The Bachelor - Hometowns,Fantasy Suites and Cross Examinations

Two nights of The Bachelor this week had us chomping at the bit to see what's going to happen in Juan Pablo Ville. Now J.P. himself has leaked The Bachelor winner to the press and has completely spoiled the ending for us. Chocking it up to a language problem is no longer acceptable. Oh how can I defend you after this Juanny? I'm not sure I can.

I won't tell you how this ends, just in case you want to follow this through until the end but let me just say that The Bachelor staff must be supremely disappointed with Juan Pablo Galavis' big mouth this season. It hasn't even made for great T.V.

Let's recap what we've seen on T.V. this week:

Hometowns had J.P. visiting Clare, Andi, Renee and Nikki. No one's family was completely enamored with the Bachelor. Nikki's parents were fair and accepting, saying that they trust their daughter's judgment. Andi's dad was openly unaccepting, Clare's family visit was downright strange and full of drama (did you expect less?), and Renee's family visit was full of a loving mother seeing her son again after weeks away.
Clare did a lot of posturing, pouting, dirty looks, Andi did a lot of smiling into his face, Nikki did a lot of wondering whether to tell him she loved him and Renee was just so happy to see Ben that it overshadowed everything. Unfortunately, the most down to earth woman on the show was sent packing, probably because J.P. saw that he shouldn't continue to date her when she has a son waiting for her at home and he has no intention of choosing her at the end. Consider yourself lucky Renee. She was allowed to cut the ties to the Latin charmer and get back to her child and the real world. I saw on twitter that Renee and a business partner are looking at bringing that big rolly ball fun in New Zealand to the L.A. area.
The more we see of J.P. the more we realize that he might not want to settle down at all.

Next, St. Lucia:

Tuesday's show was all about the three "overnight dates" Juan Pablo kept calling them. Excuse me, but that's supposed to be a secret in the form of a card opened at the end of the dinner and it's not a given that the girls will choose to stay with you all night in a bedroom. In his defense, the Bachelor did say repeatedly that it would be a chance to be with his date without cameras, alone, talk all night, wake up together.

First was Clare's date on a gorgeous yacht, motoring around St. Lucia, swimming, more hair flipping, pouting, sister bashing, and kissing.
Remembering how J.P. willingly "swam" with her in Vietnam, then threw her to the lions afterwards, Clare was coy about accepting the date card's offer to spend the night with the man she now loves. But in the end, and after determining that he just wanted to talk all night, she accepted the offer and off they went to be alone with the cameras and crew. The T.V. audience was treated to more pouting, kissing, hair flipping, kissing, hot tubbing, kissing, then thankfully, we were sent to commercial. The more I see of these two, the more I think they might be well suited.
Next was Andi's date and they seemed to have a fabulous time. Lots of laughing, kissing, fun.
She willingly headed off to the fantasy suite before dinner was even consumed it seemed, where she woke up the next morning hating on Juan Pablo. If all he did was talk about himself all night and name drop and not ask her what makes Andi tick, why the vicious attack on his personality on national T.V.? Andi was too angry for someone who simply saw a selfish side to the man she was falling in love with. As her rant went on and on, I liked Andi less and less.
First, Nikki's date.
Nurse Nikki showed up in a barely-there bikini top and long skirt, making J.P.'s jaw drop and his choice of bouncing around on horses the perfect date for him and Nikki.
Why the saddle cam, people? Just sayin'. It added nothing. A picnic on the beach had Nikki tell Juan Pablo that she loved him and the kissing began. Later at dinner, J.P. couldn't wait to get to the overnight part of the date and pulled out the date card as soon as Nikki sat down. Off they went.
Next we were treated to watching Andi walk up a St. Lucian hill several times on her way to break up with Juan Pablo. Let me just sum up this painfully long argument by saying that J.P. handled himself well during the cross examination of the lawyer who badgered him, hated on him, and exhaustingly tried to get J.P. to admit he's selfish. My hubby and I were practically screaming at the T.V. "Shut up Andi and just go already!" Then she went on and on in the van after she left. If this is Andi when she discovers that the man she almost fell in love with is not truly in love with her as a person, then I pity all her past boyfriends as well as J.P. Oh. My. Goodness. SHE WOULD NOT STOP.
Note to Andi: Please don't speak for all women when it is entirely your personal inability to judge a character well enough to see if a man is right for you or not. To wake up angrier than a badger on a rampage is your problem, not Juan Pablo's.
We may find out that Juan Pablo is a jerk in the weeks to come, (sure looks like it on the Women Tell All) but he handled himself well when being raked over the coals with Andi. It was a relief to move on from her rant.
Back at Juan Pablo's ego, he took the rejection gracefully and composed himself well enough to tell Clare and Nikki that they both had roses if they wanted them. Which they did.
The previews show both ladies crying on their beds, Juan Pablo walking off into the jungle and loads of tears at Women Tell All. I'm not waiting with baited breath for the next two weeks but-
We'll watch, we'll commiserate, we'll say "I told you so".

The Bachelor- Cat Fight in Miami!

The Bachelor headed to Florida last night and the girls found themselves in a penthouse hotel room in Miami, Juan Pablo's hometown. Back in the orange juice state, Juan Pablo's first stop was to see his daughter. It had been three weeks since he'd last seen his little girl and this Bach fan thought it fitting that the Daddy got some Camila hugs and kisses in before his Bachelor duties resumed.

First date last night was a one on one with Sharleen, the angsty opera singer who's not sure Juan Pablo is cerebral enough for her. OH PLEASE! (It might be true but don't say it!) Last night's editing of the show had us screaming for her to just pack her bags, especially after she accepted a date on a private yacht to a private island where it seemed all they did was change kissing positions. Sharleen's awkward social flirting makes her officially the worst pillow talker in the world and Juan Pablo's lack of clarity makes him dense enough to get some sort of award. eg) She was clearly rejecting him and he took it to mean she was being coy.

"I love your smile when you say that," he said, without hearing her words. When the yacht docked and the two kissing fools got back to the hotel, Sharleen went straight for Renee to talk it out and wonder if she should leave the show. Here, Renee, just let me rub your face in the fact that he really likes me and I don't return the favor because he's not smart enough. But he might be smart enough for you. This time Mama Renee advised that Sharleen just leave if she didn't feel the love. Agreed.
The next date saw Nurse Nikki at Camila's dance recital meeting J.P.'s parents and Camila's mom. Awkward (said in a singsongy voice). Nikki held up like a champ, clearly comfortable with people, awkward situations and ex-wives.

Atta go, Nikki. Then, he took her to work - Marlin Park - for a picnic on the baseball field and a game of catch.( Nice try J.P. when you threw that grounder and hoped that Nikki's 'barely there' top would fall open.)
Next Sharleen left the show. But not before she lay around on Juany's couch lamenting about how angsty she was and they whispered a lot about how sad it was. My husband looked at her sullen face and told J.P. "Man, if you married her, you'd be seeing a lot of that face!"
Group Date with Andi, Chelsea, Clare and Renee. Wow those group dates are getting less groupy every week. The fivesome took a float plane to another island where they walked the beach and grabbed one on one time with their collective boyfriend. Andi was weepy, he calmed her, Chelsea read him notes from her parents to show how awesome it will be on hometowns when he goes to meet them, Claire told him about the video her beloved father made before his death, only to be shown to her prospective husband. Renee wasn't featured, but I have to believe there was some J.P./Renee time on that remote setting otherwise it would have been just plain awkward. When the rose was given to Andi and she was assured a hometown date, Clare smiled but it was one of those smiles that means, when I get you alone I'm probably going to kill you. Andi got to stay on the island with Juan Pablo while the other girls flew back to the penthouse, Clare swearing and beeping all over the TV screen.
The happy twosome of J.P. and Andi hit a Latin music club where Romeo Santos was playing and we learned that Andi can't really dance. Or maybe she can, if she hadn't worn a severely tight red bandage dress. Back at the house, Clare was in a bitchy mood looking for trouble, and Nikki tried to avoid her by going upstairs to hide in her curtained off bedroom, but Clare pursued her, just itching for a fight. Nikki held her own, asking Clare to leave and was told because Nikki didn't pay for the room, she had no right to order Clare out of her 'bedroom'. I tried to push Clare threw the curtain and down the stairs but it didn't work because of TV and the stupid fact that I can't reach through, and the scene was actually taped three months ago.

Side note: Many of these girls now tweet back and forth. Clare is not in the mix. Sharleen is.
The last cocktail party had all the girls in various colored bandage dresses. Wait, Andi, the non-conformist, already wore hers on the dancing date so she had a full-skirted blue dress. The tension between Nikki and Clare was thick enough to need a chainsaw to get through and when left alone on the couches for two minutes, both ladies looked off into the distance and were silent. Thank goodness we didn't have to listen to another squabble. Meow!
Juan Pablo arrived and the elimination began. With tears, he cut Chelsea, the science educator who bungee jumped for him weeks ago. I thought it might be Renee, seeing she got so little air time but it looks like she'll get more time on camera next week when J.P. does hometowns. And speaking of hometowns, some parents are definitely not impressed with their daughters' boyfriend! Clare's Mother and Andi's Dad are a tough nuts to crack but the preview said Andi gets to the fantasy suite early? Are they combining hometowns with the fantasy suite dates? What? We'll have to tune in to see!