Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Head Punching and Comedy on The Bachelorette

This week's The Bachelorette continues where last week left off. It's dawn and everyone moves into their respective houses after last week's revelation that Kaitlyn is the Bachelorette.
C.H. visits Kaitlyn to talk with her about the upcoming weeks and then we see Britt crying on the phone to her Mom to tell her she isn't the chosen one. Who didn't feel badly for her? I did. She was blindsided. Never did she entertain the idea she might not make it. Then there is a knock on the door and Cody walks in to give her a hug. You might remember he left the show to go find Britt. Talk about timing. Well done, Cody, well done.

The first date this week is a group date with Daniel the fashion designer, Justin the blonde, Jarred the bearded one, Tanner the handsome guy, Kupah the DJ, Ben the muscle man, and Corey the other blonde guy. Off they go to a warehouse set up with boxing equipment and Laila Ali, women's boxing champ and Dancing with the Stars alumni. They learn the art of boxing while I cringe at home, knowing soon they will be pounding the sh*t out of each other in the ring. And my prediction comes true. I have to look away. Watching people fight is painful for me, especially when they are hitting each other in the head, where the brain is located, you might remember from health class. Brains are super important.
 Jarred is taken to the hospital to be checked out after a big punch to the side of his head and I am disgusted they always seem to do this on The Bachelorette. Note to future Bachelorettes: When they pitch this really fun idea, see it for what it is--a fight to the death for the girl, not a good-sported activity where everyone will laugh and bond. Ben Z. wins because he has 30 extra pounds of muscle on the guys. The cocktail party that night is without Jarred although on his way back from the hospital they allow him to send a note upstairs to get Kaitlyn to come down to say hi. Apparently the bearded restaurant manager is a good kisser. Jarred kind of looks like he could turn into a werewolf, doesn't he?
Back on the rooftop, Kaitlyn gives a rose to Ben, who admits that he likes to cook and his mom died when he was 14. He's not just a bunch of muscles after all.
The next date is a one on one and the artist who drew C.H. on a triceratops, Clint, gets the date. He and Kaitlyn drive to a poolside photo shoot, but wait, it's not poolside. It's an underwater photo shoot. This happens to be one of my favorite forms of photography. I happen to collect weird photos of women underwater. But enough about me. Kaitlyn and Clint have fun but the date seems kind of boring. Not her style. No sparks flying. However, at the rooftop dinner later, Kaitlyn declares he is a really good kisser too. Give that boy a rose for his kissing abilities. She does.
Back at the house, Gentle Tony, the plant talker guy is talking about love and coexisting after they get the final date card for a group of guys that includes him. He asks Justin advice on how to treat Kaitlyn.
With the help of funny lady Amy Schumer, Kaitlyn has the group date guys work on their standup routines at The Improv, one of L.A.'s famous comedy clubs. Ok, standup comedy is extremely difficult even if some of the country's best female funny ladies are helping the guys. Guess who is the least funny with absolutely no sense of humor at all. Tony. Yep. He has about as much funny as a rock and is two seconds from being boo'ed off the stage even though he tells the audience he's not a drinker and is now tipsy. JJ is obnoxious in his confidence and Amy says so to the camera, the dentist is funny, Ian is still pretty cute and after they pretty much fail as comics, they have a party where Kaitlyn wears another sparkly dress (?) and Kentucky boy gets some serious kissing in. JJ pulls the I have a preschool age daughter card to get the rose.
He's not a house favorite.
Meanwhile, Britt and Brady are on a date with ice cream cones and hand holding and he asks her to be his girl. Of course she says yes. Now she has saved face AND has a boyfriend she barely knows.

At the Rose Ceremony, the guys agree to let the men who didn't go on a date this week go first in talking to Kaitlyn alone. That is so incredibly nice of them! Wow! But wait. JJ ruins that by grabbing Kaitlyn after she slips into the room. The men do not like this at all. Tony the love guru even gets nasty about it, which is always fun to watch when someone who preaches love and calmness goes all ballistic. Ian the Princeton runner tells Kaitlyn his backstory, earning him some sympathy and then Kupah makes the worst mistake in Bachelor history. He pulls her aside to tell her that he thinks she doesn't even notice him. He won't leave it alone, can't stop talking, digs himself in deeper, until finally Kaitlyn calls a truce and they part. Kupah immediately heads off to a bunch of guys to loudly recount every word spoken and Kaitlyn hears all this from just around the corner. She pulls him aside and asks him to go home.

Then it gets interesting. He doesn't want to go and argues. "I don't want to go home. I think you're hot," he says like that is a good thing to say to a woman!
She sticks to her decision and he finally gets the message and heads to the driveway to film his contractually obliging exit interview. BUT, he doesn't want to talk to the camera and through the window, Kaitlyn sees him getting almost pushy with Elan Gale the hairy producer who sometimes sneaks on camera by accident. Kupah is pissed off!
To Be Continued flashes on the screen and we aren't even surprised because now these cliffhangers are a bonafide thing at The Bachelor.

Tune in next week to see if Kupah flattens Elan or if they have to call the big bruiser security guy who helped count roses last week.

While waiting, check out this fantastic set of 10 Romantic Suspense books for only .99 on Amazon. Is it a dream? No. They are only 99 cents. All ten. We are practically giving them away for the next few weeks.


  1. Thanks for the post, Kim. I forgot to watch last night plus my TV was wonky due to our "historic" storms in Houston. Will watch next week.

  2. Agreed on all fronts! The boxing "date" is just a really stupid idea. The biggest, most aggressive guy is gonna win -- period. It's not fun and it's not entertaining if it's cringeworthy, producers!
    Kaitlyn had better vote off dippy Tony. He's running out of feet to shoot! JJ is a bonafide di*k and Amy Schumer basically handed him his ass but he's too arrogant to realize it. Love Amy even more for calling him out tho!
    Kupah (is that "street" for Cooper?!) is a grade school misogynist who thinks if you comment on a girl's eyes, that she's hot or pretty, you've got an in. Maybe in middle school darlin' but not in adultville. Then it looks like there may be a drinking problem/bipolar disorder. To be continued, indeed!
    I'm crushin' on Ian ... those eyes! that smile! the height! I think the biggest coup this year is that Kaitlyn don't take no sh*t from nobody! She's the spunkiest Bachelorette so far. That alone will keep me tuning in.

  3. I thought it was funny that one of Bachelor in Paradise Alumni Marquel said he's hoping Tony makes it to hometowns just to see where that spawned from.