Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Bachelorette Won't Tell!

We are one show into Des's Season and I'm so looking forward to next Monday I could scream. This season looks interesting already with all the punching and crying going on in the previews. Wow! But Des won't say if she ends up engaged and neither will Chris Harrison. They are withholding that information until we get hooked on the guys, get favorites and can't look away. After the first episode, there is still a chance of losing viewers. So the producers have played their cards close to their scheming chests and are remaining mum about an engagement. But have you seen the guys? I'm not sure whether to be hopeful or not.
Let's start with the most unusual acts. And I say 'acts' because some of the men tried a little too hard to be noticed and rather than gaining points with Des, they disgusted and alienated her with their cheesy gimmicks.
The first loser to go home was Johnathon who acted drunk (or Cray-Cray) when he kept asking Des to go to the fantasy suite with her and wouldn't drop that bad joke even when he was told she was a nice girl and wouldn't be going in a dark room with him. On the first night! Did a supposedly sane man actually expect her to leave 24 hopeful bachelors, go off in a bedroom with him and do the dirty deed? Apparently. Des dismissed him before the rose ceremony and probably gave the producers the stink eye on the way back from the driveway. Or if she didn't, she should've. I'm sure the producers were all rubbing their hands together in a Doctor Evil way and salivating. They live for this stuff because it makes great ratings!
Another man did not wear a shirt and asked Des to accept his abs. Granted he had a twelve pack but I mean, come on. Even my teenage daughter yelled at the TV "Put on a shirt, Guy!' Nobody wanted to stare at his half naked body all night, especially after we'd seen him earlier, at his apartment fully naked, well except for that dastardly black rectangle that blocked out our view of his jumbly bits. Des felt badly for the guy though. To get that man to stop trying so hard (he stripped to boxer briefs and jumped in the pool) and probably because he had such horrible shrinkage when he exited the pool, she gave him a first impression rose while passing his shivering body later. There even was a man in armor. When he rented the metal suit that precluded him from walking, not to mention presenting himself in a good light, he didn't think beyond the metaphor. He looked like a weirdo, not like a spontaneous, fun guy.
One guy spoke in hashtags and that got old after about #oneminute. And then there was an ER doctor who made Des dance and her dress kind of ripped. She really didn't like him. Poor guy. The man with the horrible suit coat he made himself, just poked fun at her livelihood and passion for design. #notcool (Damned, now he's got me doing it) And then there was the magician who should have conjured up a red rose for himself instead auditioning on national TV for a Las Vegas show.
She picked her 19 guys, they toasted and Des looked happy at the end but we know different. We've seen the previews and there is terrible heartbreak and punching and name calling and girlfriends showing up to cry and embarass someone. This is why we will watch. WE want to see Des weed out the bad ones to get to the good ones so she can go on picnics on top of mountains and declare her love to the world.
I can't wait until the first group date to see if that ab guy wears a shirt. If not I'm putting a Ken doll shirt in front of the TV every time he comes on. Hear we go, Bachelorette!

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt 1 and 2, Short Novels available on Amazon for download. The series is modeled after The Bachelor
Amazon Link

1 comment:

  1. Jumbly bits? LOL!! My boys loved the #shrinkage. They watched it twice. They won't watch once the relational goo gets going but they do enjoy the first night follies. #Iwillbewatchingtherestalone