to stay, stop reading now. I'll give you a minute to think about this while I tell you that it's pretty common knowledge who leaves. Kaitlyn remains and Britt goes but apparently the latter has a boyfriend now. Maybe even someone she met from the show. Maybe even someone who was eliminated at the beginning. Reality Steve makes his living collecting information about this show and now only has to sit back and receive tips from others instead of hoofing it all over America to spy on the show. Basically, this is where I get my info. That and Wet Paint.
The Bachelorette production just left Ireland where they hung out for awhile and they've dropped off the face of the earth temporarily which suggests that they are coming in to hometowns. Kaitlyn might be in Vancouver, Canada, no one is entirely sure. Watching social media seems to be the best way to track these people and with the names of most of the 25 bachelors on Reality Steve's list, spies report in regularly if anyone posts their location or alludes to love or a TV show or pretty much anything. Last night, I dropped in to several of the guy's twitter accounts to see nothing in particular but you know these guys will be gaining thousands of followers in the weeks to come and some may even start fashion blogs or blogs on men's grooming. It looks like a VERY handsome group that makes it past the first elimination, so this might be fun to watch.
That's all I have for now on The Bachelorette front but I'll keep you posted as I learn more.
In other news, Chris Harrison's Romance novel is out and although I haven't read it and may not, it's made a few sales. In a moment of weakness and poor judgment, I did, however, buy Courtney's Tell All book, I'm Not Here to Make Friends, or something like that. Soon, I'll do a full summary of all the juicy tidbits of her time on the Bachelor in Ben Flajnik's season. In my own defense, I was looking for a book written by a Bachelor contestant that told about what goes on from a production standpoint because I'm getting ready to write the third novella in my Husband Hunt series and want more info on behind the scenes. Melissa Rycroft, Sean Lowe and Trista's books didn't have what I was looking for.
In the meantime, let's count the days until The Bachelorette premier, shall we? 19.


Kim Hornsby writes fiction and has a novella series on Amazon Books called The Husband Hunt. The first book is free to get you hooked. :)