Kissing & Crying on The Bachelorette!

Night two of the most controversial Bachelorette in history began with where we left off the night before.
The votes were in, a big bruiser/bouncer guy you wouldn't want to meet down a dark alley helped count the thornless roses in each box and the winner was...

Chris looked traumatized. He likes Britt. I personally think he was #TeamBritt and when he told her that she didn't win the chance to continue on with the show, she took it like a trooper, very few tears, was shocked and left without a fight. Chris walked her to the car, probably chanting "stupid idea to begin with" under his breath and off she went to the very understated condo complex where the ladies stayed for a week or two before only one of them would move in to the mansion.
Side note: The contestants/cast buy all their own clothes, do their own makeup and hair but the Bachelorette has a budget for clothes and goes shopping with the show stylist. During the show her hair and makeup are done by professionals. C.H. too but not Elan Gale, the producer with masses of hair that gets on camera if it tips over.

Then Kaitlyn was told the fabulous news by a straight-faced C.H. and after her exclamation of shocking joy she asked how Britt was doing. She cared about Britt. So Canadian. She called her Mom.
Back in the room, Kaitlyn hoped to convince anyone who didn't vote for her that she was worthy. Shawn the blonde cutie who she really liked in the driveway looked about as pleased as Kaitlyn that she was the Bachelorette.
My notes for the show were eaten by my dog (true story) and somehow we didn't tape the show so here's my recollection of what happened next.

Britt supporters were scared, sad, and wondered why they voiced who they'd vote for to the other guys. Namaste Guy who talks to plants went off alone to meditate on what the universe thought he should do now because he originally liked Kaitlyn, but voted for Britt because of the energy coming off her box. (Voting box)

I wrote on my cryptic notes that the dentist has moves. Anyone know what I meant? Did he dance or kiss her or what? Oh yes, he kissed her first. At least we can assume his breath is probably fresh, even at 4 a. m. after a night of drinking. He's pictured at the right.

But then she took Blonde Shawn aside and he REALLY kissed her. This girl loves to kiss (most Canadians do!) and he got the first impression rose from the girl with the orange spray tan and sparkly dress.

Then it was time for the rose ceremony and Brady asked to speak to Kaitlyn alone. This was the most shocking event in Bachelor history, I thought. The singer/songwriter, who was there for Britt (and probably to further his non-existent career) took himself out of the running in a brilliant move of strategy. Not having any emotional connection with Kaitlyn and probably seeing the writing on the wall that said "YOU'RE GOING HOME, DUDE" Brady made a last ditch effort to be a celebrity and left the show to go look for Britt. Nice move!
Of course he'd have a good chance to date her because she was at an all time low, no self-esteem, and would probably be touched that someone left the show for her. On Monday we get to see what happens there too.

Kaitlyn gave out roses, eliminating the stripper in a shocking move and they all toasted each other with their 7 a. m. glasses of wine. Filming had gone all night.
The previews looked like Nick (the slimeball who was filmed phoning on the plane home from Andi's season) Vial comes back and Kaitlyn sleeps with someone and cries about it profusely. Why??? Why Nick and why cry?
The early sex partner isn't the rose-strewn bed guy to the right because that's the fantasy suite bed so don't go blowing up this photo and analyzing his hair.
Then it looks like Kaitlyn confesses to the other men and they are pissed! My first impression was Do you think the Bachelors ever thought to cry about having sex too early on the show? cough Ben Flajnik, Bob Guiney. I don't think so.
This will be interesting to watch in the coming weeks. Isn't it always?



Kim Hornsby is a blogger and Bestselling author of Suspense as well as Romantic Short Stories on Amazon. One novella series takes after The Bachelor and is called The Husband Hunt.

Drunk Guy Dated Bach Alumni! What?

Tonight began with Chris Harrison telling us this is the most controversial Bachelorette show in history. Oh my! Two ladies. Only one will realize her dream of being an American Reality Show 6- month celebrity. The other will be humiliated and sent home. America knows that this is smarmy. And Bachelor Nation has been very vocal about having to take sides. Thus the controversy.

I'm going to make this as short as I can and still use words like creepy drunk guy and popularity contest.
First up on the first night of a two part season opener, we see a few clips of contestants, which the Bachelor people call cast mates like Disney does. We watched a guy welding a rose, a Princeton grad Division 1 runner who had to teach himself to walk again, a guy with a very overweight dog, a singer/songwriter, a divorced dad (let's not mix up single dad this year, shall we? A single dad is an only parent, raising a child all alone, isn't it?) We got to take a look at a fitness instructor, a hippy who talks to plants like babies and a law student who strips for law school money.
Twenty-five guys, two women, and one host who looked like he'd rather be somewhere else. Did anyone else think Chris Harrison looked bored? Or mad? Or maybe his tie was too tight.
In the oiled-down driveway the men arrived in limos as Kaitlyn and Britt stood fifteen feet apart, waiting, like two cows going to slaughter. Kaitlyn voiced how scared she was, Britt voiced how confident she was (of her first impression capabilities, we think), and Chris Harrison went off camera for a nap or a game of HALO.
Can I just say the fact that Kaitlyn was a bit worried was real and Britt's calm happiness was a bit strange. Both of them wanted this opportunity, had a hotel room full of gowns, makeup, shoes, and the hope of being The Bachelorette. Why was Britt so devoid of nerves? I have a theory about confidence.
What was cringe-worthy at this point was that the men had two women to greet and were able to show favoritism in front of the other girl. Britt got all the attention at first and Kaitlyn stood there like an ugly potato, near tears. Britt greeted them with warm smiles and then finally Kaitlyn got the hang of playing the game and even took a quick break to run in the house to tell the men they were almost finished. Britt's claws showed when she told the camera that was unfair. See Bachelor producers? You wanted to pit them against each other and get some dirt going and there you go. These women held out as long as they could but sweet Britt started realizing she might not end up the Bachelorette and her true colors came out.
Meanwhile, there was a guy getting absolutely blotto in the mansion. Actually, he got out of the limo drunk. At first he was funny to watch, telling everyone he was "horned up" and waving at the ladies from the windows. What we now know about Ryan is that he used to be Nikki's boyfriend, the woman who ended up with Juan Pablo at the end of their season. Wow, she sure knows how to pick 'em! Her mother must be wondering about what she did wrong.
Watching Drunk Guy, I couldn't imagine him every redeeming himself after he called both girls Ho's. Tony the Plant Talker Guy giggled and mentioned he shouldn't say that. In the movie version Drunk Guy will be played by Seth Rogen and Kaitlyn will play herself.
Finally, Chris Harrison stepped in after several self-professed knights in armor tried to confront Drunk Guy and a fight looked imminent. The sloshed cast member was asked to go. C.H. actually looked scared as Drunk Guy heard the news, leaned in as though he might get violent, but then walked to the limo disappointedly. On twitter, Jordan, Drunk Girl from last season, was crying from happiness and tweeting that she wasn't nearly this drunk on her season.

We watched cast members arrive in motorized cupcakes, a hot tub convertible car, swallowing helium, dancing and hugging both girls well into the night until all twenty-five were inside the mansion and both girls competitively speed dated all twenty-five men.
Kaitlyn was overwhelmed, Britt smiled and agreed with everything the men said, establishing a common bond immediately. Kaitlyn said "frickin" a lot, Britt oozed sweetness and both campaigned like politicians on election night.
The men were told to vote when they were ready and before a sour-faced Chris Harrison could finish his sentence, Namaste Plant talker had voted for Britt. It was anyone's guess how it would go. The dude from Ontario Canada, the sex advisor, was just plain STUPID. Let's pretend he was from another country, can we?



And then we heard we had to wait for the following night to find out who would be The Bachelorette. I was actually happy to take a little break from the sliminess of the situation--making two seemingly lovely young women compete against each other in this silly popularity contest under the pretense of finding a husband.


  Tune in tomorrow for the second night assessment of the most controversial bachelorette ever in the history of the world, no, the universe.