Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Juan Pablo is Sucked Into the Vortex!

Spoiler Alert!

Juan Pablo cannot be that stupid. He just can't. Everything we've seen so far tells us he puts Camila's interests first, before his own, going so far as to fix her wedgie on national TV. (I won't tell you what my GF said to me about J.P. fixing her wedgie anytime).
Last night on The Bachelor, the Pabs fell for womanly tricks, twice! And we saw him sinking deep into that hole of "I'm thinking with my libido, not my head".
At the beginning of last night's episode, everyone flew to South Korea but of course, the Bachelor does not get to do this 14 hour flight with the women. He flies separately and although you may think this is because it takes the group of women a full day to pack up their seventeen suitcases each  and he can't be bothered waiting,I believe it's because he goes early to scout out date locations. Ever wonder how he knows where to go and what to do in foreign countries?
There were two group dates this week so if I jumble the dates, it's because it was confusing.

With Gangum Style being so incredibly popular in the U.S. (even pistachio commercials?), Juan Pablo had the first group date head on over to a TV station to learn a dance with K-Pop's biggest Korean stars -2NE1. This is actually pronounced 21. Apparently these four ladies who sing and dance are huge stars in Korea, enough to fill an enormous mall to about 47 people. What? The girls danced in K-Pop outfits, arrived in a limo and got their K-Pop Star on. Personalities were revealed as Nurse Nikky became the most whiney contestant in the history of The Bachelor and Kat became the most dancey person in the history of The Bachelor.
Yes, Kat can dance but then so can Cassandra (she was a cheerleader!).
 And Nikky, just shut up. It was too much, hearing how traumatic it would be to go on the stage to dance.
At the end of the party, though, Nikky got the rose probably for pretending to be shy, and in need of floral approval. After listening to her whine all day about not wanting to dance in front of a crowd and how she doesn't fit in with the group of girls because she doesn't have sisters, this made us mad. And made Kat fake a happy smile.

The one on one date saw Pabby with Sharleen, who pretending to not want to sing for him because-- WHY? She doesn't usually sing for her men this early in the relationship. WHAT? Maybe she was afraid that if he heard her amazing voice he'd fall in love with that, not her wonderful personality? News alert: Her personality is a bit lacking. And I'm being polite here because she's Canadian. And so am I.
My hubby pointed out it isn't like she's a rock star or stripper, men don't usually go for opera singers. And then she says she doesn't like kids! Or something like that. She doesn't want kids. What we know for sure (by her strangeness) is that Sharleen is terrified of looking like the other girls. She went on to tell the Latin Daddy that she dated a man with a four year old daughter and couldn't get past the fact he'd already had his first child with someone else. Excuse me J.P.! YOU HAVE A FIVE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER! Hello? Does this sound familiar?
Pabby gave her a rose for being so honest, which is the same as saying "I'm like a moth to your raging bonfire."
In order to justify this rose, I had to tell myself that she must've said something off camera like "I am ready for motherhood now, even though I wasn't back then," or "You make me want to have those three kids you are planning on." Otherwise how didn't J.P. see that she is all wrong for him? Maybe men do like Opera Singers. AND, Sharleen is the most awkward flirter I've ever seen. She just plain can't flirt properly. (Watch Andi for some great flirting!) Juan Pablo, listen to me. She is not on THE BACHELOR because she feels she's ready for a commitment and kids. She's promoting her business, http://sharleenjoynt.com/
The next group date involved Renee, Andi, Clare, and others who faded into the background. Oh, and Lauren the pianist. They sang karaoke, drove Swan boats, and had fish eat their dead-skinned feet. Finally Renee got some airtime!
 Clare has now claimed the Pabs for herself and looked silly with all her hanging off him and squeezing herself into other girls' spaces to guard her man. When they got all dressed up for a fun evening, Juan gave the rose to Andi, who is a front runner in my opinion. As a lawyer, she knows enough to not talk stink in front of the camera. Unlike Nikki, Clare and Elyse. Oh and Lauren drank too much, went in for the kiss and he refused her. Apparently now Juan is only going to kiss girls he's absolutely unable to avoid kissing (because of his terrible willpower), like Clare.
And what's up with Kelly, the dog lover? We never get to see if she has any sort of relationship with Juany. I have a theory that she's his friend in the real world, planted to help him see what's going on backstage. Why else would they allow a girl to bring her dog on The Bachelor? Ever seen them hug? Like siblings. And he gave her the rose when they dressed like dogs, that day. Hmmmm? Best line of the night was a diss on Clare who squabbled about the tiny piece of octopus she put in her mouth. Kelly said to the camera: "I know you've swallowed bigger things than that."
The cocktail party and rose ceremony was strange and not just because it was outside where the temps made everyone shiver but because even though the girls with roses made a pact to not hog J.P. so others could get time with him, Nicky still took him from Clare and the fight began. Meow! Nikki might be able to diaper a baby like a champ but she's not able to look Juan in the eyes.
Lauren went home for various reasons, one being the crying at the group date, begging to be kissed and not having a good enough rapport with JP, Elise also was sent packing and I'm sure if she's watching the show, she knows enough now to never trash talk the baby (Chelsea) again.

What did we learn from tonight's episode? Men are easily led down that slippery slope to lust by the girls who best know how to work it.
Next week looks good with J.P. and Clare taking something too far and regretting it. Muuuhaaaaa.

Kim Hornsby is an Amazon Bestselling Author. THE HUSBAND HUNT series on Amazon books, is modeled after THE BACHELOR.

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