Thursday, June 4, 2015

Stupid Dates, Pranking and Popping Pimples on THE BACHELORETTE

If you've been waiting for my take on Monday's The Bachelorette, I apologize for not writing a blog until now.  On Monday night, we were at a soccer banquet and got home to find that we didn't tape the show! Catching the last 45 minutes and then trying to loop in the final hour the next day on On Demand, the show lost that momentum and excitement of watching on the night of. But what I saw made me kinda glad I missed the first half.

I watched the last hour, and saw in the final out takes that the men wore sumo diapers, and can assume that the violent Kupah left the show in a puff of rose dust. Here's where I came in:

It looked like the muscular Ben Z. got a one on one date where they headed off to some type of horror house to experience their worst fears before deadly gas would leak into the place presumably to kill them. Kaitlyn is afraid of birds and the first thing they encountered were three scared pigeons who flew out of the dark room at Kaitlyn and Ben. She screamed and clung to her date, just before the ASPCA moved in to take the pigeons for therapy. Then Ben and Kaitlyn moved on to the next room with bloody knives and dismembered bodies and gore. I hate this type of thing, do not go to horror movies and looked away for almost the whole remainder of the "Date". They collected clues along the way to enter into a computer in the last room to open the door and get out of this horror house. Were they trying to initiate feelings of dependence with birds and snakes-- the wildlife fears of the two daters? After developing this interconnected dependence, the two daters cleaned up and had a lovely time with drinks and appetizers and kissing and talking, deciding that they liked each other. Ben Z seems like a good choice even though he screams like a girl over snakes. (My husband does too) He got a rose.

Meanwhile back at the mansion, JJ and Clint were either developing a preposterous plan to prank The Bachelor producers or falling in love. If you watch their interaction, it looks like love, but if you read Clint's twitter account, you can almost see the tongue in his cheek. JJ is definitely his friend on twitter these days. They banter back and forth including each other in tweets. JJ wants his daughter kept out of all this, he says on twitter where his profile picture is him and his 4 year old daughter. Their tweets are flirty, fun, secretive. They definitely are two peas in a pod and Clint's shot at wooing Kaitlyn has gone out the door with both men's credibility.
We all know The Bachelor producers spin loads of weird stuff and edit for ratings. The contestants sign away their privacy and right to yea or nay their comments on national TV and the producers cajole them into saying things. Get them drunk and get them to talk on camera.

Here's what I believe from reading both JJ and Clint's twitter accounts. I think they made a plan to be silly because they didn't get dates that week, and wanted to have some fun. Enter alcohol, boredom, ostrecization from the others and you have two guys saying they pop each others' pimples in the shower, love turtles, (only Clint says these things) and have the strangest Bromance ever seen on the Bachelor. They look like two boys in the first grade who are having the best play date EVER! I'm pretty sure, the producers were involved in all this. Time will tell but Clint doesn't seem too worried, or silent, on twitter. He appears to be amused by the whole thing. JJ too. They are still close, it appears.

On the next group date, Kaitlyn takes a group of unsuspecting men to teach a sex education class to talk about menstruation, sex and wet dreams to 10 year olds. The only good thing about this date is that the kids are actually actors (duh!) and the joke is on the very embarrassed men, Kaitlyn-style.
This schtick wasn't funny, wasn't amusing, wasn't entertainment at all. It was squirm-worthy. Bachelor Producers -- Shame on You! What a stupid idea. It was like the producers sat down with Kaitlyn to develop the plan for the show drunk. They pulled out all the stops and suggested the most asinine dates ever. I happen to know that most of the producers are over 30, the audience is over 30, so why have such immature ideas for dates? Kaitlyn seems amused but come on people!

The show ended at the Rose Ceremony cocktail party with Kaitlyn hearing about Clint's craziness and to the viewer at least, hinting that both he and JJ have labeled themselves as the Villains and are in love. The new thing is to keep the viewer waiting for the Rose Ceremony so this week's show ended with out takes of the diaper-wearing daters making fun of Kentucky's testicle hanging out of his diaper.

The show that we watch because of the romance factor, the dates, the potential love in action has now become not only a farce of gay love but a horribly stupid show. If they don't lose viewers over all this sex talk and potty humor, I'll be surprised.
What happened?

If The Bachelor doesn't step up their game, I won't be taping next week. Purposely.

Kim Hornsby is the author of THE HUSBAND HUNT, a romance novella series based on The Bachelor, for sale on Amazon. First one free to get you interested.

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