Wednesday, July 13, 2011

BAchelorette Goes to Taiwan!

Taiwan,the jewel of Asia was the setting for Monday night's episode of The Bachelorette and tuning in this week was worth it if only to see how geographically and architecturally gorgeous the island of TAiwan is. Lush jungle settings, the Taipei wedding photo district, the Lantern festival in a quaint coastal village were stops for Ashley and the remaining bachelors as they battled it out for next weeks hometown dates.
Constantine had a one on one date in which they travelled by steam train to the tiny village of Ping Sho to make a giant red lantern with their love wish and release it into the sky. Sounds romantic right? Except he kept saying that if he falls in love with her it will basically hit him like a brick to the head and he'll know when it happens which means "Hey, I'm not gonna fall gradually and I haven't felt it yet." Ashley loves this stuff - think Bentley, and nodded her head like all his flagellating was ok with her. She lives for the chase. And why is Constantine's hair always wet? Please don't tell me he gels that long mess. Two words for Constantine: Scissors and Charm.
Ben got a group date that lasted until the next morning which made the waiting bachelors in the Taipei REgent hotel stewing in jealousy and envy. Ben, the wine maker is definitely a front runner with his hippy style and ability to tell her how he feels. They went on a scooter ride through the mountains only to end up at a suspension bridge (kiss), then go for dinner at a resort (kiss) and end up staying the night in what Ben later said were called 'separate rooms'( more than kiss?) And if you believe that one...
Then the group date with Ames, JP and Lucas saw them at a photographic studio wearing 3 styles of wedding garb for wedding photos. Cute idea except that JP was in a piss poor mood about his girlfriend and Ben spending the night together and brought them all down. Then Lucas was assigned the traditional wedding garb of what he called a gold "dress", Ames wore a Vegas style blue tux with ostrich feathers (which I thought was totally fun and wonderful) and JP got the classic tux which did not make him pull up his sock straps enough to enjoy the date. He is ready to have Ashley completely to himself and his jealousy is showing through enough to red flag his almost girlfriend, but no, she gave him the rose for good sportsmanship and didn't see the green tinge to his skin around the other guys.
The next one on one was Ryan's long awaited date. Smiley Ryan, showed up to pour on the enthusiasm and positive energy (not solar) with none of the authenticity that was needed. He smiled through her boredom, telling her what a great date it was, explaining how hot water heaters can use less power and never noticing AShley's tell tale sign of biting her lips when something terrible is about to happen. She sent him home in the middle of a bite of dim sum and Ryan had a few tears behind the bushes while the cameras tried to chase him around the foliage to catch him crying. Just wait until the parties Ryan, that are part and parcel of being on the bachelor.Even that Guard and Protect your Heart guy found a girlfriend there. Poor Ryan just wants someone to love.
At the rose ceremony (no cocktail party - she knew who needed to leave) AShley kept Ames, JP, Ben, Constantine and let Lucas saunter, cowboy-style off into the sunset as he called her sweetheart and sugar and tried to leave gracefully. Then in true AShley form, she cried over her decision and worried that she shouldn't have let him go.
Next week is hometowns and we finally get to see the people who reared that gem of a gentleman Ames. I am pretty sure it's Ben who ends up with Ashley but I'm going to go out on a limb to say that I think Ames might be the next bachelor. Wouldn't that be interesting to watch him romance those wine drinking party gals, Nantucket style in his blazer and chinos?
Out for now. Thanks for reading!

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