Jo Jo Closes Up Like a Clam at Low Tide!

Last night's Bachelorette began with the airport hangar rose ceremony, the jet supposedly idling while Jo Jo picked which three men would accompany her to the next destination.

Luke, Robby, Chase and Jordan stood nervously waiting. Then Luke asked to speak to Jo Jo, declaring his feelings (which we were pretty sure he already did!!!) but his words didn't sway the lovely brunette/blonde. Luke walked off in a fog of confusion and heartbreak.


Thailand was the next stop on their itinerary and the first date was with Robby who appeared to be a front runner. It's my opinion that declaring your undying devotion very early  to Jo Jo carried a lot of weight with her. The twosome wandered a market in the seaside town of Hua Hin, then got caught in a thunder storm where they ducked inside for foot massages. What's Robby do for work? Anyways, Jo Jo is smitten with the hunky swimmer so I steeled myself for an imminent engagement to the poof-ball haired contender. At dinner, they were given a date card and key to the fantasy suite and were off to privacy without the cameras in your face 24/7.
That's the real excitement for these couples, not the prospect of getting naked.
Jordan's date was next and Jo Jo switched gears well. I was hoping there was at least one day between leaving Robby in a mass of tangled sheets and kissing Jordan on a Thai beach. Jor Jo sweated their way uphill to a viewpoint where Jordan hoped that he and Jo were writing their love story and Jo Jo wondered if this guy was too good to be true. After washing off all the sweat of the day (it's 105 degrees in Thailand with 100% humidity) dinner in a candlelit outdoor setting had Jo Jo grilling Jordan on what the next year would look like for them.
The quarterback was dodgy but said that whatever happened, they'd do it together. Is he still playing football? Off JorJo went to the fantasy suite where Jo Jo lay across a bed and Jordan closed the door on the cameras.
Chase drove up on a scooter and Jo Jo took him on a ponga ride until they landed on a private beach. More sweat fell until they got in the water and made out. Chase is big and strong. He can lift Jo Jo easily. At times Chase looks like he could model for Romance novel book covers. Between the beach portion of the date and dinner, while Jo Jo was back at her hotel room, Robby visited Jo Jo there while Chase played with sand outside Jo Jo's window. Or was this another day? The timeline didn't add up because at dinner with Chase, Jo Jo had hair down and wore a different dress.???
Chase was playful and forthcoming and Jo Jo began to close like a clam that senses low tide. When they got to the fantasy suite and Chase declared his depth of feeling, Jo Jo's face fell and she cut the young hunk loose. I was glad to see him react honestly when he said that as soon as he declared his love she said "Get the F___ out." Chase lashed out. Why did Jo Jo let things get so far? Don't take the guy to the fantasy suite, Girlfriend!
Chase was raw and real in the vehicle as he drove away from the fantasy suite (which looked more like a condo on the Jersey shore.)
At the sweatfest of a rose ceremony, Chris Harrison, who asked Jo Jo "how you doin'" twice!!!! greeted the two men and Jo Jo. By the time Jo Jo got in front of the men to explain that she had to let Chase go, Jordan's shirt was dripping sweat and Robby's armpits were drenched. In a surprising move to shock Bachelor Nation, Chase showed up to apologize for his anger and as he walked away, a (probably female) monkey who appreciates the strong silent type followed him.
Jo Jo toasted the two men remaining, suggesting she's in love with both, making Jordan look understandably uncomfortable. She suggests a group hug, didn't get it and a monkey scratched his ear with his foot on a rooftop behind them.

Tonight is The Men Tell All, with Bad Chad looking like he's going to beat up everyone after the show and next week is the finale with Jo Jo introducing both men to her family, crying a lot and not knowing who to choose. I'm not looking forward to all the crying. Just saying.

Kim Hornsby is a Bestselling Author of Suspense and Romance who lives in the Seattle area near a former Bachelor and personally knows a Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise alumni. Her opinions are her own and not those of the dogs lying at her feet begging for treats.
Find her books on AMAZON, including The Husband Hunt, a novella strangely similar to a season of The Bachelor.

Kaitlyn Throws One Man Under a Very Heavy Bus!

Last night we watched Kaitlyn and the men throw another man under the bus to stay on a reality TV show.

The Bachelorette kicked off last night's show with the drama of Nick Viall's arrival. Pulling a tiny carry-on to the men's suite, Nick then seated himself across from the eleven men while they shot daggers at him with their eyes.
Silence. Tra la la. More silence.
AWKWARD!

Tanner has taken it upon himself to be the group's spokesperson in this matter. He seemed to know that Nick had dinner with Andy last month and I was impressed with his wealth of knowledge. Especially because cell phones and such are taken at the beginning of this process and the ability to look anything up on the internet or watch TV isn't possible. Tanner knows a little too much to be normal.

For the rose ceremony they took off to Citi Field, the home of the Mets baseball team where JJ carried Kaitlyn around the bases to get back on track with female dating (even though he was wearing pink socks and told one of the guys he was the most handsome one there.) Shawn B was clearly upset that Nick Viall was still there and told Kaitlyn that her actions weren't matching up. She wants honesty above everything, she said.
The Rose Ceremony was on the baseball diamond where it appeared to be absolutely freezing according to the men's blue lips. (Kaitlyn wore a wool coat and gloves.) No surprises on who went home and I can't even tell you their names but I'll try--Cory, Jonathon and scarf guy with cool glasses. Nick stayed, like we knew he would.

Next, they were off to San Antonio Texas to the St. Anthony Hotel where Ben H got the first one on one date. I like Ben. He's someone who hasn't said a heckuvalot but when he does, it makes sense. They took off in a vintage FORD truck to a dance hall where they entered a Two Step contest after a lesson. THIS DATE TOTALLY ROCKED!
Now this is what I'm talking about when I say that the wrestling dates are stupid. This is the perfect type of date. They danced, laughed, met a bunch of middle-aged people who thought they were cute, drank beer, and listened to Del Washington and his Big White Hair sing a song called Quick Quick Slow Slow. Kissing followed and Ben H secured himself a frontrunner spot.

Back at the house, Nick was blabbing on and on and trying to fit in (?) but I yelled "Shut Up Nick" to the TV. There was a day I liked Nick but I think it was the nasty phone call that he made from the plane that was filmed and circulated after he left Andi's season, that ruined it for me. Calling Kaitlyn a "cool chick" didn't earn him any popularity points when he walked in either.

On the group date the remaining guys (except Shawn B) dressed in Mariachi Costumes (tight pants, big hats) and wrote Kaitlyn songs to the tune of the Frito Bandito song. Nick took her up to a balcony to serenade her, (the guys thought it was a good move) and Ian totally choked again to sing in public, like a little scared puppy. I can tease him because just wait until how this man digs himself into an early grave later.

After, Kaitlyn gave Joshua a bad haircut that seemed like an especially terrible idea when she accidentally shaved one side of his head, he took her aside to divulge his hatred for Nick. The worst part of this revelation was that she turned his words around to make it sound like he told her everyone else was lying to her (about Nick's popularity) when in fact, he was simply telling her that no one likes Nick. Pretty much true! Joshua then slipped back in to the log house cocktail party and made his second mistake by lying to the guys by saying he was doing an interview. They knew he'd taken Kaitlyn aside and when she marched in to throw Joshua under the bus about hating Nick, the men stepped aside and let him fly. Even Tanner, who is very vocal about not trusting Nick was silent as Joshua got run over by sixteen heavy bus wheels.

The 1 on 1 went to Shawn B. Kaitlyn said she even loves Shawn's smell. That is a good sign that she is falling for the Ryan Gosling look alike. They kayaked down a picturesque river, had a romantic dinner and Shawn got the rose. No drama so it didn't get much time on camera.
The next night, Ian the Princeton graduate who has a lot of sex, if he wants it, was bragging and clearly feeling upset that he has no connection with Kaitlyn. Buddy: She's not the right girl for you so walk away gracefully, don't shove down our throats that you should go on to be the next Bachelor. After saying how great you are and that you get lots of sex, you are doomed, Man. You may not even be invited to any after parties when she boots your butt next week for telling her she is a surface level person. Can you say "Sour Grapes"????

Jared got to cross the hall to Kaitlyn's rose- petaled bed where they kissed and he secretly collected petals to form a rose in hopes that she will forget if she already gave him one or not. As much as he looks like he'll turn into a wolf during a full moon, he's actually quite a cutie.

Next week we see who goes home. I predict Ian will leave to get some sex from ladies who realize what a catch he is, maybe Justin because I can't even remember who this is, and Joshua for shooting off his mouth and letting her buzz the left side of his head. What do you think?

Spoilers Ahead:


Scroll down to hear what I've heard through Bachelor Nation....









According to Social Media buzz a photo was posted of Kaitlyn in bed with her boyfriend last week and it was none other than Shawn B. the Ryan Gosling guy. It went up on Snapchat for a few minutes and was taken down, making us wonder if they end up together or if The Bachelor producers staged something.
Also, Nick Viall was spotted getting cozy with Whitney Bischoff, the ex-fiancee of Chris Soules. Uggh. The thought makes me kind of want to hurl in sympathy for Whitney.