Pigs and Rats on The Bachelor!

Last night on The Bachelor things got off to a great start with Ben stupidly asking Olivia if she is the villain in the house. Of course she said no and tears followed. Apparently she likes to talk about "smart things" and she likes "thinking" and the other girls just do not. Oh an don't forget, Olivia, to add "the other girls aren't extremely competitive backstabbers."

Ben did not snatch Olivia's rose away, much to the chagrin of the other ladies, and when the camera cut to a shot of Olivia saying "Come at me, Bro," I almost did one of those surprise wine spits across the room.
Jennifer, someone we didn't get to hear from much, did not get a rose, went home, and also missed a great opportunity to warn Ben of Olivia.
The happy group toasted to going next to the Bahamas like it was an all-expense paid vacation to a tropical island (which it was!) and off they went. We cut to a commercial of Ben selling Disneyland and a special honoring 60 years of fun over there. At least is wasn't Mickey D's again. Talk about the Hawking Higgins!
At the Grand Isle Villas (product placement again) the gals cracked open the champs and settled in to the couch to hear Chris H wish them a wonderful week and hand out a date card for Caila, a girl who has already had a one on one with Ben if you don't count plugging Ice Cube and his sidekick's movie a few weeks ago. This made Leah, a seldom heard from girl in the harem, mad/disappointed. She's hardly ever even talked to the Bachelor so why is he keeping her around? It's called filler,

Leah and just be glad you got to hang around. The Chicken Enthusiast had to go home after 3 days in Los Angeles!!!!
Ben and Caila take off on a big boat to go deep sea fishing, every woman's dream date. Ahem. While Caila was reeling in a tuna, Leah was crying her eyes out back at the villa about how she hasn't had time with Ben. Then the happy couple took a leap off the tuna tower! Weeeee.

 It was funny editing, comparing the fun fish-killing date to drama back in the girls' villa. Once they washed the fishy smell off, Ben and Caila try to talk heart-to-heart but Caila is one confusing gal! She loves Ben but worries she'll break his heart, but she has real feelings for him but she doesn't. And why is it when we cut to Lauren B, her eyes are always red? Is she allergic to salt air?
The next day was a date that every woman has dreamed about all her life--sharing your boyfriend with 6 other women to go swim with ravenous pigs off a rocky island. Yes, you read that right. The women were given a plastic pail filled with hot dogs and apparently the resident pigs don't care who they trample to get the tasty confection.

Forget sharks. Did we know pigs swam that well? I didn't. Or had such bad manners? Well, I did know that because I often tell my children at the dinner table to stop eating like pigs.
Lauren H holds a piglet that looks like it would've latched on if given the chance. Ben thought it was all great fun but not only were the women upset about how much time he devoted to Lauren B. but the pigs have ruined the fun by showing their dangerous side. Leah had a perfect chance to grab Ben to talk but instead, complained about never getting time to talk with him while a pig squeals in the background.

Luckily, when they cleaned up for cocktails, they'd left Pig Island and were back at the Villa. Leah tried another tactic and threw Lauren B under the Ben bus by saying Lauren B is two-faced (excuse me, do you mean Olivia?) and then denied it with the girls. Lauren cried and was really upset when Ben told her, understandably so, but Amanda gets the rose.
Later, Leah saw an opportunity and put on her shortest shorts, teased her hair and went to Ben's bachelor pad to essentially rat out Lauren some more. He sent her packing and out she goes, on the next flight home. Geez, Leah. Rule #47 - Don't use your precious time to talk trash about the other girls to the Bachelor.
The next date was a two on one, the worst type of date in the history of The Bachelor, not just because 50% of the girls on the date go home at the end but it's just plain stupid. Does anyone else think that the Bachelor is asked "Okay, who do you want to cut loose and we'll put them on a two on one with someone you want to stay?"

The thing with this date with Emily and Olivia is that the producers made a big deal about Emily hating Olivia, then got The Mouth to trash talk Emily on camera and off they went on a terrible date in a hurricane-force wind. The speed boat deposited them on a sandy island (no pigs?) and wine was poured while Emily's hair hid her whole face in the raging wind and Olivia had the sense to scrunchie hers. Ben took Olivia on a walk with the rose and she thought she had this in the bag but when he broke the news that he couldn't reciprocate her feelings, it was the sweetest revenge!!! I'm sorry but if you talk stink about everyone else on national TV, you have to accept the fact that they are going to let you stand on a tiny island by yourself crying
while your boyfriend takes off for home with your enemy and then have the helicopter circle your lonely body on the beach for effect. My sources tell me that Olivia is really upset at how the show is portraying her but come on! No one put those words in her mouth when she said that Emily was immature and the date would be more like she and Ben were taking a child along.
Bye Bye, Olivia.
A commercial came on for Stella Artois (a fine beer!) that apparently gives money to a clean water project with every sale. Well done, beer company. #BuyaLadyaDrink
At the rose ceremony, we have JoJo, Becca, Emily, the Laurens, Amanda and Caila. They didn't leave us hanging and we said goodbye to Lauren H, the kindergarten teacher who modeled last week in Mexico.
Next week, it looks like everyone has buckets of tears, including Ben, so if you like watching people who are miserable, you'll love the show! Oh and The Bachelor has a big party on Sunday night celebrating 20 years of manipulating a dating situation to sell products on TV. Can't wait.

Kim Hornsby is a Bestselling, Award-Winning Suspense Author who can be found on Amazon here. She uses this blog to exercise her funny muscle and because she loves to hear herself talk.

Bachelor Producers Give Olivia her Own Show!

This week on the Bachelor the star of the show was Olivia, the News Anchor from Austin Texas who likes to hold her mouth open for long periods of time to show surprise. We saw Olivia in blue, Olivia in red, also plaid, Olivia with curled hair, straight hair, no makeup, fully made up, etc. You get the idea. It was like The Olivia Show. Sixteen times, we cut to a private interview to hear what Olivia thought. SIXTEEN TIMES!

The episode began with the flight to Mexico City! "Viva La Mexico" Ben yells for the camera. It's interesting to note that the Bachelor person always flies separately from the girls. I believe this is purposefully done to keep these women chomping at the bit to see their "boyfriend"... reminds me of the Stockholm Syndrome.
The ladies check in to the opulent Four Seasons Hotel in Mexico City and we begin the Olivia Show with a cut to her head and neck telling us that she and Ben have a special love, unlike all the others. She feels it. She's special.

Amanda, the petite mom with the small voice gets the one on one date and then we cut to Olivia to hear her comments on this. Not happy.

At 4 a.m. the next morning, Ben is let into their suite and with a flashlight, wakes them up, calling their names, looking for Amanda who amazingly sleeps in full makeup, hair done, and wearing a cute outfit.

Don't tell me she didn't know this was happening. The others had their weaves on the nightstand, were wearing retainers, had teddy bears in their arms and had "dragon breath" - Olivia
The date takes Ben and Amanda to board a hot air balloon where they cruise over the pyramids and cuddle and talk and kiss. I thought Amanda looked frightened, either of Ben or the balloon experience but that could just be me. At the picnic spot, they looked perfectly in sync and talked about Amanda's ex husband who is now probably trying to do damage control for being outed as a bad dad on national TV. That night, after suiting up in fancy duds, they sat at a table for two, sipping drinks, talking about how it's hard for Amanda to switch from Mom mode to sexy siren mode. Fair enough.

The group date included everyone but Lauren H who almost spilled red wine on a white couch when she heard her name not being called. It meant that she'd get the last one on one. Again we cut to Olivia for her opinion on this and she made some faces and did some minor trash talk.
The date began with a Spanish Lesson by a teacher who held one of those old fashioned pointers. Ben learns how to say "I love you, will you marry me and will you accept this rose." How about "back off Olivia"? (that's what I was kind of hoping for) Olivia gets more camera time, Emily drops in for her comments on Olivia and we see that the producers are creating a cat fight moment in the works. Jubilee is not happy with Ben having 10 other girlfriends. Not at all.
They walked to a restaurant & market where a scary-looing woman in tight braids and her brother divided them into teams of two and gave them each a shopping list. Olivia and Jubilee grabbed Ben and wouldn't let go. Finally Olivia "claimed him" and they all went downstairs to shop for ingredients. It's a cooking competition and no one in the group but Ben likes to cook, apparently. Olivia got more air time, hung off Ben, fed him food and they drank tequila as they shopped.
Strangely, we cut to a commercial that features Sean and Catherine, Desiree and Chris and Ben, touting McDonald's food. What???? How much did they get paid to do this? I have to think Catherine is thinking "this will buy all the baby nursery furniture" as she pretends to eat Mickey D food.

Back at the restaurant, the girls pretty much failed at cooking. Olivia put dried crickets on her and Ben's food and didn't get the laugh she hoped for. Lauren B and Jubilee won the competition with an edible fish dish but they got absolutely nothing for their effort.
That night at the cocktail party, Olivia grabbed Ben mid-sentence and claimed him once more, making her the most hated girl in the house. Maybe not most hated girl ever because she hasn't faked a panic attack yet. Oh, wait. She did that last week.

Emily got more riled and talked about telling Ben that Olivia is a bully. "I'm not afraid to say that," she says. Jubilee is not good in a group date setting and her insecurities made her bitch material when Ben tried to take her aside for a talk. She's pissed to be sharing Ben and the writing on the wall had Ben asking her to leave the show. She exited tearfully and we are sad to see her go. We liked her but she just couldn't separate her relationship from the other girls' relationships. Crash and burn.

JoJo takes Ben aside for a talk and is real and sweet and truthful and of course, Olivia doesn't like that someone else in talking to her man. I'm kind of sick of hearing from Olivia at this point. I wouldn't mind hearing from Leah or Jennifer please. But Olivia got the rose, flaunted it and we dislike her.

The next one on one date is Lauren H, the blonde kindergarten teacher with the funny faces. It happened to be Fashion Week in Mexico City and they ended up modeling for a designer in his fashion show. Both Ben and Lauren did a stand up job with their soft elbows on the runway. They looked bored as hell (as models do!) while they walked the walk and did a fine job. "Holy Shoot!" Lauren says (in case parents of students are watching) Ben does the sexiest little wink at her as they pass on the runway and it's worth finding that moment on your TV to see. Here's the last 1/4 second of the wink below...

Their twosome dinner/drinks went well and Lauren H got the rose. Because they both sleep with a retainer, they found common ground that bonds them beyond a physical attraction, you see.

At the rose ceremony on a rooftop patio, Olivia is still getting oodles of camera time and when she said hearing Amanda's story of her kids reminds her of an episode of Teen Mom, Olivia buries herself, socially. Ben isn't there to hear but the girls decided that is the final straw. Emily went off to tell Ben about Olivia who is still acting all haughty after her inappropriate comment. Mid-cry Emily saw Olivia coming down the stairs to crash Ben and Emily's moment and Emily runs off like the place is on fire instead of confronting her. This is totally expected from a girl who sleeps with a teddy bear.
Amanda also tells Ben that Olivia is a bully (when he specifically asks her) and he's shocked. Well done, Amanda. That gets the Bachelor thinking maybe Olivia isn't all she pretends to be. He should just ask her outright because of course she will tell him the truth.
Okay, this is the moment on every show where the girls hate one girl, the Bachelor can't see it and he keeps her on in spite of what he's been told. RED FLAG! I have to think the producers insist that the hated girl has to stay for another week and give some excuse that satisfies the Bachelor because this happens every time!!!!
When Ben asks to speak to Olivia privately, we see To Be Continued on the screen but we know. She'll fake ignorance, he'll feel badly for her and she'll stay. After all, she has that rose in her clutches. Next week we'll see this all go down but I don't need to wait on pins and needles. I know.
They didn't give Olivia 16 cut to camera shots this week to let her walk away. And I counted how many times we had to hear from the mouth from the south about her overly competitive attitude.

Note to Olivia: This is what good sportsmanship looks like...

I do not watch the after party live show anymore as it makes me lose all respect for myself by wasting a perfectly good hour.

This is Ben's Charity and probably one of the reasons he did THE BACHELOR -- to raise awareness.
Humanity and Hope


Kim Hornsby is a Bestselling, Award-Winning Suspense Author who can be found on Amazon here. She uses this blog to exercise her funny muscle and because she loves to hear herself talk.