Jo Jo Closes Up Like a Clam at Low Tide!

Last night's Bachelorette began with the airport hangar rose ceremony, the jet supposedly idling while Jo Jo picked which three men would accompany her to the next destination.

Luke, Robby, Chase and Jordan stood nervously waiting. Then Luke asked to speak to Jo Jo, declaring his feelings (which we were pretty sure he already did!!!) but his words didn't sway the lovely brunette/blonde. Luke walked off in a fog of confusion and heartbreak.


Thailand was the next stop on their itinerary and the first date was with Robby who appeared to be a front runner. It's my opinion that declaring your undying devotion very early  to Jo Jo carried a lot of weight with her. The twosome wandered a market in the seaside town of Hua Hin, then got caught in a thunder storm where they ducked inside for foot massages. What's Robby do for work? Anyways, Jo Jo is smitten with the hunky swimmer so I steeled myself for an imminent engagement to the poof-ball haired contender. At dinner, they were given a date card and key to the fantasy suite and were off to privacy without the cameras in your face 24/7.
That's the real excitement for these couples, not the prospect of getting naked.
Jordan's date was next and Jo Jo switched gears well. I was hoping there was at least one day between leaving Robby in a mass of tangled sheets and kissing Jordan on a Thai beach. Jor Jo sweated their way uphill to a viewpoint where Jordan hoped that he and Jo were writing their love story and Jo Jo wondered if this guy was too good to be true. After washing off all the sweat of the day (it's 105 degrees in Thailand with 100% humidity) dinner in a candlelit outdoor setting had Jo Jo grilling Jordan on what the next year would look like for them.
The quarterback was dodgy but said that whatever happened, they'd do it together. Is he still playing football? Off JorJo went to the fantasy suite where Jo Jo lay across a bed and Jordan closed the door on the cameras.
Chase drove up on a scooter and Jo Jo took him on a ponga ride until they landed on a private beach. More sweat fell until they got in the water and made out. Chase is big and strong. He can lift Jo Jo easily. At times Chase looks like he could model for Romance novel book covers. Between the beach portion of the date and dinner, while Jo Jo was back at her hotel room, Robby visited Jo Jo there while Chase played with sand outside Jo Jo's window. Or was this another day? The timeline didn't add up because at dinner with Chase, Jo Jo had hair down and wore a different dress.???
Chase was playful and forthcoming and Jo Jo began to close like a clam that senses low tide. When they got to the fantasy suite and Chase declared his depth of feeling, Jo Jo's face fell and she cut the young hunk loose. I was glad to see him react honestly when he said that as soon as he declared his love she said "Get the F___ out." Chase lashed out. Why did Jo Jo let things get so far? Don't take the guy to the fantasy suite, Girlfriend!
Chase was raw and real in the vehicle as he drove away from the fantasy suite (which looked more like a condo on the Jersey shore.)
At the sweatfest of a rose ceremony, Chris Harrison, who asked Jo Jo "how you doin'" twice!!!! greeted the two men and Jo Jo. By the time Jo Jo got in front of the men to explain that she had to let Chase go, Jordan's shirt was dripping sweat and Robby's armpits were drenched. In a surprising move to shock Bachelor Nation, Chase showed up to apologize for his anger and as he walked away, a (probably female) monkey who appreciates the strong silent type followed him.
Jo Jo toasted the two men remaining, suggesting she's in love with both, making Jordan look understandably uncomfortable. She suggests a group hug, didn't get it and a monkey scratched his ear with his foot on a rooftop behind them.

Tonight is The Men Tell All, with Bad Chad looking like he's going to beat up everyone after the show and next week is the finale with Jo Jo introducing both men to her family, crying a lot and not knowing who to choose. I'm not looking forward to all the crying. Just saying.

Kim Hornsby is a Bestselling Author of Suspense and Romance who lives in the Seattle area near a former Bachelor and personally knows a Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise alumni. Her opinions are her own and not those of the dogs lying at her feet begging for treats.
Find her books on AMAZON, including The Husband Hunt, a novella strangely similar to a season of The Bachelor.

Hometowns Reveal One Favorite on The Bachelor

Monday's episode of The Bachelor began in Colorado where deer run free and snow is plentiful. This week was hometown dates and Jo Jo was in town to see Chase and meet his family.

After a talk on a rock, they went to his house, that he owns (I'm assuming) and talked about Chase's divorced parents and once estranged father. Ding dong. It's Dad at the door!
Hard feelings seem to have been buried and Chase admitted to his father, "I'm diving in to this one, Dad," which made me fear for the reserved hunk. At the mom's house, everyone gathered, including a baby with a mustache pacifier and Chase's mom, who is hip and cool!
When the familial evening is over and we officially like Chase immensely, she and Chase kiss at the black SUV and she's off into the darkness to meet the other four families.

Next is Chico, CA, Playboy Magazine's pick for best Party college, years ago, and we're off to Jordan's home. In matching outfits he and Jo Jo go to the high school to meet the football coaches who have a pinup board of both Rogers boys all over their walls. Turns out, Aaron Rogers is a big quarterback in football and doesn't speak to Jordan, maybe even the whole family, and won't show for the family visit. I"m not a huge NFL fan but recognize the bro from the Green Bay Packers. Good riddance if he doesn't talk to anyone. The Rogers live in a gorgeous Victorian home and both parents seem lovely. Luke, the other brother, brings his G/F who seems nice. The visit is wonderful even though they pan in on the two empty seats at one end of the table like Aaron should have been there. Sappy.

Next is Florida. Robby. He and Jo Jo walk around, talking. When they get to the family home, the dad is a coach of some sort, and the mom, who's birthed five kids, is a rock. She talks about Holly, the ex-GF whose roommate (are you following me here?) has granted an interview to say that Robby broke up with Holly to go on the Bachelor. There's talk in the town about Robby's intentions but not his hair. Interesting.

In Texas, Luke the cool cowboy takes Jo Jo to a community barbecue at the family ranch. Luke has 50 friends whooping it up on the Texan ranch, while he takes Jo Jo riding to a field where he's set up a heart-shaped group of roses to pledge his feelings for her. What is more romantic than that, as Rascal Flatts sings in the background?   Nada.
At the rose ceremony, in a cobalt mermaid dress, Jo Jo indicates Luke is going home. Inside a jet hangar, Luke asks to speak privately to Jo Jo, tells her his feelings and she breaks down on the runway, no knowing what to do. Let Robby go!!!!!!!!! Luke is the front runner. Right????
To Be Continued...

Running Naked on THE BACHELORETTE

Tonight's episode of THE BACHELOR began Enniskillen, Ireland with Shawn and Nick having it out in Nick's cottage/hotel room.

Nick says Shawn revealed he's Eskimo brothers with a famous country singer, having had sex with the same girl. This is the second time Nick has accused Shawn of saying this. In the urban dictionary, Eskimo brothers is just that--sharing the same girl sexually. Who knew?

The show moves to Galway, Ireland the next day where Kaitlyn has a date with Ben. Kaitlyn loves the energy between them. I do too.

They mount huge horses and meander through a deep green pasture on these behemoths to feed a bunch of adorable but persistent donkeys. The donkey's, according to Ben, have "sick haircuts". I think the urban dictionary would say that's a compliment.
After a romantic picnic by a castle overlooking a lake they kiss, talk and end up inside the castle for dinner. In front of the fire, the overnight date card appears from behind a pile of cushions and Ben is as polite as he can be on National TV when presented with the prospect of sleeping with a girl who insultingly thinks he might be a virgin. "Best sleepover ever!" Ben says.
The next morning, outside their window, a sheep gives birth symbolically and Ben heads off to his cottage after only a half hour of shut eye.

At the Lough Erne Resort, Shawn has the next date and is given a present from Kaitlyn which happens to be a shocking pink golf shirt.

They are going golfing and Shawn must be humiliated! Oh joy. Apparently golfing is a fun thing and they have a wonderful day golfing which ends in Shawn having to take off his clothes to run naked to the next green. Why must Kaitlyn try to humiliate him first with colorful clothes, then no clothes? But Shawn won't be deterred! He calls her kiddo and tells her he's proud of how well she did. Maybe she's getting back at him for talking down to her.

That night they dine at a huge mansion/castle where Kaitlyn asks about the hatred between Nick and him, ruining the date and the moment. Nice touch Kaitlyn. Shawn's feelings about Nick are very intense so Kaitlyn pulls out the fantasy suite card and they head upstairs to have a private conversation. She shuts the door on us, pretty quick.
The next morning, Shawn leaves her hotel room, pulls up his hood and creeps back to his silo cottage stealthily. But no.

 Nick is lurking in his khaki's, waiting for him to 'talk'. Shawn lets him in to his room and then talks overtop of Nick and eventually tells him to leave. Nick says, "Are you threatening me?" Ah, no dude. That's not a threat. It's telling you to go. I'm tired of this pissing match.
That night is the Rose Ceremony. Chris Harrison arrives  and questions Kaitlyn about the three remaining men.


The situation is reminiscent of when Kaitlyn was in the last three with Chris Soules. She has a mini meltdown and talks to Chris H. in the hall who supports her decision. Ben is eliminated, making me yell at the TV, "The next Bachelor!"
Ben leaves with the dignity that Jared had. Such a gentleman! "I'll miss her a lot," he says, thereby revealing that he wasn't so deep in with his Kaitlyn feelings that he can't fall in love with someone in four months, as the next Bachelor. They begin taping in September.
While Kaitlyn says Bye Bye to Ben in the driveway, Shawn and Nick guzzle champagne in the elimination room and things are super AWKWARD!

Off to Utah! Why Utah? Did I miss something? Suddenly we are in Deer Valley, Utah, and if I'm not mistaken this is not hometowns, this is meet the families in a condo. Maybe they couldn't afford to fly the Viall clan anywhere because there are a lot of them. They drove in a bus, not unlike the Partridge Family tour bus. It could happen.
I remember from Andi's season how much I like Nick's mother, and not just because she has the Robin Wright haircut from House of Cards. She makes Nick seem less smarmy. Less juvenile. He actually has a mother who loves him! His large family are seated on a sectional. Nick's 12 year old sister, who we fell in love with last go around, questions Kaitlyn and adds a few points for Nick.
Nick has mentioned to Kaitlyn that last time with Andi, he needed a leap of faith to get ready to propose to her, but there will be no leap with her. That's actually pretty sweet. Hope it's true even though his body language, according to the FBI course on body language I took, screamed LIAR! Look her in the eyes DUDE!

On Shawn's family visit, the mom couldn't come but his aunt is there with the two sisters and father and strangely, Kaitlyn actually looks like one of the sisters. They love Kaitlyn but the dad wants to know more about Shawn's feelings and how he got so emotional so fast. Up until now, Shawn hasn't told Kaitlyn that he loves her. After meeting the family and going back to her ugly condo (everything looks ugly after Ireland!), Shawn says those three words. Actually five. "I love you, Kaitlyn Bristowe."
And back in her suite, Kaitlyn is a mental mess because a) she had her mind made up to pick Nick and she's sad that Shawn has fallen so hard or b) she had her mind made up to pick Nick and now Shawn is back in the game.

Last Saturday they taped Men Tell All in Los Angeles and that's what we'll be watching next Monday. According to Mike Fleiss, the creator of this show, the men tell ALL! I can't wait to see the Bromance Brothers Clint and JJ!
In other Bachelor news, the Finals weekend is in early August in an undisclosed hotel in Los Angeles. This is where the producers interview the women in the final stage before getting chosen. They've been told to remain available from September through October in case they get chosen. It's here they are interviewed by a PI, the show's psychologist and have a blood test for STD's. They have an on camera interview and do a lot of sitting around in a private hotel room while waiting to be called on. They've been told bring something to do in the hotel room that day.
AND, Bachelor in Paradise, the abomination we love to watch, begins Aug 2nd, thereby locking down Monday nights in August for me and my hubby.

Kim Hornsby is a National Bestselling Author of Suspenseful novels with Romantic elements. She won the Chanticleer Best Mystery/Thriller Paranormal and was nominated for Best Indie First Book by Indie Romance Convention with The Dream Jumper's Promise.