Saturday, January 26, 2013

Rock Star Confidence Crumbles

I teach a humble little course about Confidence to writers who tremble at the thought of getting up in front of thousands of adoring fans (or even 2). This story is what happened to me one Saturday, whilst teaching...

As I gazed out on the audience of attendees who came to ‘Channeling Your Inner Rock Star’ and I cautioned my listeners how to avoid reading the audience too closely, I realized that the group in front of me looked more bored than a group of supermodels at a class about humility.
I almost broke a sweat as I worried about how the women in front of me were receiving what I said. Am I being too confident about self-confidence? Not confident enough? Can they tell I’m worried that I’m not helping them enough? Am I simply feeding my desire to be watched, by doing this class? To be loved?  Accepted?
I stopped myself. Be confident. Assume they love you, Kim.
I followed my own advice and believed that they were praising the day they saw my name on the workshop lineup. It’s what you should do in a situation like this.
My audience on Saturday was a small group, given that the AVON live-stream online chat was five feet from our door (with cupcakes), but I was pleased at the turnout. I’d been prepared for one or two. Having been in the Bellevue Hilton bar years before, when we’d added to our group of cocktailers a gal who didn't have anyone attend her workshop. “Oh dang,” we’d said with glasses of chardonnay, “join us and you can do your workshop on us.”
Not my workshop though. I had attendees! After all, it was only 11 am. These pioneers had waded through a Cherry Adair chat and Avon loving bodies to get to the door of the workshop that would teach them how to channel the most confident, most engaging side of oneself in the new days of self- promotion. These gals had put off other incredibly helpful classes to see if I could offer some insight to confidence. All I needed was one person in the class to need me. To need the confidence to do their own PR work.
I raged on. And it was magic.
After the class, the person who I thought was most likely to run for the door in boredom, approached me with a story to break my heart--to make this reader want to champion for her, to read everything she’s written. And, I wondered what, in an audience of writers who worry about self confidence, was I expecting to see? The writers who attended my class, gave me confidence that there are many ways to support, to love and to champion for the women who have left the safe path to write novels. And that we totally rock. You totally rock. Just the fact that we write books, hoping to entertain and enlighten... I love us.
Singing ‘We are the champions, my friend...”

And now, in an effort to Channel my inner rock star, here is my new signature to show I’m social-media savvy...

Fancy Signature,
Kim Hornsby
Commercial Women's Fiction
You only journey if you dare to leave home

No comments:

Post a Comment