Writing Romance is Harder Than it Reads!

Ever read a romance novel and think "I could write this stuff!" Well you can't. Not without years of hard work, training and tears. For those of you who have the know-how, (and I don't mean the personal romance know-how) and the education, this doesn't mean you. I'm talking to the people who poo poo the genre and say it is easy to write a romance. If it were, wouldn't everyone do it?
If a romance author let you think you could do it without a degree in creative writing, or at the very least classes and workshops on novel writing, they are probably one fine writer. Making the story flow, making you feel you are a part of the story and can write like that if you tried, is the sign of a good writer. It might look simple, but it is not.

Thank God I didn't know this before I started my first novel. I said those above fated words while reading a Susan Wiggs romance one summer. It seemed to me that there was nothing to thinking up a compelling story and then just typing it out. No offence to the author but sheesh, just write a handsome man, a woman the reader would care about, a nice setting, story and BINGO! Publication.
I was so confident, I started writing in the fall and had a spring power outfit hanging in my closet for an inevitable meeting with my editor in New York.

In some ways it's wonderful to be so confident. I'd just been on a family vacation in Canada, over the border from Eastern Washington, and decided to set this blockbuster hit on a lake, like the one we'd just been to. And then I started writing. And deleting. And writing. And deleting.
This wasn't my first novel, but it was my first romance. I'd already written a Women's Fiction that had been rejected by some of the finest agents and editors in NYC, so you see, I wasn't totally green. Just unpublished and uneducated about the process of novel writing. Aside from a few workshops on the Hero's Journey, I had no clue. I didn't even read romance but after reading Susan Wiggs' novels, I thought I might start.

Then I read somewhere that the second book doesn't usually sell. It's purpose is solely to babysit the dust bunnies under your bed, The third book was the one that would sell. Regardless, I finished the book, sent out a queries, and got rejected by some of the finest agents and editors, not only in NYC but all over this fine country. It was unanimous. No one wanted it. No one wanted the first thirty pages, let alone the full manuscript. Although I loved the high concept, no one else did. I'd written a story about a modern day Goldilocks and the Three Bears, something that apparently would sink like a lead hard copy, and I was told repeatedly that it was a bad idea. It had either been done to death or couldn't be done, I can't remember which.

That was bad news to me, who had a series all planned out with Red Riding Hood and Jack and the Beanstalk about modern day women who find themselves in similar circumstances to the nursery stories. The completed romance was titled Goldy and the Bayers, about a rock singer who suddenly retires and escapes the media by hiding out at her lake house, only to find herself spying on the family next door - the Bayers.

The completed manuscript collected dust for several years while I continued writing. I'd gotten too far in to quit now. I had thousands invested in Writers' Conferences and posit notes and felt I owed it to myself to prove that writing a book and getting it published was super simple! Dammit!
When I saw a call for Fairytale stories by Entangled Publishing, I ventured under the bed to get Goldy, and sent the pitch to several other publishers while I was at it.

Then I got a shovel, a pick ax, and a big garbage bag and started editing and cleaning up the first three chapters. When several publishers asked for the full, I smirked and told myself to dig out that Power Suit for NYC. Turned out I hadn't exactly written a romance. No siree. According to several agents who almost considered representing me at this point in my almost career, the story wasn't formulaic enough. Apparently there is a definite formula to follow for romance and I hadn't done that. In the first few pages my hero did not catch the protagonist when she fell off a ladder in her Daisy Dukes, his hand getting tangled in the jean rips, until they broke apart, embarrassed. I wasn't sure what the formula was, but when one of the queried editors suggested some easy changes to make it fit the formula, I gladly said yes and signed on the dotted line. Thank you Ally Robertson!

Writing romance is not easy. And it isn't just me who's had a hard time at this. Most writers will tell you that if you think it's easy, the joke is on you. Writing a romance (and a believable sex scene, while we're talking about it) takes a ton of skill and talent. It is not the walk in the park it looks to be and next time you read a novel that's as smooth as a piece of crustless cheesecake, think about the craft that goes into writing your entertainment.
How about it writers? Anyone ever heard that romance writing is easy?

Kim Hornsby is the author of Amazon Bestseller, Necessary Detour with The Wild Rose Press, originally named Goldy and the Bayers.

Freaky Dreams-Had Any?

Dreams can be freaky. Just the thought of going off somewhere with strangers while you sleep is enough to keep anyone awake. Anyone or anything can enter your dream life to attack or torment. Conversely, you can do anything within a dream, be anyone you want. Wouldn’t it be FAN-Freaky-TASTIC to just set an order for a dream about your favorite movie star or a tropical vacation and then go to sleep knowing it would be your REM entertainment? 

Some believe you can. I tried it the other night but it kind of backfired. I was thinking about Hugh Jackman singing to me when I went to sleep but instead of dreaming of Wolverine or Van Helsing, I had a dream that I was Chuck Norris's girlfriend and he was REALLY standoffish. (I'd been tossing around Chuck Norris jokes with my daughter earlier) Maybe the trick is to think of your dreamy boyfriend earlier in the day then try to forget him so it gets pushed back to the hindbrain. Read on...

Some experts think that dreams are nothing but your pesky hindbrain’s need for stimulation while the body has gone to sleep. During REM (Rapid Eye Movement or Deep Sleep) messages are sent to the front brain to keep active and those messages link up with your memories and feelings to concoct a dream. Here’s a funny example: In a study, dreamers who wore red colored glasses before sleep had dreams that involved the color red. Taking this further, I’m wondering if I went to sleep with photos of Hugh Jackman taped to my eyeballs...

If you were hoping that dreams were more mysterious, keep reading. Something truly freaky is coming. Not everyone believes that your dream themes stem from sexual frustrations. Even Freud. Many scientists who have analyzed dreams have no explanations or interpretations but most agree that if you’re being chased, it probably means you’re afraid of something in waking life.

There is a whole, huge dream dictionary online where you can retrieve specifics but again, no one knows for sure what a dream means. Some common themes such as public nudity, losing teeth, and flying, continue to baffle even the best psychiatrists. I think we can all agree if you dream you have gone to a PTA meeting stark-naked, you have repressed insecurities and feelings of not being well liked by your peers. Can we move on to less obvious ideas now?

Flying is supposedly linked to sexual feelings but I disagree. I’d like to agree because I dream of flying all the time and I’m damned good at it. An expert, in fact. 'Nuff said.

My recurring dream theme is about entering a house with rooms, and doors, and connections to more rooms that never seem to end. Often the top floor is haunted by something evil, the wind swirling around ominously, spirits taunting me to climb the stairs etc. Sometimes I must rescue something up there. Once it was my mother who’d recently died. She was a tiny owl and I set her free out a window. But usually I avoid the top floor knowing that it is the worst form of evil there is and the likelihood of getting out is not good. I don’t even venture to the floor just below it in case something grabs me. According to dream sites, the house is me, my mind, and the attic is supposed to be my intellect. So what I get from this is: I’m afraid to be intelligent. Is that what you got too? In real life, I am not a cerebral Rhodes scholar type person whose thirst for knowledge drives me to distraction. I’m a people person (I like to say, cheerfully). So maybe my hindbrain wants more and my front brain thinks it’s a bad idea to get too smart. I don’t know.

Lucid dreams are when you know you’re dreaming within your dream. Ever done that? I remember as early as five years old having a dream about my kindergarten teacher throwing me down the stairs (don’t ask) and me saying to her that it was fine that she was about to send me flying because it was only a dream.

Then, there are things called W.I.L.D. dreams and I’m not talking about what you might think. Wake Induced Lucid Dreams are the holy grail of lucid dreaming. It’s a method of going from fully awake to a lucid dream of vivid proportions. Supposedly it takes a ton of practice and very few can do it. This is where ordering your dream might kick in nicely.

During the time you are in REM at night, you are dreaming, whether you remember them or not. If you are woken during REM, you are more likely to remember your dream. Try this idea by setting an alarm clock. You could be rewarded by remembering one. 

Here’s the freaky part I was telling you about. There is such a thing as a precognitive dream where you dream something that comes true. Now this idea is completely inexplicable in scientific terms and not well received by anyone who tends to think logically. However, Mark Twain once had a vivid precognitive dream showing his beloved brother in a coffin with an arrangement of roses on his chest, only to have it come true within the month. His brother was killed in a tugboat explosion and ended up in a coffin exactly like the one in the dream, right down to the one red rose in the midst of all the white roses. Charles Dickens had two supernatural experiences involving dreams. Once, his dead father visited him in a dream and Charles awoke to find him sitting on the edge of his bed. The second time, he dreamed of his sister in law who’d recently died. He’d loved her in real life and had several dreams of meeting her in his dreams. After one such dream, he awoke to see her apparition floating in his bedroom, eventually disappearing through the room’s ceiling. I did not know this when I wrote The Dream Jumper’s Promise but found this very interesting. If you read my book, you’ll see why.

In that novel I take the idea of lucid dreaming and W.I.L.D. dreaming one step further to a level where you are able to share dreams with another person. I honestly thought I made this up but it turns out there is such a thing as a shared dream. And it turns out there is a movie called "Inception" about this too. When I saw the ad for that movie a few years ago, I was angry that they’d somehow stolen my idea but I finished editing the book and eventually published anyways. I’m glad I did because there are many differences in how the writer of "Inception" and I approach dream jumping. For one, my jumper doesn’t intravenously squirt anything into his veins. He enters the dream through a psychic connection, matching his breathing to his subject’s. Luckily Jamey Dunn (my hero) is a moral person and would never jump into someone’s dream to swindle a Fortune 500 business man.

In The Dream Jumper’s Promise, Jamey and his former love Tina, (who has just lost her husband) share dreams to try to find out what happened the day the husband went surfing and never returned. I wanted to call it a paranormal theme but there are no vampires or shape shifters. Then I wanted to call it romantic suspense but it’s got this para aspect. Maybe someday Amazon Kindle will have a category within paranormal called Dream Jumping. You never know.

Obviously I find dreaming extremely fascinating. How about you? Had any strange dreams lately? Let's hear!

FREE NOVEL Download on Kindle!!

My novel Necessary Detour is FREE today until Sunday on Amazon Kindle! Please "buy" it and help a poor starving author reach her dream of getting this one into the top ten list for FREE KINDLE.
http://amzn.com/B00AU50M76

After a stalker's attack, rock star Goldy Crossland flees L.A. for her secluded lake house in Northern Washington. Retired from the music business, she hopes to avoid both the press and her psychotic fan. But obscurity leaves her restless, and when a mysterious--and disturbingly handsome--new neighbor moves in, she can't resist spying.

Pete Bayer is undeniably attractive, but Goldy quickly realizes there's something strange going on in the log house across the bay. Is he a member of the paparazzi? Or a much more sinister threat? Despite her suspicions, Goldy can't deny her fascination with him.

When the press discovers her hideout, it's Pete who offers an escape route, but it comes with a price. Unwillingly drawn into his dangerous world, Goldy soon learns the reason behind Pete's secrecy--and her crush on her charming neighbor takes a deadly turn.

RETIRED ROCK STAR finds trouble in the woods of Northern Washington.

I"m on a blog tour this week.
Wednesday I'm at www.tessaberkley.com
Thursday I'm blogging at http://nancyjardine.blogspot.com
Friday I'm at Linda CAroll-Bradd's site     http://blog.lindacarroll-bradd.com/
And Saturday I'll be over at Lisa Wells  http://authorlhyoung.wordpress.com/

More lined up, including a blog hop starting next week.

Rock Star Tips

Yesterday I guest blogged and promised tips on building self confidence for public speaking (Rock Star Tips) and realized that post is no longer here. Only a silly nattering on about how I was nervous conducting my workshop Channeling Your Inner Rock Star.

Here are my tips in a nutshell (acorn, if you're wondering)

When speaking in public or just meeting your public:

1. Wear something fabulous that makes you feel extra special. Even a pedicure counts because the whole idea is to make you FEEL like you are extraordinary. Carry a small token to give you courage, like a seashell.
2. Give yourself a stage name if you don't already have a pen name. This will be how you refer to yourself in your own mind when summoning the alter ego who is fabulous in front of crowds and oozes self confidence.
3. Imagine that person has an entourage, a secretary, a personal umbrella handler (PUH) and twenty employees who handle her every need. She also has a second home in ______. You fill in where you've always wanted to live, given scads of moulah.
4. Smile, Nod, Take deep breaths. People will wait if you seem confident. Don't be afraid of dead space. It is like the period after your profound comment.
5. Imagine the group in front of you as a gathering of friends who love you. They WANT you to be fabulous, engaging, honest. There's nothing worse than trying to watch someone who is terrified of failure or rejection. If you believe you are wonderful, the audience will too.
6. Don't look directly at anyone, just scan the sea of faces, in a large crowd and play to the back of the room.
7. If they laugh at your joke, use that pause to collect yourself and proceed.
8. Try to enjoy the fact that people are listening to what you have to say. It doesn't need to be profound, only temporarily entertaining. For the moments you are speaking, you must imagine that they find you interesting, or they wouldn't still be sitting there.

There are scads more tricks but these are the essentials. Feel free to email me if you need some personal love or attention about speaking in front of a group. You are FABULOUS!
Kim

The Dream Jumper's Promise #2!!

I have no problem being #2. Ever. In any situation (except love). At this point - 36 hours into a 48 hour FREE KINDLE giveway on Amazon I have 'sold' over 10,000 copies of this novel and am holding at #2 for Women's Fiction and Contemporary. I'm holding at #3 for Romantic Suspense. Strangely enough, the gal who is beating me has both books above mine. I won't put her name here and give her free publicity until my free days ends. BUT I did email her to say congrats. I'm not a total jerk, just partial. Having auditioned all my life for parts in acting, I won't help another competitor during the competition. Learned that lesson the hard way. I'm thrilled she and I are doing so well and I bet she is too although she is not a new author.
I can't pull myself away from the computer today except to get tea, drive my son to sell a soccer jersey and go to the loo. It's so exciting. Both nights I've stayed awake watching the numbers go up.
Last time I went free I got to #6 in Women's Fiction for one hour but mostly stayed below the top ten line for all 3 days. This time I did more marketing, tweeted, FB'ed to the point of nausea and changed my blurb and cover.
The cover now has more of the bronzed bodies on the front cover, darker blue in the sky and a more compelling lead line: "A mysterious ability, a broken promise, a life changed forever"
And I put Christine M. Fairchild's quote at the beginning of my description to get her opinion on the page seeing she's the Editor Devil and they keep removing her great review.
The blurb now focuses more on the romance. I didn't want it to sound like the typical romance blurb but I think it came off showing the reader that there will be some hot stuff in the pages of this book. After all, I want to represent it truthfully and also sell books. What I noticed last time I went free was that the top downloads had couples on the cover in an intimate pose. And that the blurbs were not beautifully written. So I went ahead and tried to model them.
I read a review this week for an edgy book called Sins and Needles and she rounded up many pro reviews before her free days and put them before her blurb. Her book did really well on the free listings so I copied her.
Must go now and tweet again. Maybe some last minute efforts to sell in the UK too before all the Brits go to bed!
Wish me luck
http://amzn.com/B00AA4FAJC

Rock Star Confidence Crumbles

I teach a humble little course about Confidence to writers who tremble at the thought of getting up in front of thousands of adoring fans (or even 2). This story is what happened to me one Saturday, whilst teaching...

As I gazed out on the audience of attendees who came to ‘Channeling Your Inner Rock Star’ and I cautioned my listeners how to avoid reading the audience too closely, I realized that the group in front of me looked more bored than a group of supermodels at a class about humility.

I almost broke a sweat as I worried about how the women in front of me were receiving what I said. Am I being too confident about self-confidence? Not confident enough? Can they tell I’m worried that I’m not helping them enough? Am I simply feeding my desire to be watched, by doing this class? To be loved?  Accepted?

I stopped myself. Be confident. Assume they love you, Kim.

I followed my own advice and believed that they were praising the day they saw my name on the workshop lineup. It’s what you should do in a situation like this.

My audience on Saturday was a small group, given that the AVON live-stream online chat was five feet from our door (with cupcakes), but I was pleased at the turnout. I’d been prepared for one or two. Having been in the Bellevue Hilton bar years before, when we’d added to our group of cocktailers a gal who didn't have anyone attend her workshop. “Oh dang,” we’d said with glasses of chardonnay, “join us and you can do your workshop on us.”

Not my workshop though. I had attendees! After all, it was only 11 am. These pioneers had waded through a Cherry Adair chat and Avon loving bodies to get to the door of the workshop that would teach them how to channel the most confident, most engaging side of oneself in the new days of self- promotion. These gals had put off other incredibly helpful classes to see if I could offer some insight to confidence. All I needed was one person in the class to need me. To need the confidence to do their own PR work.

I raged on. And it was magic.

After the class, the person who I thought was most likely to run for the door in boredom, approached me with a story to break my heart--to make this reader want to champion for her, to read everything she’s written. And, I wondered what, in an audience of writers who worry about self confidence, was I expecting to see? The writers who attended my class, gave me confidence that there are many ways to support, to love and to champion for the women who have left the safe path to write novels. And that we totally rock. You totally rock. Just the fact that we write books, hoping to entertain and enlighten... I love us.

Singing ‘We are the champions, my friend...”

And now, in an effort to Channel my inner rock star, here is my new signature to show I’m social-media savvy...

Fancy Signature,

Kim Hornsby

Commercial Women's Fiction

You only journey if you dare to leave home

The Dream Jumper’s Promise

Necessary Detour

www.kimhornsby.net

www.kimhornsby.blogspot.com

http://twitter.com/kimhornsby