Jo Jo Tosses Bad Chad!

I'm feeling guilty and inadequate about not reporting in on The Bachelorette yet when I have so many readers asking me where's my blog. So here goes:











I loke Jo Jo (between love and like) She is a great Bach so far. Wears cute clothes, admits that guys are sexy hot, treats the guys well without making it seem like a harem, and has kept the hair twirling to a minimum, thank God! She also had the good sense to cut Bad Chad loose even though he made GREAT TV and was the man we loved to hate.

BAD CHAD

On Monday we got to see Bad Chad hike up to the house in the woods, scrape his nails down the glass door and wait to be let in so he could start yet another confrontation with the boys, I mean men. Chad needs to join a friendship club to learn some social skills. That or have one ball removed. He's too much! Why are the jerkiest guys so very handsome??? Why? If Chad had what I think is Derek's personality...

So Chad says that Alex (the stocky Marine) lied about him. "Now I have to go find Alex," he said. Chad, if you're reading this, please remember that if Alex turns up dead, you are the #1 suspect. Like Elsa sang in FROZEN, Let it go, let it go!

Marine Alex

Alex returns a hero and gets a cake in his face for his efforts to expel Chad. He also gets a swollen head and his nice guy demeanor is seen flying off in the PA breeze.
At the rose ceremony, Robby is metrosexually groomed, James F reads a sweet poem, Jordan has her up against the wall with kissing, and Derek still reminds me of Jim on The Office.
The Canadian heads home before he can embarrass us Canucks any more with his posturing and eh'ing all over the place. Also, James from Nashville who wrote the poem, is cut loose. WTF?? I liked him. He must've said or done something we didn't know about. Poor James!

They head to the airport and board a tiny cartoon plane to Uruguay, land of ocean and goats, it seems. I don't know about you but Uruguay was not shown in a light that made me ever want to go there. Rain, modern ugly hotel, goats (again). Someone said they had a 360 degree of the ocean from the men's suite and I'm thinking that guy needs to go back to sixth grade math. Unless the suite was on an island, they did not have that many degrees.
Jordan gets the one on one. He's a contender and definitely has Jo Jo's interest. He might be too much too fast though and that's usually the kiss of death in the game. While they swim with seals in heavy wetsuits and kiss some more, Vinny opens his own barbershop at the men's suite and even has the latest tabloid that tells of Jo Jo being involved with her old boyfriend before the show started. The guys don't understand how tabloids work (and pay!) and some believe their collective girlfriend isn't there for the right reasons. Many are upset. Remember, these guys have NOTHING to do all day but talk to each other so I'm cutting them a bit of slack. They have Stockholm Syndrome for Jo Jo.
The group date involves sand surfing until it starts to rain, then they all clean up and go for cocktails. Evan has avoided a bloody nose so far. Derek admits he's smitten, is having a tough time with no attention from Jo Jo and gets the rose, something the men find hateful. An imaginary target is drawn on Derek's back by some.
Robby gets the second one on one date and they jump off a cliff into the ocean, swim, kiss, and go to town, literally. He's a contender for Jo Jo's hand. Man, some of these guys have a lot of hair! I can't imagine the hair products in their bathrooms. Robby's date moves to a picturesque farm where it's either raining or going to rain. I believe there are goats involved.
At this point, my notes stop, either because I lost my pen or I got up to get a glass of wine and lost interest in taking notes.

Derek

What I can tell you is that Derek is a new target and the guys don't like him particularly. He's quiet, but not mean or nasty so I don't know what the big deal is. Derek takes the guys outside at the next rose ceremony to talk to them but it turns kinda sideways proving that young men can be just as catty as young women when there is a mating dance involved.

At the ceremony, Jo Jo sends home Evan, the nosebleeder, Vinny the barber and Grant. Remind me who Grant is again? Oh yes, the hunky fireman. Why him? Oh well. It's not the rest of MY life she's choosing for. Evan had the absolute best exit speech EVER! Check out my twitter to see it. www.twitter.com/kimhornsby


That's it for now. Apologies for the typos. These blogs usually take about 2-3 hours and this took 20 minutes. More next week!

Kim Hornsby is a Bestselling Author of Suspense and Romance who lives in the Seattle area and personally knows a Bachelor alumni. Her opinions are her own and not those of the dogs lying at her feet begging for treats.
Find her books on Amazon, including The Husband Hunt, a novella strangely similar to a season of The Bachelor.

Billboard Awards - Kesha Bleeds on Stage

2016 Billboard Awards were a night of extremes. Here's my brief thoughts as a former singer, actress, performer, dancer and all round noisy pants with opinions:

These opinions, as always, are my own and not those of the dogs lying at my feet or the teenagers nearby complaining about never having enough snacks in the house.

Britney Baby - She wasn't drunk, high, and her hair extensions survived the stripper-like choreography and hair swishing. Highly entertaining and even though she wore little more than pasties and a thong, Brit has never pretended to be anything other than a sex symbol. She doesn't try to be a role model for young women anymore. Her Vegas show is full of expletives and stripper poles, apparently. Two words to describe her extremely suggestive set: sexy and powerful.

Justin Beiber - Love the Biebs! He's a cutie with oodles of talent and did a good job last night. His set wasn't flashy, he didn't beg us to like him, he lip synced to his own track as well as singing along (unlike Britney, I believe) and as a performer who was nominated in several categories this year and had a great chance of winning something, I was happy to see him dance. Two words to describe his enjoyable set: capable and understated.

Kesha

Kesha - What can I say about this artist who hasn't performed in 5 years because of her legal battles with her record label? Dr. Luke allowed her to perform tonight and we're glad he did. Dressed in a white suit and tie, the artist performed the show-stopper of the night--a version of Bob Dylan's "It Aint Me Babe," lyrics that begged Dr. Luke to let her go without her ever mentioning the man she accuses of so many more things than mismanagement. I teared-up with Kesha's raw rendition. Had she been on her knees it wouldn't have been any more clear. It was like she was bleeding all over the stage. #FreeKesha Two words: Heart Wrenching

Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani - A muchly anticipated duet by The Voice sweethearts who kept their relationship secret for a long time and aren't seen in public much. He looked like a country star, she wore a beaded gown and movie star hair with pink eye shadow (?) and they sang in harmony staring at each other nervously. They did not look like they were having a wonderful time at all but who knows. Two words: Disjointed and anticipated

Meghan Trainor - This once country (?) singer looked like a cross between Britney and the new Taylor Swift in her choreography and song choice. I believe Ms. Trainor has abandoned country officially with her new song, No, a great message for young women. I like her. I liked her transition and admire her spunk. Two words: Brave and Tuneful

Nick Jonas - He sang beautifully. And Live, not Lip Syncing! I doubt he wore makeup and he def has never worn braces. This guy is the real deal. His duet with Tove Lo, Close, was well done although she was a little pitchy, then the set rotated and we got Devi Lovato who I love! She was awesome, hitting high notes that shouldn't even be notes, strutting and selling her new song Cool for the Summer. Two words: Nick: Real Demi: Showful

Ciara

Ludacris and Ciara - As hosts they did a good job but they are no Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, or most other duos who get the honor to host a major awards show. Ciara changed gowns and hairstyles every time we cut to commercial which made it more interesting but the chemistry between the two hosts was just lukewarm.

Ariana Grande - Great performance, gorgeous voice, fun ponytail. She reminded me of a female Justin Beiber. She wasn't overly sexual, like Brit, and she didn't stand at the mike like Kesha but it was somewhere between both those performances. Two words: Entertaining and Talented

Rhianna - Amazing rendition of a blues number, Love on the Brain by an incredible talent. Loved everything about this performance! I'm a big blues fan but her vocal interpretation was incredible and reminded me of Whitney Houston Two words: Absolutely Spellbinding


Madonna - I have been a big fan of Madge in the past but last night she looked frozen, terrified, stiff, overly suited up, and wooden. Probably she was scared of ruining a Prince song seeing she's not known for vocal perfection but rather as a performing artist. Thus, her performance could've leaned a bit towards the Britney camp with more movement, showmanship and less starched tuxedo and hairspray. Two words: Disappointing and Stiff

Pink - Along with Cirque style trapeze work, Pink did an amazing job of Just Like Fire, proving that you don't have to show a lot of skin and dance provocatively to be artistic. Two words: Daring and Artistic

The Weekend - He did not perform but was up for a ton of awards, mostly for his song I Can't Feel My Face, which I sang along to in the car all last summer. His hair is his brand. He spoke well even though he gushed about how well he knew Prince but said he'd never met him. I was happy to see that Bieber and Adele won some awards as well but The Weekend was the big winner last night, apparently. Two words: Hair, Catchiness

Notes: Taylor Swift was absent, Wiz Kalifah was eloquent, Celine Dion was choked up and Joe Jonas is in DNCE!

Kim Hornsby is an Amazon Bestselling Author, having shared the top five list with Stephen King and Dean Koontz in Psychic Suspense. Find her books and bio on Amazon,

Dreaming and Remembering Them

Dreaming. Everyone does it. But not everyone remembers their dreams when they wake. I usually remember the last thing I dreamed and when I wake up I try to compose a tweet about the dream. Then I tweet it when I get on my computer, an hour later. Sometimes sooner.
If you follow me on twitter you'll see these rambling tweets. Or go over to #strangedreams It's mostly me and my dreams on that site.
Sometimes dreams leave me with an emotion I carry with me throughout the morning and that can really suck if the subject matter was scary or sad. I'm sure we've all woken up sad and wondered why. I love it when I have a happy dream and wake up happy, or excited about something, or wake up having just had a flying dream. These are my favorites and I have to wonder how I know what it feels like to fly.
But I do.
I have a very clear idea of what it feels like to be up that high and to glide over cities and water and bridges and trees. I wish I could dream of flying every night but I probably only have one of these a month. The feeling of flying is heady and wonderful, like scuba diving in some regards.

Dreams are still an enigma in this modern world. Scientists say it's our hind brain not shutting off when we sleep and feeding us images and ideas, like a pestering child. I prefer to think we actually visit alternate universes.We travel while we sleep.
I write books that always have the protagonist dreaming. Sometimes the heroine has a recurring dream. I have a novel series where the two main characters dream together and apparently this is possible. I had no idea when I started this series.
Dreams have always found their way into my books. Early on in my writing career, I heard that it's an author no no to start a novel with a dream. And to end the novel by saying the story was all a dream. Then I heard that people don't read books about dreams. I wasn't sure why but by the time I heard this advice I was too far gone and working on my next book about Dream Jumping, or sharing dreams. It's only been recently that I realized that the one thing all my novels have in common is dreaming. All the female protagonists are affected by their nightly dreams. Even the novel I'm releasing in the next few months, and doesn't have a thread of supernatural in it, has some strange dreams. Even my romantic suspense novel has the heroine dreaming about this and that. Mostly about the hunky, yet elusive neighbor. Because I remember dreams in the morning and because my husband calls out in his dreams nightly, I am affected greatly by my dream life.
The Dream Jumper Series has some weird-ass dreams and lots of information on lucid dreaming, Wake Induced Lucid Dreams and even ghosts entering dreams, which is something I think I made up until I hear from a reader that it's happened to them.

What about you? Do you dream? Ever had a lucid dream where you know you're dreaming?

I (Shamelessly) Pitched my Novel to Hollywood!

I pitched my novel, The Dream Jumper's Promise, to Hollywood players last weekend. That's the short version.

Former Cover

Here's the long version:
Over two days at the Universal City Hilton Hotel, I got 7 minutes of unadulterated privacy with a Hollywood producer to share the bare bones of my story line.

Final Cover

I also shoved my book into the purses of two other producers, one of whom said she thought my log line was intriguing, the other who was basically trying to leave the room. I weaseled my way into conversations and made the most of my short stint in Hollywood like my children's futures depended on this weekend, which is kind of true. As a polite Canadian, I'm not proud of my behavior but I had a brief opportunity to make a connection and I tried to put myself out there, just in case.





How Did I Happen Upon This Opportunity?

Just before I left the room to pitch!

The organization, Sisters in Crime, has a Hollywood chapter that's run by screenwriters, scriptwriters, actors, novelists, talented people in their own right, and they organized an event for an elite number of novelists to come together at the Hollywood Hilton last weekend to learn how to adapt a book to Hollywood and pitch said book to some high powered producers. Free! A friend referred me.
I was accepted very last minute and booked a plane ticket that cost way more than if I'd planned this in advance. But, this was the opportunity of a lifetime for me. I'm a big movie fan, former actress, and pitching to Hollywood just sounded so damn sexy when I said it out loud!


What Did it Involve?
Over 48 hours, we authors were treated to talks from David Isaacs (Writer of Mad Men, Cheers, Frasier, Mash etc), Ron Mardigian (former senior agent at William Morris), Pam Veasey (producer/writer CSI Cyber), and a host of other industry professionals that would knock your socks off. Can you say Giving Back? Pretty sure these people didn't get paid and most of them did not come to the Hilton necessarily looking for a book to adapt.
Some did though.

Hart Hanson, creator of Bones

Over the two day event we networked, schmoozed, learned how to write a treatment, pitched, and watched a scriptwriter fall off a stage and break his ankle. True. I was talking to another polite Canadian who writes Bones when the writer of Agents of Shield stepped back and disappeared off the back of the stage where he'd just charmed everyone with stories of writing for Hollywood. Both Hart Hanson and I said "Excuse me," like polite Canadians, and bolted to the scene.

When the guffuffle died down, I spoke briefly to the producer who'd caught my attention during the talk and sounded like she might be open to a new idea, Michele Mulroney (Sherlock II) and she took my novel. I have to admit, I felt a bit whorish doing business right after Drew's accident but hey, it's Hollywood and I'd scraped together the pennies to get to California. I had one shot at Michele Mulroney and Hart Hanson was off to the ER with Drew. I'd been about to hand Hart my novel and beg him to develop a TV show around The Dream Jumper when our attention landed elsewhere. Damn.

The day before, I'd pitched to Jane Goldenring who took my book, applauded my one liner, was very gracious and accomplished, and I'm hoping she takes a look at my little Indie self-pub and sees something that would translate to the big screen and make a lot of money.
I also pitched to Stan Spry from Cartel Management and he liked the idea of the book and referred me to Haley Stoessl, Manager of Development. Haley gave me her card.

Drew Greenberg at hotel valet stand after the Emergency Room. 

Friday night, at the Sisters in Crime cocktail party, I descended on Snowfall Films exec and powerhouse, Suzanne Lyons, who asked me to send her something-- Suzanne is also Canadian and happens to be funny as hell. Marianne Moloney, who was once a VP at Universal, and discovered the book Ordinary People also worked on Roxanne, one of my favorite movies, with Steve Martin. She said I had a great name, for whatever that's worth. I hope to find her contact info and will remind her of my great name.
We met readers for studios like Dreamworks and Amblin, who spend all day reading books to recommend, or not, to their bosses. They talked about what they look for. One turned down Fifty Shades of Grey and stands by that decision.
The whole weekend was absolutely fascinating and I got on the plane Saturday night with a thirty-seven pound head full of info and full of myself because hey, I frickin pitched to Hollywood!

Here's my log line:
The Dream Jumper's Promise is about a guy who can slip into other people's dreams and uses that to solve a crime.

Here's some of what I learned this weekend in a nutshell (a pistachio, not a walnut):

-Hollywood likes books better than concepts because novels are finished, complete, characters are fleshed out. Authors are pre-approved.
-Sometimes not having a huge contract with a big 5 agency will be appealing because the rights to your book are more readily available and cheaper.
-Be prepared for changes to your book. The screenwriter might completely change everything but make sure you get credit: Based on the Novel The Dream Jumper's Promise
-Managers can work harder for a client than an agent if you're with a BIG agency
-Unsolicited material isn't as welcome as if your agent sends it (or your entertainment attorney!)
-Learn how to write a treatment, do not leave out the ending in all its beauty
-Scouts in New York meet regularly with agents trying to find books that will adapt to movie well
-Ask your agent to get on the Friday list to producers--Notable Books of the Week
-Get an agent! Imperative to lend credibility to your project.
-Find the one thing unique to your book and lead with that in your pitch
-Don't try to tackle screenwriting to sell your novel, There are experts for this.
-If a producer options your book (ties it up while trying to get a studio on board) be patient
-When you pitch, tell it like a campfire story with lots of vocal inflections.
-No more than 5 characters in pitch
-Only pitch action, no dialogue
-Thrillers are popular, especially with a female protag
-In the pitch, include the hard decisions that turn the plot
-To get these people's attention, you need something unique and you need to be aggressive. Not obnoxious, Ron said, but aggressive.
-Short Stories sometimes rise to the top of the pile for TV ideas
-If a producer options your book it may take a year or two to get the studio, director, screenwriter on board. You must be patient.

Good Luck. Somebody's going to get a movie made from their book.
It might as well be us, right!?

Kim Hornsby is an Amazon Bestselling Author who's shared the top five list with J.D. Robb, Stephen King and Dean Koontz in Amazon's Suspense Lists. She's an Award-Winning Mystery/Thriller writer who combines Danger, Adventure and often Ghosts.
Find Kim's many books on her author site at Amazon,

Who's Off the Wedding List on The Bachelor Finale?

Ben is Engaged! To Lauren B. but it was touch and go there for an hour as Ben Higgins declared his love for two women! Yes two!!! Jo Jo and Lauren were both equally in love and guardedly sure that they might end up as Ben's fiancee because for the first time in Bachelor history, The Bachelor told women that he loved them. And that he was in love with them!

If you watched this finale you might have agreed with me at this point that saying those words is not a great idea if you are going to utter it to both remaining women. It's just plain unfair to that one lady who will be going home in tears after planning what to name the first baby.
Note to future Bachelors: Do not say the love word before the proposal. Do not. Bad idea. Even if you do love everyone. It's going to be taken the wrong way as a major hint that that girl is the ONE.

Last night's show revealed two nervous ladies, Ben in a state of turmoil over who to choose, and Neil Lane with a big confused smile. It seemed like our Bachelor was still wondering who to spend the rest of his life with until C.H. gave him a helpful hint. "Who can't you live without?"

Both ladies met Ben's parents, made great impressions, and went back to their Jamaican hotel rooms hoping to call Amy Higgins Mom, and Dave Higgins Dad in another few months.
I have to mention here that I knew without a doubt who Ben picked and having that secret info ruined the whole season for me. It's not fun to know the "winner." At all. There is no tension, game, interest in the other girls when you have the final answer.
That said, we watched both ladies dress in their finest for proposal day and then get helicoptered over to Ben and the proposal station set up by those amazing set decorators on another part of the island. At this point in the show I was shouting at Ben that he shouldn't have let Jo Jo get all dressed up. He should have done one of those hotel room let down things, especially considering all he and Jo Jo had been through and the fact that they were self-professed best friends and all. Sheesh!
But no, he let her get into her proposal outfit and nervously shake her way down a slippery stream path to find out that she wasn't the love of his life. Harsh!
Moving on...Lauren looked darling and was overjoyed to hear that she is the love of his life. Lauren B. is his person and he is hers. I wouldn't say it was the sweetest proposal in Bach history but it was nice. They looked very happy and that made me happy, even though I did not have any wine last night to help my happiness along.
After the Final Rose came next with Ben wearing a checkered suit, print tie and checked shirt. Is this the new style because he looked like a traveling roadshow barker to me? He spoke eloquently but was flustered when Jo Jo came out to say hello and tell him she's moved on. Which is good because Ben has too. With his fiancee.

It probably helped Jo Jo move on this week when The Bachelor producers switched gears and dropped Caila as the new Bachelorette in favor of Jo Jo. According to spies, they'd even shot some test footage of Caila only to decide the public wasn't thrilled with her. So, Jo Jo and her hair fiddling will be back in another four months to find herself a true love on TV. I like Jo Jo but really, really hope that hair fixing thing she does constantly gets toned down ALOT! It's annoying.
And to that critic who wrote that Caila is as interesting as a drawer full of sand, remember that The Bachelor director and editor only show us what they want us to see and she might be a real bitch or have a wild personality. Regardless, Caila was gracious on social media this morning wishing the happy couple congratulations and wishing Jo Jo a great run at the Bachelorette. Come to think of it, she might not have made great TV if she's polite and sweet. And gracious.
C.H. tried half-heartedly, to get Ben and Lauren to get hitched on camera last night, having flown in Ben's friend and pastor but no, they want friends at their wedding, Ben said. Anyone else feel like we aren't his idea of wedding guest material? I was a little insulted as a faithful standing member of Bachelor Nation who hadn't even had any wine. Looks like we are off the wedding list People.

The closing credits rolled while the Higgins family and the Bushnell family hugged it out and blended and smiled while the happy couple mingled amongst them.
I give this Bach couple a 98% chance of making it to the alter and only hold back 2% for crazy uncalled for happenings like flood or famine.
A happy ending is always great on The Bachelor, don't you agree?

The Chicken Tells All on The Bachelor!

Sheila, the little chicken from Redmond, Washington, sat quietly during The Women Tell All on The Bachelor last night, until she couldn't take it any longer. Chickens can sense liars and when she flew off owner and Bachelor contestant, Tiara Soleim's lap, it kind of said it all.
Sheila's "I'm outta here" flying escape during Olivia saying "I'm a strong, independent woman," one more time, was actually what I wanted to do at that point.
I'm pretty sure if Sheila could talk, she'd have told Olivia, "Be sure to add aggressive, competitive and insensitive, because most of these women who have left good jobs and the safety of the real world to be on this scary and possibly life-changing reality show, have the same strength and independence as you."
The best behaved chicken in Hollywood took to the ABC studio skies to hop to Lace's lap, then continued to the floor on her way to the door, the airport and ultimately the plane that brought her to Los Angeles. (Side note: Tiara flew to L.A. with Sheila who could not go under the seat in front of her and actually had to ride in cargo in the dark! What a trooper!)
Tiara then convinced her little pet to come back to her lap and listen some more to the girls' venting about what went down in the house.

Here's the thing (and Sheila knows this, I'm sure). Women love to talk, we need to vent, we have big emotions that make us say crazy things sometimes and then we make up. Sometimes we say stuff we don't REALLY mean. Not really. Especially three months later.

Like Jubilee. I love Jubilee. Love. She might have said she was the only full-black woman in the house and that might be an offensive comment to people who are half black, I don't know, but give the girl a break. She's done 4 frickin' tours of duty in the military. If she bragged about being all black and minimized your blackness, can you not just let it go? If someone said to Jaime that they were half Canadian and she said she was full Canadian, would we be talking about this?

Maybe Jubilee was hard to get along with if you lived in the house but let's move on, Ladies. You are not going to get sympathy when you speak against a woman whose family all died in Haiti, who serves in the military and cries on camera. Complicated is fine. Many people are.
And Amy Schumer went on a rant today (#InternationalWomensDay) to lambaste Chris Harrison who tried to help Jubilee be less complicated, saying that Jubilee doesn't need a romance to be an amazing woman. Amy said complicated is not a bad thing. I wonder if she was too hasty to jump on that cause.
I don't think Chris tried to say complicated won't get you a man, necessarily, but Jubilee indicated that she'd like to love openly and maybe wasn't the best personality type for this type of show where everyone competes to date the same person. Chris Harrison was trying to handle her tears in his usual bumbling, love counselor style. It wasn't a terrible thing, Amy, and I should know. I love to call out C.H.
Last night the twins were a little too verbal, Amanda had a throat problem and couldn't really speak, Lauren H said nothing, Caila looked like she'd been crying before the show, Lace redeemed herself with a gorgeous apology and Olivia still looked aggressive and bossy. (She needs one of those Hollywood coaches who tell you how to dig yourself out of bad PR.)

I actually loved this Women Tell All so much more than most but maybe that is because I know Tiara and have held that little chicken in my hands and both 'ladies' are as sweet and lovely as you'd ever want to know. I'm just hoping that Tiara and Sheila get to go to Bachelor In Paradise in a few months and we can see Sheila in her poultry bikini!
What do you think.

#SheilaforBachelorInParadise
#ChickenTellsAll

The Bachelor Breaks the Cardinal Rule!!!!

Jamaica Mon, on The Bachelor!

Ben has three women left at this point and all three women are in love with the hunky software salesman from Indiana. Or they think they are. It's my opinion that at this point they have a form of Stockholm Syndrome and are in love with the only man they've seen for months, a man who is made out to be the next James Bond and their feelings in this captivity have led them to believe they love Ben. It's clever how the producers limit their time with the Bachelor and control the women's experiances. That's why the Fantasy Suite dates are essential. They actually get to spend uninterrupted hours to find out who this guy really is. Forget the bed. The women don't have cameras in their faces, directors telling them where to stand, producers prompting them for dirt on another girl.

The first date last night was Caila and Ben's float on a raft down a river to the Jerky Center where they ate barbeque and drank from coconuts. Caila was worried and quiet and not herself and Ben sensed it. Conversation was stilted.
Later, at the dinner table, she confessed her worry about the other relationships. He basically told her to trust him so she did, and bravely revealed that she loved him. Fireworks went crazy in the background as they stood in thigh deep (probably cold) water to pose and kiss. They woke up the next morning and blissfully kissed, drank coffee, and smiled a lot, like lovers do.

Lauren's date with Ben involved releasing newborn sea turtles to the ocean, an activity I missed doing by one day recently in Nicaragua. (There were no new hatches the day I was at the turtle beach.) Lauren and Ben had loads of one day old Hawksbills to watch as they hobbled to the sea instinctively. Who wasn't moved to almost tears to see these babies head to what will probably be their early demise in the ocean. Not many make it. Not like in Finding Nemo.
That night, Lauren and Ben found a reggae band on the street and sat at the Bachelor dinner vignette to read the Fantasy Suite card. Lauren told Ben that he's the man of her dreams and also revealed that she loved him. For the first time in Bachelor history the Bachelor said it back and I almost fell off my chair and spilled my two buck Chuck. Are they allowed to say that? He did! These two seemed very much in love and I pretty much had this contest all sewn up at this point but wait...

The next day with Jo Jo went swimmingly. She wears skimpy, sexy clothes, have you noticed? Her bikini at YS Falls was strange and highlighted her assets. She and Ben swam and talked and kissed and when she revealed she loved him, Ben said he loved her too. Jo Jo's mouth feel open. WHAT? She took this to mean that she is the ONE, I was pretty sure, and fell the rest of the way in love with Ben. Isn't this the Bachelor Cardinal Rule #1? Do not say those love words until your propose to that one girl at the very end??? Whether the show's psychologist warned Ben or not, we'll never know.

The Fantasy Suite card presented itself at dinner and off they went to the Romeo and Juliet room for privacy. In the morning, they fed each other fruit, declared their love for each other and off Ben went to ponder what to do after telling two women that he loves them. He forgot to tell Caila that he loves her! But wait. He doesn't exactly.
When Caila decided to surprise him with a visit to his guest house on the other side of the island, he sat her down on the cold hard stairs outside his suite and delivered the cold, hard truth. She had to leave. She started to, then got out of the car to ask him when he knew he wasn't in love with her. Good move, Caila! She got a satisfactory answer and cried all the way to the airport.
At the rose ceremony sisterwives Lauren and Jo Jo wondered where Caila got to until Ben arrived to say he'd sent her home. They toasted awkwardly, group hugged awkwardly, and tried to smile even though all three of them knew that one of them would be crying their eyes out in the next few days. Well, maybe two of them. Ben is a soft-hearted guy.

The Women Tell All was filmed Saturday night in Los Angeles and the Chicken Enthusiast was invited to attend--and Sheila, the little chicken who she loves. Sheila had to fly cargo, unlike a tiny dog who can go under the seat in front but the little chicken handled her trip to Hollywood like a trooper. Tiara, the chicken enthusiast had never been more proud of a chicken in her life. Sheila was held by Chris Harrison and Elan Gale for selfies, got on-camera time and even squawked at an appropriate moment during the taping. We aren't sure if Tiara will get edited out but the fact that they invited someone who was let go the first night, was an exciting honor for our girl from Washington State.
Tune in Monday to see if Sheila the chicken gets air time, if they cut away to Tiara's mid-riff showing outfit or if they call out Leah for lying about throwing Lauren B under the bus!