Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Pity Roses Turn to No Roses on The Bachelorette!

The pressure was on this week on The Bachelorette knowing two men would be eliminated and only four would take Jo Jo home to meet family--a big frickin' deal for the family whether they want to be on TV or not because ABC gets to film inside your house! They'd have to rent a clean house if either of my kids did this.
Alex gets the first one on one in Buenos Aires and off they go in an SUV as bored with each other as any people who've been married fifty years and never had anything in common in the first place. It was painful to watch! Painful to see how little chemistry they had and how big Jo Jo's yawn was.
Meanwhile the guys get on a funky bus, drink beer and compose an awesome rap wishing they were alone with Jo Jo. James, Chase, Jordan, Luke and Robby stop for mystery meat (that even the local dogs won't eat) at a roadside stand then continue on their Magic Bus journey.

Alex and Jo Jo pull in to a gorgeous country ranch/horse training center to learn to be estancias - Argentinian cowboys. The horse whisperer estancia got his horse to lie on the ground while Jo Jo and her date nestled in around the horse's head to talk and kiss. (Alex is dressed like a pancake hat-wearing goofball and Jo Jo gets to wear tight suede pants and heels!)
After cleaning off the horsey smell, Jo Jo and Alex meet for dinner and continue to have absolutely no chemistry although she tells him that it was a GREAT DAY, thereby leading him to think he was part of the great factor. Nope. She cut him loose and off he goes.
The men have checked in to a Polo Club rental house with high ceilings for all their hair and Jordan gets the next one on one. The men shoot daggers at him with their eyes.
Fresh from rejecting Alex, Jo Jo meets Jordan at an airstrip where they catch a private jet to Mendoza for wine tasting. Lots of kissing and flirting on the plane ensues and when they get to the gorgeous vineyard with the Andes Mountains in the background, they crush grapes with their feet then drink the juice, toe jam and all. A hot tub has mysteriously appeared in the middle of nowhere and Jor Jo get in to kiss, drink and talk.
We find out at dinner later that the famous quarterback, Aaron Rogers doesn't speak to Jordan or the other sibling. Aaron has no idea Jordan is on this show and probably won't until it airs. Wow! What a twist! This made everyone in the room fall in love with Jordan. Familial strife! Even though Jordan has posey lip biting expressions, he seems like a nice guy. What the heck is his real job though? And someone trim that hair or get him a hairband.

The group date is rained out so they play games in Jo Jo's hotel suite, like truth or dare, who can stuff the most fries in their mouth at once and then form a massage train. James does a bit of teasing/trash talking, especially on Robby, which is weird but Robby's extremely buffed body distracts us and probably Jo Jo because he gets the rose.

Luke has the next one on one and he gets to show Jo Jo just how sexy he is on a horse. There is a HUGE connection between these two. His hometown visit will be interesting. The cowboy is the front runner. What does he do for work??? I love what he says about his relationship with horses. Very eloquent. The date finishes without dinner and Luke returns to the Polo Club to tell everyone to get their suits and ties; it's time for the Rose Ceremony.
What?
At a building that resembles The Alamo, the men line up inside and roses are given to everyone but James. No surprise there. Off goes the cuddly singer from Texas.
Next week it's hometowns, where we think Robby's old GF might still be waiting in the wings. Or hiding under his pompadour! What's that you say? His ex was last seen this weekend on Instagram kissing Bad Chad?? Now that's revenge!

Kim Hornsby is a Bestselling Author of Suspense and Romance who lives in the Seattle area near a former Bachelor and personally knows a Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise alumni. Her opinions are her own and not those of the dogs lying at her feet begging for treats.
Find her books on Amazon, including The Husband Hunt, a novella strangely similar to a season of The Bachelor.

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