Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Theatrical Grandstanding on Men Tell All

Last night was the strangest Men Tell All in the history of The Bachelorette. It actually was!
The show featured someone getting down on one knee, someone digging himself deeper into the Villain Hole, someone peeing in the bushes and another man hogging the camera only to be outdone by a man in a pigeon mask and a heated discussion about whether Kaitlyn was a good Bachelorette.
The show began with a plug for Bachelor in Paradise, premiering August 2. Looks CRA CRA but then, did we expect anything different?
Next, Chris introduced the 20 guys and pointed out the BIP crew in the first row, leaving Carly, another woman (whose name escapes me but she was a widow on Chris Soules' season and it wasn't the narcissistic one) and Tenley. Jade, Ashley, Ashley and Claire manned the front row seats.
 Looks like some of the guys went straight to BIP from this Bachelorette. Joe, JJ, Justin, Jared and even though Tanner's name does not begin with a "J", he got to go too!
Right after the commercial break we got started on two separate topics, Ian's smack talking and J.J. and Clint's Bromance. Those two guys took the teasing well and they are clearly very good friends, even now. The Bachelorette Show made a mockery of their silliness and the two men played into it. I don't actually believe anyone popped anyone's pimples in the shower but, it turns out they didn't give the other guys a chance at friendship, they were so exclusive to each other.
Clint (who announced that he's a straight man, leaving me mistakenly thinking he meant his brand of comedy left him being the straight man) replied that he was there for Kaitlyn but didn't feel he was exclusionary. J.J. apologized for the moment he threw Clint under the bus before the rose ceremony and was really sorry he did that. Also J.J. said he slapped his own face because someone had to do it. Okay then...We get to see more of J. J. on BIP. Clint, the non-homosexual, seemed like a smart guy with a big chip on his shoulder and too much product in his hair.
As for the Princeton grad, Ian, Tanner said during the taping of the show Ian was in his room reading, didn't join in with the other men and kept himself separate. Sure they told some fart jokes but they also had meaningful conversations. To insult the other men and Kaitlyn like he did, and say he was above them all was just mean and wrong. Corey from NYC (who got very little screen time on the show but hogged the camera last night) said Ian was kind of right about Kaitlyn, though. She did some things that were in bad taste.
Ben H jumped in to defend Kaitlyn as a wonderful girl who had a depth to her if you stayed around long enough. Zing to Corey, who we don't even remember.
In response to the guys telling Ian he was wrong to not get to know them, the Princeton grad took off his suit jacket, rolled up his sleeves and got down on one knee before the men to apologize--a stupid gesture to repair one's reputation. Some one asked if he was proposing because that's what it looked like.
Ian was grandstanding theatrically, and it looked about as bad as him saying he really needed sex in his exit interview. I did not accept the apology.
Then Kupah threw out the question about letting Nick join the show late. Note: Kupah was also a management problem if you remember his exit. But now he's trying to start a new fashion trend by wearing his skinny tie INSIDE his shirt collar. Good try Kupah!
The men seemed to be split 50/50 about Nick, with some defending Kaitlyn's ability to do anything she wanted on the show and others saying it was disrespectful and wrong to let Nick stay.
Hot Seat Interview Time!
J.J. took the hot seat and we watched his montage recap and ended up just as confused as we were about this divorced dad, before the evening. C.H. asked if getting so close to Clint ruined his relationship with Kaitlyn but we didn't get an answer.
Ben Z was next in the hot seat, the mountain of a man with a tender heart, Chris called him. They played his montage that showed how sweet this guy actually is and to top it all off Ben said that this experience was amazing because it taught him to open up to the possibility of a relationship. Awwww.
Jared took the hot seat next and we were thrilled to see that he shaved. Apparently C.H. called him out on his spotty beard. Although Jared went on BIP immediately after he got voted out, he said he's still trying to get over Kaitlyn. I think he left the love door open there.
Ben H. joined Chris on stage to explain the night that Kaitlyn snuck in to Shawn's room. At that time he was Shawn's roommate, sleeping on a cot, while Shawn had the King bed, Kaitlyn had snuck away escaping the cameras and jumped in to bed with Shawn. The 3 talked for 6 hours, Ben went for a shower and when he came back, Kaitlyn and Shawn were in love. The vibe in the room was different, he said.
Then Kaitlyn herself came out on stage in yet another sparkly dress. Yawn. I like Kaitlyn. Alot! I think she's spunky, funny in a smell your own feet way, and super cute. But I'm sick of sparkly dresses.
C.H. read some vicious tweets and emails addressed to Kaitlyn calling her a whore so many times I wondered if the authors of the tweets were the same person. Some body out there doesn't believe in premarital sex, I guess. Apparently there were even death threats. Nobody, not even a reality TV star deserves death threats. Or being called names that viciously. CH said it best when he said he'd trust his kids with a so-called whore before he'd trust them with this mean cyber bully.
The men had a chance to talk to Kaitlyn a bit and here's what transpired:
Jared declared he wished he had more time with her before his final cocktail party. He hadn't foreseen the end or would have fought harder for her. Done things differently. I'm not sure it mattered to Kaitlyn.
Ben H. wondered why Shawn was told about having sex with Nick but not him, or anyone else. (She said she thought having that information was crucial to Shawn staying or not.)
They talked about Nick and if he and Kaitlyn had a relationship before she was chosen for the show. She said they'd formed something and remember, she wasn't sure she'd even end up as the next Bachelorette. "Try and date this many people and have it all televised," she said.
Ryan apologized for being all "horned up" that first night, without actually saying he got really drunk and ruined his chances.
Kaitlyn mentioned that after watching the show, she wondered why Clint didn't treat her like J. J. Good point.
Then Ian got back on his knees to apologize in front of Kaitlyn and America, just in case no one saw the first time. Get the hook.
Joe wore a pigeon mask to scare Kaitlyn (she's afraid of birds) and then we saw the blooper real, which is one of the best parts of this Men Tell All show. Joe had to pee in the gorgeous gardens in Ireland, a bug flies into Kaitlyn's lip gloss and numerous shots were ruined when birds got too close to the Bachelorette. Funny stuff.
The evening ended with a trailer about the final two men and the drama that is yet to unfold. It looks good but I have to say that having the men HATE each other has taken away from the show. It's added a negativity to the experience of watching The Bachelorette that is equivalent to knowing that the Bachelorette doesn't get engaged in the end.
Let's hope there is a happy ending in sight for Kaitlyn Bristowe. If not, I'd say give Jared another go, now that his spotty beard is off the table.
Oh and Bachelor in Paradise, the stupidest show on T.V. is on Sundays and Mondays in August, thereby changing my family's schedule drastically so the Mama can be home watching T.V. those two nights with a glass of wine in hand. How about you?

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