Pity Roses Turn to No Roses on The Bachelorette!

The pressure was on this week on The Bachelorette knowing two men would be eliminated and only four would take Jo Jo home to meet family--a big frickin' deal for the family whether they want to be on TV or not because ABC gets to film inside your house! They'd have to rent a clean house if either of my kids did this.
Alex gets the first one on one in Buenos Aires and off they go in an SUV as bored with each other as any people who've been married fifty years and never had anything in common in the first place. It was painful to watch! Painful to see how little chemistry they had and how big Jo Jo's yawn was.
Meanwhile the guys get on a funky bus, drink beer and compose an awesome rap wishing they were alone with Jo Jo. James, Chase, Jordan, Luke and Robby stop for mystery meat (that even the local dogs won't eat) at a roadside stand then continue on their Magic Bus journey.

Alex and Jo Jo pull in to a gorgeous country ranch/horse training center to learn to be estancias - Argentinian cowboys. The horse whisperer estancia got his horse to lie on the ground while Jo Jo and her date nestled in around the horse's head to talk and kiss. (Alex is dressed like a pancake hat-wearing goofball and Jo Jo gets to wear tight suede pants and heels!)
After cleaning off the horsey smell, Jo Jo and Alex meet for dinner and continue to have absolutely no chemistry although she tells him that it was a GREAT DAY, thereby leading him to think he was part of the great factor. Nope. She cut him loose and off he goes.
The men have checked in to a Polo Club rental house with high ceilings for all their hair and Jordan gets the next one on one. The men shoot daggers at him with their eyes.
Fresh from rejecting Alex, Jo Jo meets Jordan at an airstrip where they catch a private jet to Mendoza for wine tasting. Lots of kissing and flirting on the plane ensues and when they get to the gorgeous vineyard with the Andes Mountains in the background, they crush grapes with their feet then drink the juice, toe jam and all. A hot tub has mysteriously appeared in the middle of nowhere and Jor Jo get in to kiss, drink and talk.
We find out at dinner later that the famous quarterback, Aaron Rogers doesn't speak to Jordan or the other sibling. Aaron has no idea Jordan is on this show and probably won't until it airs. Wow! What a twist! This made everyone in the room fall in love with Jordan. Familial strife! Even though Jordan has posey lip biting expressions, he seems like a nice guy. What the heck is his real job though? And someone trim that hair or get him a hairband.

The group date is rained out so they play games in Jo Jo's hotel suite, like truth or dare, who can stuff the most fries in their mouth at once and then form a massage train. James does a bit of teasing/trash talking, especially on Robby, which is weird but Robby's extremely buffed body distracts us and probably Jo Jo because he gets the rose.

Luke has the next one on one and he gets to show Jo Jo just how sexy he is on a horse. There is a HUGE connection between these two. His hometown visit will be interesting. The cowboy is the front runner. What does he do for work??? I love what he says about his relationship with horses. Very eloquent. The date finishes without dinner and Luke returns to the Polo Club to tell everyone to get their suits and ties; it's time for the Rose Ceremony.
What?
At a building that resembles The Alamo, the men line up inside and roses are given to everyone but James. No surprise there. Off goes the cuddly singer from Texas.
Next week it's hometowns, where we think Robby's old GF might still be waiting in the wings. Or hiding under his pompadour! What's that you say? His ex was last seen this weekend on Instagram kissing Bad Chad?? Now that's revenge!

Kim Hornsby is a Bestselling Author of Suspense and Romance who lives in the Seattle area near a former Bachelor and personally knows a Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise alumni. Her opinions are her own and not those of the dogs lying at her feet begging for treats.
Find her books on Amazon, including The Husband Hunt, a novella strangely similar to a season of The Bachelor.

The Chicken Tells All on The Bachelor!

Sheila, the little chicken from Redmond, Washington, sat quietly during The Women Tell All on The Bachelor last night, until she couldn't take it any longer. Chickens can sense liars and when she flew off owner and Bachelor contestant, Tiara Soleim's lap, it kind of said it all.
Sheila's "I'm outta here" flying escape during Olivia saying "I'm a strong, independent woman," one more time, was actually what I wanted to do at that point.
I'm pretty sure if Sheila could talk, she'd have told Olivia, "Be sure to add aggressive, competitive and insensitive, because most of these women who have left good jobs and the safety of the real world to be on this scary and possibly life-changing reality show, have the same strength and independence as you."
The best behaved chicken in Hollywood took to the ABC studio skies to hop to Lace's lap, then continued to the floor on her way to the door, the airport and ultimately the plane that brought her to Los Angeles. (Side note: Tiara flew to L.A. with Sheila who could not go under the seat in front of her and actually had to ride in cargo in the dark! What a trooper!)
Tiara then convinced her little pet to come back to her lap and listen some more to the girls' venting about what went down in the house.

Here's the thing (and Sheila knows this, I'm sure). Women love to talk, we need to vent, we have big emotions that make us say crazy things sometimes and then we make up. Sometimes we say stuff we don't REALLY mean. Not really. Especially three months later.

Like Jubilee. I love Jubilee. Love. She might have said she was the only full-black woman in the house and that might be an offensive comment to people who are half black, I don't know, but give the girl a break. She's done 4 frickin' tours of duty in the military. If she bragged about being all black and minimized your blackness, can you not just let it go? If someone said to Jaime that they were half Canadian and she said she was full Canadian, would we be talking about this?

Maybe Jubilee was hard to get along with if you lived in the house but let's move on, Ladies. You are not going to get sympathy when you speak against a woman whose family all died in Haiti, who serves in the military and cries on camera. Complicated is fine. Many people are.
And Amy Schumer went on a rant today (#InternationalWomensDay) to lambaste Chris Harrison who tried to help Jubilee be less complicated, saying that Jubilee doesn't need a romance to be an amazing woman. Amy said complicated is not a bad thing. I wonder if she was too hasty to jump on that cause.
I don't think Chris tried to say complicated won't get you a man, necessarily, but Jubilee indicated that she'd like to love openly and maybe wasn't the best personality type for this type of show where everyone competes to date the same person. Chris Harrison was trying to handle her tears in his usual bumbling, love counselor style. It wasn't a terrible thing, Amy, and I should know. I love to call out C.H.
Last night the twins were a little too verbal, Amanda had a throat problem and couldn't really speak, Lauren H said nothing, Caila looked like she'd been crying before the show, Lace redeemed herself with a gorgeous apology and Olivia still looked aggressive and bossy. (She needs one of those Hollywood coaches who tell you how to dig yourself out of bad PR.)

I actually loved this Women Tell All so much more than most but maybe that is because I know Tiara and have held that little chicken in my hands and both 'ladies' are as sweet and lovely as you'd ever want to know. I'm just hoping that Tiara and Sheila get to go to Bachelor In Paradise in a few months and we can see Sheila in her poultry bikini!
What do you think.

#SheilaforBachelorInParadise
#ChickenTellsAll

The Bachelor Breaks the Cardinal Rule!!!!

Jamaica Mon, on The Bachelor!

Ben has three women left at this point and all three women are in love with the hunky software salesman from Indiana. Or they think they are. It's my opinion that at this point they have a form of Stockholm Syndrome and are in love with the only man they've seen for months, a man who is made out to be the next James Bond and their feelings in this captivity have led them to believe they love Ben. It's clever how the producers limit their time with the Bachelor and control the women's experiances. That's why the Fantasy Suite dates are essential. They actually get to spend uninterrupted hours to find out who this guy really is. Forget the bed. The women don't have cameras in their faces, directors telling them where to stand, producers prompting them for dirt on another girl.

The first date last night was Caila and Ben's float on a raft down a river to the Jerky Center where they ate barbeque and drank from coconuts. Caila was worried and quiet and not herself and Ben sensed it. Conversation was stilted.
Later, at the dinner table, she confessed her worry about the other relationships. He basically told her to trust him so she did, and bravely revealed that she loved him. Fireworks went crazy in the background as they stood in thigh deep (probably cold) water to pose and kiss. They woke up the next morning and blissfully kissed, drank coffee, and smiled a lot, like lovers do.

Lauren's date with Ben involved releasing newborn sea turtles to the ocean, an activity I missed doing by one day recently in Nicaragua. (There were no new hatches the day I was at the turtle beach.) Lauren and Ben had loads of one day old Hawksbills to watch as they hobbled to the sea instinctively. Who wasn't moved to almost tears to see these babies head to what will probably be their early demise in the ocean. Not many make it. Not like in Finding Nemo.
That night, Lauren and Ben found a reggae band on the street and sat at the Bachelor dinner vignette to read the Fantasy Suite card. Lauren told Ben that he's the man of her dreams and also revealed that she loved him. For the first time in Bachelor history the Bachelor said it back and I almost fell off my chair and spilled my two buck Chuck. Are they allowed to say that? He did! These two seemed very much in love and I pretty much had this contest all sewn up at this point but wait...

The next day with Jo Jo went swimmingly. She wears skimpy, sexy clothes, have you noticed? Her bikini at YS Falls was strange and highlighted her assets. She and Ben swam and talked and kissed and when she revealed she loved him, Ben said he loved her too. Jo Jo's mouth feel open. WHAT? She took this to mean that she is the ONE, I was pretty sure, and fell the rest of the way in love with Ben. Isn't this the Bachelor Cardinal Rule #1? Do not say those love words until your propose to that one girl at the very end??? Whether the show's psychologist warned Ben or not, we'll never know.

The Fantasy Suite card presented itself at dinner and off they went to the Romeo and Juliet room for privacy. In the morning, they fed each other fruit, declared their love for each other and off Ben went to ponder what to do after telling two women that he loves them. He forgot to tell Caila that he loves her! But wait. He doesn't exactly.
When Caila decided to surprise him with a visit to his guest house on the other side of the island, he sat her down on the cold hard stairs outside his suite and delivered the cold, hard truth. She had to leave. She started to, then got out of the car to ask him when he knew he wasn't in love with her. Good move, Caila! She got a satisfactory answer and cried all the way to the airport.
At the rose ceremony sisterwives Lauren and Jo Jo wondered where Caila got to until Ben arrived to say he'd sent her home. They toasted awkwardly, group hugged awkwardly, and tried to smile even though all three of them knew that one of them would be crying their eyes out in the next few days. Well, maybe two of them. Ben is a soft-hearted guy.

The Women Tell All was filmed Saturday night in Los Angeles and the Chicken Enthusiast was invited to attend--and Sheila, the little chicken who she loves. Sheila had to fly cargo, unlike a tiny dog who can go under the seat in front but the little chicken handled her trip to Hollywood like a trooper. Tiara, the chicken enthusiast had never been more proud of a chicken in her life. Sheila was held by Chris Harrison and Elan Gale for selfies, got on-camera time and even squawked at an appropriate moment during the taping. We aren't sure if Tiara will get edited out but the fact that they invited someone who was let go the first night, was an exciting honor for our girl from Washington State.
Tune in Monday to see if Sheila the chicken gets air time, if they cut away to Tiara's mid-riff showing outfit or if they call out Leah for lying about throwing Lauren B under the bus!

Tears and Orthopedics on The Bachelor

Monday night on The Bachelor, we followed Ben Higgins to Warsaw Indiana, the orthopedic capital. I'd always wondered where that was and now I know!
Warsaw looked postcard pretty and so much more interesting than Chris Soules' town with five buildings, and one of them shut down. I'd move to Warsaw!

Autumn in Indiana looks very picturesque and both my hubby and I wondered if those amazing Bachelor set designers scattered red and gold leaves everywhere to make the town look so pretty.

Ben picked up the few girls left in his family's party boat and drove them around the large lake to their rented house, which was apparently just down the shoreline from the Higgins' family digs.

The first date was a one on one and Ben grabbed Lauren from the group of girls on the couch to tour the town in a quaint old red truck. Unlike my tour of Hubby's hometown 24 years ago where he pointed out all the places he got in trouble, Ben took Lauren to where he volunteers time to an after school kids' program. The kids remembered him even though he now lives in Colorado and has a real job. Very cute. Two Indiana NBA stars joined them for basketball and Lauren fit in like she grew up in the Orthopedic capital.

When the sun set, they ended up in matching jeans and leather jackets at Ben's old apartment, I believe he said. A moment to clear the air about Lauren's commitment to Ben, had them smooching and all was well in Ben/Lauren world.
Back at the house though, tears flowed from the girls left behind. "Why am I here if I don't get a one on one?" This is the type of thinking that can lead a contender straight to the Limo for One, if you're not careful. Sheesh! Lasting relationships take time to grow. Five weeks to be exact.

Ben and Jo Jo had a date the next day and drove to Chicago, (really close to Warsaw) to visit Wrigley Field, home of the Cubs, Ben's favorite sports team. They played a bit of baseball, hung out on the grass, tried to eat a romantic dinner on the mound and we never heard any references to Ben trying to get to third base with Jo Jo.


The group date next day was a fun/morose jaunt to a picturesque farm where Becca, Amanda and Caila coupled up and tried to row boats on the farm's pond. Becca and Caila were too distracted with Ben in the other boat to figure out how to row. Then, they went in the barn where the set designers had made a barn look prettier than it had a right to and I was sure Becca had a terrible flashback of another Bachelor barn where her heart was broken by Chris Soules. She looked a bit traumatized, especially when the rose went to Amanda.

Off went Ben and Caila on the second half of the date that included a town carnival where the mayor declared Ben a town treasure and Amanda declared Ben a french frie stealer. (Another McDonald's ad!)

Emily got the last one on one date and was thrilled to get her alone time with the tall hunk. They took off in the party boat and docked at Ben's family home where Emily proceeded to dig herself deeper and deeper into the "I'm too young to get married" hole. She actually said that she'd always wanted to be an NFL cheerleader to Ben's parents like there was still plenty of time to chase her dream. Which there is, but not with Ben and he had to cut her loose after the date. I happen to think Emily is a sweet kid but she's a kid, still. She had to ask if the birds on the lake were swans. Endearing, but not wife material for Ben.
More tears ensued when she packed, left and got in the Limo for One.

 The girls proceeded to get ready for a chilly rose ceremony amongst the red and gold maple leaves on the county courthouse lawn in Warsaw.
Coats were in order, probably something most of the girls didn't foresee needing to wear over a sexy cocktail dress. Becca did not make the cut and was a bit snarky over him "blindsiding" her. Hey, Becca. Blindsiding is when you don't see it coming and you spent most of this episode talking about how you'd probably get cut.



Next week is hometowns and it looks like the mean brother syndrome rears its ugly head at JoJo's. Oh Oh!

Pigs and Rats on The Bachelor!

Last night on The Bachelor things got off to a great start with Ben stupidly asking Olivia if she is the villain in the house. Of course she said no and tears followed. Apparently she likes to talk about "smart things" and she likes "thinking" and the other girls just do not. Oh an don't forget, Olivia, to add "the other girls aren't extremely competitive backstabbers."

Ben did not snatch Olivia's rose away, much to the chagrin of the other ladies, and when the camera cut to a shot of Olivia saying "Come at me, Bro," I almost did one of those surprise wine spits across the room.
Jennifer, someone we didn't get to hear from much, did not get a rose, went home, and also missed a great opportunity to warn Ben of Olivia.
The happy group toasted to going next to the Bahamas like it was an all-expense paid vacation to a tropical island (which it was!) and off they went. We cut to a commercial of Ben selling Disneyland and a special honoring 60 years of fun over there. At least is wasn't Mickey D's again. Talk about the Hawking Higgins!
At the Grand Isle Villas (product placement again) the gals cracked open the champs and settled in to the couch to hear Chris H wish them a wonderful week and hand out a date card for Caila, a girl who has already had a one on one with Ben if you don't count plugging Ice Cube and his sidekick's movie a few weeks ago. This made Leah, a seldom heard from girl in the harem, mad/disappointed. She's hardly ever even talked to the Bachelor so why is he keeping her around? It's called filler,

Leah and just be glad you got to hang around. The Chicken Enthusiast had to go home after 3 days in Los Angeles!!!!
Ben and Caila take off on a big boat to go deep sea fishing, every woman's dream date. Ahem. While Caila was reeling in a tuna, Leah was crying her eyes out back at the villa about how she hasn't had time with Ben. Then the happy couple took a leap off the tuna tower! Weeeee.

 It was funny editing, comparing the fun fish-killing date to drama back in the girls' villa. Once they washed the fishy smell off, Ben and Caila try to talk heart-to-heart but Caila is one confusing gal! She loves Ben but worries she'll break his heart, but she has real feelings for him but she doesn't. And why is it when we cut to Lauren B, her eyes are always red? Is she allergic to salt air?
The next day was a date that every woman has dreamed about all her life--sharing your boyfriend with 6 other women to go swim with ravenous pigs off a rocky island. Yes, you read that right. The women were given a plastic pail filled with hot dogs and apparently the resident pigs don't care who they trample to get the tasty confection.

Forget sharks. Did we know pigs swam that well? I didn't. Or had such bad manners? Well, I did know that because I often tell my children at the dinner table to stop eating like pigs.
Lauren H holds a piglet that looks like it would've latched on if given the chance. Ben thought it was all great fun but not only were the women upset about how much time he devoted to Lauren B. but the pigs have ruined the fun by showing their dangerous side. Leah had a perfect chance to grab Ben to talk but instead, complained about never getting time to talk with him while a pig squeals in the background.

Luckily, when they cleaned up for cocktails, they'd left Pig Island and were back at the Villa. Leah tried another tactic and threw Lauren B under the Ben bus by saying Lauren B is two-faced (excuse me, do you mean Olivia?) and then denied it with the girls. Lauren cried and was really upset when Ben told her, understandably so, but Amanda gets the rose.
Later, Leah saw an opportunity and put on her shortest shorts, teased her hair and went to Ben's bachelor pad to essentially rat out Lauren some more. He sent her packing and out she goes, on the next flight home. Geez, Leah. Rule #47 - Don't use your precious time to talk trash about the other girls to the Bachelor.
The next date was a two on one, the worst type of date in the history of The Bachelor, not just because 50% of the girls on the date go home at the end but it's just plain stupid. Does anyone else think that the Bachelor is asked "Okay, who do you want to cut loose and we'll put them on a two on one with someone you want to stay?"

The thing with this date with Emily and Olivia is that the producers made a big deal about Emily hating Olivia, then got The Mouth to trash talk Emily on camera and off they went on a terrible date in a hurricane-force wind. The speed boat deposited them on a sandy island (no pigs?) and wine was poured while Emily's hair hid her whole face in the raging wind and Olivia had the sense to scrunchie hers. Ben took Olivia on a walk with the rose and she thought she had this in the bag but when he broke the news that he couldn't reciprocate her feelings, it was the sweetest revenge!!! I'm sorry but if you talk stink about everyone else on national TV, you have to accept the fact that they are going to let you stand on a tiny island by yourself crying
while your boyfriend takes off for home with your enemy and then have the helicopter circle your lonely body on the beach for effect. My sources tell me that Olivia is really upset at how the show is portraying her but come on! No one put those words in her mouth when she said that Emily was immature and the date would be more like she and Ben were taking a child along.
Bye Bye, Olivia.
A commercial came on for Stella Artois (a fine beer!) that apparently gives money to a clean water project with every sale. Well done, beer company. #BuyaLadyaDrink
At the rose ceremony, we have JoJo, Becca, Emily, the Laurens, Amanda and Caila. They didn't leave us hanging and we said goodbye to Lauren H, the kindergarten teacher who modeled last week in Mexico.
Next week, it looks like everyone has buckets of tears, including Ben, so if you like watching people who are miserable, you'll love the show! Oh and The Bachelor has a big party on Sunday night celebrating 20 years of manipulating a dating situation to sell products on TV. Can't wait.

Kim Hornsby is a Bestselling, Award-Winning Suspense Author who can be found on Amazon here. She uses this blog to exercise her funny muscle and because she loves to hear herself talk.

Bachelor Producers Give Olivia her Own Show!

This week on the Bachelor the star of the show was Olivia, the News Anchor from Austin Texas who likes to hold her mouth open for long periods of time to show surprise. We saw Olivia in blue, Olivia in red, also plaid, Olivia with curled hair, straight hair, no makeup, fully made up, etc. You get the idea. It was like The Olivia Show. Sixteen times, we cut to a private interview to hear what Olivia thought. SIXTEEN TIMES!

The episode began with the flight to Mexico City! "Viva La Mexico" Ben yells for the camera. It's interesting to note that the Bachelor person always flies separately from the girls. I believe this is purposefully done to keep these women chomping at the bit to see their "boyfriend"... reminds me of the Stockholm Syndrome.
The ladies check in to the opulent Four Seasons Hotel in Mexico City and we begin the Olivia Show with a cut to her head and neck telling us that she and Ben have a special love, unlike all the others. She feels it. She's special.

Amanda, the petite mom with the small voice gets the one on one date and then we cut to Olivia to hear her comments on this. Not happy.

At 4 a.m. the next morning, Ben is let into their suite and with a flashlight, wakes them up, calling their names, looking for Amanda who amazingly sleeps in full makeup, hair done, and wearing a cute outfit.

Don't tell me she didn't know this was happening. The others had their weaves on the nightstand, were wearing retainers, had teddy bears in their arms and had "dragon breath" - Olivia
The date takes Ben and Amanda to board a hot air balloon where they cruise over the pyramids and cuddle and talk and kiss. I thought Amanda looked frightened, either of Ben or the balloon experience but that could just be me. At the picnic spot, they looked perfectly in sync and talked about Amanda's ex husband who is now probably trying to do damage control for being outed as a bad dad on national TV. That night, after suiting up in fancy duds, they sat at a table for two, sipping drinks, talking about how it's hard for Amanda to switch from Mom mode to sexy siren mode. Fair enough.

The group date included everyone but Lauren H who almost spilled red wine on a white couch when she heard her name not being called. It meant that she'd get the last one on one. Again we cut to Olivia for her opinion on this and she made some faces and did some minor trash talk.
The date began with a Spanish Lesson by a teacher who held one of those old fashioned pointers. Ben learns how to say "I love you, will you marry me and will you accept this rose." How about "back off Olivia"? (that's what I was kind of hoping for) Olivia gets more camera time, Emily drops in for her comments on Olivia and we see that the producers are creating a cat fight moment in the works. Jubilee is not happy with Ben having 10 other girlfriends. Not at all.
They walked to a restaurant & market where a scary-looing woman in tight braids and her brother divided them into teams of two and gave them each a shopping list. Olivia and Jubilee grabbed Ben and wouldn't let go. Finally Olivia "claimed him" and they all went downstairs to shop for ingredients. It's a cooking competition and no one in the group but Ben likes to cook, apparently. Olivia got more air time, hung off Ben, fed him food and they drank tequila as they shopped.
Strangely, we cut to a commercial that features Sean and Catherine, Desiree and Chris and Ben, touting McDonald's food. What???? How much did they get paid to do this? I have to think Catherine is thinking "this will buy all the baby nursery furniture" as she pretends to eat Mickey D food.

Back at the restaurant, the girls pretty much failed at cooking. Olivia put dried crickets on her and Ben's food and didn't get the laugh she hoped for. Lauren B and Jubilee won the competition with an edible fish dish but they got absolutely nothing for their effort.
That night at the cocktail party, Olivia grabbed Ben mid-sentence and claimed him once more, making her the most hated girl in the house. Maybe not most hated girl ever because she hasn't faked a panic attack yet. Oh, wait. She did that last week.

Emily got more riled and talked about telling Ben that Olivia is a bully. "I'm not afraid to say that," she says. Jubilee is not good in a group date setting and her insecurities made her bitch material when Ben tried to take her aside for a talk. She's pissed to be sharing Ben and the writing on the wall had Ben asking her to leave the show. She exited tearfully and we are sad to see her go. We liked her but she just couldn't separate her relationship from the other girls' relationships. Crash and burn.

JoJo takes Ben aside for a talk and is real and sweet and truthful and of course, Olivia doesn't like that someone else in talking to her man. I'm kind of sick of hearing from Olivia at this point. I wouldn't mind hearing from Leah or Jennifer please. But Olivia got the rose, flaunted it and we dislike her.

The next one on one date is Lauren H, the blonde kindergarten teacher with the funny faces. It happened to be Fashion Week in Mexico City and they ended up modeling for a designer in his fashion show. Both Ben and Lauren did a stand up job with their soft elbows on the runway. They looked bored as hell (as models do!) while they walked the walk and did a fine job. "Holy Shoot!" Lauren says (in case parents of students are watching) Ben does the sexiest little wink at her as they pass on the runway and it's worth finding that moment on your TV to see. Here's the last 1/4 second of the wink below...

Their twosome dinner/drinks went well and Lauren H got the rose. Because they both sleep with a retainer, they found common ground that bonds them beyond a physical attraction, you see.

At the rose ceremony on a rooftop patio, Olivia is still getting oodles of camera time and when she said hearing Amanda's story of her kids reminds her of an episode of Teen Mom, Olivia buries herself, socially. Ben isn't there to hear but the girls decided that is the final straw. Emily went off to tell Ben about Olivia who is still acting all haughty after her inappropriate comment. Mid-cry Emily saw Olivia coming down the stairs to crash Ben and Emily's moment and Emily runs off like the place is on fire instead of confronting her. This is totally expected from a girl who sleeps with a teddy bear.
Amanda also tells Ben that Olivia is a bully (when he specifically asks her) and he's shocked. Well done, Amanda. That gets the Bachelor thinking maybe Olivia isn't all she pretends to be. He should just ask her outright because of course she will tell him the truth.
Okay, this is the moment on every show where the girls hate one girl, the Bachelor can't see it and he keeps her on in spite of what he's been told. RED FLAG! I have to think the producers insist that the hated girl has to stay for another week and give some excuse that satisfies the Bachelor because this happens every time!!!!
When Ben asks to speak to Olivia privately, we see To Be Continued on the screen but we know. She'll fake ignorance, he'll feel badly for her and she'll stay. After all, she has that rose in her clutches. Next week we'll see this all go down but I don't need to wait on pins and needles. I know.
They didn't give Olivia 16 cut to camera shots this week to let her walk away. And I counted how many times we had to hear from the mouth from the south about her overly competitive attitude.

Note to Olivia: This is what good sportsmanship looks like...

I do not watch the after party live show anymore as it makes me lose all respect for myself by wasting a perfectly good hour.

This is Ben's Charity and probably one of the reasons he did THE BACHELOR -- to raise awareness.
Humanity and Hope


Kim Hornsby is a Bestselling, Award-Winning Suspense Author who can be found on Amazon here. She uses this blog to exercise her funny muscle and because she loves to hear herself talk.

Bachelor Producers Keep Lace

Week 2 of The Bachelor with Dreamy Dreamboat Ben Higgins had us scratching our heads wondering where the Chicken Enthusiast went and why Ben didn't keep her. He kept so many questionable, (can I say boring?) girls!
Well, they are probably all extremely wonderful off camera but keeping Lace over Tiara after Lace's obsessive neediness and bitchiness makes me pretty damned sure that the producers have a say in who goes and who stays.
Sources tell me that the Chicken Enthusiast herself had no idea what happened. She and Ben hit it off and he told her she had the "kindest heart" but choosing Lace over Tiara Soleim, the poultry Queen, tells us one of two things--there's something fishy in Bachelorville or Ben isn't interested in chickens. Or kind hearts.

The evening opened with the money shot of Ben in his boxers at the Four Season's Hotel getting ready for his day. The first date was with Jackie, L.B., Lauren H, Amber, Becca, Mandy, Jo Jo, Jubilee, Jennifer and Lace. Oh, and Amanda.


Usually at this point in the season, I give the girls my own nicknames. Here goes nothing:

Lace - Bitch Psycho Drinker ( too much?)
Amanda - Mom of Two
Jo Jo - Cute, short girl
Amber- Bach regular
Becca - Famous Virgin
Jackie - Gerontologist
Mandy - Flower Head
LB - Fuchsia Dress first night
Jubilee - Soldier
Jennifer - Brunette long hair
Lauren H. - Kindergarten teacher
Olivia - Anchor Woman
Caila - Small Brunette with big smile
Jami - Token Canadian
Emily/Haley - Twins
Leah - Blonde/Denver
Lauren B - Flight Attendant
Shushana -Russian
Rachel - Unemployed
Samantha - Husky-voiced blonde

A bunch of the gals went on the first group date to Bachelor High, an actual high school where future contestants learn to shed their dignity to compete for time with Ben by mixing ingredients to make Ben's volcanoes erupt. Or bobbing for apples. Was this the best they could do for the first date? I mean really. It was silly shtick and kind of embarrassing. Mandy ended up winning the hurdles in her bare feet and got the genuine thrill of riding around a track 27 times with Ben in a convertible while the losers watched from their lineup in the blazing sunshine. Date rating 2/5

That night the dress code was heels and legs and everyone arrived in minis and stilettos. Summary of the rooftop patio cocktail party - Olivia has a large mouth and opens it wide a lot to express surprise. needy Lace thinks if she locks eyes with Ben for 5 seconds it's called eye sex, and Jo Jo got the rose from Ben after hugs and kisses on the roof of the very tall building. Lace showed her claws and her cra cra a little too much again.

The next date was the one on one, but was more like a one on three with Kevin Hart and Ice Cube doing a Ride Along to pimp their movie that releases soon. Soon The Bachelor will have the contestants pimping Coca Cola and hotels. Oh wait, they do the last one. The two actors from Ride Along were moderately funny on the cheapo date with Caila and Ben that included riding around in a very old Buick convertible, visiting a liquor store to buy condoms, and stopping at a dingy spa store for a hot tub soak in the store's floor model. Kevin Hart joined them in the water, sans swim suit, and the black box was resurrected from Chris Soules' season to cover his family jewels and Parker House rolls when he left the tub.

That night, after showering off the germs from the display model hot tub, Ben and Caila had a sweet conversation over an untouched, plastic- looking dinner at a pub/restaurant and once the rose was in her hand, they meandered down the street to a private concert by none other than Amos Lee!!! (My Hubby and I were both googling Amos Lee to see who the heck he is.)Caila and Ben did a lot of smooching and a bit of dancing and seemed to get along just great while Amos promoted his album in the background.

The next day's group date was with another bunch of girls at the Love Lab Technologies Headquarters and if you've never heard of this process, you are in for a big treat. Huge! This is the place where they can measure your smell and check your brain to see if you're compatible with another person. All the man has to do is wear headgear and sniff near the woman's butt to see if she's his type. Okay, I found this EXTREMELY uncomfortable (not to mention stupid!) and felt horrible for Samantha when a blindfolded Ben said she smelled "sour".
She scored the lowest of all the gals, and Olivia the anchorwoman scored highest, mostly because when they did their brain test, she flirted with him, talking about how difficult it was to not kiss him when their lips were so close. With pheromones flying between them, the attraction needle spiked. Well done, Olivia.
She got to have time with Ben in his hotel suite later while the other girls waited on the Four Season's rooftop patio. Amanda was not impressed with Liv's braggy behavior when she got back. Oh no. But she took the opportunity to tell Ben about her daughters and he was so very sweet when he learned Amanda is a mom. So genuinely sweet that I warmed to the guy who was earlier smelling girls hips. "Kids don't scare me," he said.
And we believed him. He even wanted to know their names. (Maybe the chicken enthusiast should have pretended she had human kids. I can't let this go!)
Olivia got the date rose and Amanda was a bit weepy over that. After all, her time is super precious.









At the ROSE CEREMONY, the next night, Lace shows a Dobby-like side, talking to herself (it appears) in the bathroom about master seeing her bad side. She did not want this to happen. Did not. She must be more careful.
Thing is, Lace thinks her worst feature is being insecure which is kind of amusing and sad because the poor girl doesn't realize that it's so much more than that. She's highly competitive, tends to verbalize when she should hold in her bad words, and probably grew up being treated like a princess and still expects the spotlight, or was raised with older brothers who taught her to be scrappy and insecure. And she's a terrible interrupter!
She fluctuates between acting like Dobby and Cruella for the camera. It must be horrible living inside her head. At least on The Bachelor.

Next, Ben made hair barrettes with Amanda for her girls which was a lovely gesture but not if he boots the Mama home. It will be a cruel reminder to have those barrettes holding little curls back in her daughters' hair if Ben rejects her after she falls for him. I spent this segment imagining an intern going to Ben Franklin Store to get a glue gun and barrette crafty things earlier in the day.

Ben gives the flight attendant, Lauren, a photo of the two of them, thereby reassuring her that he has feelings for the long-legged blonde, and when the rose doling starts LB chooses to go home instead of accepting Ben's rose. She must've found some dignity under one of those rose bushes at the mansion and decided to use it. Oh well.
Ben barely walks her out, then hands the roses to almost everyone left and we say goodbye to Jacki, Mandy and Samantha. Lace gets to stay on, thereby confirming that Bachelor producers get at least one vote when Ben hands out thornless roses. Thanks for that obvious confirmation because I doubt Ben is interested in this kind of DRAMA.
With Mandy gone, no pollenating will be taking place at the mansion, and with Jacki hitting the high road, no gerontology lessons either and the gal who scored lowest at the Love Lab, Sam, will head home to do damage control about hearing she smells sour. Poor thing!

The Bachelor ended and the live after show came on immediately after with Chris H's good friend Kris Jenner Kardashian.

Let the record show that I did not tune in to the after show with Chris, Chris and Kris because I have one of those filters on my devices that blocks out anything Kardashian. That and the fact that I lose all respect for myself if I waste an hour on this predictably mundane live hour. It's painful to watch.

I'm not totally into this season without Tiara on anymore, but I'm hopeful it will grow on me even though I know who he picks at the end. Or at least, I have a good idea and it's not the chicken enthusiast, Tiara Soleim. Waaaaaaaaa...

And now we wait to see what happens next week... Oh snap. I'm gone for the next two weeks at a wedding extravaganza adventure in Central America. Doubters that I'll get THE BACHELOR on TV while I'm scouring the jungle for howler monkeys and toasting the grooms in Granada, Nicaragua, but I promise I'll try to catch up ASAP. If you want to get these important accounts in your inbox, follow this blog! 

Kim Hornsby is a Bestselling, Award-Winning Suspense Author who can be found on Amazon here. She uses this blog to exercise her funny muscle and because she loves to hear herself talk.

Chicken Enthusiast Booted Back to the Barnyard!

OH NO! We really wanted that chicken lover, Tiara, to stay and talk more about her passion for chickens and now that darned Ben has gone and ruined our chances of getting to know the only person on this season of THE BACHELOR who had enough of a sense of humor to list her profession as a Chicken Enthusiast. The only gal who playfully had a photo of Ben in her house along with photos of her chickens and interestingly enough, the only person on the show not drinking. Yep, you heard me. The Chicken Enthusiast does not need to drink to stay happy or relaxed or fun. She only has to think of her chickens and happiness floods over her like a veil of that mesh fencing stuff we all use in our backyards to keep bunnies out of our veg garden. I think it's called chicken wire.
Anyone sick of the chicken jokes yet?
I really thought after her little introductory movie in Redmond WA with the chickens, we'd see more of Tiara but I know on The Bachelor they edit out a ton. On the first night, the girls line up to speak to Ben and only a few of the conversations get aired. He said "Beautiful" three times looking at her. I wished they'd shown their conversation. I saw photos online of Tiara and Ben talking by the fireplace, engaged in a conversation. Go to her Instagram account. He has his hand on her leg! (Her name is Mizz_Minxy)
Maybe it takes a special person to understand a woman who has bonded with barnyard animals but as a viewer I felt like we got a promise of some really good fun with this gal and then never really saw her again (aside from those nervous looks and facial ticks during the rose ceremony.) Bummer!
The Bachelor producers missed the fun boat with this kooky twenty-seven-year-old, this woman who decided after she made all the cuts and auditions it takes to get on The Bachelor, that she'd list her profession as something that is her passion, instead of listing "dental assistant."
And Lace over Tiara?  What the heck? I can see where Lace makes good TV but what about a Chicken Enthusiast????

I'd like to take two or three sentences to tell you that Chicken Enthusiast is not a job, it's like saying Dog Lover. The Bachelor producers encourage this type of thing to make the show more interesting. One girl listed her profession as unemployed and you have to know that they are ALL essentially unemployed when they go on the show because they have to leave jobs for a maximum of 3 months.
Tiara chose to not list dental assistant but write chicken enthusiast. There are lots of people around the planet who think keeping chickens in cages where they can't stand up or move is unethical. That's what a chicken enthusiast is. I looked it up. And I'm now one. Kind of.
I don't blame Tiara for championing for chicken rights on The Bachelor. Girls go on for selfish reasons. The Chicken Enthusiast from Redmond seems to have chosen her cause and guess what? It's a worthy one if you think about it.
Anyways, Tiara is gone, off the show now, never to know Ben in the romantic sense and never to return, but wouldn't it be fun if she was on the After Show with Chris Harrison live? We could get to see her again and she might even bring one of her chickens (like Sheila!) as long as she could fit Sheila under the seat in front of her long legs on the flight from Seattle to Los Angeles. Tiara already has all the camera ready clothes for several weeks worth of appearances seeing she packed duds and dresses for months and came home several days after she left. Wouldn't you like to see the Chicken Enthusiast in the low cut gold mini dress with the killer stilettos? Imagine Blake Lively in that movie where she was younger than her elderly daughter and looked drop dead gorgeous in a cocktail dress. Ya, you got it

How about it America and Beyond. Do you want to see Tiara, the Chicken Enthusiast next week and have her explain what happened with Ben?
Let's start a twitter campaign to get her on the live show!! I'm making this up as I go along but I have to agree with myself here about the potential of what I just suggested!
I'll know if you all feel the same way if suddenly the internet lights up with this hashtag #BringBackTiara
I thought about using the ChickenEnthusiast hashtag, like Tiara has been doing, but I have to say that the propensity to spell enthusiast improperly is great. I had to sound it out, and I'm a professional writer. It's too much work for tweeters and Instagram fans.
Just go to Twitter, write your tweet, include the hashtag and send it to #BachelorNation and #TheBachelor
Here's an example you can copy and paste, then add you own message.

 Loved the #ChickenEnthusiast! How 'bout the live show next week? #BachelorNation #BringBackTiara
#TheBachelor @chrisbharrison RT pls

Looks like a great season ahead of us. I for one look forward to seeing what happens in the next weeks and how it all unfolds even though we'll be doing it without ever getting to know that Chicken Enthusiast. How 'bout you?

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt, a short novel series based on The Bachelor. The first book is free on Amazon right now. Go straight to the free romance book or find Kim and her bestselling books on her Amazon site.