Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Technically Challenged but Hey, I Can Blog!

Ok, so I can't figure out Createspace, can't attach music to my slideshow/trailer and may self destruct as I try to promote my first book, but I'm trying, aren't I? At the age of 55, I was raised in an age (and town) where computers just weren't available. If they arrived in the school system it was after I graduated. I never sat behind a real computer until I was 40 and had my first baby. The internet had to be explained to me years before by an infommercial host I worked for who called it "the information highway". I'm pretty sure I rolled my eyes and thought he was drunk. How could you get all that information from a box on your desk, I mean really?
Twenty-two years later I have my very own kompooter and can type all kinds of things and publish stuff and pretend that people are listening to me. Yes, I have a blog, yes, I have a web page and yes I can email with the best of 'em but please don't ask me to format anything or delve too deeply into the bowels of WORD to fix anything. Or to go into the bowels of anything, come to think of it. I'm not very savvy at the box on my desk. I recently lost my whole address book in email and can't figure out how to get it back. This is not good seeing I want to email everyone I've ever known to ask them to buy my book. A year before I couldn't figure out how to access my photos, then realised that they have their very own file. It's too much for this old brain. Do I have to learn all this too even though I just think I figured out how to write a book. Yes, yes, I think so. I fear I will get left behind like the kid in Home Alone if I don't learn to keep up. Tweeting is baffling to me and I keep asking my ten year old to figure it out and then let me know in 4 words or less. Facebook is relatively understandable. Email is a breeze unless I go on vacation and can't get in to my account that I've had since I sat at my first computer. BUT, creating slideshows with music has got me pulling my already thinning hair out by the roots and having to join all these groups in Yahoo and post and contribute has me wishing I was a little more technically minded. I'm exhausted just thinking about all this.
Here are some words that didn't exist when I was at the top of my retention and understanding game: Download, jpg, tweet, kindle, pinterest, blog, vlog, hyperlink, internet, search engine ( I still am not sure what this is) and smart phone. The latter of which I do not have, nor do I want.
I am a self published author, as well as published with a real, live NY publishing house and I'm damned lucky to have gotten that far. Super, uber-lucky, some would say, namely some lady on Goodreads named Jayne something who gave my novel a rating of 2 when everyone else loved it. I know I'm fortunate to be where I am, although self pubbing is only a matter of choice, not brains or talent, and I am thankful to be in this space age decade of being able to read off a glowing panel in my hands as I lie in bed at night, especially reading my very own book--words I put on that page. The thought of it is heady.
So when you ask why I haven't created a kick-ass trailer for either of my published books or why I don't tweet more, or share cool photos on FB, please imagine my ability to do these things as a baby lying in a blanket waiting for someone to diaper and feed it. Useless. Dependant on whatever information another writer wants to throw my way.
It isn't that I don't want to do these things. I do. I'm just not developed enough as a modern writer to draw on these new-fangled, dad-burned devices to use what's in front of me. I'm trying the best I can with what I have. No tweeting for now and probably no trailers. But at least there will be books.
Over and out for now. Thanks for reading, as always!

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