Drunk Guy Dated Bach Alumni! What?

Tonight began with Chris Harrison telling us this is the most controversial Bachelorette show in history. Oh my! Two ladies. Only one will realize her dream of being an American Reality Show 6- month celebrity. The other will be humiliated and sent home. America knows that this is smarmy. And Bachelor Nation has been very vocal about having to take sides. Thus the controversy.

I'm going to make this as short as I can and still use words like creepy drunk guy and popularity contest.
First up on the first night of a two part season opener, we see a few clips of contestants, which the Bachelor people call cast mates like Disney does. We watched a guy welding a rose, a Princeton grad Division 1 runner who had to teach himself to walk again, a guy with a very overweight dog, a singer/songwriter, a divorced dad (let's not mix up single dad this year, shall we? A single dad is an only parent, raising a child all alone, isn't it?) We got to take a look at a fitness instructor, a hippy who talks to plants like babies and a law student who strips for law school money.
Twenty-five guys, two women, and one host who looked like he'd rather be somewhere else. Did anyone else think Chris Harrison looked bored? Or mad? Or maybe his tie was too tight.
In the oiled-down driveway the men arrived in limos as Kaitlyn and Britt stood fifteen feet apart, waiting, like two cows going to slaughter. Kaitlyn voiced how scared she was, Britt voiced how confident she was (of her first impression capabilities, we think), and Chris Harrison went off camera for a nap or a game of HALO.
Can I just say the fact that Kaitlyn was a bit worried was real and Britt's calm happiness was a bit strange. Both of them wanted this opportunity, had a hotel room full of gowns, makeup, shoes, and the hope of being The Bachelorette. Why was Britt so devoid of nerves? I have a theory about confidence.
What was cringe-worthy at this point was that the men had two women to greet and were able to show favoritism in front of the other girl. Britt got all the attention at first and Kaitlyn stood there like an ugly potato, near tears. Britt greeted them with warm smiles and then finally Kaitlyn got the hang of playing the game and even took a quick break to run in the house to tell the men they were almost finished. Britt's claws showed when she told the camera that was unfair. See Bachelor producers? You wanted to pit them against each other and get some dirt going and there you go. These women held out as long as they could but sweet Britt started realizing she might not end up the Bachelorette and her true colors came out.
Meanwhile, there was a guy getting absolutely blotto in the mansion. Actually, he got out of the limo drunk. At first he was funny to watch, telling everyone he was "horned up" and waving at the ladies from the windows. What we now know about Ryan is that he used to be Nikki's boyfriend, the woman who ended up with Juan Pablo at the end of their season. Wow, she sure knows how to pick 'em! Her mother must be wondering about what she did wrong.
Watching Drunk Guy, I couldn't imagine him every redeeming himself after he called both girls Ho's. Tony the Plant Talker Guy giggled and mentioned he shouldn't say that. In the movie version Drunk Guy will be played by Seth Rogen and Kaitlyn will play herself.
Finally, Chris Harrison stepped in after several self-professed knights in armor tried to confront Drunk Guy and a fight looked imminent. The sloshed cast member was asked to go. C.H. actually looked scared as Drunk Guy heard the news, leaned in as though he might get violent, but then walked to the limo disappointedly. On twitter, Jordan, Drunk Girl from last season, was crying from happiness and tweeting that she wasn't nearly this drunk on her season.

We watched cast members arrive in motorized cupcakes, a hot tub convertible car, swallowing helium, dancing and hugging both girls well into the night until all twenty-five were inside the mansion and both girls competitively speed dated all twenty-five men.
Kaitlyn was overwhelmed, Britt smiled and agreed with everything the men said, establishing a common bond immediately. Kaitlyn said "frickin" a lot, Britt oozed sweetness and both campaigned like politicians on election night.
The men were told to vote when they were ready and before a sour-faced Chris Harrison could finish his sentence, Namaste Plant talker had voted for Britt. It was anyone's guess how it would go. The dude from Ontario Canada, the sex advisor, was just plain STUPID. Let's pretend he was from another country, can we?



And then we heard we had to wait for the following night to find out who would be The Bachelorette. I was actually happy to take a little break from the sliminess of the situation--making two seemingly lovely young women compete against each other in this silly popularity contest under the pretense of finding a husband.


  Tune in tomorrow for the second night assessment of the most controversial bachelorette ever in the history of the world, no, the universe.

The Bachelorettes Airs Today!

Although I'm cringing inside to think that these two gorgeous, worthy women are pitted against each other on The Bachelorette tonight, Chris Harrison and both Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Nilsson tell us not to worry. It isn't anything like that. The two contestants like each other, think this is a great idea and the whole thing is loads of fun.

Okay, so they drank the Bachelorette Koolaid the producers offered and were convinced that this new twist to an already demeaning to women show was just good ole fashioned fun, not a smarmy attempt to get better ratings. Britt and Kaitlyn don't know how this looks to the American public because they are not part of the American public anymore. The moment the Bachelor producers pitched the idea of putting two girls on the show for the first night and having the men actually vote for the one they like the best, the contestants lost their ability to see the situation clearly.
"This is an amazing opportunity to form a platform and do good in the world," "After this promo, you'll be able to write your own ticket of what you want to do in entertainment," "Not many people get an opportunity like this to gain fame so quickly and then use it to further your career." These are all possible pitches that producers use to lure unsuspecting contestants into the web known as The Bachelor franchise.
I'm not saying I won't watch tonight, because you know I'll be parked in front of my huge TV, with a glass of wine in hand, hanging on every word. But I have a pre-conceived idea of how nasty it was to use two girls for this, discard one and pretend it was all in good fun. If my mind is changed after watching, I'll apologize publicly tomorrow on my blog but for now, let the record show that the Bachelor producers have hit a new low by appealing to people's need to achieve fame on a reality show.
See you here tomorrow for my take on the evening's event.


Kim Hornsby is a Best Selling Author and devout Bachelor fan who is ashamed at how much enjoyment she gets from this show.


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The Bachelorette - Monday May 18th

The premier of THE BACHELORETTE 2015 with Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Nilsson is now less than 3 weeks away. (I'm always a little embarrassed to admit how much I like this franchise. It's just so fun to watch!)
This season The Bachelor is mixing it up, throwing in some curve balls and doing a few things differently. About time to shake things up a bit after so many years, I say!
Instead of one Bachelorette, they will start with two ladies and the men will vote for which one they want to remain.

HALT! Does anyone else think this idea just sounds like an ego-bruising endeavor for one and an ego-puffing exercise for the other? What girl in her right mind would do this? The producers had to have spun the premise differently to the girls like "It'll be great! You'll both get fantastic national exposure, one will get the sympathetic vote and be America's sweetheart when she leaves the show and the other will be the Bachelorette! Win Win!!!!" I'm imagining these producers sitting around talking about how they'll pitch it to get two girls pitted against each other in a speed dating situation where men have nothing to go on but the sexy factor and a few sentences of conversation. And you have to know that these twenty something men are not going to be thinking about who would make them the best wife.
Apparently one woman is chosen and one leaves but don't worry, the eliminated contestant has found love probably faster than the one who had to go all over hell's half acre to date all these men. If you don't want to know who gets to stay, stop reading now. I'll give you a minute to think about this while I tell you that it's pretty common knowledge who leaves. Kaitlyn remains and Britt goes but apparently the latter has a boyfriend now. Maybe even someone she met from the show. Maybe even someone who was eliminated at the beginning. Reality Steve makes his living collecting information about this show and now only has to sit back and receive tips from others instead of hoofing it all over America to spy on the show. Basically, this is where I get my info. That and Wet Paint.
The Bachelorette production just left Ireland where they hung out for awhile and they've dropped off the face of the earth temporarily which suggests that they are coming in to hometowns. Kaitlyn might be in Vancouver, Canada, no one is entirely sure. Watching social media seems to be the best way to track these people and with the names of most of the 25 bachelors on Reality Steve's list, spies report in regularly if anyone posts their location or alludes to love or a TV show or pretty much anything. Last night, I dropped in to several of the guy's twitter accounts to see nothing in particular but you know these guys will be gaining thousands of followers in the weeks to come and some may even start fashion blogs or blogs on men's grooming. It looks like a VERY handsome group that makes it past the first elimination, so this might be fun to watch.
That's all I have for now on The Bachelorette front but I'll keep you posted as I learn more.
In other news, Chris Harrison's Romance novel is out and although I haven't read it and may not, it's made a few sales. In a moment of weakness and poor judgment, I did, however, buy Courtney's Tell All book, I'm Not Here to Make Friends, or something like that. Soon, I'll do a full summary of all the juicy tidbits of her time on the Bachelor in Ben Flajnik's season. In my own defense, I was looking for a book written by a Bachelor contestant that told about what goes on from a production standpoint because I'm getting ready to write the third novella in my Husband Hunt series and want more info on behind the scenes. Melissa Rycroft, Sean Lowe and Trista's books didn't have what I was looking for.
In the meantime, let's count the days until The Bachelorette premier, shall we? 19.


Kim Hornsby writes fiction and has a novella series on Amazon Books called The Husband Hunt. The first book is free to get you hooked. :)