Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Juan Pablo- Is He FAIR or TWO FACED?

Hot Waterfalls, Hot Kissing, and Hobbit Land!

How cool is it that you can go to the set where they filmed The Hobbit and eat dinner inside a Hobbit House? Well, maybe you and I can't do it because we are the public, but the gang on The Bachelor can, and DID. Last night! In New Zealand! They actually had a cocktail party in Frodo's house or something similar, at Hobbiton, and that made my husband want to go to New Zealand right then and there.

But first, Andi's date. After loads of group dates, Andi, the prosecutor from Florida, got the one on one last night and promptly took to ironing her plaid shirt for a romantic moment with J.P. First they took off on a high speed boat ride up a river, then took a trek in swim suits through cold water, squeezing through tight boulder openings, and finally arrived at that waterfall we've seen in the promos. I'm sure those two were thanking their lucky stars that the water was fed by a hot spring, because it looked very cold in New Zealand last night. There was loads of kissing under the waterfall, then the two enjoyed a delicious dinner date by a geyser. But wait. The geyser blew and ruined dinner, so the two lovebirds ended up talking on a bridge in wet clothes. Where's the hot tub when you need one? Or a warm ocean? Andi got the rose but I think she might be too smart and career oriented for Juan Pablo.
Next was the group date, and the best part of this was that Clare and Juanny did not have to pretend that the other ladies weren't present on their lovefest because, mercifully, he did not ask Clare on the group date. More later on that one.
It was Cassandra's birthday! Getting a rose would be like a fairytale present, she said, but after they rolled down a steep hill like hamsters in a see-through ball and settled at the Hobbit House for drinks, Juan Pablo promptly took Cassandra aside and sent her home. Happy Birthday! He told her that he didn't want her to wait another 2 days for the rose ceremony. Hey, they are all going home soon anyhow. All but one, so why not sooner rather than later? And now the mommy from Detroit gets to see Trey, her little son who she missed so much.

The next one on one was with... Clare! Surprise! And that date included lots of Clare's signature brand of flirting which is loads of hair tossing, pouty mouth posturing, and head tilting while doing the first two. Also, she's learned that it's good to play hurt and weak around Juan because he really loves coming to this woman's rescue. Apparently Juan Pablo has not even held a woman's hand in the presence of his daughter, let alone have a date sleep overnight while Camila was at his place. God forbid. You could see Clare's face fall when she realized that his child is going to be a HUGE part of this relationship, and there might not be much kissing in a warm ocean, doing nothing inappropriate.
So now, I'm thinking that J.P.'s idea of appropriate is weirdly twisted and maybe those two did not do the nasty deed in Vietnam. But, why did Clare toast to "Making Love" last week, with that canary-eating grin on her face? Jury is still out. But Clare, beware. This is a man who will be a willing participant and make you feel terrible for sucking him in later.
Roses were given to Andi, Clare and Sharleen, who is considering blowing the Venezuelan hunk's Pop Stand next week if she's still a brown bear in a room of pandas. Tough talk from a kisser who leads with her tongue.
With Cassandra gone, only one gal needed to leave after the cocktail party, and that gal was Kat, the dancer who talked about crawling in the crib with her sister while her drunk father slept it off and didn't hear the baby's cries. Oh God. How sad is that? But it wasn't sad enough to make J.P. keep her and after Renee and Nikki and Chelsea got roses, there wasn't one left for Kat. We are still loving Renee over here but wonder if she isn't too mature for Juanny.
Next week they go to Miami so at least Kat didn't miss out on another exotic location. At this point, Juan Pablo needs to call a halt to all the kissing and try to develop some relationships that might include a 5 year old girl because playing tongue tag with Clare and Sharleen, who don't seem like the Mommy type is straying from the end goal.
In soccer talk, stop passing the ball to players who aren't near the net. Give it to the girl standing in front of the net with her foot ready.
Until next week...

Kim Hornsby is the author of THE HUSBAND HUNT, a short story series based on The Bachelor and for sale on Amazon Books. The first short story Jaxie's Mistake is free in all online book stores. http://amzn.com/B00BN1YNS0

She's also the Bestselling Author of The Dream Jumper's Promise, available also on Amazon.

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