I took a day to write this blog in an effort to get the bad taste out of my mouth from watching The Bachelorette last night.
I'm not sure why this season hasn't grabbed me like previous ones but something is very off. Things are being run differently, or Kaitlyn is crying too much, or Shawn B (is there another Shawn?) didn't read the show's description when it said "You might end up dating the same girl as 7 other men." It could still be that Nick Viall has not left the building yet. He continues to bug the bejesus out of me, (as my mother would've said.)
Let's recap last night, shall we?
The show is in picturesque Dublin or as I like to say Dooblin, to sound Irish. Shawn and Kaitlyn are having a heart to heart on her love seat and she is dying inside to think that he might know she banged Nick the night before in the next room. He doesn't know, or all you'd see of him would be the dust. And maybe smell his aftershave because I'm pretty sure Shawn is the kind of guy who has wonderful aftershave!
Tanner walks with Nick outside trash talking Shawn and leaving me to wonder why Tanner turned Team Nick all of a sudden, even revealing to Nick that Shawn cried when he didn't get the one on one. Hey, Shawn has it BAD for Kaitlyn. Haven't any of you out there had a relationship that might have made you drive for two days in diapers to go and kill your rival?
The two on one date is next with Joe from Kentucky (remember he had his left one hanging out of the sumo diaper?) and JJ, the confused father who popped his bestie's back pimple weeks before at the Bachelor mansion? Hmmm, let's see, which one is better husband material? That is such a tough one seeing Joe is funny, intelligent and is said to kiss like a dream. And JJ wears pink socks and looks like a deer caught in the headlights. And he's stupid enough to tell Kaitlyn that she needs to know he cheated on his wife. He does this just before she has to eliminate one man. It's you JJ! To rub salt in the wound, Kaitlyn leaves with Joe on the boat and JJ is left standing on the edge of the cliff, wondering if he should just jump now after he admitted on National TV that he cheated on his wife.
After this date, Shawn tromps that familiar path to his girlfriend's room while she's doing an on camera interview in her bedroom, and they sit down for their nightly heart to heart. Someone needs to take Shawn aside and feed him a chill pill. He's got weeks left to go, not to mention she's falling for about 5 other guys, even though she mistakenly told him off camera in San Antonio that he's the one. "Oops, did I say that?" Kaitlyn wonders. "I meant to say 'you're so much fun!'" Once you tell someone they are the one, you can't keep dating other guys. Not in Shawn B's book. He might have been the one two weeks earlier. Now he's the fifth or sixth. On twitter, people think he sounds drunk but I think he has a dreamy Hollywood voice. And he has an old fat dog back home so that gets him points with me.
It's the rose ceremony! We don't have to wait until next week! Ben Z is hunky and sweet, Ben H is tall and getting more interesting every week, Cupcake Chris has nice teeth, Nick is hanging around like a weed, Tanner is nothing, Jared is cute and sexy in a werewolf way, Shawn is high maintenance, and Joe has a rose already. Oh, Nick has a rose for great sex too.
I think at this point it's a nice gesture to take the losers out kindly, but no. Kaitlyn lines them up and when all the roses are gone, Ben Z and Tanner are left standing. Awww. Poor Ben Z.
Once they kiss the Blarney Stone, Jared helps Kaitlyn check in to her castle while the men find their one size fits all suite at the Randles Hotel in town. Chris Harrison has flown in by private helicopter and recommends that Kaitlyn be fair and give all the other men (besides Nick and Shawn) some off camera/alone time with her. Nick and Shawn had their time already. New Twist: This season the overnight dates will take place BEFORE hometowns so that if you sleep with Kaitlyn on the O/N date and you do really well, you can take her to meet your nice folks.
Chris the cupcake has the first one on one and they take a helicopter ride to the Cliffs of Moher for a picnic in what looks like a Black Hawk, not a tour helicopter.
This is the golden moment for Chris to sell himself, take Kaitlyn in his arms like a man and wow her. She gives him several chances by asking leading questions about what their life would be like in Nashville and Cupcake just smiles and answers like he's on a half hour game show. Kaitlyn realizes she doesn't want to be off camera with this guy who is sweet but has no connection with her. The helicopter can't get there fast enough for Kaitlyn and her tears and the Dentist is left crying on the cliff, wondering whether he should jump or not. I'm imagining what the producers said to him to make him cry like that. Maybe your performance in Aladdin lacked a little something. Next week, we continue with one on one overnights.
Now here is an Irish joke for you: Say these words very fast several times--Whale Oil Beef Hooked and now you are swearing like a true Irishman!