Samantha Out-Villains Joe!

Okay, now I'm feeling a tiny bit bad for Joe. Just one
smithereen. Mostly I'm feeling happy like at the end of a movie and the bad guy falls into a pit of burning acid. Or in this case, the bad guy gets outbadded by the evil woman who used him to serve herself.




Last night on Bachelor In Paradise we watched a diabolical plan unfold. It seems the lovely Samantha has been garnering allies and men friends for months all in the name of surviving on BIP to the end. With Joe in her bikini back pocket, she received his rose and then proceeded to dump him. The best line of the night was by Joe who sensed the breakup and said "If the tables were reversed, I'd still be by her side." I wonder if he thought of Juelia and how he double-crossed her only two days earlier.
But first, the rose ceremony:
The couples are Jade and Tanner, Carly and Kirk, Tenley and Joshua, maybe Jared and Ashley I, and that is it for now.
That meant that there were two men and five women and the roses were in the men's hands! Ben had broken up with Ashley S and dated Amber, who he liked and JJ had been on a date with Megan but felt like Juelia deserved the rose. Tenley told him this.
What stuck in my craw about this rose ceremony was the way everyone insisted these men give Juelia the rose but no one wanted to forfeit their own rose. Ben likes Amber. Why should he give up on that? JJ wanted to see what would happen with Megan. Why pressure him to give Juelia the rose? My blood pressure rose to watch everyone with a rose tell the camera that Juelia deserved the rose. Then give her yours!
This rose ceremony was unusual. JJ left, saying he wanted to give a girl back home another chance if she'd have him, but not before giving AShley S his rose. I believe he knew that Chris H was going to save Juelia by bringing back Mikey, who hadn't left the country yet, obviously. Not sure about Juelia and Mikey but it was SUPER FUN to see them walk back into the fold!
Ashley I. got her rose from Jared who thinks she's the sweetest girl here (by now he's seen her dissing all the girls in the first episode!) but doesn't have romantic feelings for her. He's still getting over Kaitlyn which is a normal response to going on this show weeks after breaking up with a girl he hoped to marry. Sheesh!

When Joe threw himself a birthday party in a private party room, complete with a cake covered in chocolate cherries from Jorge's bar that said Happy Birthday Joe, Samantha took that opportunity to break up with him. She tried to turn the tables by saying he brought so much drama to the table. If you think Samantha might be a nice person, please take a moment to slap your own face.
She's scheming. I only half-smiled at the breakup because I felt kind of badly for the birthday boy. All that day Joe had shown the most pitiful side of himself--one in which he's a heartbroken idiot, a weakling being played by Samantha. Joe isn't a master mind after all. He's like the canary that sings when the criminals get arrested. Earlier, he'd felt a titch confident because his true love, Samantha, had turned down a date with the new guy, Nick. Joe took that as a good sign. But Nick was quick to tell everyone she'd been texting talking to him for months and said she'd go on a date with him when he showed up. But she stuck with Joe that day. Why? I have to think that her diabolical plan was to wait for the next man to arrive, see if he was someone she'd texted and liked better.
Now we want Samantha to crumble like a Jenga tower in a hurricane. Get her feelings hurt. Did anyone else hear Juelia say that Samantha had gone on vacations with her between Chris's season and BIP? And then she treats her like this? What is wrong with that woman?

Another highlight of this wonderful episode was Ashley and Nick getting so drunk they could hardly talk. It all started when their date was re-routed from a boat trip to a private island to massages at a hotel (Hurrican Carlos coming in) and then hot tubbing and drinking (What is "Beyond Carking Carry"? This is something Ashley said after about 8 shots of tequila. Those two didn't know when to stop drinking!)

Don't forget the other highlights...Jade and Tanner having an overnight date and declaring their love for each other, Ashley I. basing her love for Jared on his bone structure, and Joe using the word "conversate". Oh, and JJ left the show valiantly in a hero-type flourish to say he was off to continue a relationship with a girl he was dating before BIP. (His twitter account tells us he did not end up with the girl. "BIP takes its toll" he said. At least he dug himself out of that rut where he slapped himself across the face after Vill'ing.)

Shout Out goes to the production team, the editors who did a great job capturing Samantha's awkward face when Nick showed up, and to the set decorators! As always--FANTASTIC JOB!

More tomorrow! Can't wait. We'll be conversating then!

The Bachelorette Deflects the Drunk Guy and more!

November 24,2014 Update
There are no photos in this blog because a photo used from the internet belonged to someone who asked me to take it down. Not sure which photo they were referring to, I decided to remove all pictures from this blog.


This season's The Bachelorette has begun and although I vowed to not watch because Andi was downright mean-spirited on national TV to Juan Pablo, I'm watching. Of course, I'm watching. As stupid as this show looks on paper, it fulfills something in me and I look forward to Monday night like it's my only form of happiness all week. (which it isn't if you're now feeling sorry for me)

Andi Dorfman took a leave of absence from her DA job in Atlanta (What??) to be the next Bachelorette. One clue that this is a good transition is how much makeup and the high heels she wore to ghetto areas where she tromped through overgrown yards to catch criminals.



Despite the odds, this lawyer really believes that she might find eternal love on the show. With a closet full of cute clothes and advice from her sister, Andi began her stint on the show in a gorgeous gown of jeweled opulence. The first order of business was greeting 25 men at the mansion's hosed-down driveway. Some of the men were bordering on goofy, some quite nervous and most very handsome. This Bachelorette differs from all other ladies who wore the Bachelorette shoes in that she's quick witted, has snappy repartee and speaks well under pressure. The exchanges with the men who emerged from the limo were cute, fun and interesting. What made Andi go on and on and on about what she hated about Juan Pablo is the very thing that makes her different. She's wordy and well spoken. Not like Kelly Clarkson's I can't stop talking, sort of way. Andi is funny and her choice of words and phrases are clever.
Inside the mansion, she toasted her bevvy of men who were fawning over the highly made up, bejeweled woman like she was the only gorgeous creature in the room. Oh, she was. So naturally they are all lusting after her like hungry lions fighting over a potential mate. The front runners on that first night seemed to be Nick, one of 11 children,

a guy who doesn't seem that special on camera but got the first impression rose, the handsome basketball player, Josh, who doesn't want to be stereotyped, a quiet man named Marcus, of German descent with piercing blue eyes, Eric Hill, who we now know died in a paragliding accident a month ago, Marquel, a devilishly handsome and well-spoken man with a penchant for colorful clothing and Chris, a gentle farmer from Iowa.

Andi eliminates all the men with long hair in the first rose ceremony even though one of them is a doctor and then she moves on to the remaining contestants. Although she lets the guy go who introduced himself as Anal with an m, she keeps the muscular Macklemore lookalike and the goofy goofball puppy doggish boyman Craig who turns out to be the honorary drunkard on the group date days later.







Party crasher...Anyone remember Chris on Emily's season who later went on to Bachelor Pad? I never liked him but now I like him less. He flew out to L.A. lurking around, waiting for Andi's first night and showed up at the rose ceremony with roses, hoping to be on the show. Andi sent him packing via Chris Harrison and he looked genuinely upset like his stalker behavior might be received differently. Didn't Chris see others try this on previous shows? It never ends well. Just wait six months Chris, until you see a newly single Andi at a Bachelor alumni party in Los Angeles and you can hit on her then.

The first date was a one on one with Eric Hill, a handsome adventurer who playfully captures Andi's interest first by making sand castles on the beach with her and then snowboarding at Big Bear only an hour later. You can't watch this part of the show without feeling sad that this vibrant young man is no longer on this earth. He was a lovely person but as his sister said, he died doing what he loved. Adventuring. According to what I read, his crash was very sudden and he died instantly.
The group date involved just about everyone else. The Bachelor producers disguised a Chippendales type display of beefcake behind a charity fundraiser, giving the viewers an embarrassing view of the men's bodies and ability to show them off. Sharleen and Kelly arrived to sit with Andi in the audience while the men danced for charity. Yea, right. Shame on the producers again! Last season Andi practically posed naked with Juan Pablo to save dogs and now the men are asked to strip to speedos and dance provocatively for some other charity. Although it was almost entertaining in a cringe-worthy way, the smarminess didn't go unnoticed by this viewer and I'm mad at the producers for doing this. Like when they made the one-armed girl roller skate. Shame on them.
The group date was cut short when Craig, the token drunk in the group, had too much to drink and ruined everything. Why they didn't just cart him off and continue on, is beyond me. Come on Andi, use your lawyer savvy and charge him with something and send him to Bachelor Jail to sober up.
The next one on one date was with Chris the sweet Iowa farmer. He was charming but maybe gave away a little too much on the first date. This girl is citified, savvy and smart and capable of eating guys for breakfast.


At the rose ceremony she got rid of Craig the drunk, in spite of the fact he sang her a terrible song he wrote to apologize. She also let the fireman, Carl, go which I thought was a bad idea. He was quiet but kinda handsome and intriguing.
First kiss I believe was with Josh the basketball player with the big smile. Did we hear that he has a girlfriend? Is that coming up in a tearful episode?

 

Sunday is the next installment. And Monday. Lucky us! Apparently Eric Hill leaves suddenly and the men aren't sure what happened.
The Bachelorette is back and filling up Monday nights! Phew!

Kim Hornsby is the author of The Husband Hunt, a free novella on Amazon Books that strangely resembles the TV show, The Bachelor. If you like this reality series, download the novella on a Tuesday when you're pining for a new episode!
Kim is the Bestselling Author of The Dream Jumper's Promise, which was nominated for best indie first book and best Paranormal in 2013.Publisher's Weekly calls it a "fascinating and engaging paranormal romance."